Are You Serious?

Regret...I felt regret the moment she looked down, the moment the tears started to fall, the moment she looked back up at me and ran away. Regret , guilt , remorse whatever you want to call it. It’s that feeling that's kept my chest heavy all day at school. To see her walk around in the hallway with her head down, all the happiness knocked out of her. I shouldn't have said it, I know I shouldn't have. I didn't mean to be so...harsh, but I can’t help it. I got so defensive , after I took her home I quickly realized it wasn't her house when ,she started to walk in a whole other direction. I guess she didn't really think that one through, but she never does. When I got home all I could think about was her, and the more I thought the madder I got. Dallas had managed to change all my feelings about relationships in a matter of two weeks. I just didn't want to accept it, I needed to hurt her I guess so maybe she’d just go away. But when she left my heart ached and that really scares me.
I can't even remember the last time I cried, but today after school I drove over to Lori’s house, flopped on her bed and cried. I cried until I could feel her hand rub small circles on my back.

“Shhh...shhh it’s OK Luce”
I leaned up on my elbows and looked up at her, realizing that I had completely laid on her homework I sat the rest of the way up.
“Sorry..” I mumbled as I wiped some stray tears away.

She gave me a sweet smile and grabbed my hand.

“I feel soo weird right now” she nodded and took my other hand , placing it on her shoulder.
“Is this about Dallas?” I took my hand away and stood up. I walked across her room to her large mirror and stared at myself, sighing I closed my eyes.
“Of course..” I breathed out.
“How can she do this to me? I don't even know her.”
I opened my eyes when Lori wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Looking at our reflection in the mirror, it reminded me of all the times me and Lori had hooked up. How many times I had hooked up with other girls, and how many times afterwards I had been okay with just leaving them, how many times I had never wanted a relationship. I don’t think I could just leave Dallas, but the very fact I even considered having an actual girlfriend, caused me to panic. Quickly I whipped around and captured Lori’s lips with mine. She gave out a startled gasp, but quickly fell into place. She began to kiss me back, she leaned her head back so I could further explore her mouth with my tongue.I cradled her head in my hand, while my other slid it’s way underneath her tank-top. Her breath hitched when I grabbed her breast.
“Luce!..” she moaned as she fell back leading us against the wall.
Not even a second past before my lips were on her’s again. I was hungry, I needed this. It was the only thing familiar to me right now. I pressed my body against hers, slipping my hand yet again up her tank. She pulled away from me suddenly , I frowned at the loss of contact. But she slightly out of breathe, took my hand and lead it to the top of her pj bottoms. I smiled and kissed her again now beginning to bite at her lip, I lead a trail of kisses down her neck sucking on her soft spot right behind her ear. She gave me a loud moan, and suddenly I couldn't take it! I quickly slipped my hand down underneath both layers of fabric, and without warning I began to slip my fingers inside her.
“ugh!..” Her breath became heavy and she closed her eyelids biting her lip.
“oh god Luce..” I moved my fingers at a faster pace, gasping myself. I closed my eyes and moved in and out harder, harder and harder until I felt her squeeze against my fingers.

“Oh GOD!...” she moaned throwing her head back against the wall.
I smiled and gave her small kisses on her neck until she rode out her orgasm. I pulled my hand out of her pants, and gave her a peck on the cheek.

“See you at school?”
She still trying to catch her breathe just nodded. I Smiled and left , just like that, gone no questions asked. I loved that, but for some damn reason a wide smiled sunny blonde evaded my thoughts as I drove home. And I just knew I had to talk to her tomorrow at school ,I had to apologize and I needed her to forgive me,I needed her to smile.