Sad, Beautiful, Tragic

Alex pulled out of the hospital parking lot his mind a whirlwind of thoughts that he just couldn’t seem to put together. He didn’t know how to handle all of it, he was only seventeen and he was dealing with what he had dubbed to be “grown up things.” He wasn’t sure if he could even bare to watch his girlfriend deteriorate day by day until her time finally comes. His mind was racing and he began to panic as he thought about how substantial the situation actually was. He wasn’t supposed to be worrying and stressing all summer. No, he was supposed to be jamming with his best friends and playing gigs in sketchy music halls.
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“You missed the exit…” Madison mused, stealing a glance at Alex as she had previously spent the whole ride idly staring at the passing cars.
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Alex clicked the turn signal on and transitioned to the right lane to take the next exit back into town. His hands gripped the steering wheel with everything he had, his knuckles turning ivory through his sun kissed skin. He snuck a guilty glance at Madison as he turned right off of the exit ramp.

​​​“I don’t think I can do this” he blurted out without restraint, his eyes refusing to leave the road but his peripheral vision clearly picked up that Madison had turned towards him on her seat waiting for him to elaborate even though both of them knew where he was going with his outburst. However, as the car stayed silent, Madison came to realize that he wasn’t going to elaborate so she turned back towards the window and took a deep breath.

​​​“Ya know, this whole time I thought it was going to be me that was going to hurt you but it has been you that has been hurting me time and time again. You knew what you were getting into but it’s okay, I understand.” Madison all but sobbed out, her voice wavering despite her efforts to stand strong.

​​​“Madi, please….no..I—“Madison held up her hand to shut him up.

​​​“Please, just stop the car” Madison spoke calmly. Alex turned on the hazard lights and pulled to the side of the road where Madison slipped off her seat belt.
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“Madison, stop! It’s like a three mile walk back to your house and this is your car” Alex attempted to reason but Madison had her mindset on not being in the same vicinity as Alex. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, like she was suffocating and she desperately needed her space.

​​​“Madison…” Alex grabbed her wrist as she began getting out of the car but she abruptly yanked it from his grasp.

​​​“Alex, I can’t be around you right now. Just drive my car home, park it in the driveway and leave the keys in the front seat.”

​​​“Mads, please!” Alex begged guilt and regret coursing through his veins. He didn’t mean it. He just wanted to take it back. He had a moment of selfishness and he let it get the best of him but now he wanted to take it all back. He wanted to rewind time and stop those stupid words from ever leaving his mouth. He wanted to hold Madison’s hand and take her home and tell her everything would be okay, that everything would work out even if he wasn’t so sure that it would. He wanted to tell her that he loves her.

​​​“Please, just leave me alone” Madison besought, her voice cracking with more emotion than she thought possible. She knew it shouldn’t have been a surprise, really. She regretted ever opening her window that fateful night but even more so, she regretted ever falling for Alex.

​​​“Okay, okay” Alex dejectedly allowed Madison to close the passenger side door and pulled back onto the road leaving Madison standing in the grass watching him leave as he watched her in the rear view mirror, his own heart breaking as he saw her wipe the tears from her face.
Madison reached into her pocket for her phone only to find all of her pockets empty and only then did she remember carelessly plunking her phone into the car cup holder.

​​​“Of course” she humorlessly laughed at her luck and began making the long walk home. She ignored the honking cars and hollering hormonal boys that drove past her mile by mile until she was finally at the entrance of her street. Her feet ached, her skin was painted in a sweaty film cover, and the sun had completely set by the time she got to her house.

​​​Her car was sat in the driveway and exactly as she had told Alex, the keys were placed in the driver’s seat. She opened the door and snatched her keys and phone out of the car before crossing the yard to her front door where she was surprised to find Rian sitting on the porch swing.

​​​“I heard Alex goofed up according to Jack, anyways…” Rian pulled himself up from the swing and met Madison at the door. She twisted the key into the lock and pushed the door open, stepping into the dark house with Rian following behind her.

​​​“You’re a good friend, Rian…but if you’re here to play messenger then the only message I have is that it’s okay. Alex did what was best for him and I’m not mad, I’d just prefer if we go our separate ways. You should also tell him that despite all of this, I know All Time Low is going places and…a-and I’m proud of him. I’m proud of all of you.”

​​​Rian pulled Madison into his body, wrapping his arms tightly around her “I’m here for you, silly and for the record we’re all proud of you too, ya know? You’re the strongest person that any of us have ever met. “

​​​Madison hugged her own arms around Rian’s neck as he continued to talk “he wanted to come and wait for you to come home but I told him to give you some space.”

​​​“Thanks, Ri.” Madison spoke into his neck. Madison felt him shrug his shoulders from underneath her arms, “he didn’t mean it, Mads. He was freaked out and let his thoughts run ahead of him. You guys aren’t meant to be over yet” Rian spoke truthfully in reassuring Madison that she wasn’t just some stupid fling for Alex.

​​​“I’ll be at the show Saturday” Madison replied, saying all that she needed to for Rian to know that if Alex got his head out of his ass that he would be able to untangle his messy web and fix things.
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