Let the Walls Fall Down

“How the heck did they find out that I was in Orlando?” I groaned after my friend, Ashley Cooke, and I got into the SUV. I did my research and found out that All Time Low is in Florida right now so I hopped on a plane to try and get some help and took Ashley and my cousin, Priscilla, along for the adventure. I know I could have just called Alex, but I am using this as an excuse to get out of Los Angeles. But it seems like Orlando is no better with the damn paparazzi, those vicious people need to be shot. And why do they think my personal life is any of their business?

“They know what you’re doing before you even do it seems.” Ashley said in an annoyed tone.

“Ain’t that the truth.” I rolled my eyes and rested my head on the window.

“So you never told me what we are doing here.” She pointed out.

“To have some fun and get away from the dreadful city. Though I think that’s been a bust.” I told her but she knew I wasn’t telling the whole truth. She kept staring at me, trying to will the truth out of me with her death stare. I sighed, finally giving up. “That’s the partial truth; we are here to have fun. But I am here to see somebody.”

“What the hell?” she gasped out which made Pricilla sit up and give me a suspicious look Obviously they are jumping to conclusions and thinks I’m seeing somebody.

“Calm down, not like that. It’s one of Demi’s friends and he’s the only person that can help me get Demi her happily ever after. She’s done so much for me and I want to see her in a good, healthy relationship and the only guy that is worthy of that, is the one guy she can’t face. So I am here to seek out some help.” I explained to her.

“She’s lucky to have you as a friend.” She smiled at me. “We all are.”

I smiled at her then leaned over and rested my head on her shoulder. Once we got to our hotel we got changed, as I was about to do my make up my phone rang. I saw it was Dallas so I quickly picked it up. “Hey Dallas, what’s up?”

“Do you know how hard it is to get Demi to leave her damn phone for two seconds?” she stressed causing me to laugh. “Anyways I got Alex’s number; I will text it to you. But first off I want to make sure that you are okay.” I love Dallas; she’s seriously the big sister that I always wanted. Growing up as an only child is pretty boring, don’t get me wrong I love my mom and all the time I get to spend with her, but sometimes a kid needs a sibling. I was so excited earlier in the year when her and my step dad said they were having a baby; I was finally going to have a little sister. When my mom lost the baby, it devastated all of us. But I still have Dallas who is an amazing substitute sister.

“I’m okay. This trip will help get my mind off of things.” I told her.

“Trust me it will when you hang out with Alex and Jack, they will make you forget all of your problems. They are the most insane guys I have ever met in my life.” She laughed. “Just have fun and call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks, love you Dallas.” I told her then hung up my phone. “So you want to call a complete stranger for me?” I asked Ashley as I smiled nervously. I have met these guys a couple of times but it’s not like I really know them so this phone call is going to be really awkward. But I keep telling myself that this is for Demi and it helps a little bit.

“No this is your mission, I’m just along for the ride.” She laughed.

I rolled my eyes at her and picked up my phone when it alerted me of a text message. I programmed the number into my phone then called it. “Hey hey, party line how may I help you?” a voice answered the phone which made me laugh.

“Is this Alex?” I asked.

“Sure is. You sound hot, how may I help you?” he asked.

“This is Selena…”

“As in Selena Gomez?” he cut me off and sounded excited.

“The one and only.” I giggled. “I need to know where you are because I need your help.”

“Why? Did you finally realize you need a man and not a boy?” he snickered in a joking manner. I can see why Dallas said I would forget my problems, this guy is funny.

“Oh you know it.” I laughed. “No, but seriously, I need help for Demi.” The instant I said Demi’s name the line got quiet; I had to check my phone to make sure I didn’t lose service or something.

“I’m at the Disney resort hotel. Room 230.” He said in a monotone voice.

“Okay, I’m not that far away so I’ll see you soon.” I told him then hung up. We finished getting ready then went over to the Disney Hotel Resort. I was nervous to knock on the door, I know I shouldn’t be since Alex was expecting me, but I have no idea how to talk to these guys. I am a timid person, not a wild and crazy person like these guys. I’m not Demi, I can’t be like that, I don’t know how to be like that. Not unless I am with really close friends, and even then I’m shy to break out of my shell.

“Stop being a chicken shit.” Priscilla hissed then knocked on the door for me.

Alex’s eyes widened when he saw me standing there, like he wasn’t expecting me to show up. When he saw Priscilla and Ashley standing there with me he got a smirk on his face. “Now this is what I am talking about. Sexy girls showing up at my door. This is going to be one hell of a fun day.”

“Point me toward the alcohol and it will be a fun day.” Priscilla winked at him and I rolled my eyes. My cousin can be so ridiculous at times.

“I like her.” Alex laughed as he let us inside. “Make yourselves at home.”

“I’m just here to get your help for Demi.” I said uneasily. But Priscilla and Ashley were already making themselves comfortable.

“Selena, relax and have some fun. Didn’t you say this trip was to have fun?” she reminded me. She was right, this was supposed to be a fun trip to get my mind off of things so I need to just let loose for once in my life.

“You’re right.” I sighed as Priscilla handed me a shot glass filled with god knows what. “What is it?” I questioned.

“It’s tequila, now drink it so we can party.” She said excitedly. I have always envied my cousin. She never had a care in the world and was the life of the party. She made the holidays fun because she always thought up of something crazy to do. She was also my complete opposite, I was laid back and would rather stay at home and bake cookies, but I secretly wanted to be more like her. To be able to just have out of control fun and not worry what people would think of me. That’s why me and Demi were so close, we balanced each other out. I tamed her a bit and she made sure I had fun. So I guess it’s no time like the present to create a new me.

I grabbed the shot glad and quickly drank it. The alcohol burned all the way down, but for the first time in a very long time it made me feel completely alive. “That’s so awesome, I want another!” I laughed.

“Wait; before you drink anymore, just tell me that Demi isn’t cutting again because I will go kick her ass.” Alex said. His voice was full of concern. I know he cares a lot for Demi which is why I came to him for help.

“No, she’s doing really well in her recovery. She’s just tired of being alone, she’s finally ready to tackle the next step and be in a relationship. So I need your help fixing her up.” I told him then poured another shot and drank it.

“We both know that she hates to be set up on dates.” He chuckled then took the bottle away from me and took a swig from it.

Before I could respond to him I heard a voice from somewhere in the hotel suite say, “dude, I just rubbed an orange peel on my balls. They smell fruity now.” we all started laughed until he appeared in the main area of the suite, butt naked. Me, Ashley and Priscilla all quickly covered our eyes. “Holy crap! Selena Gomez is in our hotel room!” he yelled.

“Yes, Jack, I know. I am the one who invited her inside and now she is drinking our alcohol.” Alex informed him with amusement in voice.

“Why the hell didn’t you fucking tell me this, asshole?” Jack yelled. “I have to go get pretty for the girls.” He said then I heard footsteps so I peeked through my fingers and saw Jack’s bare butt leaving the room.

“He’s interesting.” Ashley laughed.

“We are a crazy bunch.” Alex smiled then took another drink of tequila. He offered me more and I gladly took another shot.

“Should we be letting her drink so much? Remember what happened last time.” Ashley asked concerned. The one and only time I have ever been drunk was at my home in Texas, Nick was there visiting a couple days after Christmas since he was in Dallas with his family. Priscilla persuaded us to drink some champagne and let’s just say in February I was having the worst scare of my life.

“She’ll be fine.” Priscilla rolled her eyes.

“I’m not going to do anything stupid, I promise Ashley.” I reassured her.

“Disney girl gone wild! Woo!” Jack came back into the room cheering.

“If you want to see me snort fake cocaine and smoke disgusting grass from a bong then you should see my next movie.” I winked at him.

“Is she serious?” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, she filmed this movie all about Spring break and she goes completely wild. It may be acting but it’s pretty damn entertaining.” Ashley laughed.

“Score!” Jack howled.

“Back to why I am here, there is a specific person I had in mind.” I started to say but once again was interrupted, this time by a knock at the door. “Damnit!” I yelled.

Alex went to answer the door. “What was so fucking important that we had to stop our Disneyland adventure to rush over here?” I heard a voice ask. I stopped dead in my tracks and I’m pretty sure my face went pale because I knew that voice. A voice I never thought I would hear again.

“Because I have a surprise for you.” Alex laughed like a school girl.

“Holy shit.” A girl said when she saw me. Pretty sure it’s Jess, but I never officially met her, I just remember stories from Chelsea. Brian soon appeared by her side along with another guy who I am unsure who he is.

“Have I died and gone to heaven?” the guy asked with wide eyes and a smile.

“What are you doing here?” Brian asked in surprise.

“Nice to see you too, Brian.” I said sarcastically as I picked up the bottle of tequila and took a big gulp.

“Wait, you two know each other?” Jack asked confused.

“I told you guys that I did. Alex told everyone at the show last night.” Brian retorted.

“I thought that was a joke.” Alex said honestly as he laughed.

“How the hell do you know her? And why did you never hook me up?” the other guy asked a bit annoyed. He was really cute to be honest.

“We met a few years ago at Chelsea’s birthday party. Brian was a bit tipsy and flirted with me a lot and even asked me out on a date. I of course said no because I had a boyfriend.” I explained, leaving out a few details. You see I saw Brian again about a year later. Nichole had a wrap party for Jonas L.A. and I was invited. It was insanely awkward considering me and Nick had broken up, but Demi eventually got me to go. Brian showed up and we ended up hooking up that night, but nobody knows about it.

“I told you guys, I have dibs on fucking everything.” Brian joked.

“Bullshit! I will still sword fight you.” the cutie told Brian.

“Stephen, dude, I’m telling you it’s probably incest so go away.” Brain pushed Stephen away playfully. So his name is Stephen, but how would me and him hooking up be incest? I am confused.

“No one will have dibs if I don’t get Alex Deleon’s phone number, like now!” I said sternly.

“That’s who you want to set Demi up with? You do know they have already dated?” Alex questioned.

“I know I have been friends with Demi since I was eight! And it was my bed that she cried on when she broke up with him because she felt horribly.” I snapped. “She misses him so much. And he was good for her. So I will do everything in my power to give her happiness. So with the amount of alcohol in my system right now, I will make out with the first person to give me his damn number!”

All of the guys started fumbling to get their phones causing all of the girls to laugh. Brian held up his phone first, with a very proud look on his face. “Gotta love speed dial!” he smiled brightly. “But there is one thing you should know.” His smile fell.

“What?” I asked nervously.

“He has a girlfriend.” He said quietly and sort of sadly.

“When the fuck did that happen?” Jess gasped in shock. I guess nobody knew about this because everyone was equally shocked.

“About a week ago.” Brian told her.

“Who is he dating?” I questioned.

“Someone you know actually.” He looked up at me nervously. What the hell is he talking about? I don’t think I know anyone who knows Alex outside of Demi and her family. Brain saw my confusion and answered my question without me asking. “Debby Ryan.”

My eyes widened in shock. I didn’t know they knew each other. Just great, there’s a bump in my plan, but I won’t let it stop me. “Just freaking great.” I grumbled as I ran my fingers through my hair. “I can’t tell Demi that so I will have to figure something out.”

“Don’t hurt my little sister, please.” Brian told me.

I squinted my eyes at him, “I won’t.” I said, but in all honesty, I make no promises.

“Now that is settled can we get this party started?” Priscilla said obnoxiously. But everyone cheered with excitement, including me.

The rest of the evening was pretty eventful. Somehow Stephen and Brian acquired foam swords and indeed had their sword fight, drunkenly I should add, for a chance to make out with me. Any other time I would find this offensive but it was quite hilarious, it might have to do with the alcohol I have drunk. Stephen won the sword fight and Brian kept saying that us kissing was somehow incestual. I learned it was because me and Stephen had the same last name, but neither one of us cared and ended up making out for a while. This was completely out of character for me. Aside from the one time I hooked up with Brian, which I only did because I was vulnerable over Nick breaking my heart once again, I’ve never done these things before. Bit I was having the time of my life and that was the whole point of this trip.

As the night progressed we had taken a bunch of pictures. My favorite was probably the one of me, Alex and Jack. I was bent over slightly, Jack was standing behind me holding my waist and it looked really inappropriate. Alex was standing in front of me and looked like he was cheering, while I had a fist full of his shirt in one hand and my other hand covered my mouth as I looked shocked. It was completely hilarious.

Ashley posted a picture of us, Pricilla, Jack and Brian singing obnoxiously to a Ke$ha song and another of the girls, Jack, Alex and Stephen acting really sassy, on instagram. And let’s just say this didn’t go over too well. Alfredo had seen them and showed them to Justin who proceeded to call me and started yelling at me.

“So you fucking cheated on me?” he yelled as soon as I answered the phone.

“What are you even talking about?” I slurred a little bit.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Selena. I saw the pictures of you with those guys. And I don’t know them, so you had to have cheated on me.” he yelled. “And I saw the alcohol in the background. Where are you? A hotel room?”

“First of all, it’s none of your damn business where I am! Secondly, these guys are my friends; I do know people that you don’t so buzz off. Thirdly, I never cheated on you and even if I hooked up with any of them right now it’s not cheating considering I broke up with you for cheating on me you dumbass!” I yelled angrily at him.

“So you have guy friends that I don’t know, that just proves my point that you were fooling around behind my back. And you try to act all innocent, but you’re just like every other girl, a slut.” His voice dripped with disgust. If he had been in front of me, I would have slapped him.

“Do not call me a slut because I never did anything behind your back. But you did prove to be like every other guy, a douche bag who hooks up with sluts just because he can.” I hung up my phone before he could respond because I couldn’t take his accusations any longer. I threw my phone across the room and stormed off to the bathroom, stumbling a few times in the process.

I locked the door behind me when I entered the bathroom. I held onto the sink and looked into the mirror; I had tears streaming down my face. My blood boiled because I was so angry. The nerve of Justin to accuse me of cheating on him when he’s the one who cheated on me. I also learned that he didn’t do it just one time either. I wanted to strangle him so bad, and that feeling scared me because I’ve never been a violent person. My next action scared me even more. I picked up a vase that was on the counter and threw it across the bathroom.

Seconds later there were several bangs on the bathroom door and everyone’s terrified voices begging for me to open up the door. But I just backed up until I was against the wall and slid down. I held my legs closely to my chest and just cried. “Selena, if you don’t open this door I will have one of these guys break it down!” Priscilla demanded. I just continued to block them all out.

“Just leave me alone!” I screamed through my tears. That’s when I saw all the broken glass on the floor. I never understood why Demi would harm herself the way she did, but in this moment I fully understood. The pain was too much and Justin’s words haunted me. I know he is wrong, I am not a slut, but he’s not the first person to ever tell me that. I picked up a piece of glass and held it to my wrist, but before I could press it into my flesh the door flew open and Jack stood there with the look of fear in his eyes, even more so after he saw what I was about to do.

“Drop it, right now!” he demanded and rushed to my side. And didn’t waste any time knocking the piece of glass out of my hand. “Don’t you ever do that, do you hear me?”

I broke down into tears and he hugged me tightly. “I just want one person to love me and not hurt me. Nick left me broken, countless times. Justin said I am a slut for being here. I have pushed a lot of my friends out of my life to make him happy. But I am not happy, why can’t I ever just be happy?”

Jack pulled away from me and grabbed ahold of my face, “I want you to listen to me closely, don’t ever put your happiness aside for anybody, especially a boy. You are the holder of your happiness, so just be you and don’t care what others think. And don’t ever let anyone call you a slut; no girl should ever be called that. You are beautiful, strong and obviously an awesome friend or else you wouldn’t be here trying to get back Demi’s happiness. Those guys who hurt you are douches and I will personally kick their asses if you want me to. Stick with us and we will be sure to point you in the direction of the right guys.”

“I understand why Demi loves you guys so much.” I tried to laugh but failed. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He kissed the top of my head. “Now lets get out of here, there are a lot of people who are very worried about you. Pretty sure your cousin is bitching out Justin.” He laughed.

I cleaned up my face then me and Jack went back to the main area of the hotel suite. We entered just in time to catch Priscilla telling Justin that if he ever speaks to me again that she will castrate him. You best believe that she will do it, my cousin is a feisty one. When she saw me she quickly came over and hugged me tightly. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again.” She reprimanded me.

“I won’t and I am sorry.” I hugged her back. “We should probably get going back to our hotel.”

“Nonsense. Just stay here, we all have to leave in the morning anyways. It’s late and you girls are probably tired, so just crash here.” Alex told us.

We agreed, mostly because we were still tipsy and we don’t need the paparazzi to catch us like that. Everyone either went to a room or laid down on a couch and quickly passed out, but I couldn’t sleep. There was a lounge chair by the balcony window so I grabbed a blanket and went over and sat down, looking out at the view. Today was a long day, but it has taught me so much not just about life but about myself. I am not just that girl who I am forced to be, I am wild and free, I have just been too scared to be that girl. Jack was right, I just need to be me and not care about the world. The kitchen area light flicked on causing me to jump. I turned around and saw a sleepy Brian walking in, I was confused to why he was still here, I thought he left with the rest of his band, but I guess not.

“Why are you still awake?” he asked me as he scratched the back of his neck.

“I couldn’t sleep, you?” I asked.

“I was worried about you actually.” He told me then came over and sat next to me.

“Why? You barely know me.” I was very confused.

“I know enough and after tonight I know that I like you, a lot. And you shouldn’t listen to that douche kid; you’re allowed to have friends who are guys. And even though you did get pretty wasted and make out with one of my best friends, I know you’re not a slut. You’re an amazing girl who deserves a lot better.” He said honestly.

“I’m not so sure about that. Why didn’t you tell anyone that we have had sex before?” I questioned. Any other guy would have blabbed to all of his friends.

“Because I don’t hook up and tell. Not all guys are assholes who go around cheering about the next notch in their belt.” He smiled at me.

“Thanks for that, not just because you saved my reputation but because you’ve shown me that not all guys are the same.” I smiled back. “Guys have screwed me over left and right that I have so many trust issues. I want to be the girl you saw today, the carefree and fun girl. But I have so much pressure to be this innocent girl who does no wrong. But if I change who I am perceived to be then I am a whore, but if I stay this person who I am supposed to be forever, then I am fake. I am in a lose, lose situation. It gets so overwhelming that I just want to disappear.”

“You can be both girls. Just because you have fun like a normal twenty year old girl, doesn’t mean you are not innocent. Because you really are, yes you have hooked up with guys and gotten drunk a few times. But what girl hasn’t? I have seen innocent girls and sometimes those are the worst girls because ninety percent of the time it is an act. The best you can do is just be you and if the world doesn’t like it then screw them at least you know you are being true to yourself and not being another fake Hollywood girl.” I looked at the honesty in his eyes I don’t know what came over me but I leaned in and kissed him. He was shocked at first but quickly kissed me back. He brought his hands to my face as he deepened the kiss. But as quickly as it started, it ended.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him confused, had I done something wrong?

“I don’t want to take advantage of you. I am not that kind of guy.” he explained.

“I want this, not because I am hurt and frustrated. But because you are one of the nice guys and I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt me for any reason.” I admitted.

“You are completely sure? I don’t want you to hate me in the morning.” He searched my eyes for any hesitation.

“I promise, this is what I want.” I smiled then kissed him again. Though I wanted this to happen, in the back of my mind I am thinking what the hell am I doing because I barely know this guy and I did have my heart set out on trying to see if there are any sparks still left with this other guy. But this is just sex, right? I can still see if things can work with this other guy even though I hook up with Brian, can’t I? In all honesty though, I could care less in this moment, I just wanted to be a normal girl that Priscilla gets to be for a change. And I wanted to live my life the way I want to and not the way others want me to. And that is exactly what I am going to do.