If You Only Knew

"Well, what surprised me about Darrell was when he...he," Jimmy seemed to struggle to say it. "He kissed me," he blurts out. I stare at him in shock. "Yup, he kissed me and I got kind of pissed at him, not intentionally but I told him I wasnt gay, what don't you understand about that? I'm not gay. I hurt him though I could see it. I felt bad and so I comforted him by saying someone will want him someday and all, from that point on, Gerard popped into his life." I gasped at why I heard. "G-G-Gerard?" I stuttered. He nodded and gave a small smile. "I understand your shocked but yes Gerard made his way into his life. They caught eachothers eye. They were so happy even I was jealous," he chuckles , I laugh along with him.
"they were inseparable, Gerard was perfect for him he was always understanding and caring, reasons why I liked him a lot," I nod in agreement, yes he is, he's been like that with me ever since I met him, overprotective and caring.
"He understood Darrell was scared to let out the fact he was gay. He understood him a lot and allowed it. Gerard was the perfect man. They love eachother dearly. They were together for a year and few months, not sure, but long enough for them to fall for eachother. Well this all ended one day. Gerard wanted to go out and do somethin with Darrell to show everyone he loved him and to enjoy being with him. Well Darrell was hesitant and didn't want to go. Gerard said he would be there to protect him and everthing. Darrell still rejected and kept saying no. Finally Gerard gave up on him. He told him, if you want to be in a relationship with me start standing up for yourself and me. This isn't gonna work out if your always scared. So are you with me or no. Darrell rejected once again. Gerard told him they're done. He's sick of secretly being with someone and can't show that he loves him. After that Darrell broke into depression and blamed himself for everything. Darrell went to Gerard and said he was sorry and told him how hes still scared. He doesn't want to just yet. He asked Gerard if he still would want to be with him. Gerard said he would only if he would come out. Darrell said no. Gerard said then he can't be with him. Darrell was so heartbroken after that. He beat himself up over him. I say he isn't worth it plus it's not your fault your scared but he's gotta come out sometime," I nod while he's talking, taking in everthing he's saying to me. Darrells ashamed.

"That's when you came in the picture," my head snapped up when he said that. He looked at me with contempted eyes.
"After you got out of school I guess Darrell was gonna try to make an amends with you and apologize. So yeah, he forced me into doing it with him and stalk you for a while, sorry about that," I say it's okay and wait for him to go on.
"When that day you went into town and we saw you. Darrell made me come with him. Well honestly he uh...kinda liked you," he says to me. I gasp and furrowed my eyebrows confused.
"he thought you were cute. Until you accidentally bumped into Gerard. We honestly didn't know he was there because we paid attention to you. Darrell was kind of hesitant about you two talking. Once he saw you guys bump into eachother, he knew you would catch Gerard's eye. From what he told me why he liked you.
He thought you would catch Gerard's eye because first off, Gerard loved tattoos, your smile was cute, your short but have a build at least, he likes your face. Possibly everthing about the way you look."
I blush an look down. He noticed my nervousness and put his hand on my shoulder and gave a small squeeze.
"When you fell on him, he seen the look in Gerards eye I guess. He knows him better than me, I didn't go out with him. Once you guys stood up and apologized. He seen the look on Gerard's face, he seen you look down and how Gerard stared at you hungrily, lusting and he licked his lips, I'm not lying," I blush again thinking about how Gerard wanted me. I smiled and didn't care if it was creepy.
"Darrell became very angry. He hated the fact that Gerard liked you from the start. He hated how he would forget about him just to get his hands on you and last the fact that he was after you, Darrell wanted you for himself." he responds.
I gulped and had chills sent down my back. I wouldn't want Darrell, not in a million years.
"Which led to raping you the next day," I cringed when that happened.
"I didn't want him to, I said no leave him alone, but he threatened our friendship so I went along with it. We grabbed you and all that stuff and I stood there while Darrell raped you, I stood there wondering how he could be so sick an vile. My stomach churned. I honestly told him someone was coming on purpose. No one was, I just wanted him to stop fucking you," I look into his eyes and smiled.
"Thank you," I quietly said, he nodded.
"Welcome, well when he finished and we took off. We got home an he told me how good you felt, he wanted more and more of you. Hell he would fuck you everyday if it wasn't for me telling him no. He got to obsessed with you. I told him stop but he wants you. I dont know why. Later on, we find out your with Gerard. Darrell was beyond belief angry. His Gerard the way he put it. Frank had My Gerard. Reasons why he hates you now. Well we stalked you guys all this time I realized how I was becoming more afraid of Darrell. I can't stop him now because he will kill me. I'm scared of him Frank I really am. We didn't expect to find you guys here," he says.
"Well it was my home you do realize that right?" I respond. He nods understanding what I'm saying.
"I'm sorry he has you like this, he's angry because you have the courage to come out and he knows. Deep down he knows Gerard loves that. Which is why he hates you more, your everything Gerard wants. Your way better lookin," I snort.
"No seriously, I would agree you are no homo," he says. I blush and laugh.
"well I hope you understand why Darells like this," he says. I nod .
"I do, but doesn't give him any right," I start.
"I know I know Frank, I don't agree either but I'm tying to stop him, please trust me I'm trying." he says I believe him.
"Now I gotta check on Gerard, who knows what Darrell could be doing," he states. I shiver, he better not be doing anything. Jimmy says he'll talk to me later and walks out the room.

I sigh and wonder how it feels to be ashamed. I can't becaus I'm not.
Darrell's still an asshole fuckface to me. I don't feel sorry one bit. He doesn't have the right to hurt either of us. Then I hear a scream.
"Darrell what the fuck?!?!" I hear Jimmy yell.