Losing Him Was Blue!

Three Weeks Later

“Calm down Loosh,” I grumbled, pulling my coat closer to my frame as I pushed the stroller through Glasgow Park in Philadelphia.

I was a dumbass… I forgot to put gas in my car, so I had to walk to the 7-11 down a few blocks away from Claude’s and get gas before Claude got home which wouldn’t be until later on, he was coming back from a game in Columbus.

We had made plans to go out for dinner and we were taking my car tonight. Lucia was freaking over the snow gracefully falling from the sky and landing on her face. “It’s just snow, it’s not going to bite you,”

I seen a figure sitting on a bench and took the spot at the very end of the bench so I could retie my scarf and push my pant leg farther down into my boot.

I turned Lucia to face me while I pulled off my boot and pushed down my pant leg. I would’ve worn skinnies if I even had time to plan it out.

“Cute kid,” The person turned and looked me in the eyes and I almost felt my heart explode out of my chest.

“Taylor?” I asked the figure, not really sure who was talking to me. The eyes, the jaw, the lips, the face… everything screamed Taylor Crosby to me. What the hell was she doing in Philly?

“Emily?” She repeated in the same shocked tone I was using. She seemed equally as shocked to see me as I was to her. She dropped the hood to her hoodie under a dark blue peacoat—and let out her curly blonde hair.

Trina was the giver of the blonde hair, but Troy was the curly haired giver. “Shit, what are you doing here? Sid said you and him broke up,” Her eyes widened and she pulled her hands out of her pockets as she slid over and hugged me tightly.

I hadn’t seen her since Sidney’s birthday, the year we broke up. She has changed; she would be around 18…19, now? Sid said Taylor and I were around the same age. I did the math, we were 5 years apart and she and Sid were 8.

“I could ask you the same thing, Sid said you started playing with SSM,” I smiled, holding her hands in mine. Sid was so excited to tell me she started playing hockey at SSM for the U16 team, the year we broke up. What are the fucking odds I’d run into her in Philly? “It’s January,” It wasn’t Christmas break, I remember the schedule Sid showed me when he was planning a trip to see her. It wasn’t Spring break; that was in March. Hm… what is she up to?
Her cheeks blushed. “Oh, well… you know, I’m on a break,” What break?

“Why aren’t you in Pittsburgh seeing Sid?” I questioned, trying to deter her from asking me why I was in Philly. “What brings you to Philadelphia?”

“What brings you? Sid said you disappeared off the face of the earth after you two broke up. He was depression fucking city for the longest time,” She frowned.

“I am staying with a friend for a little bit, no big deal,” I tried to explain without giving it completely away. I didn’t really know what she’d do and I partially had a feeling that she’d tell Sidney and I didn’t want that. I was finally getting to the point of telling him, legit, what was up. “And you?”

She huffed, undoing the buttons on her pea coat as she stood up and revealed a bump in her mid-section, more towards her uterus. Holy shit… “Ohmygod Taylor, you are pregnant,” I smiled widely. Sidney was going to be an uncle. “Where’s your boyfriend at? Has Sid met him? What does he think?” If anyone knew Sid like I did, it was that he loved his sister more than anything else, and would go to the earths end to protect her, and she told me she was afraid of getting a boyfriend because of how Sid would react.

“Well, you see…” She slowly dropped her eyes to the stroller where Lucia was sitting, staring back up at us, sucking on her fingers. “Kay, is that my brothers kid?” She pointed at Lucia. I arched an eyebrow. “Don’t you dare lie to me, this is my brother’s kid! I have a picture of him as a baby in my dorm and she is identical to him,”

I knew she’d figure it out. Fuck. “Well… yes, she is his…” I trailed off. “Uhm, we broke up and I found out I was pregnant,”

“Sid’s never mentioned her before, nor has any pictures of her… Mom or Dad doesn’t either, have you told them?” She questioned, looking directly at me. I shrugged. “Emily, my brother has the right to know. This is his daughter,”

“When the fuck did my life turn into a fucking Dr. Phil special?” I snapped. “God, I can’t have a normal conversation with anyone without this coming up. I know I have to tell Sidney, I know it. I want to, but he’ll hate me,” I didn’t want to yell at her like I did; it just kind of came out like that.

“Fine, change of subject, How’s school?” She laughed, obviously knowing it was a little touchy for me to handle. I was planning a way of telling Sidney… but I wanted everything to go absolutely perfect.

“I ended up dropping out when Sid and I broke up and I got pregnant,” I sighed, putting my head into my hands. “But, I registered for the fall semester at the college downtown, so I’ll be able to finish my Journalism career,” My life might be going backwards, but I was getting everything I wanted. A baby, a career and who knows maybe I’ll get married too.

“I am so proud of you,” She put an arm over my shoulder, and pressed our cheeks together. “Of my brother’s girlfriends, you were my favorite,”

“What are you talking about?” I laughed, trying to keep with the pace of the conversation. Girlfriends?

“You know, he had a few girlfriends through school and shit, but they all dissolved because they couldn’t handle him moving everywhere for hockey, so he was alone for a few years. It was hard on him, and then you came along and you were the first real thing I think my brothers ever had… ever, I loved that you were there for him like those other girls weren’t,” She wiped a small tear off her cheek. “My parents really liked you, and I did too. And I know my brother was falling for you,”

Why does this kind of stuff always come up after people break up? DO they just want to make this worse on everyone? I frowned, looking up at Taylor. “I was falling for him too…” I whispered into my fingertips. “I just wished I could’ve told him how much I cared about him,” I sighed. “He hates me, and he probably wouldn’t listen to me if I tried,”

“Emily,” Taylor’s harsh voice through the winter air around us. I sat up, my eyes falling on hers. “Give him the benefit of the doubt. You left him. You broke his heart,” She pointed at me. “I don’t blame him for being upset with you, but I can’t see him turning you away if you went to talk to him,”

“I want to, but I am so afraid of how he’ll react. I left and I had his daughter behind his back,” I spoke softly. “But I want to tell him. I just need to find the right time,” I wanted desperately for a change of subject. “So, why are you in Philly?”

“Fine,” She grumbled. “Uhm, in September… there was a ‘Housewarming’ party, for the boarding house I was staying at, and we all got drunk and I met a guy…” She rolled her eyes. “He was a complete ass, but alcohol can even make Keith Richards attractive, so before I knew it, I was having sex with a complete stranger in the back of his truck,” I felt so bad for her. I had been there more times than I can count and it was no fun in the morning waking up beside someone you don’t even know. “He didn’t tell me his name, only that he was from Philly, so I called him and we are meeting here this afternoon. I want him to know that he is my baby Daddy,”

“How old was the guy or do you know?”

“Carissa, a girl who lives at the boarding house, said he was 24,” She frowned. “Isn’t that dandy, I’m 16, getting uncorked, porked and knocked up by a guy my brothers age,” She put her head in her hands. “I am such a slut and I don’t know what to do. I thought going to SSM would help, but it just made it worse,” She’s 16?

“Taylor, I know where you are right now,” I put my hand on her shoulder. “I was a whore, when I was younger. In Sweden, all I did was party and whore around. I can’t remember any of the guys names I had sex with, none of them. I made some videos, I took some pictures and it took moving to Buffalo and meeting your brother for me to smarten up,” I sighed. “I can’t even believe that was who I used to be. I mean, looking back on it now, I can’t even picture myself like that now,”

“Sidney has never told that to me before,”

“He doesn’t exactly know, I was 16 when we met,” I defended it. “I couldn’t very well say I’ve had over 30 partners in roughly two years,” Her jaw hit the floor at the number. I was floored myself when I actually had sat down and tallied them up. “And those are ones I briefly remember,”

She took my hand in hers. “SO, you understand where I’m at,”

“Yes, and it took meeting your brother for me to smarten up,” I repeated myself. “Taylor, maybe instead of partying; find something else to do. If you aren’t a sober whore, then you have no problems. I was both a drunk and sober whore, so I really had to work at it,”

“So, if I were to… take a yoga class, or take up pottery, it could help me?”

“If you want to be the Mom, I know deep down you can be, you can do this,” I patted her arm. “I believe in you that you can do this. If I can, you can,”

“Thankyou Emily,” She smiled, giving me a tight hug. “If my brother ever gets married, he better fucking marry you,”
“If you want, I can sit with you and wait, Claude won’t be back until tonight anyway,” I wanted to see who this guy was, and also, make sure he wasn’t going to play her, or take advantage of her. Some guys around here think they are thugs…

“Claude?” She asked, pulling away from me, an odd look was across her face. “Who is Claude?”

“My boyfriend, we’ve been dating since May,” I frowned. “He can be kind of an ass, but I like him,”

“Ohh,” She looked at me, like I stabbed her in the back. She was pissed that I have a boyfriend and she probably thought I was just tossing Sidney to the side. “What does he do?”

“He’s a Flyer,” I said, picking at the nail polish on my fingernails.
“Oh, more good news,” She rolled her eyes. “Look, I may be blonde, but when my brother finds out you chose to canoodle with his rival, I hope you are prepared for what’s about to happen,”