Beneath Your Perfect

“I have to go get ready. But you’ll be fine here with the girls right?” Liam checked with me as he stood out front of our door. I bit my lip and nodded at him. I wasn’t sure if he was aware that they knew about us. I wasn’t even sure if they were angry at me for that or not.

Liam smiled and opened the door and pulled me in. Eleanor and Perrie looked up instantly at me. I smiled at them shyly as Liam left straight away.

“You came.” Eleanor said surprised. I nodded at her unsure of what else to do.

“You can sit, the boys will be in soon. They normally just chill in here and do some vocal exercises before going on.” Perrie explained to me. I nodded at her and took a seat on the couch opposite them, instantly folding my legs up and under myself.

“It’s okay we aren’t going to bite your head off. What you and Liam have is between you both.” Eleanor said smiling at me. I shook my head at her.

“Liam and I have nothing between us.” I replied quickly. She shrugged as Perrie snorted.

“Yeah because that’s what’s making Liam smile all the time.” Perrie muttered. I looked at her for a moment before choosing to ignore her statement. Instead I focused on my phone responding to a message from Tyler from before.

“Look if you truly believe that there is nothing between you and Liam maybe you should just leave. He doesn’t need someone else walking out on him when he needs them.” Perrie said to me pulling my attention away from my phone. I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Look, I get that our thing that we have going on here might have hurt you a little bit because not only did I lie to you but so did both of your boyfriends. However like you said before what Liam and me have is between us. Nothing to do with either of you.” I snapped back getting sick of the snide remarks.

“It does involve us. You don’t know what he went through.” Perrie said back sharply.

“Exactly! Because no one will tell me. How am I suppose to be there for him or help him when I don’t know what happened. I didn’t want to be a part of you world. It just happened.” I grumbled at her. Her face softened slightly as she watched me.

“Then why are you still here if there is nothing going on between you?” She asked me softly, a smile gracing her features. I sighed and looked away from her eyes. The last thing I needed was a reminder of my feelings for Liam. Feelings I was sure would never be reciprocated.

The boys entered the room at this point, loud and full of energy. Even Liam was smiling.

“So we go on in about ten minutes, you’ll watch from side stage with the girls.” Liam told me taking the seat next to me. He was sitting close enough that our legs touched.

“Cool. Are you excited?” I asked him. He nodded at me before glancing around at the other boys. They were all making themselves look busy but anyone with half a brain could tell they were listening. They wanted Liam to be happy and okay just as much as I did. Liam shot me a wry smile before plastering a large smile on his face. It wasn’t all genuine but it still wasn’t all fake and for now that was enough.

“Come on. We have to head out now and get ready.” Liam said grabbing my hand as we followed everyone else out. I let Liam continue to hold my hand wondering who he could possible be showing off to.

I watched with Perrie and Eleanor, amused at the boys pre-show ritual. Liam approached me just before he went on.

“Thank you for coming yeah?” Liam said softly, blushing slightly. I blushed back, surprised at his statement. My blush grew worse as Liam pressed a kiss to my cheek before running off to join the other lads beside the stage.

“Yep, nothing happening what so ever.” Perrie sung into my ear, before grabbing my hand and dragging me to side stage where there was a better view. I watched surprised as Liam transformed on stage. His voice was amazing, his performance was amazing and his energy was amazing.

“Woah that kiss must have really done something. Liam has looked that lively in a long time.” Eleanor teased me, as I blushed harder.

We watched most of the concert, sometimes moving back to that small room to get a drink or food before heading back out to just watch the rest.

By the time the boys were finished with the concert they were hyped up and immensely sweaty.

“Ew you’re all gross Liam.” I groaned as he pulled me into a hug. He laughed loudly in my ear, surprising me and I’m pretty sure the people around me. He pulled back but locked our fingers together.

“Hey, we’re going out to party, do you want to come?” Niall asked Liam, I could see the hope in his eyes. Liam’s face froze instantly as his hand tightened around mine.

“No, I promised I would spend the night with Jade.” Liam replied instantly. This was news to me but I tried to hide my surprise and look at Niall apologetic. He practically deflated in front of us before smiling softly and turning to leave.

“You could go you know.” I said to Liam softly.

“I don’t want to.” Liam replied back instantly and began to pull me in another direction. Well that was a quick mood change.

-

“You could come in you know?” I said to Liam as he walked me to my door like usual. He looked at me surprised. “So then you wouldn’t be completely lying to your mates.”

He looked a bit sheepish for a minute but followed me in nonetheless.

“Did you want a drink? A cup of tea?” I asked him.

“Four sugars please.” He said politely. I stopped on my way to the kitchen and looked at him incredulously.

“Four?” I asked, pretty sure my mouth was hanging open. He smirked slightly and nodded.

“Why don’t you just ask for a heart attack?” I muttered but walked into the kitchen to make it anyway. I hummed to myself softly before carting the mugs out into the living room.

“Did you want to watch a movie or something? I’m sure there’s something on Tv?” I asked Liam before noticing him on my laptop. I frowned wondering what he was doing.

“What’s this?” He asked me, eyes narrowing in. I looked at him confused before noticing that the articles I had read about him were still up.

“Why are you on my laptop?” I squeaked at him.

“I had to move it and this came up!” He hissed at me. “Have you been researching me? Do you always believe what you read?”

“What? No! I just I had to find something out about you Liam. It’s just you won’t tell me anything and neither will Eleanor and- .”

“You’ve been speaking behind my back to Eleanor? Who else do you talk to about me?” Liam yelled, standing up to move towards the door. I narrowed my eyes at him and grabbed his arm before he could leave.

“Stop it! Let me explain!” I hissed at him, pushing him towards the chair. He hesitated a moment before letting me push him down.

“Look while we were fighting, Eleanor came over. She said some things and asked me to give you another chance. So I did and I’m glad I did. But Liam you know so much about me right now. And I know nothing about you. You won’t let me in so I ran out of options.” Liam stared at the floor for a long while before glancing up into my eyes. He sighed and grabbed my hand, gently pulling me down next to him.

I tried to ignore the fluttering in my stomach as he turned to face me and grab hold of my hands, tracing small patters into them.

“It’s hard for to me trust people. And I’m sorry that I know so much about you and you know nothing about me. But I’m just a little afraid you might not want to know them.” Liam said softly, not meeting my eyes.

“Liam have I given any indication so far that I don’t want to know you better? I’ve been trying to get to know you probably for ages now. But you won’t let me in; when I think I’m getting somewhere I just find another wall. Yet Eleanor and your band seems to think that I’m getting somewhere with you. Am I?” I hoped that my question didn’t sound too hopeful. Liam’s eyes flew up to meet mine.

“I wouldn’t be this nice to you. I wouldn’t willingly walk you to your door all the time without a reason behind it.” Liam whispered his hand coming up to caress my cheeks.

He was quiet for a moment, as my eyes got lost in his brown ones.

“I think I like you, more than just acquaintances and definitely more than friends. And that scares me because I haven’t liked anyone in a long time. Not seriously. And I’m afraid if you really know me you might leave. People liked the old Liam, the one I used to be. Not who I am now. All dark and broken.” Liam said bitterly.

I hardly noticed how he pulled away from me. I was too entranced by the fact that he stated that he liked me, well he thinks he does. But that was good enough for me. I could live with that. My hand automatically reached out to grab onto his before he could pull it away completely.

“I think I like you too. The dark and broken Liam, I think I like.” He looked at me shocked for a moment like he could never believe my words. I smiled softly at him. In response he began to move forward, his lips heading directly for mine. I instantly placed a hand between us, effectively stopping him. He looked at me confused.

“But I need to know more Liam. I can’t do a relationship with you when I barely know you.” I reasoned with him. He sighed and gripped onto my hand tightly.

“It’s not easy for me to talk about. Especially if I’m afraid you’ll leave if you hear it all. I haven’t exactly been a saint this last year.” He mumbled, eyes trained on his feet. I moved forward and lifted his chin so he had to look at me.

“I’ll do whatever you want to convince you I’m not leaving. But you have to tell me. We can do it slowly. But you have to tell me.” I said to him softly. He nodded at me hesitantly but with a small smile.

“Does that mean I can’t kiss you until I tell you?” He asked me, a small smirk playing across his lips. I smiled back enjoying this flirting version of Liam.

“We’ll see. How about you answer one question tonight and we can continue to hold hands while we watch a movie?” I bargained with him. He eyed me suspiciously. “It can be a yes or no question and you won’t have to elaborate.”

He finally conceded to my proposal. Smiling I sat back in the couch further and eyed hin thoughtfully. I knew my question, but I was worried how he might take it.

“Did you cheat on Danielle?” His face hardened slightly as did his grip on my hand.

“No.” He said immediately in response. I eyed him for a moment before nodding at him. I untangled our hands to grab our drinks. I saw the panicked look on Liam’s face. Sighing I handed him his cup and linked our hands together.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I told him, pulling my feet onto the couch and resting my head on his shoulder. My eyes stayed transfixed on the TV as Liam searched for something to watch. I could feel his body warmth soak through to me, it was making me warm and drowsy.

I was worried though. Keeping Liam’s trust was going to be a lot harder than I thought. If he was constantly going to be worried that I would leave, I didn’t know how to help him.

Liam finally settled on a movie and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, keeping our fingers linked the whole time. I couldn’t help the smiled that spread across my face. He liked me and that was definitely a good feeling.