Even Without Words

Vic

I looked over at Kellin who was hanging out in the grass with Gabe. I knew they would get along. I kicked the soccer ball at Jack pretty hard because he screamed.
“Someone’s distracted,” Jaime joked and poked me in the ribs. Tony laughed at the noise I made.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” I asked them as Jack wandered over to us too.
“You,” Tony laughed.
“That’s not funny!” I said and pushed him a little.
“Don’t worry, if he says anything important,” Jack started. “I’ll get Gabe to spill it later. Oh shit, we’re going to be late for dinner!”
So we all ran to the dining hall and made it just in time to get food. I piled my plate high but Kellin only had some French fries… It almost made me wonder. I let Kellin sit in my usual spot and pulled up a chair on the end beside him.
“For not talking, you’re making friends pretty quickly,” I said and smiled at him. He grinned back a little and he looked adorable, hiding under all his black hair. I barely ever got to see his eyes, I’m not even entirely sure what color they were… I do know that they were pretty though, because everything about Kellin is perfect.
He must’ve noticed me staring because he wrote in his notebook.
“I was just wondering how you manage to eat so little,” I said. It was half of the truth. I was worried that he would get sick from not eating enough but I was also kind of checking him out. He told me he was just never hungry.
After dinner a couple of us decided to watch a movie. We picked a scary movie and Gabe took full advantage of this to cuddle Jack who was helplessly frightened. I thought it was fucking hilarious that Jack was such a wuss. But then again, I’d probably do the same if Kellin were the one who was scared. Gabe and Jack were laying on the big couch whereas Jesse and Jaime were taking up the other couch so Kellin and I were on opposite ends of the love seat, right in front of the tv.
I couldn’t help but look over at Kellin every little once in a while, even though I couldn’t see too much because it was kinda dark. I saw him shaking a little and felt bad that he was having to sit through this.
“Hey Kellin, are you okay?” I whispered and watched him shake his head. I hit the spot beside me with my hand. “It’s not so scary if you’re with someone else, come here.”
To my surprise, he actually scooted over and hid in my shoulder. I lightly put my arm around him and figured I might as well enjoy it while it lasted. Who knows when I’m going to get a chance like this again.
I let Kellin go after the movie ended and he wrote that he was going to bed so I decided to go up with him. We quietly walked up the stairs and there was a noise from somewhere down the left side of the dorm. Kellin started hyperventilating again and I wondered if he had anxiety. It certainly looked like it. He managed to keep it together until we got in the room and there was shouting outside somewhere. He pretty much curled up on his bed in the fetal position and freaked out.
“Shhh Kellin,” I said and approached him cautiously. I didn’t want to scare him any more than I had to. I sat beside him and put a hand on his arm only to watch him jerk away and back up. “It’s okay Kellin, I’m not going to hurt you. I want to help you. Just calm down.”
I tried moving closer to him again and put a hand on his knee this time. He didn’t move away thing time so I pulled him into a hug and found out he was crying quietly. I rubbed his back a little and whispered comforting words. He hugged me back and cried some more before I decided to sing quietly to him. It wasn’t even a real song, it was mostly just humming. Eventually Kellin calmed down.
“Are you okay now?” I asked him and saw him nod a little. I patted his back one more time before reluctantly pulling away. He pulled me back and I just wrapped my arms around him again. I realised that it was a thank you hug after we both let go again. “Will you be okay for tonight?” I asked him quietly and watched him nod a little. I got up and grabbed my pajamas off my bed and went into the bathroom. I changed into the pants and decided against a shirt because it was kind of mild out and I liked being wrapped up in my blankets. When I walked out again, Kellin was snoring like a puppy under his red comforter, his hair sprawled out everywhere across his pillow. He was so adorable I almost couldn’t resist going over and fixing his hair myself. However I managed to resist the urge and walk calmly over to my bed. I pushed my clothes off and crawled in and tried for a very long time to fall asleep… Eventually it did happen though.
I was woken up at four in the morning because I’m a light sleeper. I heard sniffling coming from Kellin’s side of the room. I turned on the lamp to see him curled up under his covers so I walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me with tears in his big blue eyes. I didn’t even have to say anything, I just sat beside him and hugged him. This is the third time in the very short period he’s been here that I’ve gotten to comfort him. As selfish as it is, I couldn’t help but hope it becomes a habit.
“Was it the movie?” I asked him. Kellin just nodded gently. “Do you want to go back to sleep?” I looked down at him and he shook his head, no. “Well do you want to go downstairs and watch cartoons or something?” Kellin nodded again and we got up. I grabbed a sweatshirt before we both went down down the stairs and sat on one of the couches, Kellin clutching his notebook like his life depended on it.
Are we allowed down here at this hour? Kellin poked me with the spine of the notebook.
“Yeah, we don’t have really strict rules here,” I told him and flipped on the tv and found Family Guy.
Thank you Vic. He poked me again.
“Anytime Kellin,” I replied with a small grin.