Sad, Beautiful, Tragic

Madison sat on the worn in familiar couch, the spot that she had officially claimed as her own. The four boys she had grown fond of stood in their own designated spots running through their set-list for their first summer show. They had been working incredibly hard to perfect their sound, advertise the show, and learn a few new songs for the upcoming weekend. They had been so focused on the show that Madison began to blend in with the background through it all. She tried her hardest to shrug it off because she knew how important the show was to the boys and especially Alex, so even when she felt neglected, she opted to keep it to herself. She silently listened as Jack and Alex bickered about chord progressions and Rian mindlessly air drummed a beat in his head. It wasn’t until a tissue was being thrust to her face that she paid any real attention.

“Your nose is bleeding…” Zack noted, still holding the tissue to her nostrils. Madison gently took the tissue from her nose, pulling it back to see the white material stained red.

“So it seems” she nodded her head, quickly placing the tissue back before the blood ran down. Zack stared at her in concern, silently asking if she was okay, if nosebleeds were normal for her. Madison wordlessly stood up and made her way upstairs to the bathroom with Zack hot on her trail. The other three boys were still oblivious to the world around them, not taking notice to their missing band member or their one membered audience. Madison closed the bathroom door as Zack grabbed an extra roll of toilet paper from the cabinet above the toilet. He unraveled a decent amount and handed it over to Madison, whom was sitting atop the counter with her head tilted back. She muttered thanks and pressed the toilet paper to her nose.

“Are you okay?” Zack asked worriedly, a hand gently squeezing Madison’s shoulder lightly. Madison met his concerned hazel eyes with her pained green ones.

“I don’t feel well” she weakly admitted. A frown settled upon Zack’s normally calm face.

“Why didn’t you say something?”

Madison looked away from his worried stare and half-heartedly shrugged her shoulders “You guys need to be focused, I didn’t want to be a bother” she admitted quietly, her demeanor reminding Zack of an innocent child that was being reprimanded.

“Oh, Madison” Zack sighed taking her right hand and holding it gently between both of his hands, “we never stop worrying about you, ya know? You are our number one priority, always…please don’t ever for one second think you are a bother to us.” He said sincerely.

“I’m sorry” she whispered an apology, not because she didn’t say anything earlier but because she felt an immense guilt settle into her stomach at Zack’s words. She felt guilty that a group of seventeen year old boys were constantly worried about her. She carried a weight on her shoulders that told her she would only hold them back. In the long run she knew they didn’t need her, she knew that it was her that needed them and with the utmost certainty she knew that she would be entirely too selfish to ever let them go even if that’s what she knew would be best for them. She didn’t want them to spend their time worrying about her because it was without a chance that she would die young no matter what.

“I have to vomit” Madison suddenly hopped off of the counter and haphazardly pushed Zack out of the way before dropping to her knees and spewing into the toilet bowl. Tears began to sting the back of her eyes as nothing but stomach acid was released from her body. Zack immediately pulled her hair back with one hand and began soothingly rubbing his other hand up and down her back until she slumped forward, resting her head on the edge of her arm.

“Zack” she desperately cried out. Zack silently pulled her to his body allowing her to crawl into his lap. Madison tucked her head into the crook oh his neck and Zack ran a hand through her hair. “shhh…” he hushed Madison’s cries though he was holding in his own as he felt the loose strands of hair tangle between his fingers, a sure sign that the disease was only getting worse.

“How long?” Zack finally built up the courage to ask, his lips trembling as Madison ignored his question and instead tightened her grip on his torso.

“I---I just didn’t want to be a bother. You all have been so excited for this gig….I c-couldn’t…” Madison brokenly trailed off and even though she knew it was a petty thing to ignore the real question, Zack somehow still understood perfectly.

“oh, sweetheart” he pressed his lips to the top of her head in a brotherly kiss before they were interrupted with an obnoxious knock to the locked bathroom door.

“uh…I’m in here” Zack called out.

“Dude! We’ve been waiting for like twenty minutes, are you taking a shit?” Alex yelled through the door, laughing at his friends expense.

“Uh…yeah, man. That Chinese I had last night didn’t settle right, I’ll be out in a minute” Zack lied hoping that would be enough to deter the nosy lead singer.

“Yo, have you seen Madi?” Alex asked through the door. “

Yeah man, her mom called her home, why?” Zack lied once again, his eyes quickly darting to Madison’s face but she was staring directly at the door waiting for Alex’s response. “It’s just…” Alex loudly exhaled

“It’s stupid…but she didn’t even say bye to me” Alex admitted, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as the words left his mouth even though Zack couldn’t see him.

“Oh, sorry man” Zack awkwardly replied.

Madison bit her lip at the sound of her dejected boyfriend and she felt an even heavier guilt settle into her gut.

“Thanks” Madison whispered to Zack when she heard Alex retreat from the door.

Zack shrugged indifferently, “I figured you didn’t want him to see you like this. Anyways, wait ‘til I leave then take the backdoor, Alex will probably be over to yours after practice.” Zack instructed before giving her a hug and rushing back down to the basement. Madison stayed in the bathroom until she heard the familiar sound of ‘The Party Scene’ fill the house. She hastily navigated through the house and out the backdoor, quickly sprinting to her own house and up to her bedroom where she collapsed onto the twin sized bed. She cocooned herself into the sandy colored blanket and allowed herself the rest her body so desperately craved.

It seemed like only mere minutes before Madison was being waked up by feather light kisses on her lips. She sleepily opened her eyes and smiled at the bashful boy hovering over her.

“Hey, sleeping beauty” Alex whispered, briefly slotting their lips together in a sweet embrace.

“Hey, you” Madison greeted in return as Alex pulled back. Alex smoothly crawled behind Madison, effortlessly maneuvering underneath the blanket and pulling her body to his. He loosely wrapped his arms around her body and kissed her cheek, “you pulled a disappearing act on me” Alex pouted with large doe eyes for added effect.

“Sorry---I just---I” Madison stammered, a pink blush covering her cheeks at the realization that lying to Alex wasn’t as easy as it had once been. Though that was mostly because lying to Alex was something she never wanted to have to do.

​“You don’t have to explain yourself to me” Alex reassured her, “I just missed you is all” he kissed the side of her neck. Madison turned in his arms so that she was facing him. Her cold, delicate fingers trailed across his cheek and down his jaw bone “will you stay?” She asked shyly. “Always” Alex whispered against her lips, pressing for a quick kiss and allowing her to cuddle into his side.