Beauty Needs an Animal to Breathe

I stayed in the back lounge for the next couple of hours. I didn't move a muscle once. Then, I heard the bus door open. I could hear Kellin and Tony's voices. They came into the back lounge.

"Vic! Did you ever find Beau? You guys were supposed to be back a couple hours ago." Tony asked.

"Oh. I couldn't find him. I texted him an hour ago. He told me that he was busy with a couple of things with the band, so he couldn't come. And I kinda lost track of time." I said running a hand through my hair. That was shitty lie. Kellin and Tony exchanged confused looks.

"Okay then. Do you still wanna go out to eat with us?" Kellin asked.

I shook my head "Nah. You guys can go without me."

Tony raised an eyebrow "Are you sure? Do you want us to bring you back anything from the restaurant?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. And you don't have to bring anything back for me. I'm gonna get some food in a little while." I answered. They both nodded and left the bus. I leaned my head against the couch. Suddenly, I felt my phone buzz. I prayed that it was from Beau. Unfortunately, it wasn't. But this wasn't any of my friends. It was from an unknown number. Curious, I clicked 'Read'.

To: Vic
From: Unknown

Hey Vic! If you're able to, can you meet me at Starbucks in a couple of minutes. I need to talk to you as soon as possible. Hope you can make it:)!

- Andy

It was Chris's boyfriend Andy, well possibly ex boyfriend. He must've found out about Beau and Chris too. I grabbed my jacket and left the bus. I walked as fast as I could to Starbucks. I recognized Andy from outside. I walked inside. He was sitting in the last table in the corner. He had a coffee in front of him. He looked upset.

"Hey." I said while walking over to him.

"Hi." Andy said smiling. He gestured to the empty chair in front of him. I sat down.

"So, you know about..." I said. He nodded slowly. "When did you find out about this?"

"I found out the first night of tour." Andy said slowly.

My eyes widened "Really? How'd you find out?"

Andy took a sip of his coffee "I got a message from Ricky. It was a picture of Chris and Beau making out somewhere. When I saw it, I felt my heart shatter. I've been with the guy for fucking two years, almost three years and he just goes and does this to me. Ricky also told me that Chris begged him not to tell me about this. But Ricky said that I have a right to know about this. So, I waited for this date to confront him about all of this. We got into a huge fight after we hung out with you guys earlier. So, I ended it. I told him that we're done."

"I'm so sorry." I said reaching over and touching his arm.

Andy shrugged. "Do you have a place to live?" I asked.

"Yeah. My friend Ashley is letting me stay with him for a while until I can my own place. It's for the best."

"Did Chris ever tell you why him and Beau did...that?"

"Yeah. Chris told me that Beau kept complaining about you. He was fed up with your bitching and moaning. And that you two have been arguing a lot." Andy said.

"What an asshole." I said crossing my arms over my chest. I felt tears cloud my eyes. Andy nodded in agreement.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Andy asked.

I shrugged "I don't even know. I have to be on tour with him for another week. It's going to be so fucking painful. Then, I have to pack all of my shit up and find somewhere else to live. I don't even know if I'm gonna be okay anymore."

Andy got up and hugged me tightly "It's gonna be okay."

"I sure hope you're right." I said hugging him back tightly.

-----

A week had passed by. It was the last night of the tour. We were in Nevada. We were closing out the show tonight. I haven't told anybody that Beau and I were over. But, I feel like people have been suspicious. I haven't left the bus once. I haven't eaten or slept in the last couple of days. Seeing Beau just made me feel sick. He wouldn't look in my direction or speak to me. I hated him for what he did to me.

I was sitting in the back lounge on twitter. I was reading through my mentions and replying to some fans.

"Hey. Do you wanna get some lunch with me and the guys?" I heard Mike's voice from the bunk area.

"No. I'm not hungry." I answered, not bothering to look up from my phone. "Vic, you've said that to me a million times the last couple of days. You've been acting strange the last few days. Is everything okay?" Mike asked while coming into the back lounge with me.

"Everything is just peachy, Mike." I said.

"You're full of shit, Vic. There is something wrong." Mike said.

"I just said there's nothing wrong. Fuck, can you just drop it." I snapped.

"Did something happen between you and Beau or something? I haven't seen you guys together once this week."

My eyes filled with tears "Beau and I broke up last week."

Mike's eyes widened "What?! What happened?"

"I caught him having sex with Chris," I said slowly. My mind flashed back to when I walked in on them. A sick feeling washed over me.

"What a fucking asshole." Mike yelled. "I know," I said looking down at the floor. Suddenly, there was a knock on the bus door.

"If it's Beau, tell him I'm not here," I whispered while climbing into my bunk and closing the curtain. I opened it slightly so that I could sort of see. Mike walked over to the bus door and opened it.

"What the fuck do you want?" Mike said. By the tone of his voice, Beau must be at the door.

"I just need to talk to Vic." I heard Beau's voice. It sounded like he's been crying.

"Well, he doesn't wanna see you right now. He told me what happened between you guys. And all I have to say is wow. You're a lying piece of shit. I cannot believe you did that to Vic. And it's not the first time you did this either. After everything that you two have been through in the last year, you just go off and fuck somebody else. You make me fucking sick. Vic deserves so much better."

"I know. I'm sorry." Beau said.

"Yeah, you should be sorry. So do us a favor and get the fuck away from our bus." Mike said. He slammed the bus the door, making me jump.

"He's gone." Mike said walking back into the back lounge.

------

"How are you guys doing tonight?" I yelled into the microphone. The crowd cheered in response. Nevada's show was sold out tonight. The entire venue was packed with people. I don't think there was one open space.

"Good to hear, good to hear. Have you guys had an awesome time tonight?" The crowd cheered in response again. "We've got time for two more songs. I want to hear everybody in this entire venue sing along. This song is called 'Caraphernelia'."

"Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night
But there's just something about
This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy
Licking your fingers like you're done and
You've decided there is so much more than me. (Oh)
And baby honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake
I brought a gun and as the preacher tried to stop me,
Hold my heart it's beating for you anyway

What if I can't forget you? (Oh)
I'll burn your name into my throat
I'll be the fire that'll catch you
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole
Oh

Nobody prays for the heartless (No!)
Nobody gives another penny for the selfish
(You're learning how to taste what you kill now)
Don't mind me, I'm just reaching for your necklace
Talking to my mom about this little girl from Texas

What if I can't forget you? (Oh)
I'll burn your name into my throat
I'll be the fire that'll catch you
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole

Just give her back to me
You know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need
So baby what if I can't forget you? (What if I can't forget you?)
Collide invisible lips like a shadow on the wall and just throw, oh no
You can't just throw me away!"

Before I sang the next part, I saw somebody standing side stage. I squinted to get a better look at the person. It was Beau. He stood there, tears rolling down his cheeks. I felt tears cloud my eyes. I looked right at him and began to sing the next part.

"So what if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat
I'll be the fire that'll catch you
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What if I don't even want to

What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat
I'll be the fire that'll catch you
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole

Just give her back to me
You know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need
So baby what if I can't forget you? (What if I can't forget you?)
I'd better learn to live alone

What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What's so good about, what's so good about
What's so good about picking up the pieces?"

The crowd was going insane. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I wiped my eyes and smiled at the crowd.

"Thank you guys so much." I said smiling into the microphone.

-------

A few hours later, the buses were on their way back to California. The last show of the tour was incredible. Saying goodbye to everybody sucked. I said goodbye to the other guys in blessthefall. But I didn't see Beau at all. After we played Caraphernelia, he was gone. I just remembered I had to get my things at his apartment when we get back. That wasn't going to be fun. I changed into sweatpants and crawled into my bunk. I'll worry about this later.

"Vic...we're back in California." I heard Tony shaking me.

I slowly rolled out of my bunk "What time is it?"

"It's almost ten thirty." Tony said taking a sip of his coffee and skipping into the front lounge. I saw Kellin was sitting on the counter in the front lounge. Tony leaned in and kissed him on the lips. A smile formed on Kellin's face.

An hour later, the bus dropped me off at Beau's apartment. I took a deep breath and headed up to the second floor. I still had my key to the apartment. I unlocked the door and went inside. I saw Beau in the kitchen.

"Hey." I said. Beau turned around, his lips pressed into a thin line. "Hey."

I pointed at our room "I just came to get my things."

"Okay." Beau said. I walked into our room. I threw my bags on my bed and I packed whatever I had left in the apartment. I brought my things over to the door.

"Well, I'm leaving now."

"Okay. Bye." Beau said while going back into the kitchen. I opened the door and headed downstairs. I started walking to Austin and Alan's apartment. Maybe they have a spare bedroom I can stay in for the night. Suddenly, I felt something on my hand. I looked up at the sky. It started to rain. Wonderful.

It took me twenty minutes to get to Austin and Alan's. I set one of my bags down and knocked on the door. From inside, I could hear somebody giggling. It was Austin's laugh. The door swung open. Austin stood there. His hair was all messy and he was wrapped in what looked like sheets.

"Oh hi Vic! What are you doing here?" Austin said smiling.

"Do you mind if I stay with you guys for tonight?"

"Not at all. Why do you wanna...." He started. His eyes looked at all of my things at my feet. "Of course you can stay. You can stay for as long as you want."

I hugged him tightly "Thank you so much." I pulled away. "And...was I interrupting something?"

Austin's cheeks turned bright pink "Noooooo. Alan and I were just....sleeping."

It was silent for a minute. "Auuuusssstttttiiiiiinnnnn come back now. Meeeeeeoooowwwww," I heard Alan yell from down the hall.

"I'll be in a sec, beautiful." Austin sang as he helped me bring my things into the guest room. Once everything was inside, Austin skipped back into his room and the door closed.