Remind Me

James lay on his back staring at the celling for what seemed like an eternity, deciding whether or not he should make his way downstairs. He got up out of bed and immediately felt nervous. He didn’t know how to act; it was going to be his first full day in this house full of children and a wife he didn’t know. Sure James liked kids but he was never the guy who was positive on having them, let alone four. Yet here he was with four children and wife that he knew nothing about.

“Well here I go, I guess.” He sighed

“No mommy I want the red one!” James heard shouting from the kitchen.

“Cam mommy already poured your cereal in the blue bowl” She tried to reason with her two year old.

“No red! Red! Red!” He shouted.

“Cam please use the blue bowl, for mommy?” She tried her hardest to get him to use the blue bowl.
Then Emmy started to cry.

“No!” He shouted again.

“Cam that’s enough! Now use the blue bowl or don’t eat!” She shouted back exhausted. Then Cam started to cry.

She didn’t mean to get angry with him but she was under so much stress, a dumb argument over a bowl set her off. She now had both Emmy and Cam in her arms crying.

“I’m sorry buddy I didn’t mean to yell at you.” She apologized.

“Nash will you please get me the red bowl.” She called out for her oldest child.

“I can get it.” She heard from the kitchen entrance. James had been standing there for a few minutes taking in all the chaos.

“Thanks.” She smiled setting Cam back down.

“Where is it?” James asked.

“Right, cupboard by the fridge.”

He went and got the bowl out of the cupboard, then the box of cereal on the counter.

“You can just dump the cereal from the blue bowl into the red one.” She advised.

“Right.” He smiled embarrassed. Even the small things he needed to learn. He placed the bowl in front of the two year old then went to pour himself a glass of orange juice.

“Thanks Daddy!” The boy smiled. James froze for a second not expecting that. He would have to get accustomed to being called Dad.

“You’re welcome buddy” He smiled back.

***
The day had progressed with a few bumps but thankfully James’ parents were there to help out, but soon enough they would be gone. In the next few days it would be just him, Kayli and the four kids.

It was late everybody was either in bed or getting ready for bed. He decided to stay downstairs and watch some television. About ten minutes into the show he was watching he heard crying and couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. He looked around the room until he saw the flashing baby monitor. He realized it was coming from Emmy’s room. Kayli was in the shower and his parents were sleeping, in that moment intuition took over and he made his way upstairs. He got in the room and panicked. He stood at the crib and stared at the crying baby in front of him. He finally picked her up but she didn’t stop.

“Please stop crying.” He spoke softly. No clue what to do in the situation. Emmy continued to cry.

“Emmy, its okay I’m here.” He tried to comfort her but she continued. He began to feel overwhelmed
and tears started to roll down his cheeks.

“James, is everything okay?” He heard his mother’s voice in the doorway. He turned towards her.

“No.” He cried.

“Oh James.” She walked over to him and grabbed Emmy from him. He wiped the tears off his face.

“She’s probably hungry.” She reassured. “Follow me.”

“Okay.” He began to follow here downstairs to the kitchen.

In the kitchen she handed James the still crying baby and went into the freezer. She grabbed a ziplock bag filled with other bags that had a white substance in it.

“If you ever need to feed her, go in the freezer grab one of these frozen breast milks from the bag turn on the hot water put some in a bowl, put the bag in and let it defrost. Then grab a bottle from here and once defrosted open the bag and pour it into the bottle.” She explained to him. What stuck out in James head was the fact that the small bags contained milk from Kayli’s breasts.

“Okay” He said awkwardly.

“Here.” She handed him the bottle. “Feed her upstairs, it’ll be easier that way.”

They made their way upstairs James got in the room, sat in the chair and began to feed her. She had a hard time taking the bottle at first but once she began taking it he felt more at ease.
Kayli stood at the door and stared at James feeding Emmy. I took her back to past times where James would get up, feed the baby and let her sleep. She looked on for a little longer until James met her gaze.

“Hi.” She smiled sheepishly

“Uh, she was crying…my mom helped me.” He looked uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” She walked in the room and sat on the foot rest. It was the opposite scenario of last night. “I’m glad you’re already trying James, I know this isn’t easy, especially with children.”

“I want to do my best to remember everything, from the exact day where is everything missing to the day of the accident that I can’t remember. I am missing this whole 10 year chunk of information. I want to remember, not only of this family, but my teammates and world events. Mostly about us and our family though.” He sighed it just wasn’t far to anyone and most of all it wasn’t fair to his family.

“We’ll get there one day but let’s focus on trying things that may help you remember. The doctor said familiar smells can help, special places, maybe even a certain mannerism in someone familiar.” She tried to help.

“Yes I guess this is all a process.”