Concerning Hobbits

Pansy stumbled home from the Green dragon, laughing with a few of the Boys from the Took side of the family. Singing a song down the road with linked arms completely and utterly drunk. Soon the Tooks parted ways with her and Pansy stumbled on down the road alone. She giggled slightly it was dark out, save what lights shinned from lanterns. As she neared Bag End she cursed to herself and darted for the door. The lights where on, and she had completely forgotten about evening tea. “Oh Pansy you fool of a…” she muttered reaching for the handle but stopped as she heard hushed voices. “I thought…Gandalf was going to be here…” she thought pressing her ear to the door. “If I say he is a Burglar, a Burglar he is, or will be when the time comes. There is a lot more in him than you presume, and a deal more than he has any scheme of himself.” Pansy could hear Gandalf say in an irritated huff of hot air. There was a quiet pause, she pulled away from the door “Bilbo….Burglar? this isn’t right” she thought quickly cover her mouth to drowned out the sound of a drunken hiccup.

Pansy leaned back to the door carefully “I remember the Mountain well enough and the lands about it. And I know where Mirkwood is, and the Withered Heath where the great dragons bred. There is a dragon marked in red on the Mountain” A different male voice said, but it will be easy enough to find him without that, if ever we get there.” Said yet another “There is one point that you haven't noticed,” Gandalf spoke this time and these was a short pause, Pansy pressed her ear to the door harder. “And that is the secret entrance….Look here…. You see that rune on the West side, and the hand pointing to it from the other runes? That marks a hidden passage to the Lower Halls.” Gandalf continued, Pansy’s toe slipped a bit beneath her however she managed to save herself from falling. “It may have been secret a long time ago….but how do we know that it is a secret any longer? Old Smaug had lived there long enough now to find out anything there is to know about those caves.” A noble voice spoke now, Pansy listened in so intensely now her breathing became shallow “Smaug? Dragons? Secret runes? What madness is this?” Pansy thought to herself glancing over her shoulder making sure no one was passing by. She felt rather silly in truth, it was her house to, many would not understand why she couldn’t just waltz on it. “He may…..even still he couldn’t have used it for years “ Gandalf muttered, “why?” a voice sounding far younger than the others managed. Pansy began to wonder if Bilbo was in there at all, wasn’t like him to be so quiet. “Because it is too small. 'Five feet high the door and three may walk abreast' say the runes, but Smaug could not creep into a hole that size, not even when he was a young dragon, certainly not after devouring so many of the dwarves and men of Dale.” Gandalf said, “seems like a very great big hole to me…” Bilbo muttered. “Dwarfs!” Pansy gasped her foot slipped yet again and the unlocked door flew open with her extra weight and a slight flick of the knob.

Pansy fell to the foor in the entryway. She closed her eyes tightly “you drunken fool!” screamed in her head, not wanting to open her eyes. “Pansy!” Bilbo called running to her side “carefully, now, come get up, get up” Bilbo said helping her to her feet. She dusted off her hobbit dress and looked up. Her mouth fell ajar and she shook her head in disbelieve. “ Dwarfs” she breathed Scanning over them all “A hole Thorpe of ‘em” she muttered. Gandalf chuckled “yes, Oin Sir, Gloin Sir, Dwalin, Nori, Ori, and Dori, Bifur, Bofur” Gandalf named them off gesturing to each one whom bowed slightly “and Bombur at your service” the next in line called cheerfully. “Balin at your service” said yet another, “ A smooth looking strawberry blonde dwarf smile and bowed slightly “Fili at your service” a dwarf with little beard and a mop of waved hair stepped up from behind him. “and Kili at your service” he said with a deep bow, his eyes trailed from Pansy’s toes up into her silvery eyes. Pansy’s eyes went to the only remaining dwarf he looked as though he might have been important “and Thorin” He said, but there was no mention of Service. Pansy gawked for a while and then curtsied clumsily “and Pansy…at your service!” she said standing back up with a giggle. Bilbo watched her as she went into her giggle fit. “are you an partner of Burglar Baggins?” Nori asked “Why yes..yes I guess you could say so!” Pansy said with a proud face, no she wasn’t taking any of this seriously. After all she was just drunk dreaming, she knew perfectly well she would awake in the Green Dragon with the Took boys standing over her.

Balin frowned and crossed his arms leering down at the little hobbit girl in skepticism “you look like no Burglar to me” He said slowly Pansy placed her hands on her hips and held her head high in the air “well of course not, That Balin sir, is my signature…the unexpected is my greatest ploy!” she said Fili and Kili glanced at one another and then back to Pansy. Bilbo pulled her to the side “what are you doing?” he asked her she waved at the dwarfs “having a bit of fun in my dream, with the dwarfs from my book…you see you don’t know it but I am passed out back at the green dragon” she said in a fit of giggles. Bilbo sighed and rubbed his temples “no Pansy…you are not dreaming…they are all here” He said Pansy became pale in the face “y-you lie” she stammered, “No dear child, Bilbo is right..” Gandalf said in amusement. Pansy turned around slowly to face the dwarfs. And blush came to her face, and then it struck her.

“real dwarfs!” she gasped she ran up to the youngest of the two who were also in the closest range of her she grabbed both their hands and shook them rapidly “it’s nice to meet you sirs!” she called her blush still on her cheeks, The two looked at each other and chuckled quietly. They each took one of her hands and kissed it. Thus making Pansy cheery red in her little pale face. Her eyes then slowly turned to Thorin. She slowly walked over to him, she gave a curtsy so low her knees almost hit the ground. “and that means….you are thee Thorin” she said in wonder looking up at him slightly “you are in my book…” she said timidly. He looked down at her and a slight smile came to his face, “now this is a well mannered hobbit” He said eyeing her slightly. “up with you now” He added, Pansy quickly rose as Gandalf cleared this throat “it seems Pansy Baggins you too have some Took lying in your blood…otherwise, such a well mannered hobbit lady, would not have been...Eavesdropping” Gandalf said a playful glinting in his eyes. Pansy shook her head rapidly “ no!” she gasped “not at all…I wasn’t dropping any kind of Eves…Gandalf sir…I…I just fell in…” Pansy said quickly stumbling over her words “tripped I did…over m own drunken feet” she said pointing to her toes. Gandalf chuckled “I heard you hiccup…Pansy you can hide nothing for a old wizard” He said Pansy gave a sheepish smile “oh..you did…did you” she said her face turning cherry once more. “I heard things, of dragons…and secret passes…and Woods of mirk” she said looking up at the wizard eagerly. Kili laughed “ It’s Mirkwood…not woods of mirk” He said looking down at her.

Bilbo cleared his throat, It was all well that Pansy had come home, and he was glad she had gotten to see the dwarfs. However all the same He was getting quiet excited as talks of maps was coming about. He wasn’t going to hide it anymore, this was getting interesting, and he had yet another question. “How could such a large door be kept secret from everybody outside…you know….apart from the dragon?” Bilbo asked, the old wizard turned his attention to Bilbo “In lots of ways…But in what way this one has been hidden we don't know, without going to see it” Gandalf said. Pansy had wandered over to the Map, and looked at it carefully, trailing her fingers over it. Dwalin, Fili, and Kili hovered over her trying to see what she was looking at. “From…from.. what the map says here” Pansy said grabbing the attention of everyone. “I should guess there is a closed door…. which may have made to look exactly like the side of the Mountain….I mean that is the usual dwarves' method….I think that is right” she said recalling some facts she had remembered from her book. Pansy looked up to see a good number of the party looking at in a mild shock “I-isn't it?” she asked in a small peep, not fond of the attention at all. Thorin cleared his throat “Quite right” he said looking from pansy to the map. She smiled inwardly, she walked over to Bilbo’s side quietly. So much excitement was welling up in her tiny body that she felt she would burst.

“I forgot to bring up that with the map went a key… a diminutive and curious key. “ Gandalf said digging into a pocket in his robes “Here it is” He set the key within Thorin’s hand, indeed it was a very small key, but beautifully made and of pure shinning silver. “now..keep it safe” Gandalf warned, Thorin nodded and took out a long gleaming chain from his shirt “to be sure I will” Thorin said hooking the key to the chain before tucking it back into his shirt. Pansy looked over him, from the top of his head to the bottom of his shoes. He had a thick main of salt and peppered raven hair, and a well shaped beard. He’s eyes were deep set and his bone structure regal. Pansy caught herself staring and tore her gaze away. She didn’t want to seem to uncultured about the Lands beyond the shire, and the people there of. “We thought of going East, as quiet and careful as we could, as far as the Long Lake. After that the trouble would begin.” Thorin stated glancing at Pansy whom he had caught watching him. “A long time before that, if I know anything about the loads East,” Gandalf said quickly cutting in. Pansy looked at them all highly confused, but trying her best to mask it. “We might go from there up along the River Running,” Thorin continued looking at the mapping ignoring Gandalf’s statement al together. “Proud one he is” Pansy thought to herself…then again…He’s got the right to be…if he is who the book says he is..” Pansy thought to herself. “and so to the ruins of Dale-the old town in the valley there, under the shadow of the Mountain. But none of us rather liked the idea of the Front Gate. The river runs right out of it through the great cliff at the South of the Mountain, and out of it comes the dragon far-far too often….unless he has changed.” Thorin said in deep thought, “would be no good…not without a mighty Warrior, even a Hero. I tried to find one; but warriors are busy combating one another in far-off lands, and in this neighborhood heroes are scarce, or simply lot to be found.” Gandalf said with a sigh. Pansy looked on blankly with an unpleased and all to knowing frown “Swords around these parts are mostly blunt…or nowhere to be found, and axes are used for trees or fire wood, shields are cradles or dish-covers” Pansy said in pessimism, Bilbo nodded in agreement, why he himself had an Shield dish cover himself.

“That is why I settled on burglary, chiefly when I remembered the existence of a Side door. And here is our little Bilbo Baggins, the burglar, the chosen and selected burglar. So now let's get on and make some plans.” Gandalf said bringing the meeting further along. “very well” Thorin stated turning to Bilbo, a sarcastic smile came to his face “supposing the Master Burglar gives us some ideas or suggestions.” He added. Bilbo looked around at all the dwarf faces “First…well first I should like to know a bit more about things” Bilbo stated, his voice was unsure of himself, and in actuality he was still very much confused. “I mean about the gold and the dragon…and all that. How it got there and who it belongs to, so on and so forth.” Bilbo added looking in between Gandalf, Thorin, and Balin. “have you not got a map? and did you not hear our song? Haven't we been talking about all this for hours?” Thorin asked with a raised brow. “a song?” Pansy asked with a smile, the dwarfs look at her in mild annoyance, her smile slowly faded and she looked down at her hands. Kili slid over to her and bumped his shoulder against hers, offer p at smile “you’ll hear it one day” He offered, she nodded a bit and focused once more on the conversation. “All the same, I should like it all plain and clear” Bilbo stated unmoving in his last statement, and trying to by himself more time. He wanted to seem as wise and as skilled as Gandalf had played him up to be. “Also I should like to know about risks, out-of-pocket everyday expenditure, time required and recompense, and so forth” Bilbo added, Pansy turned to look at him, she scrunched up her nose. He was talking funny, “what he means to say, you see, is…Is he coming back alive…and how much will he be receiving in payment…A burglar doesn’t burgle for free…you know” Pansy said cutting in, she crossed her arms, and tried to act like a partner in crime. If this was really going to go anywhere…she wanted to be a part of it.

Thorin looked mildly displeased “very well, Hobbits, very well” he said as they all took seats once more “Long ago in my grandfather Thror's time our family was driven out of the far North, and came back with all their wealth and their tools to this Mountain on the map. It had been discovered by my far ancestor, Thrain the Old, but now they mined and they tunneled and they made huger halls and greater workshops and in addition I believe they found a good deal of gold and a great many jewels too.” Thorin said trialing off, Pansy listened in closely, the story sounded a bit familiar, and she couldn’t hold back the smiled on her face. “Anyway they grew immensely rich and famous, and my grandfather was King under the Mountain again and treated with great reverence by the mortal men, who lived to the South, and were gradually spreading up the Running River as far as the valley overshadowed by the Mountain. They built the merry town of Dale there in those days. Kings used to send for our smiths, and reward even the least skilful most richly. Fathers would beg us to take their sons as apprentices, and pay us handsomely, especially in food-supplies, which we never bothered to grow or find for ourselves. Altogether those were good days for us, and the poorest of us had money to spend and to lend, and leisure to make beautiful things just for the Fun of it, not to speak of the most marvelous and magical toys, the like of which is not to be found in the world now-a-days.” Thorin went on fondly, Pansy began to envision some of the items that might have been made and the jewels that were found there. “So my grandfather's halls became full of armour and jewels and carvings and cups, and the toy-market of Dale was the wonder of the North. Undoubtedly that was what brought the dragon. Dragons steal gold and jewels, you know, from men and elves and dwarves, wherever they can find them; and they guard their plunder as long as they live” Thorin said on a darker note, Pansy frowned “Dragons live on for well..forever” She said Gandalf nodded a bit “. Indeed they hardly know a good bit of work from a bad, though they usually have a good notion of the current market value; and they can't make a thing for themselves, not even mend a little loose scale of their armor. There were lots of dragons in the North in those days, and gold was probably getting scarce up there, with the dwarves fleeing south or getting killed, and all the general waste and destruction that dragons make going from bad to worse. There was a most specially greedy, strong and wicked worm called Smaug. One day he flew up into the air and came south. The first we heard of it was a noise like a hurricane coming from the North, and the pine-trees on the Mountain creaking and cracking in the wind.” As Thorin spoke Pansy could clearly in her mind in vision the scenes and began to daze off into a daydream following his words.

“Some of the dwarves who happened to be outside ,I was one luckily,-a fine adventurous lad in those days, always wandering about, and it saved my life that day....well, from a good way off we saw the dragon settle on our mountain in a spout of flame. Then he came down the slopes and when he reached the woods they all went up in fire. By that time all the bells were ringing in Dale and the warriors were arming. The dwarves rushed out of their great gate; but there was the dragon waiting for them. None escaped that way. The river rushed up in steam and a fog fell on Dale, and in the fog the dragon came on them and destroyed most of the warriors-the usual unhappy story, it was only too common in those days. Then he went back and crept in through the Front Gate and routed out all the halls, and lanes, and tunnels, alleys, cellars, mansions and passages. After that there were no dwarves left alive inside, and he took all their wealth for himself. Probably, for that is the dragons' way, he has piled it all up in a great heap far inside, and sleeps on it for a bed. Later he used to crawl out of the great gate and come by night to Dale, and carry away people, especially maidens, to eat, until Dale was ruined, and all the people dead or gone.” Thorin’s tale of history left Pansy and Bilbo alike completely horrified. And most of the dwarfs held somber faces. “What goes on there now I don't know for certain, but I don't suppose anyone lives nearer to the Mountain than the far edge of the Long Lake now-a-days. The few of us that were well outside sat and wept in hiding, and cursed Smaug; and there we were unexpectedly joined by my father and my grandfather with singed beards. They looked very grim but they said very little. When I asked how they had got away, they told me to hold my tongue, and said that one day in the proper time I should know. After that we went away, and we have had to earn our livings as best we could up and down the lands, often enough sinking as low as blacksmith-work or even coalmining. But we have never forgotten our stolen treasure. And even now, when I will allow we have a good bit laid by and are not so badly off” Thorn muttered stroking the brilliant golden chain around his neck, Pansy seemed to be in deep thought herself, the story sounded exactly like the one in her books. "we still mean to get it back, and to bring our curses home to Smaug….if we can. I have often wondered about my father's and my grandfather's get away. I see now they must have had a secretive Side-door which only they knew about. But it seems that they made a map, and I should like to distinguish how Gandalf got hold of it, and why it did not come down to me….the rightful heir.” Thorin asked a bit pointedly now, Gandalf looked down at the dwarf blankly “I did not 'get hold of it, ' I was given it, Your grandfather Thror was killed, you remember, in the mines of Moria by-“ Gandalf started but Pansy cut in “Azog the Goblin…” she said she didn’t mean to it just slipped out the party looked down at her in question. Pansy shrunk under their gaze “it was…in my..my book?” She stumbled along with her words. “And Thrain your father went away on the twenty-first of April, a hundred years ago last Thursday, and has never been seen since” Gandalf added. Thorin nodded but stayed silent, his eyes laid now on Pansy, he was curious as to now a book documenting his family’s history had reached the hands of a hobbit.

“Well, your father gave me this to present to you; and if I have selected my own time and way of handing it over, you can hardly fault me, considering the difficulty I had in finding you. Your father could not remember his own name when he gave me the paper, and he on no account told me yours; so in all I think I ought to be praised and thanked.” Gandalf said in indignation He rolled up the map and held it out to Thorin “here it is” he stated simply. Pansy’s eyes darted between the two “I don't understand” Thorin said slowly looking at the map. Bilbo sighed, took the words right out of his mouth, He couldn’t fathom how anyone in the room was keeping up with all of this. The light of the lamp and the fire dances around the room causing shadows to sway, a nostalgic air filled the Hobbit hole. There was a long silence, before Gandalf went to speak “you grandfather….” He said pausing to sigh “gave the map to his son for safety before he went to the mines of Moria. Your father went away to try his luck with the map after your grandfather was killed; and lots of adventures of a most unpleasant sort he had, but he never got near the Mountain. How he got there I don't know, but I found him a prisoner in the dungeons of the Necromancer.” He stated Pansy shrunk back, now that was a name she remembered all too well from her books. The Necromancer, a powerful and terrible leader he was. Anytime she hit a tale of him in her books she had to put it away, and sleep at night was impossible, as an image of him would haunt her in her dreams. Thorin shuddered slightly even as brave a warrior was he was, he’d never dear tread into those lands “what business had you there?” he asked as the other dwarfs trembled slightly at the thought as well. “I was finding things out, as normal; and a nasty perilous business it was. Even I, only just escaped. I tried to save your father, but it was too late. He was witless and rootless, and had forgotten almost everything except the map and the key” Gandalf uttered nodding to the chain that Thorin wore, Pansy furrowed her brows in pity and shook her head “We have long ago paid the goblins of Moria, we must give a thought to the Necromancer.” Thorin stated, Pansy and a few others looked at him with confusion, Pansy rose to her feet “Don't be absurd! He is an enemy quite beyond the powers of all the dwarves put together, if they could all be collected again from the four corners of the world.” She paused, she knew she may have spoken out of turn but on she went “The one thing that is clear, is that your father wished was for his son to read the map and use the key. The dragon and the Mountain are more than big enough tasks for you” She said slowly Thorin locked eyes with her, and though she was greatly intimidated she held her ground. Many of the dwarfs flicked their eyes between the two. Fili leaned over to Kili snickering something in his ear. “Hear, hear!” Bilbo called out instantly the dwarfs turned to him and in one accord asked “hear what?” It was bilbo’s turn to shrink back a bit.

“Well, I should say that you ought to go East and have a look round. After all there is the Side-door, and dragons must sleep sometimes, I suppose. If you sit on the doorstep long enough, I daresay you will think of something. And well, don't you know, I think we have talked long enough for one night, if you see what I mean. What about bed, and an early start, and all that? I will give you a good breakfast before you go” Bilbo managed, Pansy had to admit she was quiet impressed with Bilbo, he was handling all this new fuss rather well, better than any other hobbits would have. Thorin looked down on Bilbo “Aren't you the burglar? And isn't sitting on the door-step your job, not to speak of getting inside the door? But I agree about bed and breakfast.” He said, Thorin turned to Pansy “I like eggs with my ham, when starting on a journey: fried not poached, and mind you don't break 'em.” He ordered, Pansy looked up at him dully “because I am a woman I am to be the cook?” She asked dryly, “is there any other way?” He asked Pansy sighed and shook her head “dwarf royalty so no I suppose not…how about the lot of you…any requests, while I’m at it?” Pansy asked and not a second to late the orders started to pour forth from the dwarfs. Pansy hurriedly grabbed and pen and paper and managed to get it all down.

Pansy helped Bilbo in fiding resting places within the Home for the Dwarfs to sleep. They bade beds out of sofa’s, chairs, and tables, using every extra blanket pillow and room they had extra. Once the dwarfs were settled Bilbo and Pansy headed to their own rooms. “Good night Pansy” Bilbo muttered completely worn out, and now he was not so sure about this journey business. Pansy smiled at him wide awake still her mind buzzing about with what was to come. “Oh Bilbo…Bilbo this is wonderful! Remember we’ve got to get up early to fix breakfast before we go” She said with a wide smile. “oh why bother” Bilbo muttered “they can’t leave until I’m ready anyway..and no one set in stone you were going at all” Bilbo added. Pansy frowned “…night Bilbo…” she said jadedly as he went into his room. She sighed and walked down the hall to her room passing by one of the spare rooms where Thorin, Fili and Kili rested she peeped her head inside the door “are you good on blankets, and such my lords?” She asked with a weary smile. “fine, thank you” Thorin called, Fili looked at Kili whom promptly rose his hand “I could go for an extra pillow” He said, Pansy nodded and walked into the room, reaching into a small pantry she pulled out an extra pillow and handed to him. “Here you go” She said heading back to the door. She licked her finger tips and put out the fire on the candle “Goodnight…I trust you all to sleep well…you’ve traveled very far” she said softly before taking her leave.

Pansy snuggled into her own little bed, and tried to find rest, but her mind kept racing going on and on. She hoped deep and in heart that by some happy chance, she too could go on this rand journey. As she tossed and turned in her bed, she could hear a deep tune sounding from the room next to her. She stopped to listen “Far over the misty mountains cold…To dungeons deep and caverns old…We must away, ere break of day, To find our long forgotten gold.” Thorin hummed, in a mumble the song was haunting, however all the same it lulled her to sleep, but in her slumber she fought great and terrible dreams.