Disasterology

It’s…it’s kind of hard to explain how I feel right now…

My mind was so empty when I woke up in the hospital. I didn’t know anyone…not even myself…
I can’t remember the life that I led…I can’t even remember my friends and my…boyfriend…

Boyfriend…?

My thoughts were interrupted when the car parked at a café. Andy dashed out of the car before I could say anything. “Sorry…Andy just had to have his Mocha fix!” I chuckled and nodded in understanding.
We both got out of the car and went inside. Andy was already ordering what he wanted.

“At least wait for me…!” Vic whined. It was kind of cute. “I’ll get Strawberry Bubble Tea.” He then turned to me. “Do you want anything?”

“I…um…”

Then, something in my brain just…clicked.

“I’ll get Mint Chocolate Bubble Tea.”

His eyes widened. “You remembered your favorite drink here…”
The shock didn’t hit me until a couple of seconds later. “I…I did…?” He smiled slightly and nodded.

That smile…

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. He’s really my boyfriend…?

“Kellin…you okay?” I nodded. “Sorry…I zoned out for a moment.” “It’s okay.” He handed me my drink as we walked back to the car. I took a quick sip, then smiled.

Thank you, brain.
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It’s so weird…
Vic said that we lived in this house together for five years…but…I don’t remember anything of it…

I groaned and tugged at my hair.

This is so frickin’ frustrating!!!

I walked into “our” room and saw the pictures on the dresser.
Some were of me with Vic, Andy, and some other guys who I didn’t recognize.
Another picture was of me and Vic kissing.

I must have really loved him…

Do…do I still love him…?

“Kellin?”
Vic stood in the doorway, and all of a sudden, I felt guilty…
Wait…why do I feel guilty…?

“It’s time to change your bandages.” I nodded and followed him into the bathroom.

I sat on the edge of the sink as he pulled out some gauze, ointment, and a pair of scissors from the cabinet.
I watched quietly as he removed the bandages from my arms, revealing the scars on my skin.

There was guilt and hurt hidden in his eyes.

What…what am I supposed to do…?

He wrapped my arms with fresh bandages.
“I have to change the ones around your stomach too, Kell…”

I didn’t even know I had an injury there until I lifted my shirt up to see. He put his hands on my sides and started removing that bandage. I squirmed a little under his touch.
It felt so weird…and I didn’t really like it…

“S-sorry…” He finished bandaging my injuries and put the stuff back in the cabinet.
“Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes.”

He kissed my forehead and left the bathroom.

I don’t know if I can get used to this….
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It’s eleven o’clock at night. Of course I was tired. I was stuck restless in a hospital for two days.
I walked into the room and stripped down to my boxers before I climbed into bed.

I looked at the old teddy bear sitting beside me on the bed. I touched it and my eyes shut closed.

I was laughing with someone…holding the bear in my arms.

My eyes shot open again. I pulled the bear into my arms and allowed a small tear to escape.

Mr. Stuffykins…how could I have forgotten about you…?

I heard footsteps and I shut my eyes again, pretending to be asleep.

“Kellin…? Are you awake…?”

It was Vic.
I didn’t respond.

The footsteps neared closer. He kissed my cheek and petted my hair gently.

“I love you…sweet dreams…” He left the room and I heard him close the door.

Why don’t I feel the same…?! I loved him, didn’t I…?
Why don’t I still love him now…?

I guess I can’t really love a stranger, can I?