Disasterology

I sat on the bathroom floor, speechless, tears falling onto the floor.

It was coming back, full force…all of these memories…all of these mixed feelings…

If I sit here any longer, I think I’m gonna go insane…!

But…I don’t want to face Vic right now…

He stopped knocking on the door so it’s a start. I heard the front door open and close.

He must have left…

I opened the door slowly and looked around. Yeah…he’s gone.

I left the bathroom and walked into the bedroom.

There was a dent in the wall near one of the pictures.

He had hit the wall.

I lay on the bed and pulled Mr. Stuffykins into my arms.

“It seems like you’re the only thing that’s not hurting me or driving me insane…”

I snuggled closer to him and closed my eyes.

* “Granny…?” “Yes, Kellin?”

We were both in the kitchen, making cookies for her friend’s Christmas party.

“Why do Mommy and Daddy hate me…?”

She looked at me, sadness apparent in her features. “What made you ask that, sweetie?”

I bit down on my lip and hugged Mr. Stuffykins tighter in my arms. “B-because they fight… Daddy yells a lot at me and Mommy hits me…she also tried to take Mr. Stuffykins away…”

“They don’t hate you, sweetie. They just don’t know how to show their love and they really don’t know how to raise a child. You’re only six, Kellin. You’re still too young to understand.”

“B-but…you always talk about how I’m a big boy and stuffs like that…!” I poked out my bottom lip.

She smiled and gave me a small pat on the head.

“When you’re older, you’ll understand. Until then, why don’t you sing that little song you love so much and help me put these cookies in the oven?”

I smiled back and nodded. “Okay~!” *

* “Why the hell do you still have that thing?!” Mommy reached for Mr. Stuffykins, but I snatched it away from her just in time. “No wonder your father left. You’re such a weakling and a worthless screw up. You were a mistake. A one night stand mistake.” She took a drag from her cigarette and blew the smoke in my face.

“You’re even a burden on your own grandmother.” My eyes widened.

“What…?” “Didn’t you ever consider how she felt about taking care of your ass every time you went crying to her? She doesn’t have much to live for, the least you can do is give her more trouble.”

A couple of tears ran down my cheek.

She got up from the couch and pushed past me.

“Why don’t you do us all a damn favor and jump off of a bridge?”

-------

“Those were her last words?” “Yes, right before her lungs collapsed while she was in the bathtub. I always knew all those cigarettes would be her demise.” “That’s such a horrible thing to say to a child. How old is little Kellin now?” “He’s nine years old now, I think.”

I kicked my legs back and forth and hummed quietly as I sat on the bench, holding Mr. Stuffykins in my arms.

They said that Mom was going to be asleep for a long time.

I guess it makes sense…she did look really tired most of the time…

“Kellin, sweetie?”

I looked up and saw Granny smiling sadly at me.

“I have some good news. You’re coming to live with me now.” “R-Really…?!” She nodded.

I started to smile, but then Mom’s words played through my head.

“I…I don’t want to be a burden, Granny…”

“Stop talking about such nonsense that came from your mother’s own mouth! I’ll be more than happy for you to be able to stay with me.” She held out her hand towards me and smiled again.

I took her hand in mine and walked back home with her. *

* “Grandma, look! I got accepted!”

I sat next to her on the couch and handed her my collage acceptance letter after she put her glasses on.

She read in silence, a huge smile plastered on her face.

“This is amazing, Kellin! I’m so proud of you!” She hugged me tightly and kissed me on the cheek.

“So, I guess I won’t be seeing you for a while. You’ll be staying at a dorm for that year, right?”

“Actually, I’m staying with my boyfriend. So I’ll be able to visit you every weekend.”

She sighed.

“I warn you every day about that guy, Kellin. He’s a very troubling character in my eyes. I never seen someone with that many tattoos before…” I chuckled slightly.

“He’s just a little misunderstood, that’s all.”

“Well, as long as he makes you happy.” She smiled at me and patted my head.

“Thanks, Grandma.”

“Now, how about we make some cookies? Like the good old days?” *

I opened my eyes and stared at the wall. A small smile tugged on my face.

I remembered Grandma…

But…who was my boyfriend…?

I was only Vic’s boyfriend for five years…

There was someone else before him?