'Cause the Hardest Part of This is Leaving You.

We walk down the aisle towards the back of the shop. Everyone can see me and their gaze burns. I'm not sure he's allowed to burn me like this. He might not be the store detective at all: he could be trying to get me somewhere lonely and quiet. I dig my heels in and grab hold of a shelf. It's difficult to breathe.
He hesitates. " Are you OK. Do you have asthma or something? "

I shut my eyes. " No. I'm . . . I don't want. . . " I can't finish. Too many words try and fall off my tongue. He frowns at me, get's out his pager and asks for assistance. Suddenly there is a woman who scurries up to us and she's wearing a name badge. Her names Alicia and she frowns at me. " I'll take it from here. " she says to the man and waves him away. " Come on. "
Near the pharmacy there's a secret door. You wouldn't know it was there if you were ordinary. Alicia shuts the door behind us. It's like the kind of room you find in police dramas from TV. It's tacky and cold.

" Sit down. " Alicia says. " Empty your pockets. "
I do as she tells me. The things I stole look cheep and crinkled on the table between us.

" Well, " she says. " I'd call that evidence now wouldn't I? "
I try crying but she doesn't fall for it. She passes me a tissue, though she can barely be bothered. She waits until I blow my nose to point out the bin.

" I need to ask you some questions, starting with your name. "
It takes ages. She want's all the details - age, address, Mom's phone number. She wants to know Dad's name, though I don't see why that's of any importance.

" You have a choice, " she says. " We can call your mother, of we can call the police. "
I decided to do something desperate. I take off Frank's jacket and begin to undo my shirt. Alicia merely blinks " I'm not very well, " I tell her. I slip my shirt off one shoulder and raise my arms to show her the metal disc under my armpit. " It's a portacath, an access disc for medical treatments. "

" Please put your shirt back on. "

" I want you to believe me. "

" I do believe you. "

" I've got acute lymphoblastic leukemia. You can phone up the hospital and ask. "

" Please put your shirt back on. "

" Do you even know what acute lymphoblastic leukemia is? "

"No, I'm afraid not. "

" It's cancer. "
But the c-word doesn't scare her and she calls my mom anyway. When I noticed the bruises on my spine, Mom took me to a doctor. The doctor said I shouldn't be this tired. The doctor said a lot of things.
When Mom turns up, she crouches next to my chair, cups my chin in her hands and makes me look right at her. She looks the saddest I've ever seen.

" Are you alright? "
She stands up and eyes Alicia behind her desk. " My son's not well. "

" He mentioned it. "

" And that doesn't make any difference? Are you people so incensitive? "
Alicia sighs. " You son was found concealing items with the intention of leaving the shop without any payments. "

" How do you know he wasn't going to pay? "

" There were items hidden in his jacket. "

It's not my jacket. It's Frank's. It's his fault for giving me a big jacket. Why did he even have a big jacket when he was such a small guy? Did he get it to be doing what I was doing? Would Frank even get caught?

" Intentions to steal is a crime Mrs. Way. This facility has had no dealings with him before, so the police are not involved. I do however, need to be very certain, that you will deal with the matter most seriously. "

" Yes, " she says. " I'll do that. " And helps me to stand up.
Alicia stands up to. " Do we have an understanding then? "
She looks confused. " I'm sorry. Do I need to give you any money? "

" Money? "

" For the things he stole. "

" No, no, you don't. "

" So can I take him home? "

" You will relate to him the seriousness of this matter? "
Mom turns to me. She speaks slowly, as if I'm suddenly stupid." Put your coat on, Gerard. It's cold outside. "