My Big Fat Fake Wedding

Monday Night Raw -Philadelphia, PA -December 19, 2011

We sit there on opposite ends of the couch with Cody looking at me. My arms cross I try my best to pay attention to Raw but Cody keeps talking. "Come on." He frowns. "How many times do I have to say sorry?"

I say nothing and ignore him. He lied. He said we were just going hang out as friends. No romance or anything related to our engagement and he lied. He picked out a romantic comedy and at the most romantic part, he grabs my hand.

On the screen CM Punk's music hits, and the WWE Champion makes his way down to the ring. He proclaims himself as the winner of the TLC PPV match, and STILL WWE Champion! The crowd lauds his success. Punk asks the crowd if they know the winner of the US Championship match. A graphic of Dolph Ziggler's face appears on the screen. Punk asks if he was him… or Zack Ryder? "Oh Radio…!" Zack Ryder makes his way down to the ring. Punk then asks the crowd if they know who won the TLC Chairs match for the World Title. Was it Big Show or Mark Henry? Well, it may have been Big Show, but the man to walk out with the Title was… Daniel Bryan!

The former Ring of Honor star makes his triumphant return to the city where he has had so many of his legendary matches, Philadelphia, and heads down to the ring. Punk says that it is so appropriate that Bryan and he are Champions in Philadelphia at the same time. It's the place where they first met ten years ago down the street at Murphy's Rec Center. That isn't to take anything away from Zack Ryder, which the crowd responds to with a few Woos.

Punk says that tonight isn't about himself; it's about the other two guys in the ring. Punk has said enough, it's time to hear from the two NEW Champions. Ryder says that he had to call his dad this morning just to ask if he really was the US Champion. His dad responded with a "Woo Woo Woo".

Bryan says that people never expected Punk to become Champion, but no one even thought that he would even make it into the WWE. People like Michael Cole have told him from the start he couldn't make it.

The Miz walks out onto the ramp in silence. First Dolph Ziggler, then Alberto Del Rio, come out to flank him. They walk down to the ring as a trio, and are looking for a fight. They try to enter the ring, but Ryder, Bryan and Punk, keep them on the outside. Ryder hits a somersault plancha to the outside, and all hell breaks loose once again.

John Laurinaitis then appears on the ramp and says that he gave all of these men opportunities at the PPV last night. Some capitalized, others did not. John says that's tonight main event will be a six man tag with all of these men. It will be Ryder, Punk & Bryan v. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler & Alberto Del Rio. John says that the crowd should consider this his Christmas present to the WWE audience, and then wishes the crowd Merry Christmas.
"Loser." I mutter. I feel Cody's gaze on me and sigh. He gets up off the couch and unexpectedly kneels in front of me.

"I'm sorry." He says. "What I did was stupid and I shouldn't have done it but I did….and I'm sorry." He grabs my hand dramatically. "Please oh please forgive me my love!" He exclaims. "I can't live without you!"

I try not to smile but I end up cracking one anyways. "You're such an idiot." I chuckle.

"Only but a fool for you." He smirks.

"I'm still mad at you."
"But…." He starts before grinning.

"Love is a many splendored thing! Love lifts us up where we belong… All you need is love!"

"Seriously Cody?"

"All you need is love…" He starts to sing.
"Cody…I'm warning you."
"All you need is love…"

"Cody I'm serious!"

"All you need is love…" He sings.

"Love is just a game." I sing back to him. He grins at me playing along. He stands up and holds out his hand.

"I was made for loving you baby…You were made for loving me!"
"The only way of loving me baby is to pay a lovely fee…" Standing up, I sing back pointing to my bare ring finger. When it's just Cody and I, I don't wear it.
Cody steps toward me. "Just one night…Give me just one night."
Chuckling I shake my head. "There's no way…Cause you can't pay."
I start to walk away from him and he grabs my hand. "In the name of love…One night in the name of love!"

"You crazy fool…" I half sing and half laugh. "I won't give in to you."
"Don't… He says. "…leave me this way….." He steps toward me and wraps his arms around me pulling me closer. "I can't survive without your sweet love, Oh baby don't leave me this way…."

Pushing him away I laugh. "There." He smiles. "That's the laugh I wanted." I look away from him. "Do you forgive me yet or do I have to sing a Hannah Montana song?"

"Okay!" I laugh. "I forgive you just please for the love of god don't sing a Hannah Montana song."

"Good." He laughs. "I don't know any anyways."

We sit back down on the couch and he grabs my legs and put them on his lap before we look back at the screen. It just came back from commercial and Kelly is in the ring. "What the…"
She smiles and waves to everyone before raising the microphone in her hand to her lips. "I won't bore you with anything and cut to the chase. Last night at the TLC PPV I came out after Cody's match with Booker T with an announcement. Check it out!" She signals to the TitanTron and it shows some footage from last night.

The clip ends with her whispering in Cody's ear and him nodding before she leaves smirking. She gets some whistles and she continues. "Later tonight as I promised, I will give my special announcement that I know all of you will like."

"Bitch." I mutter.

"And Charity…" She says. I turn my full attention to the screen. "If you're watching this, I'd watch out." She smiles and sets down the microphone before climbing out of the ring.
"What the…" Cody starts to say.
"I have no idea! What did she whisper to you last night anyways?"
"Nothing really." He shrugs. "Just asked me if you were watching."
That makes complete sense! That's why he nodded as he looked at me.

As soon as she's gone, Wade and Randy's match starts. They exchange blows and Orton backs Wade into the corner. He connects with his ten punches and follows with a hard clothesline. Cover, but Wade kicks out. Orton stomps across Wade's forearm, which sends him rolling out of the ring. Orton follows after and throws his head against the ring apron. Wade kicks him in the gut, and then lifts Orton into the air and drops him rib first across the barricade. Wade connects with a kick to the skull. Wade slides back into the ring .

Beats on Orton for a little while before he kicks Orton out of the ring, and then drives The Viper back first into the ring apron. Wade slides him in the ring and goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out. Wade applies a rear headlock then goes for Wasteland, but Orton reverses into a backbreaker! Orton takes him to the apron and sets up the suspended DDT. The move connects, and Orton begins to pound the mat! Wade gouges Orton in the eye, causing the referee to call for the DQ.

"You know who I haven't hung out with in a while?" Cody randomly says. I look over him and raise an eyebrow. "Ted."

As soon as he says his name I freeze up. Why all of a sudden would he bring Ted up?

"Oh?" I ask.
"Yeah. You know what….the three of us should hang out sometime." He smiles. "What do you say? For old times sake."

"Yeah…" I say pretending to be excited. "Sounds great."

I turn my attention to the screen. After the match, Wade continues the onslaught. He stomps and kicks him over and over. Wade hits the Winds of Change. Wade gets out of the ring, and grabs a table! Wade brings it in and sets it up in the middle of the ring. Wade connects with Wasteland straight through the table! Wade places his foot on Orton's chest in celebration.

Breaking my silence, Cody puts a hand on my leg. "So what do you want to do tonight?"

"I don't know." I shrug. Go back to the hotel and burrow under the blankets until this is all over.

"I have an idea." He smiles.

"It better not be like what happened last night or having sex."

"Well both are great ideas but not what I had in mind." He chuckles.

"Then what?"

"You'll see." He grins. "It's a surprise."

Speaking of surprises I remembered the test in my bag back at the hotel. Should I tell him now that I'm late and I might be pregnant with his kid. "Cody…" I start to say. He looks away from the screen and smiles at me. "What?"

"I…I…um…" I start to say but just can't do it. He's happy that I'm no longer mad at him and why ruin this moment.

"What?" He asks again since I'm not saying anything.

"I….I'm excited about the surprise!" I say with a fake smile. His smile widens.

"I know you'll love it. Trust me."

We look back at the screen once again as Cena's music hits. He enters the ring and says that apparently, there are some people who do not like him. Apparently, he can get under the skin of some people. Cena says that he can understand why The Rock doesn't like him. What Cena doesn't understand, is why there is a masked monster on the loose that chokeslammed him last week on RAW. Cena wants to believe that last week he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. But, if he wasn't, he is here to face his fears. Cena says that if last week was an accident, he will let it go. But, if it wasn't an accident, then they have business. Right now, they should handle that business!

Instead of Kane's music, Mark Henry's music hits. The World's Strongest Man limps his way in a walking boot down the ramp. Henry says that the business Cena needs to be concerned about is that Henry had him lying in the middle of the ring last week. If it wasn't for Kane, Cena would be the newest member of the Hall of Pain. Henry says that Cena is out here doing a monologue full of jokes. Henry has made it to the apron. He says he isn't in the mood for jokes; he lost his World Title last night. Henry is out here to address his injury and why he lost his match. Henry says that if he was Cena, he'd get out of his face. Cena looks ready to fight, but fire erupts!

Kane appears on the entrance ramp! The masked demon walks down to the ring, and heads around to the outside where Henry has found himself. Kane stares at Henry through his Predator mask, and then turns his attention towards John Cena. Kane enters the ring after removing his outer mask. Cena attacks him right away, and clotheslines Kane out of the ring. Kane grabs the feet of Cena and pulls him out of the ring. Cena goes flying over the announcers table! Kane grabs him again and continues the onslaught. Kane lays Cena across the announce table, smothers him with his glove, and then strips him of his shirt. Cena is hurt and confused as Kane leaves with the shirt in tow.

There's a knock on the door and a crew member peeks inside. "Cody." They say.
"Yes?"
"Your match is the one after next so you should get ready and get to Gorilla position."

"Alright." He nods. "Thank you."
Moving my legs from his lap he stands up and walks over to his bag. "I'll just watch this while you do that." I say turning to the TV.

"Okay." He chuckles. "Even though you've seen it all before."

I glare at him making him chuckle. He goes behind the couch to change and I watch as Primo & Epico with Rosa Mendes comes out for their match. The Usos are already in the ring and the bell dings.

A few minutes into the match there's another knock and I hear Cody talking to somebody before turning to me. "Come on Babe. We're needed." I look over the top of the couch giving him a weird look when he motions me over. I pick up his title and carry it over to him since he's already in his ring gear ready to go out.

"Where are we going?" I whisper as we head out of his locker room and down the hallway.

"Have to do an interview segment with Josh." He whispers back. I nod as we come up to the interviewing area where Josh Matthews is already standing there talking to the camera guy. We walk over and Josh says something to Cody before the camera guy starts to count down to start recording.

"Ladies and Gentlmen, please welcome my guest at this time… the Intercontinental Champion, Cody Rhodes." Josh says. The camera zooms out to reveal Cody with his title over his shoulder laughing.

"Cody how are you feeling just 24 hours removed from defeating Booker T at Tables, Ladders and Chairs?" He asks holding the microphone up to Cody.
"Josh, we to pretend that what I just saw of Santino Marella was the most ridiculous thing ever?" Cody replies. "Just as ridiculous as the notion of Booker T returning to the ring and defeating the man resurrected the Intercontinental Championship. But if we're talking the Royal Rumble, if anyone was to look into a crystal ball, you know what they'd see?" He looks up and points to his face. "They'd see this face emerging…" He stops and looks over to the side annoyed at Santino holding this box. He looks at a smiling Santino.

"'Tis the season for giving, Coby Rhodes!" Santino says. I try not to laugh at Cody being called Coby. "So before our match tonight, I'd like to give you this eh…Christimas present!" He looks away trying not to laugh.

"I don't want your Christmas present." Cody replies.

"Oh, you're right actually. You don't want this present. It is not a tie…it's not callognah…" He says mispronouncing cologne. "As a matter of fact…It's…" Santino pops his hand with a cobra sleeve out of the box making Cody jump. Cody seethes and Santino continues. "It's a Christmas cobra..Coby!"

He makes his hissing noises at Cody making me almost laugh before the camera zooms out again and Santino backs away. The camera faces an irritated Cody who watches him.

"Beware Coby….beware!" Santino loudly whispers. I put my hand over my mouth to muffle my laughter, until the camera shuts off.

After the segment is over Cody, Santino and I all walk over to the curtain and wait until the previous match ends and the athletes head back.

While they cut to commercial I disappear into Catering for a while before walking back. Cody and Santino are talking before they both start readying themselves. Cody's bouncing around a little warming up his muscles and calling out stuff he's going to do when I walk up. I tap him on the shoulder hand him the Reese's. He opens the little package and hands one to me while Santino's music plays and he heads out before popping the other in his mouth.

Santino ends his entrance and Cody's music plays. Grabbing his arm we walk out onto the stage and he does his usually entrance while I fan myself and look at him admiringly before rejoining him. We walk down the ramp and Cody yells at some of the whistles I get. We finish our entrance and I take Cody's title and hoodie while he stares down his opponent. The bell dings and the match starts.
Cody is strong at the start and backs Santino into the corner with a choke. Cody hits a Russian leg sweep. He stomps on the arm of Santino, working on the cobra arm. Santino gets back to his feet and goes for the Cobra! Cody ducks, and lifts him up for an Alabama Slam! He gets the three count and I climb into the ring and give him a celebratory kiss while holding up his title. "Good Job." I whisper before pulling away. We celebrate for a while before I climb out of the ring to boast about Cody's victory when…

Holla! Holla!

I turn to glare at the stage as Kelly starts down with a microphone in her hand.

"Hold on Charity!" She smiles earning cheers from the crowd. "I'm really glad you're here to witness my special announcement!"

I turn to one of the crew members at ringside. "Give me a mic!" I demand. They hand one to me and I turn my attention back to Kelly. "What the hell are you doing out her Kelly?" I holler.

She climbs into the ring where a confused Cody looks from Kelly to me.

"Like I said before. I'm here to give my special announcement!" She beams. "Let me remind you of something."

She motions to the TitanTron and we see the Mistletoe on a Pole match that we competed in on the November 29th episode of Smackdown. It shows me starting climbing the turnbuckle when Kelly runs up and pulls my legs off the ropes to I land face first into the thin padding covering the metal underneath. She then proceeds to climb over mm to retrieve the mistletoe and her music starts to play. The clip ends and she turns back to me.

She pulls the little mistletoe from the front of her dress and holds it up receiving more cheers. "Don't you even think about it!" I shriek.

"That's right, Charity!" She smirks. "I'm going to cash it in right now…" sshe turns to Cody and smiles. "On your fiancé, Cody!"

Dropping the mic in her hand she holds up the mistletoe near Cody's head and puts her other hand behind his head and pulls him toward her until their lips meet.

"No!" I yell into the mic before tossing it back to the crew member. Their kiss lasts way too long as I quickly climb the steps and get into the ring. They're still kissing when I get inside so I grab the back of her stupid blond hair and yank backwards before slapping her hard across the face. Caught offguard she stumbles back and I push her making her fall to the mat. Seething I turn to Cody who's trying to explain but I slap him hard across the face to and climb back out of the ring before storming off up the ramp.

Even though I just acted that way to play the part of the fiancé for the cameras, I could actually feel the jealously eating at me. He's my friend! Why should I feel jealous?

I make it back through curtain and try not to figure out why I feel the way I do. A few moments later Cody comes back through the curtain.

"Nice performance." He smiles.

My heartaches a little more just looking at him after that. "Yeah…thanks."

Noticing how I don't sound to happy he frowns. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I say. "Just a little surprised."

"Oh…" He says. Suddenly he realizes what's going on and smirks. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

I glare at him. "No!" I quickly defend.

He gives my arm a playful nudge. "Yeah you are."

"Shut up." I growl before starting towards catering. He jogs to catch up to me with a smirk still plastered on his face.

"Just admit it." He chuckles. "You don't like seeing me kiss other girls."

"For the last time I'm not jealous! I was a little annoyed at her audacity to come out after your match to do it and…" I stop and turn to him. "I'm annoyed that you two kissed for long. Kind of an oversell, don't you think?"

I turn around again and walk into the catering will Cody still by my side. "What could I do? She was holding my head in place so I couldn't do anything!"

"Whatever."

"Jeez! You're like a damn rollercoaster! Is it that time of the month or something?"

I stop in my tracks as soon as he says that. I remain silent. He's right. My mood has been a rollercoaster and poor Cody has had to deal with it.

"Well?" He asks wearily.

"I'm sorry." I say looking at him. "I know I've been a complete bitch to you lately and I'm sorry."

He nods slowly. "Thank you….I forgive you."

"Thank you." I give him a small smile. "Mind if I give you a hug?"

He chuckles and pulls me into a huge hug. "Not at all." He whispers. I don't what it is but just having his arms around me is comforting. I know none of this has been a cakewalk for him either and yet my attitude has just been making it worse on him.

"So…" I say. "Are you gonna tell me what the surprise is now?"

Chuckling he lets me go. "I see what you did there. Trying to butter me up so I give in and tell you." He grabs two waters from the little cooler next to one of the tables of food and hands me one. "Not gonna happen."

"Aww damn." I pout. "You foiled my plan."

He smiles at me and grabs my hand with his free one and we head back to his locker room for him to get changed.

While he showers, I watch the rest of the broadcast.

The Bella Twins are in the back with John Laurinaitis and David Otunga. They say that they don't appreciate the way Teddy Long was talking to them at the PPV last night. They begin to bicker. John says that the board is aware of that problem, they are looking into it. In the meantime, he'd like to wish them a very Merry Christmas. They thank him with pecks on the cheek. Vickie walks into the shot and is complaining about last night's happenings. Hornswoggle is on a chair behind her and has mistletoe in his hand. Vickie says she has nothing to do with that. 'Swoggle grabs Vickie, and plants a kiss on her lips! Vickie is left screaming as everyone walks out of the room chuckling.

"Gross." I chuckle to myself.

Next is a plug for WWE. com Interview with Zack Ryder & Father after his US Championship win before it switches to the interview area.

Josh Matthews is in the back with Big Show, and asks him about Daniel Bryan winning the Title last night. Show says that after 9 years he finally had the Title back in his hands. Show says that it is almost his fault, because he encouraged Bryan not to wait to WrestleMania and cash the case against Henry a couple of weeks ago. Show says that he has to give Bryan some credit, he is living his dream. Josh says that Show is a nice guy, but he can't be that nice. Josh points out that Big Show has a record that will probably never be broken – he is the shortest reigning World Heavyweight Champion in WWE History! Show looks a bit steamed and cracks his knuckles.

Cody comes back a few moments later already showered and dressed so I switch the TV off and stand up. Grabbing our stuff we walk out of the room holding hands in case anybody is watching. We walk out to the parking lot and get into our car and head out for Cody's surprise.

We come up to this building with a 'The AlleyCat Café' painted on the side. "The AlleyCat?" I ask. "This is the big surprise?"

He unbuckles his seatbelt and opens the door. "Just come on." He smiles before getting out of the car. I unbuckle my seatbelt as well and am about to open my door when he opens it for me.

I get out and he puts his hand on the small of my back nudging me forward. We get inside and a young girl, maybe from high school with golden blond hair with streaks of black walks over to us. "Hey! Welcome to The AllyCat. Just you two?"

"Yep." Cody smiles. "Just us."

She grabs two menus from a nearby table. "Follow me."

We follow her up the little staircase next to us to a table by one of the big picture windows. She sets down our menus when we sit down. "Here ya go…Can I get you two some drinks?"

I pick up the menu to find what drinks they have but Cody answers it for me. "Yes. We'll both a chai."

"Alright." She smiles. "I'll be right back."

As the girl walks back down the stairs I look over at Cody with a smirk. "Wow." I chuckle. "You really know what you're doing."

Looking up from his menu he smiles. "I did my research."

I look down at my menu and saw a bunch of things I wanted. The girl comes back a few moments later with a tray and sets two mugs in front of us. "Alright, Are you two ready to order?"

Cody looks up at me. "Find something?"

"I find a lot of things." I chuckle making them both laugh. "But I'll take the chocolate and peanut butter brownie." I smile handing the girl back the menu.

"Ooh. That sounds good." Cody says also handing back his menu. "I'll take a slice of peanut butter pie."

She nods and walks back down the steps and I look out the window at the people in the little alley. They're mostly high school students and a few adults. "Hey." I feel Cody tap my foot and look at him. "Try it." He motions to the light brown liquid in my mug before taking a sip of his.

I pick up my mug and bring it to my lips and take a sip. It tastes like a lighter, milkier version of hot chocolate. It tastes amazing!

We keep drinking until our food comes. As soon as the girl leaves I lick my lips. "Mmm….I love brownies."

"Me too." Taking his fork he take off a chuck and eats it. "Oh my god…"

"Jerk." I laugh. "This is MY brownie. Hands off."

I take a bite of my brownie and close my eyes. It tastes like a brownie version of a Reese's peanut butter cup."Oh my god…" I mutter. "Cody…"

"Yes?" He grins.

"I hate you soooooo much right now. This is delicious."

He laughs and puts his fork into his pie. "Try this." He holds up the fork and I take a bite.

"Mmm." I smile. "That's good."

We finish our food and our third mugs of chai before we pay for everything and get back in the car. "Well?" Cody smiles at me as he starts the car. "What did you think?"

"Okay okay." I smile. "You were right. I loved it."

"Told you you'd love it."

"Yes you did."

We drive back to the hotel talking about the food. We pull into the parking lot and walk back into the lobby before heading over to the lobby. We ride up to our floor in silence until the doors slide open and we step out. I unlock our door while Cody brings in the bags.

We change for bed and Cody starts to grab a pillow and blanket to make his bed on the floor. "Hey Cody." He looks up at me. "How about just for tonight, you sleep in the bed….with me."

He stares at me. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I smile. "You've done a lot for me today and deserve it."

"Thanks." He smiles. He sets his pillow and blanket back on ther bed and we both climb under the cover.

"No trying anything or you're back on the floor." I grin.

"Alright." He chuckles. He lies down and closes his eyes. "Cody…"

He opens his eyes to look at me. "What?"

Biting my lip I lean down to kiss him on the cheek right as he moves so I kiss him on the lips. I pull away blushing but smile. He gives me a confused look.

"Thanks for everything today Codes." I grin. "I had fun."

"Good." He smiles back. "I'm glad."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight."

I turn off the light and lie on my side with my back to him and close my eyes.