What's the Point of Being in Love?

“Where are we going?” I asked Alex as we weaved through the busses, the music fading away behind us.

“It’s a secret,” Alex smirked.

I stayed quiet after that as he led me down and stopped in front of a bus. “Your bus?” I quirked a brow.

“Yes,” Alex nodded. “But don’t worry, we’re not going inside.”

I titled my head to the side. “Oh yeah? Then where are we going?”

Alex took my hand and led me to the back. I stared at it, questioning. Alex groaned and gestured wildly to the ladder.

My eyes widened, “You want to go up there?”

“It’s fun, trust me,” he replied.

“Okay…but go before me. I’m wearing a dress,” I replied. Alex chuckled and nodded before grasping one of the bars and hoisting himself up. Once he was up and on the top, his head peaking over, I finally gained the courage to climb up as well.

Then we were both on the metal, which was surprisingly cool. Alex smiled at me and laid down. I laid down next to him.

“Do you come up here often?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“When I want to think, yes,” Alex nodded. “On top of tour busses…even in Vegas you could see the stars perfectly.”

My gaze traveled to the night sky. He was right.

“Wow,” I mumbled. “They’re so pretty.”

“They are.”

Alex and I laid silently for a while.

“What did you want to be if you weren’t in Friday?” Alex asked suddenly, turning his head to look at me.

“A photographer,” I answered without second thought. “What about you?”

“A vet,” he replied. “I love animals.”

I couldn’t help but smile, “Me too.”

“Really? What’s your favorite animal?” I turned to the sky and thought for a while.

“A housecat,” I answered finally.

“Do you have any cats?” Alex then turned onto his side.

I shook my head sadly, “No.”

“Why not?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I guess I just never got one.”

We were quiet again.

“Hey, look. There’s the Big Dipper,” I said, pointing up to the sky.

“You can see constellations?” Alex gazed up at the sky as well.

“I can see the Big Dipper…” I giggled.

“I see.” Alex plopped back down on his back.

It was quiet again. It wasn’t an awkward silence or anything…it was comfortable.

“So…Liam?”

I turned my head to Alex and pressed my lips together. I felt my chest constrict.

“Liam was my brother…” I trailed off.

“Yeah…but what do you mean was?” Alex scooted a little closer.

“He died about five years ago,” I answered.

Alex wrapped his arms around me, “How?”

My eyes shut themselves as I tried to keep the tears from falling. “He jumped off a building.”

Alex got quiet.

“I was in the hospital in critical condition…the doctors told my family that they didn’t think I would make it. He went a little crazy and jumped off the hospital building,” I explained quietly.

Alex’s arms tightened around me. He didn’t apologize, though, and I felt grateful for that. I hated when people apologized to me about things like that. It made me feel weak. Like I was under people. I’d been through loads of shit, but that didn’t make me less than anybody else.

“Critical condition?” Alex asked eventually. I nodded, still trying not to cry. “For what?”

“Sleeping pill overdose,” I said so quietly even I could barely hear it. But Alex did.

His voice was hard, “Why?”

I gulped. “My boyfriend and I had just broken up…and he said some pretty harsh things to me.” I felt so stupid saying it. Never had I realized until now that I was just some stupid girl for doing that.

Alex didn’t speak.

“He called me a sadistic cold bitch because I was trying to be his friend…” I continued, tears falling freely now. “He rubbed in my face that he’d been making out with the school slut. It didn’t work so well with me…I ended up swallowing half a bottle of pills.”

Alex reached a hand up, rubbing his callused thumb under my eye to wipe away a tear.

“My parents had been leaving me alone because I was really heartbroken over the break up. So they didn’t notice until five days later when I had passed out going downstairs to get food. My kidneys were really fucked up by then.”

“How long had you two been together?” Alex asked.

“Two years,” I answered. “But we’d moved really fast. That’s kind of why I expected so much from him. He had asked me to marry him and named our kids.”

“That’s a real ass thing to do.”

I couldn’t help but laugh through my tears, “Yeah, it was.”

We laid quietly again, snuggled up in each other’s arms as we watched the night sky. I had stopped crying by now.

“You hear that?”

I looked up at Alex, “Hear what?”

Alex pulled away from me, pressing his ear to the top of the bus. I quirked a brow.

“Uh…”

Alex laughed and ushered me to do the same, so I did. My eyes widened when I heard the moaning.

“Jack…fuck…Jack…”

“Holy shit,” I mumbled. “Jack be gettin’ bitches.”

“Who do you think it is?” Alex asked, pulling away from the metal.

I smirked, “Sierra Kusterback.”

“How you know?” Alex gave me an look.

“I told him to go for her,” I answered simply.

Alex nodded, “Oh.”

I crossed my legs and sat towards him.

“So what happened between you and Cameron?” he asked, copying me.

“I was leaving with Kellin from Sleeping With Sirens when Cameron decides to come be a cock-block and go all ‘you’re my girlfriend’ on me,” I answered. Alex laughed. I furrowed my eyebrows. “What?”

“It’s just funny,” Alex not-so-answered.

“Yes, cause I’m laughing so hard,” I said sarcastically.

Alex poked his tongue at me.

“How did it happen? With Cameron?” He grabbed my hand and began to fiddle with my fingers.

“I don’t know. He just kissed me one night while Friday was touring with Downtown and I told him that I didn’t want a serious relationship because of my last relationship so he said it was fine and we just started…what we have now.”

“Was the last relationship the one guy…?” I nodded. He didn’t push it.

“Peyton and I used to fight all the time,” I said out of nowhere. I didn’t even know why I said it. Alex looked up at me. I pushed on. “It was always stupid things…how he didn’t like that I smoked cigarettes. He didn’t want me to go to a guys house with a friend. He even got jealous when I went to help a friend out to buy another friend’s engagement ring because we had a thing in the past.” I looked up at the sky. “The thing we fought about most, though, was if I had something on my mind, or something was upsetting me, and I just didn’t want to talk about it…he’d just constantly bug me about it. He’d like…pester me. And then I’d just get pissed and tell him to leave me alone or something…And it always would turn into a fight.”

Alex licked his lips, “Sounds like a little bitch.”

I laughed, “It’s funny, cause that slut that I mentioned? They were dating and shit and this guy I was kinda friends with who was friends with her said that she called him a ‘little bitch’.”

Alex chuckled. “Could guess why.” I nodded.

We were quiet again, just playing with each other’s fingers.

Then I looked up, and Alex’s eyes like melted chocolate were gazing at me. They had this unreadable expression in them. My breath hitched in my throat.

And then he began to lean closer…

“I have to go,” I said suddenly. Alex jumped back, surprised. “It’s getting late. I think bus call is soon…”

Alex nodded, “Yeah, okay. You want me to walk you?”

I shook my head, “Nah, it’s fine.” I scooted closer to the ladder. “See you later, though?”

“Yeah. Bye, Cayne.”

I snuck one last peak at Alex. “Goodnight, Alex.”