Sequel: Therapy ›
Status: This story is complete. Please note that certain chapters may act as a trigger, and if you feel yourself getting triggered at any time, I want you to stop and just breathe, okay? I'm only a message away if you need some random stranger to talk to.
If These Sheets Were States
Smile Like You Don't Give a Damn
"Just let it go, baby." Alex smiled as swept Bella's hair out of her face.
"Once again though, I don't know where to begin.."
"Like I said before, from the beginning. It's always the best place to start, so I've heard."
Bella sighed and shut her eyes, trying not to picture everything that happened that night.
"Right. Okay. I'm ready."
"Good. Go." Alex nodded, intrigued.
"A couple of years ago or so, it was just after my Mum died.. I went out with Paige and we managed to sneak into a nightclub. Don't ask me how because I really can't remember. But it was the greatest thing ever. We found these two guys and they kept buying us drinks, but they were only alcopop kinda drinks. It takes a lot for me to get drunk, like, it takes the really hard shit. But I got drunk really easily and I didn't know how -"
"Spiked?"
"Possibly. Anyway, we both got really drunk and one minute, all four of us were on the dancefloor, just having a good time. As you do in a nightclub. And the next thing I know, I'm outside in the cold air and he said he would walk me home. And I thanked him. And then.. I don't even remember. I don't want to."
"I think I can probably guess what you're about to say."
"Probably. He raped me, Alex. And I couldn't do anything about it, because I was underage and I was drunk and it would never have looked good. It wouldn't have gone my way."
"You don't know that." Alex gulped down the lump in his throat. To think of anyone hurting Bella killed him a bit inside, though he hated to admit it.
"Well we'll never know now, will we?" Bella smiled sadly. "It hurt, Alex. I'd had sex before, but nothing hurt like that did. Ever. It was horrible. He pulled my clothes off and I couldn't get away from him. He wouldn't let me go. My clothes were torn when he was done with me and I'd lost Paige, I had no idea where she was. At all. I remember stumbling my way home and just ringing her and she'd said how her one had.. tried to.. do the same. But she got away. Why was she so fucking lucky?" Bella burst into tears, knowing that she would always resent Paige that little bit, for being so headstrong, for being able to stick up for herself. For being able to fight back. Something Bella had never been able to do.
Alex grabbed Bella and pulled her into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her so tight, holding on as if she was about to be taken away from him. He would protect her, he knew he had to.
Bella lifted her head up to look Alex in the eye, tears smothered her cheeks and he wiped them away with his thumbs. "Now I feel bad for us having sex, haha." Alex laughed, trying to lighten the mood, even though it was partly true.
"Don't be silly. That was ..amazing. Too amazing for words.." Bella's words lingered as the memories from the other night filled her head. The memories from the other night and the memories from the back of her car. She bit her lip slightly, forgetting that Alex could see her. She shut her mouth quickly but Alex had already seen it.
He leaned in towards her and planted a kiss on her lips. She returned the gesture, biting his lip and keeping his face close to her's. The kiss deepened as their bodies moved. Bella moved backwards, lying down properly as Alex started to climb over her. He rested a leg in between her legs, holding the back of her head with his hand and kissing her softly. Bella moaned through the kiss as he bit her lip slowly, licking it, asking to be let in. Bella raised a leg as Alex moved his hand from her head to her leg, running it from her knee to her thigh and sending shivers down her spine.
Alex pushed his hand beyond the hem of her dress, reaching her hip and tightening his grip slightly as Bella moaned once again.
"Can we take it slow tonight? This sounds corny but.. I wanna show you what it's like.. to just feel." Alex rasped between panted breaths.
"Shut up and kiss me now." Bella demanded as she pulled his head back, smiling as his lips landed on her's. They started the kiss all over again, as Alex's hands explored Bella's body completely, just asking to be his.
"Once again though, I don't know where to begin.."
"Like I said before, from the beginning. It's always the best place to start, so I've heard."
Bella sighed and shut her eyes, trying not to picture everything that happened that night.
"Right. Okay. I'm ready."
"Good. Go." Alex nodded, intrigued.
"A couple of years ago or so, it was just after my Mum died.. I went out with Paige and we managed to sneak into a nightclub. Don't ask me how because I really can't remember. But it was the greatest thing ever. We found these two guys and they kept buying us drinks, but they were only alcopop kinda drinks. It takes a lot for me to get drunk, like, it takes the really hard shit. But I got drunk really easily and I didn't know how -"
"Spiked?"
"Possibly. Anyway, we both got really drunk and one minute, all four of us were on the dancefloor, just having a good time. As you do in a nightclub. And the next thing I know, I'm outside in the cold air and he said he would walk me home. And I thanked him. And then.. I don't even remember. I don't want to."
"I think I can probably guess what you're about to say."
"Probably. He raped me, Alex. And I couldn't do anything about it, because I was underage and I was drunk and it would never have looked good. It wouldn't have gone my way."
"You don't know that." Alex gulped down the lump in his throat. To think of anyone hurting Bella killed him a bit inside, though he hated to admit it.
"Well we'll never know now, will we?" Bella smiled sadly. "It hurt, Alex. I'd had sex before, but nothing hurt like that did. Ever. It was horrible. He pulled my clothes off and I couldn't get away from him. He wouldn't let me go. My clothes were torn when he was done with me and I'd lost Paige, I had no idea where she was. At all. I remember stumbling my way home and just ringing her and she'd said how her one had.. tried to.. do the same. But she got away. Why was she so fucking lucky?" Bella burst into tears, knowing that she would always resent Paige that little bit, for being so headstrong, for being able to stick up for herself. For being able to fight back. Something Bella had never been able to do.
Alex grabbed Bella and pulled her into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her so tight, holding on as if she was about to be taken away from him. He would protect her, he knew he had to.
Bella lifted her head up to look Alex in the eye, tears smothered her cheeks and he wiped them away with his thumbs. "Now I feel bad for us having sex, haha." Alex laughed, trying to lighten the mood, even though it was partly true.
"Don't be silly. That was ..amazing. Too amazing for words.." Bella's words lingered as the memories from the other night filled her head. The memories from the other night and the memories from the back of her car. She bit her lip slightly, forgetting that Alex could see her. She shut her mouth quickly but Alex had already seen it.
He leaned in towards her and planted a kiss on her lips. She returned the gesture, biting his lip and keeping his face close to her's. The kiss deepened as their bodies moved. Bella moved backwards, lying down properly as Alex started to climb over her. He rested a leg in between her legs, holding the back of her head with his hand and kissing her softly. Bella moaned through the kiss as he bit her lip slowly, licking it, asking to be let in. Bella raised a leg as Alex moved his hand from her head to her leg, running it from her knee to her thigh and sending shivers down her spine.
Alex pushed his hand beyond the hem of her dress, reaching her hip and tightening his grip slightly as Bella moaned once again.
"Can we take it slow tonight? This sounds corny but.. I wanna show you what it's like.. to just feel." Alex rasped between panted breaths.
"Shut up and kiss me now." Bella demanded as she pulled his head back, smiling as his lips landed on her's. They started the kiss all over again, as Alex's hands explored Bella's body completely, just asking to be his.