My Big Fat Fake Wedding

We rode in silence the entire way back to the hotel. "Oh come on. You're not still mad at me about the table incident are you?" He frowned. I ignored him as I tried to focus on the road. What he didn't know is what he said earlier was true. I did kind of like it…but I'm only human!

"Charity?" He placed his hand on mine. I looked down at his hand before moving mine.

"You're still an ass for doing that."

"I'm sorry…"

"You better be. I mean you are so lucky I'm not a man because something would have happened…."

"So you admit you liked it." He grinned. "But if you were a man, that definitely wouldn't have happened. Ever."

As he said this I couldn't help my crack a smile. "You were like a dog licking my leg. It was weird."

"So you're calling me an animal?"

I shook my head as we pulled into the hotel parking lot. We grabbed our stuff and headed inside.

"After you drop your stuff in your room, come to mine. We need to talk about a few things." I said as we stepped into the elevator. As I got to my room, I took out my key card before going inside. I tossed my bag on my bed before walking back over to the door and change our of my dirty clothes as I wait for Cody. After changing, I opened the door and stepped out to wait for him when I almost bumped into Kelly. I rolled my eyes as she gave me a dirty look.

"God! I must be a slut magnet or something because somehow I keep running into you." I comment.

She put her hands on her hips and scowls at me. "You know what? I don't believe that Cody and you are together. Why would he choose you over me?"

"Hm…maybe because I'm way better than you and don't sleep around with half the superstar locker room?" I shrugged.

Before she could say anything, Cody started to walk up.

"Cody baby! I missed you!" I exclaimed. I could feel Kelly staring daggers at me but I didn't care. To piss her off, I grabbed Cody by the front of his shirt and pulled him close and gave him a passionate kiss. He stood there stunned for a moment before wrapping his arms around me and going along with it. After a few moments, I pulled back and smirked at Kelly.

"Well if you don't mind, I'm going to go have loud passionate sex with my boyfriend in my room."

Both Kelly and Cody's jaw dropped as I said this.

"Come here you." I said with a mischievous grin. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him into my room before pushing him up again the wall and kissing him. As I kissed him I slowly closed the door with my foot, soaking up the satisfaction from the look on Kelly's face. As soon as the door was shut I went to pull away only to get pulled back in by Cody. I pushed him away and he stood there panting and smirking.

"Dude! What was that?" I exclaimed.

"I thought we were gonna have sex?"

"We are, but oh man did you see her face?" I laughed turning away from him. "Now her room is right next to mine so we'll have to do it on the bed…"

"Oh you want Kelly to hear us?" He grinned. "Damn you're kinky!"

I turned back to face him and my eyes widened as he started to undo his pants after unbuttoning his shirt. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting ready…unless you're one of those girls that like to strip the guy down yourself." He grinned. "If you are, by all means, go for it."

"What? No! We're not going to really have sex. We're going to fake like we are."

His grin faltered. "We're not?"

"Nope."

Grabbing his hand I led him over to the bed and hopped on. "Now come on. Get on."

He hesitated for a moment before sighing and joining me on the bed.

"Okay now grunt really loud."

He gave me an amused look. "Really?"

"Yeah really. Now grunt."

He started making grunting noises that sounded convincing. "Louder."

I shushed him as he started to laugh. "Groan louder. Moan too."

"Oh yeah! OH YEAH!" I moaned loudly. Cody started laughing messing up his groaning sounds until I kicked his leg. "Oh Cody! Yeah give it to me!" I practically yelled. I could feel myself blushing but continued. "Oooh yes! Oh my god!"

"Oh come on!" He whispered. "Is that all you got? I make girls say more than that. I'm better than what you make me sound." He smirked.

"I doubt that." I said as I rolled my eyes. "Now get on your hands and knees."

"What?"

"Get on your hands and knees."

"Oh now this is starting to get kinky." He chuckled as he did what he was told.

"Shut up." I laughed. I slapped his ass.

"Whoa!"

"Yeah you like that?" I said loudly.

"A little."

I smacked his ass harder making him move. "Ow!" He hissed. "Not so hard!"

I slapped him again trying to muffle my laughter as he winced a little. "Yeah, baby! You like that?"

"Not gonna lie, I am loving that." He grinned.

"Ew! No more of that then."

I stood up and grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him up. He lost his balance and whacked the wall before falling off the bed.

"Ow…."

"Come on get back up here!"

Wincing, he got back up and climbed back onto the bed. He used my leg to help him back up pausing on my upper thigh. He was already out of breath.

"Stand up."

He did as he was told and leaned against the wall.

"Bang on the wall and make sex noises."

We both jumped on the bed making it squeak while hitting the wall. "Oh yeah! That feeling so good! Oh Cody!" I said.

"Okay now hit your head on the wall because that happens a lot with the girls I sleep with." He says.

"What? No."

He bent down and grabbed my leg and tripped me so I fell backwards whacking my head. He continued to make noises and all while I glared at him.

"Why you little…" I quickly got up and speared him onto the bed. I sat on top of him as I started to beat him up. He tried to counter by switching making us fall on the bed. I continued to beat on him until I was tired and sat up. We stared at each other both out of breath.

"That's a great position you're in right now." He smirked.

I slapped him across the face before getting back up. Cody too got up and his shirt was slightly ripped, and his pants were undone and about to fall down.

"There at least you look like you had sex." I grinned.

He still looked half out of it but started to lean in for a kiss earning another slap. "No. But you should go get some sleep since you look tired out. We have a big day tomorrow."

I walked him to the door and as I opened it we had a small crowd outside. Mike, Randy, Kelly and Big Show were amongst the group.

"Damn Cody! I believe ya! I could hear that all from 4 rooms down!" Show laughed. I turned Cody around and kissed him with a smirk and slapped his ass. "Later baby. Can't wait until next time."

I shut the door after he walked out and bit my lip as I heard people complimenting him.