I Promise if You're With Me, Say the Word and We'll Find a Way.

The next day wasn’t the greatest for anybody on the bus. Jack spent the whole day avoiding Alex. He was afraid to talk to him and say something wrong, or say something that would hurt him even more. He was just going to have to ignore him from now on to avoid hurting Alex. It hurts Jack to think about not being able to go around Alex. Even though things haven’t been good between them, Alex is still a big part of Jack’s life. Jack still loves him. And Alex is still his rock. He doesn’t know how he will survive without talking to Alex or being with him as much as he usually is.

Jack was playing video games in the back lounge when Rian walked in. "Hey. You should try to say sorry." Jack paused the game. "I told Zack to tell Alex I said sorry. If I speak to him, I will just hurt him more. I can't do that to him again. Plus Zack will pound me into the floor if I speak to Alex alone." Jack looked down at his knees. "Ignoring him will do nothing to help him Jack." Jack ignored him and went back to his game. He knew Rian was right, but he just couldn’t bring himself to admit it. He couldn’t go out there and speak to Alex.
“Okay dude. But you know that you’re gonna have to talk to him soon. I don’t think he will last without speaking to you.” Jack nodded. “And I don’t think you’ll last either. Seriously, just man up and talk to him.” Jack stopped his game once again. “Rian, you heard Zack-“ “YEAH I DID. And he said he didn’t hate you. But he was upset. He would punch you or anything if you talk to Alex. And you know that.” Jack sighed. Yeah he did know that. He was just afraid.

*a week later*
They started playing more shows but it wasn't the same. Alex wasn't as lively, Jack stayed away from Alex. Rian and Zack tried their best to fill in for what was missing on stage but it was hard. Even Jack wasn’t his usual goofy self. The whole band was in this funk and Zack was sick of seeing his two best friends in pain. Everyone they knew could practically see Alex and Jack’s hearts tearing. They could all see them practically disappear.
On the bus and in hotels they were separated. No one would dare put them in the same hotel room; afraid one of them would do something they regretted. Afraid they would just break down. And if Alex was honest, he just wanted Jack to talk to the other boy. He's still messing with a bunch of girls. Not that Jack wants to. And he isn’t really messing with them. He bring them back with him but by the end of it all, he couldn’t even think of having sex with them and he sits there crying to them about Alex. Yeah, they all willingly listen to Jack, and they don’t mind surprisingly. It pains Alex every day when he thinks Jack actually is messing with them. He’s cutting and he hates himself for it. He doesn't think anyone notices, but Zack does. He doesn't say anything though.

They were in the back lounge and Alex was in his bunk. He heard them talking perfectly clear. Something he usually was grateful for. But not today. Today he just wanted to curl up in his bunk and drown everything else out. "I know I told you not to talk to him without me there but, Jack he's cutting. You have to talk to him. If you don't it might end up killing him. Please. Do something." "Zack's right." Rian said. "No. It will make things worse. Plus if he really cared and really wanted to talk to me he wouldn't be suck a baby and just talk to me!"

Alex walked into the bathroom and locked the door crying; unsurprisingly. He could still hear what they were saying. Zack yelled at Jack. "you're so stupid! He's afraid Jack! You changed so much that it scares him. Whatever. You're just a horrible person. Go to hell." Alex took out his blade and cut below his other cuts. He hissed in pain, crying. "Fuck you Jack." He whispered to himself. Rian was next to speak. “Yeah, you think this is all about him just being immature? Because it’s not, and you know that. You know why he is like this Jack. Listen to us when we say that it’s important that you speak to him. Right now all he needs is you. YOU Jack. And he won’t take help from anyone else.”

There was a little pause where no one spoke. He heard the door knob jiggle. "Fuck." he rushed to the sink to wash off his arm. "Alex? Alex open up." it was Jack. "Just-just a sec!" he put his arm under the water but pulled it back, screaming. "ALEX?! Alex what the hell open up. Are you okay?" "Go away I'm fine." Jack slammed against the door trying to open it. He could hear Alex crying. "No you're not, please Alex." Alex took the towel and put it on his cut, ignoring Jack and sliding to the floor against the tub.

He then heard the door open and Jack rushed in closing the door. "I picked the door open. Alex please talk to me." when he got closer he saw the towel "What did you do?!" he sat in front of Alex, taking his hand. "Oh my god." he said starting to cry. "L-let me clean this for you. Please." Alex started to cry too and nodded. Jack took out the bandage and antiseptic cream from the first aid and wetted a cloth with warm water. "Sorry if I hurt you. But we have to get this cleaned." he put the cloth to Alex's wrist and Alex whipmered. "I'm sorry babe." Alex froze at the nickname, but relaxed a few seconds later, smiling. "Now the cream and bandage."
He Fixed Alex up the best he could without crying to himself. He did this to Alex. It was all his fault that the older boy was hurting in more way than one. He didn’t know why he kept doing this to Alex, but what he did know is that it’s over. He really can’t stand watching Alex slowly get weaker and weaker.

When Jack was finished he put the cloth on the tub and sat closer to Alex. "I'm so sorry. I know that won't be good enough anymore after how much I hurt you, but believe me. I am sorry. Alex...I hate myself for doing this to you. No more girls. I promise,” he started, as he rubbed Alex’s arm. “I literally couldn’t stand messing around with those girls anymore. I cried to them about you the whole time, and that’s no lie. I want to re build our friendship. I love you Alex. And maybe not as much as you love me. But if you're willing to, I’d like you to wait so I can show you that I can and will love you the way you love me. I'd like to help you and be your friend again," Alex smiled. "and to be your Jack again." Alex hugged him. "My Jack." they pulled away and Jack took Alex's wrist kissing it.

Alex smiled at him and Jack helped him up. "Get some rest. Please. You need it and it's late." He nodded. "I want to forgive you. And I do. But you have to give me some time with this. You hurt me badly, and I'm not okay. But I will be. I just need the time." Jack helped Alex in bed and tucked him in kissing his forehead. "And I will give it to you. I will help you. Night Lexi." Alex went to sleep, more content than he has been for a while.

Jack went back to see Rian and Zack and they smiled at him. Zack stood up and hugged Jack tightly. “Thanks Zack. You were right,” Zack pulled away and they stood there. “he is bad, and it’s my fault.” Zack nodded. “And you know how this goes Jack. He’s going to tell you he’s all better when he really isn’t. So keep a close eye on him until he really is better.” Jack nodded and smiled. “I’m going to sleep. It’s been a long week without much sleep for any of us.” They all headed to the bunks and got some well-deserved sleep, all happy that this will finally end soon. Jack smiled as he lay there. Things were going to get better. And he was going to help Alex. He was going to love Alex. No matter how long it took.