The Reason I Love You
Your only condition?
It’s been about a month since the funeral. Frank lived with us for a week or so and checked up on us afterwards. Because I got depressed and he got worried, I wouldn’t blame him, because he knows how bad my past was.
“Hey dad!” I heard Bandit shout from upstairs
“Yes honey?”
“Can, can you come up here” I was worried with what she might want, what if it was one of those things Lynz should have seen and not me.
“I wanted to ask YOU something” Bandit said as soon as I walked in.
“Yes, sweetie you can ask me anything” I said it, worrying….
“Okay…. I have a couple of things to ask you” She said getting up from her bed and sitting at her desk, I sat down on her bed… “Dad, what were you talking about to Frank at the funeral, I mean… About you doing…. Drugs…?” I dreaded this day since she was born.
“Well, B… I am actually glad you asked me. You’re old enough to know now… Well. During Revenge I was depressed, I drank allot, and I did… Some drugs-“
“Like? What kind of drugs…. Sorry”
“It’s alright… I used to do…. Cocaine,” Her faced dropped, mouth was WIDE open, catching flies by now…. It was an awkward silence or about a minute. Until she said something.
“Well, I’m glad you stopped, I’m glad mom was there to help.” Her eyes filled up with tears
“It’s okay Bandit” I assured her with my comforting smile holding onto her. My arms wrapped around her body “And what was your other question?”
“Oh my, well… Now that I know that, it’s going to be harder to ask…” I was really! Worried with what she’d say now
“What is it? I just need you to know, that my past drug use is all gone! No more drugs”
“I know, but you’re depressed, you said you were depressed during that time, and you’re depressed now… What are you going to do when I’m gone… Shit…” What was she talking about? Gone…?
“What? Gone what are you talking about?” It was quiet...
“Bandit, please tell me, what are you talking about” I wanted to cry already.
“Well… I wanted to move in with grandma and grandpa….” She blurted it out
I didn’t know what to say…
“What?!”
“They told me when I was on the phone with them that it would be okay, I just… Now that I know this I don’t want to leave you in your time of trouble” Bandit told me so careingly.
“It’s okay… But, what did grandma and grandpa say exactly?”
“Well they told me how you get when you’re upset, and that if it gets worse than I’m allowed to stay there for as long as I want, and I thought that maybe you’d want some space to think and now I know all this and I’m worried… Kind of getting second thoughts on this is stuff….”
“Oh my, well, B… If you want to live with your grandparents for a while, that would be great for he both of us”
“Yeah, but Dad! I’m worried for you! Who’s going to stay with you? Someone needs to stay with you that is my only condition!”
“I’ll get Frank then” I said with a sarcastic attitude “If that works for you?”
“Yes it does!” She shouted smiling and giving me a hug…. About 15 seconds into the hug she started to cry…. I asked her why…
“I miss mom…” and she was bawling her eyes out.
“Look, Bandit… I do to! I miss her allot, but the only thing we can do is remember her. You need time to think, so do I… Why don’t you clean up, start packing and I’ll call grandma and grandpa”
“Hey dad!” I heard Bandit shout from upstairs
“Yes honey?”
“Can, can you come up here” I was worried with what she might want, what if it was one of those things Lynz should have seen and not me.
“I wanted to ask YOU something” Bandit said as soon as I walked in.
“Yes, sweetie you can ask me anything” I said it, worrying….
“Okay…. I have a couple of things to ask you” She said getting up from her bed and sitting at her desk, I sat down on her bed… “Dad, what were you talking about to Frank at the funeral, I mean… About you doing…. Drugs…?” I dreaded this day since she was born.
“Well, B… I am actually glad you asked me. You’re old enough to know now… Well. During Revenge I was depressed, I drank allot, and I did… Some drugs-“
“Like? What kind of drugs…. Sorry”
“It’s alright… I used to do…. Cocaine,” Her faced dropped, mouth was WIDE open, catching flies by now…. It was an awkward silence or about a minute. Until she said something.
“Well, I’m glad you stopped, I’m glad mom was there to help.” Her eyes filled up with tears
“It’s okay Bandit” I assured her with my comforting smile holding onto her. My arms wrapped around her body “And what was your other question?”
“Oh my, well… Now that I know that, it’s going to be harder to ask…” I was really! Worried with what she’d say now
“What is it? I just need you to know, that my past drug use is all gone! No more drugs”
“I know, but you’re depressed, you said you were depressed during that time, and you’re depressed now… What are you going to do when I’m gone… Shit…” What was she talking about? Gone…?
“What? Gone what are you talking about?” It was quiet...
“Bandit, please tell me, what are you talking about” I wanted to cry already.
“Well… I wanted to move in with grandma and grandpa….” She blurted it out
I didn’t know what to say…
“What?!”
“They told me when I was on the phone with them that it would be okay, I just… Now that I know this I don’t want to leave you in your time of trouble” Bandit told me so careingly.
“It’s okay… But, what did grandma and grandpa say exactly?”
“Well they told me how you get when you’re upset, and that if it gets worse than I’m allowed to stay there for as long as I want, and I thought that maybe you’d want some space to think and now I know all this and I’m worried… Kind of getting second thoughts on this is stuff….”
“Oh my, well, B… If you want to live with your grandparents for a while, that would be great for he both of us”
“Yeah, but Dad! I’m worried for you! Who’s going to stay with you? Someone needs to stay with you that is my only condition!”
“I’ll get Frank then” I said with a sarcastic attitude “If that works for you?”
“Yes it does!” She shouted smiling and giving me a hug…. About 15 seconds into the hug she started to cry…. I asked her why…
“I miss mom…” and she was bawling her eyes out.
“Look, Bandit… I do to! I miss her allot, but the only thing we can do is remember her. You need time to think, so do I… Why don’t you clean up, start packing and I’ll call grandma and grandpa”