Pretty Little Wallflower

After much convincing Mike had finally made his way through the streets of San Diego. At first he refused to go out and look for Tony, he wasn’t the one who yelled at him so he saw no reason to be the one to seek him out. He had a short temper as it was, and it pissed him off that he had to be the bigger man. Tony had overreacted, that wasn’t his fault, he told himself, but Vic and Jaime kept telling him Tony didn’t mean it; “This isn’t Tony’s fault”, “he’s going through a rough time”, they said. So he decided to go out just to stop hearing them defend him.
After walking up and down streets and looking in every place Tony could possibly be in, he found himself in front of Lestat’s, the place Tony was always so obsessed with. He walked in, his eyes wandering over each face inside the coffee shop. He instantly found Tony, staring ahead of him with undivided attention. Mike followed his gaze, stopping short at a small and slender brunette taking orders.
“See something you like?” Mike smirked at Tony as he sat in front of him, abruptly breaking his attention.
“Hm? Oh, hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you, it was fucked up. I know you guys are just trying to help, it just sometimes doesn’t. I’m sorry.” Tony wondered to himself what it had taken for the guys to convince Mike to look for him. Mike had always been the first one to walk away during an argument, never taking responsibility for his actions or words. Granted, he was quick to accept an apology and didn’t hold a grudge long, but he rarely recognized his mistakes or apologized for them.
“It’s cool, just don’t let it happen again. I will kick your ass next time,” Tony smiled and nodded at his band mate’s words, glad that he hadn’t made a bigger deal out of their dispute.
“So who’s the girl?” Mike asked wiggling his eyebrows.
“No one, she just works her,” he tried to play off his feelings, not wanting to hear Mike tease him.
“Just a girl my ass, you were practically undressing her with your eyes. Spill, you damn turtle.”
Tony laughed, but it was out of apprehension. He hadn’t told anyone about this girl, he hadn’t talked to anybody about what was going on internally. He’d manage to keep how he was feeling to himself, and he was afraid of talking to Mike about it, because he could deny it to himself, but once someone else knew, it became real.
“Like I said, I don’t know her. She just works here.”
“If you don’t talk I’m going to go up to her and ask her out for you. 3, 2…1,” Mike began getting out of his chair.
“Alright, damn! I just know they call her Vi, she started working here not too long ago. I don’t really know much else.”
“You don’t even know her name? We’ve been here almost a month, you come in here almost every other day, and you haven’t even asked her for her name?”
“You don’t have to fucking rub it in, I know!” Tony rubbed his temples with the balls of his palms, beginning to feel annoyed by Mike’s presence.
“Alright, calm down. Why don’t you go ask her out or something? She’s cute,” Mike tried to tone down his abrasive behavior.
“I can’t.”
“Sure you can, just go and ask her. Just go up to her and say it.”
“No, I can’t.”
“Well then I’ll do it for you,” Mike smiled, trying to offer him an alternative. He had always known that Tony was on the shy side, but this was just ridiculous.
“No, it’s not that I’m incapable. I just…can’t,” Tony looked at Mike, but all he did was nod, waiting for him to continue, “She’s moving, I heard her talking to her boss, so there’s really no point.”
“A date’s a date, that doesn’t mean you have to marry her. Just get your mind off Stephanie.” Tony was beginning to get frustrated, Mike just didn’t understand.
“I don’t just want to use some girl to get over Stephanie, Mike. It’s just…I don’t know. I don’t want to have to go through any of this again. I feel like I’m in a weird place right now. Look at me Mike, I’m too fucking shy to even ask a girl for her name, how I even got with Stephanie is beyond me. I don’t know if I can put myself out there again. I want to stop being who I am, I wish I could stop being like this, I sound like a fucking chic. I guess I’m just scared, everything is so fucking hard. I don’t think I can—I don’t know if I can keep going on living like this. Or maybe living at all,” Tony whispered the last part, resting his elbows on the table with his hands behind his head.
Mike took a second to assess the situation, not really sure how to console his friend. He hadn’t realized how depressed Tony had become; it scared him a little. He wasn’t sure what he could say that could ease his pain. Mike rubbed his chin, taking a second to come up with something that wouldn’t come off offensive.
“I didn’t realize you felt this way,” A terrible start, mike thought to himself, “I know how hard break-ups are, I mean look how long I was single before Frenchi, I get it. But there’s more to all of this than just girls and dating. Something will come up, and you’ll be fine again.” He wasn’t sure if the words had come out right, but it was the best way he could articulate it.
“I’m not just going to be fine again. I feel like I’m a prisoner inside myself. I wish I could talk to people as easily as you or Jaime. Hell, even Vic is better at starting conversations than I am. And it’s not just that. I don’t know what else it is, but it’s not just that.”
“I’ll help you, we’ll all help you, but like I said, you have to be willing to talk to us. I didn’t know this is how you felt about things. I thought you were just being a bitch over Stephanie, and I didn’t think she was worth the sudden mood change.” Tony knew that Mike was only trying to help, but it annoyed him that he even tried. He treated him like he was depressed, but Tony just saw it as a phase.
“You’re right, thanks man. That means a lot,” Tony shot him a phony smile. Though he was glad he’d gotten a chance to talk to Mike about it, he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. No one would understand exactly how he felt, but just being able to release some pressure from the balloon filling up inside himself made him feel a little better.
“Enough girl talk, let’s go get ready to fuck up Warped.”