My Miserable Romance
Choke.
~Two weeks later~
"Mikes, I'm leaving!" I yelled and expected him to come and say good bye to me, but he didnt. I put the box with all of my things down and yelled again. No answer. I was standing in the hall on my way to Franks place, cause today was the official day of me moving in with him and the box that I had was the last one, the rest was at Franks.
"Mikey!"
I knew that he was home, cause I'd seen him just a few minutes ago, but why the hell is he ignoring me?
"MICHEAL!"
"What the fuck is it, Gerard?!" he yelled as he opened his bedroom door to see what was going on. I noticed that he had his Ipod-earphones hanging around his neck "Oh, you're leaving"
He smiled apologizingly and made a gesture towards the earphones.
"Didnt hear ya"
"I know" I said and hugged him. "I'm gonna miss you"
"I'm gonna miss you too... This is the first time in our lives that we're not gonna live together"
"Yeah, it will be weird not having you around all the time" I said and smiled. "You know that I would never have left you if Annie wouldnt have said yes when you asked her, right?"
"I know, Gee. And the truth is that I wouldnt have let you leave either" he laughed and I started digging around in my pocket to find my key.
"Here. Give this to Annie" I said and gave it to him, but he just shook his head.
"No, I want you to have a spare with you, we'll just make another one for Annie"
"You sure?"
"Of course. You want me to help you with that box?" he asked and pointed at it.
"No, it's fine. Frankie's waiting for me in the car and it's just two stairs"
He nodded and hugged me again.
"Bye"
"I'll see you later" I said and closed the door behind me with my foot. The box wasnt that heavy cause the only thing that was in it was some clothes. I didnt bring much with me anyway, I let Mikey have most of the junk.
Frank was standing, leaning against the car with a cigarette in his hands. He smiled when he saw me and opened the door for me to put in the box in the back seat.
"Cigarette, my mouth, now" I demanded and he took it to my lips. He started laughing when I pretended to have an orgasm just by inhaling the smoke, which made me laugh as well. I choked on the smoke and had to cough for several seconds until I finally could breathe again.
"You okay?" he said, still laughing.
"Yep yep, let's go" I said and jumped in to the car.
"Is that the only box you have?"
"Yep yep"
"Couldn't we have walked then?"
"Nope nope"
"Why? And stop repeating the words"
"Cause I didnt wanna walk... I've walked up and down those bloody stairs all day" I said and quietly repeated the word `day´, but loud enough for him to hear it. He gave me a weird look and started the car.
"Okay sorry, I'll stop being annoying" I laughed and leaned over to kiss him.
"Geraaaard" he said slowly. "I'm driving"
"Phf" I snorted and sat back down on my seat. He glanced at me, then suddenly stopped the car, climbed over to me and straddled me.
"And now Im not driving"
I put on hand on the back of his neck and pushed his head closer to me and kissed him. He smiled and we made out for a few minutes until something hit the car window.
We both turned to look at it, him still on top of me in the car seat, but didnt see anything.
"Spooky" Frank stated. "I bet that was Gods sign for us to start driving again"
"Or maybe it was a pigeon"
"Shut up, it was God" he said and climbed over to his seat and started the car.
"How do you know God's not a pigeon?" I asked, enjoying the view of having his ass close to my face as he did so.
"Cause if he was, he could be killed... And God cant die" he said matter of factly.
"But-"
"Just... Dont" he said and laughed. "Let's just say that it was a pigeon, aight?"
"Mhm" I said in agreement and he parked the car. "That went fast"
"I told you we could've walked"
I carried the box to his door and walked in. His apartment looked the same, but still it felt like a completely new place for me. This was my new home.
"What are you thinking about?" Frank asked and walked passed me. "You've got a very nostalgic sort of face"
"Nothing" I said and grabbed the box. "Where should I put this?"
"Wherever you want"
"Great, cause then I'll let it stay here... My back's killing me"
"How many boxes have you carried today?"
"Uh... I'm not gonna tell you, cause you'll laugh"
"Let me guess... Five?"
"No, three" I muttered. "But it was up and down the stairs and-"
"You dont need to convince me, I belive you when you say that it was hard. I guess you're kinda weak"
"Im not weak!"
"Okay, you're very strong, happy?"
"How come you always let me win our stupid fights?" I laughed.
"I dont know, chubby... It just happens"
"Don't call me chubby, you little gnome" I said and poked him in the chest. "You dont want me to get all anorectic again, huh?"
"Don't joke about that, it scared the shit outta me" he said and walked into the kitchen.
"Really? You seemed kinda calm" I said and followed him.
"Flashback, Gerard. I was the one who overreacted, telling you how thin you were unlike me, who were normal"
"You didnt overreact, that was what made me realize the shit I was in" I said and smiled shyly. "I was so in love with you when that happend"
"Doesnt it bother you that we could've been together if one of us would've had the courage to tell the other?" he asked and stood infront of me with his hands on my shoulders.
"Yeah it does... We had so many chances"
"We had?"
"Well, I had"
"When?"
"Remember when we were on tour and we'd had a fight about you helping me when I'd burned my hands?"
He nodded.
"When the guys were gone, you sat down in my lap and hugged me and you did some stuff that turned me on"
"Oh, when I rubbed my ass against you?"
"Was that on purpose?!"
"Of course it was, you dont rub yourself against your best friend like that without knowing it" he said and laughed at my surprised face.
"You're a dirty boy, Iero"
"I know... And if my memory's correct, I remember some weird noices from the shower"
"Yes, the result of your rubbing"
"I knew it! I heard you moan something that sounded like Frankie, but I didnt know... And it kinda freaked me out cause it could've just as easily have been Mikey"
"Ah, Bob's stupid idea about incest between Mikey and me... Ew my god, disgusting pictures in my head! Save me!" I said and buried my head in his neck. He laughed and patted me on the back before he grabbed my arms and pulled me away from him.
"Hey, you know what?" he asked, sounding very excited.
"No?"
"I love you"
"I love you too"
I giggled as he bit my bottom lip gently, inviting me to kiss him. I did, but we were interrupted by the door bell.
"Dammit" he muttered and went to open. I stayed in the kitchen but when I heard Lisas voice I just had to walk out to him in the hall.
"Oh, you're here" she stated when she saw me. Frank wiped his mouth excessively much to make Lisa know that we'd been kissing. She looked at him and then back at me.
"Nice boner, Gerard" she said sarcasticly and glared at me.
"Thank you. Your ex boyfriend did it." I said back with a smirk.
"Or maybe you've been out, fucking someone elses boyfriend?"
"At least it wasnt yours... Bet you dont even have one, huh?"
"That's none of your fucking business"
"Why do you hate me all of a sudden? When you were dating Frankie you did at least pretend to like me"
"I dont think you're the person to judge me, Gerard. You didnt exactly love me when I was with Frank"
"I wonder why"
"Me too, you had no reason to dislike me"
"True. That doesnt change anything though, I still didnt like you"
She rolled her eyes and got back to look at Frank.
"So what do you say?"
"Say about what?" I asked.
"She wants to talk to me outside" he explained.
"Well, go. Don't leave the lovely lady waiting" I said and turned my back to them.
"When those words are coming from your mouth, I take it as a insult" she spat out at me.
"Like I meant it to be a compliment..." I said sarcasticly and turned to look at her. "What do you want from Frank?"
"Once again, that's none of your buisness, fag"
"What did you call me?"
"Look, I'm not here to fight, I just wanna talk to Frank" she said and I could hear that her voice was starting to shake a little, probably of fear that I would throw myself at her.
"It doesnt look like he's gonna talk to you so why dont you just leave?" I said and looked at Frank for the first time since she arrived. He was standing between us, just looking at us like we were insane.
"Don't talk for him, he has a mind of his own" Lisa snarled.
"This reminds me of the time when you dumped him and I had to follow him to your house to get his stuff... He didnt wanna talk to you back then either so why would he wanna do it know?"
"Cause things have changed"
"Yeah, like the fact that he's with me now instead-"
"Okay, Im starting to feel like a kid with divorced parents... Can you two shut the fuck up?!" Frank exclaimed and threw up his arms to make us understand that he was serious. "I'll give you three minutes, Lisa, and then I want you out of here"
"Thank you" she said and smiled at him but it quickly faded when she saw my face. "What the hell are you smirking about?"
"Cause you're weird" I explained calmly.
"Gerard..." Frank whined.
"But she is"
"What makes me weird?" she asked with her eyebrow raised.
"You dumped him! He's over you! And still, here you are, standing on his doorstep, begging him to talk to you. That's pathetic, Lisa" I said, not intending on showing her any mercy of my thoughts.
"How do you know that he's over me? Huh? You dont know... Every time he kisses you it might be me he's thinking about. Never thought about that?"
"I'm standing right here!" Frank yelled, making us both jump. "Gerard, give us three minutes, kay?"
I nodded, but Lisa started shaking her head.
"No, he's not leaving. We are" she said and dragged Frank out the door and closed it. I sighed, suddenly very bored and walked back into the kitchen and sat down. Three minutes later Frank still hadnt come back. I waited for two more minutes before I walked out in the hall and opened the door.
"I told you he would come" Frank said and grinned at Lisa, who had a disappointed look upon her face.
"This means that he doesnt trust you" Lisa explained and I looked at them both confused.
"Who doesnt trust who?" I asked.
"You dont trust your beloved boyfriend" Lisa said and smirked.
"That's where you're wrong. I was worried that some maniac, that'll be you, had kidnapped him"
"You're calling me a maniac?"
"Are you calling me a fag?"
"And now I know the answer to my question, thank you" she said and turned to Frank. "So no is your final answer?"
"Yes, for fuck's sake! Just disappear and leave us alone" he muttered and walked up to me. He put my arm over his shoulder and I kissed his neck just to piss Lisa off and to my surprise, she got tears in here eyes before she ran away.
"I dont like her... at all"
"You dont say" Frank said and laughed. "I couldnt tell"
"What were you talking about?"
"She said that she wanted me back" he said calmly and I choked on my own saliva.
"What?!"
"And she asked me if there was any chance that I'll take her back"
"And you said no?"
"No" he said and smiled. "I laughed her in the face"
"That's my boy..." I said and hugged him. "But if she'll come over here again, I'll knock her out"
"And I wont stop you"
"Promise?"
"Were you serious?"
"About knocking her out, yes"
"Gerard..." he sighed and put his forehead against mine. "Leave her alone"
"If she leaves us alone"
"Do you have to be competitve about this?"
"I'm not being competitive, I'm being sick of her running around, trying to win you back"
"She never will, so just drop it" he demanded and kissed me.
"Mikes, I'm leaving!" I yelled and expected him to come and say good bye to me, but he didnt. I put the box with all of my things down and yelled again. No answer. I was standing in the hall on my way to Franks place, cause today was the official day of me moving in with him and the box that I had was the last one, the rest was at Franks.
"Mikey!"
I knew that he was home, cause I'd seen him just a few minutes ago, but why the hell is he ignoring me?
"MICHEAL!"
"What the fuck is it, Gerard?!" he yelled as he opened his bedroom door to see what was going on. I noticed that he had his Ipod-earphones hanging around his neck "Oh, you're leaving"
He smiled apologizingly and made a gesture towards the earphones.
"Didnt hear ya"
"I know" I said and hugged him. "I'm gonna miss you"
"I'm gonna miss you too... This is the first time in our lives that we're not gonna live together"
"Yeah, it will be weird not having you around all the time" I said and smiled. "You know that I would never have left you if Annie wouldnt have said yes when you asked her, right?"
"I know, Gee. And the truth is that I wouldnt have let you leave either" he laughed and I started digging around in my pocket to find my key.
"Here. Give this to Annie" I said and gave it to him, but he just shook his head.
"No, I want you to have a spare with you, we'll just make another one for Annie"
"You sure?"
"Of course. You want me to help you with that box?" he asked and pointed at it.
"No, it's fine. Frankie's waiting for me in the car and it's just two stairs"
He nodded and hugged me again.
"Bye"
"I'll see you later" I said and closed the door behind me with my foot. The box wasnt that heavy cause the only thing that was in it was some clothes. I didnt bring much with me anyway, I let Mikey have most of the junk.
Frank was standing, leaning against the car with a cigarette in his hands. He smiled when he saw me and opened the door for me to put in the box in the back seat.
"Cigarette, my mouth, now" I demanded and he took it to my lips. He started laughing when I pretended to have an orgasm just by inhaling the smoke, which made me laugh as well. I choked on the smoke and had to cough for several seconds until I finally could breathe again.
"You okay?" he said, still laughing.
"Yep yep, let's go" I said and jumped in to the car.
"Is that the only box you have?"
"Yep yep"
"Couldn't we have walked then?"
"Nope nope"
"Why? And stop repeating the words"
"Cause I didnt wanna walk... I've walked up and down those bloody stairs all day" I said and quietly repeated the word `day´, but loud enough for him to hear it. He gave me a weird look and started the car.
"Okay sorry, I'll stop being annoying" I laughed and leaned over to kiss him.
"Geraaaard" he said slowly. "I'm driving"
"Phf" I snorted and sat back down on my seat. He glanced at me, then suddenly stopped the car, climbed over to me and straddled me.
"And now Im not driving"
I put on hand on the back of his neck and pushed his head closer to me and kissed him. He smiled and we made out for a few minutes until something hit the car window.
We both turned to look at it, him still on top of me in the car seat, but didnt see anything.
"Spooky" Frank stated. "I bet that was Gods sign for us to start driving again"
"Or maybe it was a pigeon"
"Shut up, it was God" he said and climbed over to his seat and started the car.
"How do you know God's not a pigeon?" I asked, enjoying the view of having his ass close to my face as he did so.
"Cause if he was, he could be killed... And God cant die" he said matter of factly.
"But-"
"Just... Dont" he said and laughed. "Let's just say that it was a pigeon, aight?"
"Mhm" I said in agreement and he parked the car. "That went fast"
"I told you we could've walked"
I carried the box to his door and walked in. His apartment looked the same, but still it felt like a completely new place for me. This was my new home.
"What are you thinking about?" Frank asked and walked passed me. "You've got a very nostalgic sort of face"
"Nothing" I said and grabbed the box. "Where should I put this?"
"Wherever you want"
"Great, cause then I'll let it stay here... My back's killing me"
"How many boxes have you carried today?"
"Uh... I'm not gonna tell you, cause you'll laugh"
"Let me guess... Five?"
"No, three" I muttered. "But it was up and down the stairs and-"
"You dont need to convince me, I belive you when you say that it was hard. I guess you're kinda weak"
"Im not weak!"
"Okay, you're very strong, happy?"
"How come you always let me win our stupid fights?" I laughed.
"I dont know, chubby... It just happens"
"Don't call me chubby, you little gnome" I said and poked him in the chest. "You dont want me to get all anorectic again, huh?"
"Don't joke about that, it scared the shit outta me" he said and walked into the kitchen.
"Really? You seemed kinda calm" I said and followed him.
"Flashback, Gerard. I was the one who overreacted, telling you how thin you were unlike me, who were normal"
"You didnt overreact, that was what made me realize the shit I was in" I said and smiled shyly. "I was so in love with you when that happend"
"Doesnt it bother you that we could've been together if one of us would've had the courage to tell the other?" he asked and stood infront of me with his hands on my shoulders.
"Yeah it does... We had so many chances"
"We had?"
"Well, I had"
"When?"
"Remember when we were on tour and we'd had a fight about you helping me when I'd burned my hands?"
He nodded.
"When the guys were gone, you sat down in my lap and hugged me and you did some stuff that turned me on"
"Oh, when I rubbed my ass against you?"
"Was that on purpose?!"
"Of course it was, you dont rub yourself against your best friend like that without knowing it" he said and laughed at my surprised face.
"You're a dirty boy, Iero"
"I know... And if my memory's correct, I remember some weird noices from the shower"
"Yes, the result of your rubbing"
"I knew it! I heard you moan something that sounded like Frankie, but I didnt know... And it kinda freaked me out cause it could've just as easily have been Mikey"
"Ah, Bob's stupid idea about incest between Mikey and me... Ew my god, disgusting pictures in my head! Save me!" I said and buried my head in his neck. He laughed and patted me on the back before he grabbed my arms and pulled me away from him.
"Hey, you know what?" he asked, sounding very excited.
"No?"
"I love you"
"I love you too"
I giggled as he bit my bottom lip gently, inviting me to kiss him. I did, but we were interrupted by the door bell.
"Dammit" he muttered and went to open. I stayed in the kitchen but when I heard Lisas voice I just had to walk out to him in the hall.
"Oh, you're here" she stated when she saw me. Frank wiped his mouth excessively much to make Lisa know that we'd been kissing. She looked at him and then back at me.
"Nice boner, Gerard" she said sarcasticly and glared at me.
"Thank you. Your ex boyfriend did it." I said back with a smirk.
"Or maybe you've been out, fucking someone elses boyfriend?"
"At least it wasnt yours... Bet you dont even have one, huh?"
"That's none of your fucking business"
"Why do you hate me all of a sudden? When you were dating Frankie you did at least pretend to like me"
"I dont think you're the person to judge me, Gerard. You didnt exactly love me when I was with Frank"
"I wonder why"
"Me too, you had no reason to dislike me"
"True. That doesnt change anything though, I still didnt like you"
She rolled her eyes and got back to look at Frank.
"So what do you say?"
"Say about what?" I asked.
"She wants to talk to me outside" he explained.
"Well, go. Don't leave the lovely lady waiting" I said and turned my back to them.
"When those words are coming from your mouth, I take it as a insult" she spat out at me.
"Like I meant it to be a compliment..." I said sarcasticly and turned to look at her. "What do you want from Frank?"
"Once again, that's none of your buisness, fag"
"What did you call me?"
"Look, I'm not here to fight, I just wanna talk to Frank" she said and I could hear that her voice was starting to shake a little, probably of fear that I would throw myself at her.
"It doesnt look like he's gonna talk to you so why dont you just leave?" I said and looked at Frank for the first time since she arrived. He was standing between us, just looking at us like we were insane.
"Don't talk for him, he has a mind of his own" Lisa snarled.
"This reminds me of the time when you dumped him and I had to follow him to your house to get his stuff... He didnt wanna talk to you back then either so why would he wanna do it know?"
"Cause things have changed"
"Yeah, like the fact that he's with me now instead-"
"Okay, Im starting to feel like a kid with divorced parents... Can you two shut the fuck up?!" Frank exclaimed and threw up his arms to make us understand that he was serious. "I'll give you three minutes, Lisa, and then I want you out of here"
"Thank you" she said and smiled at him but it quickly faded when she saw my face. "What the hell are you smirking about?"
"Cause you're weird" I explained calmly.
"Gerard..." Frank whined.
"But she is"
"What makes me weird?" she asked with her eyebrow raised.
"You dumped him! He's over you! And still, here you are, standing on his doorstep, begging him to talk to you. That's pathetic, Lisa" I said, not intending on showing her any mercy of my thoughts.
"How do you know that he's over me? Huh? You dont know... Every time he kisses you it might be me he's thinking about. Never thought about that?"
"I'm standing right here!" Frank yelled, making us both jump. "Gerard, give us three minutes, kay?"
I nodded, but Lisa started shaking her head.
"No, he's not leaving. We are" she said and dragged Frank out the door and closed it. I sighed, suddenly very bored and walked back into the kitchen and sat down. Three minutes later Frank still hadnt come back. I waited for two more minutes before I walked out in the hall and opened the door.
"I told you he would come" Frank said and grinned at Lisa, who had a disappointed look upon her face.
"This means that he doesnt trust you" Lisa explained and I looked at them both confused.
"Who doesnt trust who?" I asked.
"You dont trust your beloved boyfriend" Lisa said and smirked.
"That's where you're wrong. I was worried that some maniac, that'll be you, had kidnapped him"
"You're calling me a maniac?"
"Are you calling me a fag?"
"And now I know the answer to my question, thank you" she said and turned to Frank. "So no is your final answer?"
"Yes, for fuck's sake! Just disappear and leave us alone" he muttered and walked up to me. He put my arm over his shoulder and I kissed his neck just to piss Lisa off and to my surprise, she got tears in here eyes before she ran away.
"I dont like her... at all"
"You dont say" Frank said and laughed. "I couldnt tell"
"What were you talking about?"
"She said that she wanted me back" he said calmly and I choked on my own saliva.
"What?!"
"And she asked me if there was any chance that I'll take her back"
"And you said no?"
"No" he said and smiled. "I laughed her in the face"
"That's my boy..." I said and hugged him. "But if she'll come over here again, I'll knock her out"
"And I wont stop you"
"Promise?"
"Were you serious?"
"About knocking her out, yes"
"Gerard..." he sighed and put his forehead against mine. "Leave her alone"
"If she leaves us alone"
"Do you have to be competitve about this?"
"I'm not being competitive, I'm being sick of her running around, trying to win you back"
"She never will, so just drop it" he demanded and kissed me.