The Romantic & the Cynic

The next day and a half were nothing but awkward for Sky, Zayn and Louis by association. Sky knew she should be okay with Zayn's decision to return to friendship. She had told him she would be but now that she was faced with the reality of it it hurt her in a place that was very uncomfortable and harsh against her soul. She watched as he continued to make his way back into the fold with the other bandmates and a smile began to appear every once and awhile. She saw him glance at his phone a few times and a shadow of confusion flash across his face but he never answered it. She was pretty sure that it was Perrie calling but was unable to see the screen to confirm it.

The good thing was that the internet rumours about her relationship with Zayn and the other men had seemed to have calmed down and the paps had not shown up that morning when they had arrived at the studio. She hadn't talked to the guys yet but she planned on returning to the apartment when she got back from Austin. Part of it was to return to having a part of her life as normal and the other was to get some separation between herself and Zayn. She knew that when she mentioned it to them that they would insist she stayed but she needed to get out of the house and away from the turmoil.

Zayn had felt her hurt but didn't know how to fix it. What he wanted to do was bury his hands in her hair and claim her lips as his own but that would only return them to the same situation they were at before. So instead, he moved himself back into the rhythm of the group that he had been out of for what seemed like way to long. He laughed at everyone's jokes, listened to Liam's suggestions and recorded his parts of the songs that were taking shape. It felt good to be in the energy again and not sitting on the sidelines of it.

The other struggle was the still dribbling in phone calls that were being made by Perrie. At least a few times a day, she continued to try to reach out to him but he forced himself to decline the calls. He saw Sky's eyes deepen in concern when the calls came but he would quickly stuff the phone in his pocket and return back to whatever activity he was currently involved in.

Louis looked at both of them and shook his head. He wanted to stuff them both in a room and lock them in until they figured it out but he had to hold himself back. Zayn needed the comfort that Sky could provide to him, the comfort that he couldn't seem able to get from any of the other people in his life. And he didn't mean sexually. He meant mentally. She could be the soft pillow that he could rest his battered heart on for awhile, maybe for a long time. But until Zayn admitted it, the awkwardness would remain.

And Sky was no better. She was able to silkily get through to Zayn, sliding her way through the cracks in his defences with an unpracticed but simple ease. And Louis knew that she felt a connection with his friend. If she wanted to push herself through, she could. But she was scared. Scared to step over the line again because she was unsure of just how Zayn would react. Would he let himself at least dip his toes in or would he push her away again. She wasn't willing to find out.

It was Friday when they were packing up that he felt Sky come up beside him and putting her own things in the large bag that seemed to rarely leave her side. She was quietly humming to herself and chewing her lip, something that he had begun to notice she did when she was trying to figure something out in her head. He slipped on his jacket before turning towards her with a smile on his face.

"So, when are you heading out to Austin?"

Sky seemed startled when he spoke and quickly looked up to face him. "I am flying out in a few hours. I have to go back to the house with Rob and pack up my stuff before I catch the flight."

"You shouldn't need too much. You're only going for a couple of days," he said as he saw Zayn take a glance over at them. "How much do you need to take?" She was quiet and Louis gently nudged her shoulder. "Come on, you're not usually one to avoid talking."

Sky sighed and placed her last item in the bag. She zipped it up and slung it on her shoulder before looking down at the ground, her feet digging into the carpet and her arms crossed across her chest. Louis placed his hand under her chin and gently lifted it. Not asking anymore, he merely raised his eyebrows in question. She let out one more deep breath and finally looked him in the eyes.

"I'm going back to the apartment when I come back from Austin. The rumours have settled down and the paps seem to have lost interest so I figure it's safe for me to return. I'll get out of your space and we can get back to a normal working relationship." She said it very matter of factly but both of them heard Zayn’s name hanging between them. “I appreciate you guys letting me stay with you but I think it’s time for me to return back to the regularly scheduled programming.”

She was surprised to see the disappointment in his eyes, as if he had expected the arrangement to continue long past the need for it. He shoved his hands into his pocket and smiled at her weakly. “You don’t have to go you know. Everyone enjoys having you around and it gives you a chance to get some more of the at home shots that the fans love so much.”

Sky shook her head. “No, no. Maybe I can crash there for a few nights every once and awhile but I think I need to have my own space for now.” She looked at him with soft eagerness for him to understand the need behind the words. Watching Zayn since their confrontation had been exhausting and to return to the view after coming back from Austin just didn’t seem palatable. A few hours of rest and solitude after spending the day in his presence sounded like a glass of ice water in the middle of hell. “Do you guys have any plans for the weekend?”

“Not yet. But I am sure that Harry and Niall will come up with something to keep us occupied while you are far away. And I am also sure that it will include a series of alcoholic beverages as well.” Louis looked behind her and tilted his head forward. “I think your escort has arrived. You had better get headed out.”

Sky looked behind her and saw that Rob was indeed standing in the doorway, a look of slight annoyance on his face. Even though he had welcomed her as being a part of the caravan that was the extended family of One Direction, he couldn’t be happy about leaving this main charges to go to a wedding in Austin. She was pretty sure he was only doing it because Paul had given him no other option.

“I guess so,” she said as she wrapped her arms around Louis and felt his do the same. He squeezed her tightly and gave her a quick peck on her cheek before letting her go. “I’ll see you guys in a couple of days.”

“Sure,” he said as he waved hello at Rob. “Hey man, make sure she doesn’t get mobbed this weekend.”

“I will.” Rob gently tugged the bag from her side and threw it on his. “I’m going to head down and get this in the van. We should be leaving soon if you want to get to the house and back to the airport before the flight leaves.”

Sky nodded. “I’ll be down in a couple of minutes. I just want to say goodbye to the rest of the guys.” Rob moved towards the door with a look that told her that he wanted to get on the road before leaving the room and going downstairs. “I think I just pissed my escort off.”

“Nah, he’s just being his usual gracious self. Don’t worry about it. He’ll be fine once he gets on the plane and out of L.A..”

Sky wasn’t quite sure but it was out of her control, like so much other stuff at the moment, so she returned the peck on the cheek and went to say goodbye to the rest of the band.

Harry and Niall were hanging out in the studio itself as they tried to stake a quiet corner to work on a song. Both hugged her enthusiastically as she came up to them and said goodbye, making her promise not to cause any trouble while she was out of her sight. She swore as she made a cross on her chest before getting one last hug and asking where Liam was. He wasn’t one that she was looking forward to talking to but in the spirit of keeping the peace she knew she had to.

“He was talking to Danielle last I saw. I think he was out by the lounge,” Harry said as he pecked her cheek and gave her one last squeeze. “She was freaking out about something the press said so he was trying to calm her down before we kept on going.”

Sky felt her heart clench a little at the thought. It was a marvel to her that any of the boys could keep any type of a permanent relationship with the lives they led. Away from their homes for months at a time, teenagers and women screaming at them their undying love and devotion, money and fame unlocking doors to them that maybe should have remained closed. All of it would be a test to the core strength of any girlfriend. She had to have had moments where she doubted her boyfriends ability to not be drawn into any of it.

She waved goodbye to Harry and Niall and headed towards the front o the studio where he would probably be. She saw him sitting on one of the lush chairs with his head in his hands, his cellphone at his ear. She could see his foot tapping against the carpeted floor which was a sure sign that he was struggling to maintain a calmness for the person on the other end of the phone.

“I know Babe,” he said as he creased the bridge of his nose. “I know you get tired of it but you just need to hold on. We’ll be home as soon as we can and then we have a month off before anything goes crazy again. If you have a break coming up I can fly you out here and you can enjoy the sun and beach for a few days.” He paused for a moment and she saw a smidgen of tension escape his tense body. Danielle must have calmed down enough that it meant he could breathe a little easier. “I’ll talk to Paul and we’ll get it all arranged. I know once I tell everyone that they’ll be way beyond excited to see you.” He saw Sky then as she awkwardly tried to look like she wasn’t snooping on the conversation. “I love you too. I’ll let you know as soon as I talk to Paul. Bye babe.”

He hung up then and slid his phone into his pocket, tapping the seat beside him as an indication for her to sit down beside him. She did so gingerly. Even though he had given her his stamp of approval and decided to let her stay, it was still something that she didn’t quite trust yet. He had been kind and gracious to her all week but she had waited for him to change her mind and tell her not to come back from Austin.

“Dani just read a stupid article in the paper and I had to get her calmed down.” She saw a look of concern cross his face at the stress his girlfriend was going through and she knew he wanted to get on a plane and fly back at that exact moment but he couldn’t. He had to remain where he was and do his job. “They drive me crazy sometimes.”

“I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you when she comes out.”

Liam nodded and took a sip of the water he held in his hand. “So, I guess you’re on your way to Austin?”

“I am. Rob’s waiting for me outside.” Hugging him didn’t feel right unlike the others. Instead she held out her hand towards him. “Thank you for helping me arrange all of this.”

Liam stared at her hand and smirked before gently pressing it down and wrapping her in a hug. It wasn’t as tight as Louis or Harry but it felt just as genuine. He pressed a peck to her cheek before pulling away. “Don’t worry about it. You’re doing some amazing work so this is the least that I could do.”

“Thanks Liam.” Sky stood up and started to walk towards the door. She stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder for a moment. She turned to see Liam standing behind her. She looked at him quizzically. “Did you need anything else?”

“No, no. I just wanted …” Liam paused and struggled for his words, something that he never had done with her before. She waited for him to speak. Let him gather whatever it is he wanted to say. He did after a moment. “I just to make sure you understood that I am glad you ended up working with us. You are good with everyone and I can see you are passionate about the end product.”

“I am. I’m glad you can see that.”

“I do.” Another pause, another gathering of words. “I also see that you’ve been good with Zayn.” She was going to speak, to defend herself against what she wasn’t sure of but he held his hand. “Look, I might be distracted but I’m not blind. I can see the way he gravitates to you even though he fights it. You do too.” He took a step towards her and smiled softly. “I watch the two of you and it seems like it could be so much simpler a relationship than you want it to be.”

Sky shook her head but didn’t deny what he said. His trust of her depended on being honest in the moments she was dealing with him. Honest about what little she understood about where she found herself. “It’s not simple Liam. It’s complicated. He just broke up with Perrie and I have my own baggage. I’m leaving for the weekend and yet he’s barely talked to me today.”

Liam shrugged. “I know. He’s being a difficult prick because you confuse the hell out of him. It’s kind of funny to watch in some ways.” A twinkle popped in his eye for a second before he became serious Liam again. “Just promise me that you won’t let him push you out when you come back. Be his friend.”

“If he’ll let me. I’m not the one who is going to make the decision.”

“Okay, that’s all I can ask.” Liam returned back to the couch and pulled out his phone. “I had better get stuff arranged for Dani so I’ll see you on Monday.”

“See you Monday.” Sky waved and headed outside. She should have said goodbye to Zayn but she didn’t where he was and it was a convenient excuse for her to skip that one. She saw where Rob waited by the car they would be taking and started walking that way before she heard her name softly called. Called by a dark shot of a voice. Called by Zayn. She turned and saw him on the corner of the building. The same corner where she had sat with him the first day. She tried to make herself continue but her body betrayed her and she stopped as he came towards her.

As he approached, she saw a cigarette hanging from his fingertips and a scowl on his lips. He came towards her at a quick pace as if he was building confidence with each step. When he reached her, he took a deep drag on the cigarette before letting the smoke out of the corner of his mouth and stamping the cigarette out on the ground with his feet.

“So you’re getting ready to leave,” he said without looking at her.

“We have to go to the house in Malibu first but then it’s off to the airport.”

“Louis told me that you are moving back to the apartment when you come back from Austin.”

Sky tried to read the tone of his voice but it was hidden beneath the deep and growly edge. “That was plan. I was going to let you know when I got back.”

“After you had already moved your stuff back?” There it was, the hurt that was hidden beneath the growl. “I would feel better if you stayed in Malibu. We can protect you there.”

Sky tipped her head as she looked at him. “Yes, I’m moving it before I head back to Austin. And I don’t need the protection. The paps have gone away and there is no need for you guys to worry.” There was still the silent question though. “Besides, I thought we were ‘putting on the brakes’ and that some separation would be good. That if we kept on dancing on the blade that it would end badly. Wasn’t what you said twenty-four hours ago when I asked you to be honest with me and you were?”

Zayn took a step towards her, his hand reaching out towards her. “I still mean that. I think we need some space to take a breath again. But I also meant what I said about being friends. I enjoy hanging out with you. I know that you are a gift that I was given at a time I didn’t know I needed it and I want to make sure that you know I appreciate it.”

Sky breathed deeply as she took a glance towards the car where Rob waited. As she turned back, she felt Zayn step closer and place his hand on her arm. An intense spark of energy jumped between them but the contact remained as if they were testing to see if they could stand it without withdrawing. It remained for a few seconds before Zayn moved it down and wrapped it around her hand, transferring the energy as it moved.

“I have to get going to the airport,” she said as she felt her hand being squeezed gently in his. “I can’t miss the flight.”

“I know.” He finally dropped her hand and stuffed his own in his pockets. “I just needed to tell you that before you left. I’ve been wanting to tell you that all day. That and I’m going to miss my new friend. She’s going to come back to me, right? Even though I treat her like shit a lot of the time?”

Sky didn’t answer him. She couldn’t. Neither of them doubted whether or not she would come back to L.A. but would she come back ready to be what he needed her to be? She couldn’t say. Her emotions were battered and needed to be massaged and given time to recover before she could. Instead she turned from him and turned towards Rob, silently leaving Zayn in the parking lot with no answer for either of them on the questions that hung in the air.