Beneath Your Perfect

“Are you going to be angry at me forever?” I asked Aria softly as we watched a movie at Sarah’s place. She ignored my question and continued to watch the movie. I sighed and pulled out my phone, already bored with the predictable movie. I went on Twitter to see my followers had grown massively over night.

My eyes widened in surprise believing that it must have been a mistake. My eyes began to read all the tweets. The further I scrolled down I realised the worse that they got. They were One Direction fans and the words that they used were the most hate filled and spiteful words I had ever heard.

The harshness that they typed with was unparallel. I couldn’t believe that young girls were so willing to hate people. People that they didn’t know. They had no idea who I was yet they insisted I was a gold digger, a slut, a whore, hideous and the list went on. I had never seen so much hatred in the world.

“Jade?” Sarah’s voice floated across to me. I ignored her and continued to scroll through, oblivious to the tears leaking from my eyes.

“Oh hun,” Aria’s voice said from beside me as she read over my shoulder. Sarah pulled my phone out of my hand as Aria wrapped me up in her arms.

“Who do they think they are?” I mumbled softly into her chest as she rubbed my back. I could feel the tears sliding down my cheeks now. Who knew a person could be hated so much?

“They are nobody’s okay. They are angry, confused and horrible girls who need to grow up. They don’t understand the consequences of what they’re doing and they are certainly not worth your time.” Aria said to me, gently rocking me. I sniffled and moved my head sideways to glance in Sarah’s direction. She was looking at my phone as tears filled her own eyes. Aria reached over and grabbed it from her.

“I was afraid this would happen.” Sarah said softly before putting her arms around the other side of me.

“I just keep thinking how much this would actually hurt more if I was seriously dating Liam Payne. I feel so sorry for his previous girlfriends.” I told them softly as I continued to run through my mind all the horrible things that were said. Did I really look that fat? I wasn’t the skinniest girl in the world and I certainly couldn’t be a model but I was okay with my body. Well at least I thought I was before those comments.

“You’re beautiful, don’t listen to them.” Aria said softly.

“Please don’t be angry at me anymore Ari, I don’t like not talking to you,” I pleaded softly. I felt her sigh against me.

“I wasn’t angry love. Just slightly disappointed, but I will let it go. For now.” She told me softly before pressing a kiss to my head.

My phone beeped as I stared at its position next to Aria’s bum. I pulled away from her and wiped my eyes before reaching over and answering Liam’s call.

“We need to make another public appearance.” He said the moment I answered. I stayed quiet as he named the place and time he would pick me up. I merely agreed not having the energy to care.

“Are you okay?” Liam suddenly asked softly. I closed my eyes briefly before opening them and staring at the TV confidently.

“I’m fine Liam. I’ll see you tonight. Goodbye.” I said before hanging up the phone.

“I better go.” I said to Sarah and Aria softly before standing up.

“Is it really worth this? Is it worth the hate just for a book?” Sarah asked me softly, looking up at me. I glanced down at her surprised. I honestly had no idea how to answer her question. If I spoke honestly I would tell her that part of me wasn’t doing this for my writing. A part of me was doing it for another reason but if she asked me what that reason was I couldn’t answer her. I wouldn’t be able to answer her because I didn’t even know why. I could say I was curious but that wasn’t all of it. I could say I wanted the fame, but that was definitely not the reason.

“I don’t know.” I ended up replying to her before leaving her apartment and crossing the road to my own. Only a few paparazzi were left standing out front and I made it inside without too much trouble.

-

“So what movie did you want to see?” Liam asked me as we awkwardly stood in front of the cinemas with flashes aimed towards us from every direction. I shrugged and glanced around at the people staring at us.

“Are you okay?” He asked me quietly. I turned to him surprised and raised any eyebrow. “You were really quiet all through dinner and you still are. I may have not known you for long but for the time I have, I know you normally have a lot to say.”

I stared at him for a moment trying to fully understand the boy in front of me. Now he was caring?
“We’re not a real couple, remember Liam. My life doesn’t matter to you.” I muttered using the meaning behind his words from the park the other day. He sighed before grabbing a hold of my hand and walking towards the guy at the counter. I followed behind him uncaringly. The hundreds of people watching our every move was making me uncomfortable. Was even making me second guess what I had decided to wear tonight.

“Do you want food or drink?” Liam asked turning to me. I shook my head. He ordered two drinks and popcorn anyway. I frowned and tried not to look too annoyed with him out in public otherwise people would start talking. Liam payed for everything easily and I grabbed the tickets and a drink as he grabbed the rest and led the way to the cinema. I glanced down at the tickets to see that Liam had bought tickets to Skyfall. I smiled happily at the James Bond movie, I actually did really want to see this one.

“I saw Twitter,” I blurted out to Liam randomly as we took our seats. I watched him out of the corner of my eyes, curious for his reaction. I watched as his body stiffened slightly and he immediately looked at me. I met his eyes and for the briefest moment I noticed the concern in his eyes.

It didn’t last long, almost instantly his eyes became cold and hard again.

“So are you going to leave?” He asked, facing forward and not meeting my eyes. I watched the side of his face as he refused to turn to me, I could see his jaw clenching every now and then.

“No,” I said softly, his head whipped towards mine as he looked at me in surprise. “I was just letting you know that I was quiet because I saw Twitter. It certainly didn’t give me a confidence boost.”

I could feel his eyes on me as I took a drink before grabbing a whole handful of popcorn and began to scoff them down.

“Why are you staying?” He asked me confused. There was no emotion conveyed in his words. His words were hard and uncaring, he had no emotion to whether I stay or leave he just wanted to know.

“Because you asked me to stay. You need me.” I told him, meeting his eyes.

“You always act like a part of you isn’t doing this for selfish reasons.” He scoffed.

“Maybe I’m not...” I trailed off, unsure where this conversation was going.

“Everything we do is selfish. Human’s are selfish beings.” He stated before the movie began and instantly I knew I lost him. I watched him amused as his eyes narrowed in on the large screen in front of us. His hand reached into the popcorn and constantly fed himself as he his eyes stayed trained on the screen.

He looked like the most adorable person I had ever seen. I resisted the urge to reach out and stroke his cheek. Instead I settled myself down in the chair and prepared myself to be captured by the eyes of Daniel Craig.

-

“What do you believe in?”

“I’m sorry what?” Liam asked me after a confused pause as he drove me home.

“What do you believe in? Or who?” I asked him again. “Everyone believes in something, whether its a type of religion, a best friend, a family member, maybe even their dog. So I just want to know, what do you believe in?” I asked him curiously. His eyes flicked towards mine as he stopped at a traffic light.

“I have nothing left to believe in.” He told me coldly before driving through the green light. I studied him for a second. “Everyone stopped believing in me.”

We were silent the rest of the way before we pulled into the car park of my apartment.

“I think you’re wrong you know. If everyone stopped beliving in you we wouldn’t be here right now. You’re management wouldn’t have cared enough to try and fix your image if they didn’t believe in you. They would have just gotten rid of you. And by the amounts of texts tonight that you received without replying to I would assume that meant people believed in you. Every single one of your band mates texted you and so did your family and you never replied once. If people stopped believing in you Liam. Could you really blame them?

“You don’t understand.” He muttered, his hand tightening around the steering wheel.

“You’re right I don’t because you won’t talk to me. Goodnight Liam.” I said before shutting the door and walking through my apartment floors.

I arrived back in my flat and headed towards my notebook. With a sigh, I realised it was still missing, instead I used my computer and typed up some information I had thought of for the main male lead in my book.

The male would be cold and distant towards the female heroin. He didn’t know how to understand or take her. Nor did she know how to understand him, although she was more than willing.