Long Live Us

The next day i went to see my therapist, which i was not looking forward to. I tryed to convince my mom that i was fine but she wasnt listening to me. We were sitting in the waiting room and then my therapist called us into her office.

"So Alex, long time no see. How's everything been?" my therapist Clara asked me

"Everythings fine" i said

"Well it cant be since your back here" she said

"Alex has been having panic attacks lately" my mom said

"Okay. And did you want to try medication?" Clara asked

"Yes" my mom said

"Alex?" Clara asked

"Honestly. No. I mean i know ive been having panic attacks but i dont think its severe enough to medicate" i said

"You passed out in school monday from one" my mom said

"I know. And when was the last time i passed out from one?. Like what 3 years ago?" i said

"Alex i think you should just try it out, your just constantly anxious and i dont like it" my mom said

"I dont like the thought of always being tired" i said

"Alex. I'll tell you the honest truth, it will make you tired and it will make you groggy. It might even make you sick but i definitely recommend it for your situation" Clara said

"Am i gonna be like that 24/7?" i asked

"At first. Once your body gets used to it you'll be fine" she said

"How long will it take to get used to it?" i asked

"It depends on the person" she said and i nodded

"Fine. I'll try it. But if i dont like it can i get tooken off?" i said

"Absolutely" Clara said

I got prescribed a high dose of a anti-axiety pill. I was not happy about it at all. The next morning i took the medicine and was sitting waiting for Jack to come pick me up, i was super exhausted.

"Did you take the medication?" my mom asked me

"Yes" i said

"Is it helping?" she asked

"Well if feeling tired and nauseous is considered working, its doing wonders" i said

"You'll be fine" she said

"Yeah" i said

"Hey" Jack said walking in the kitchen

"Hi" i said

"Ready for school?" he asked

"Only if you carry me to the car" i said

"It would be my pleasure!" he said picking me up and we went out to his car and he put me in the passenger seat before getting in the drivers seat

"Im tired" i said

"Why?" he asked pulling out of my driveway

"Anxiety medication, it sucks major dick. Dont ever take it!" i said

"Oh so you finally gave in?, are you at least less anxious?" he asked

"I dont know. I dont feel like i have time to be, im exhausted. And i just took the pill when i woke up!" i said

"Damn" he said

"I feel like im gonna throw up" i said sitting up

"Need me to pull over?" he asked

"Yeah-...wait...no im good, it passed" i said

"Good" he said

We got to school and went inside, i was not looking forward to today. All day i was pretending to listen in class, i felt horrible. In the middle of 6th period i fell asleep and was woken to somthing smacking my desk.

"Mr. Gaskarth!" the teacher yelled

"What?" i said startled and i sat up, i had drool on my cheek and the class was laughing at me. Well except for Rian

"No sleeping in class, save napping for home" she said

"Im sorry im just really tired" i said

"Go to bed earlier" she said, teachers suck, they have no sympathy

"Its my new medications side effects" i said looking over to Rian who just looked at me sympathetic

"And what kind of medication would this be?" she asked

"Anxiety medicine" i said

"Try to pay attention" she said

After school me, Jack and Elyse went to Elyses house. We were all sitting in the kitchen doing homework, we had science together. Later while we were all just hanging out her mom came home.

"Hey guys" her mom said

"Hi" we said

"So how was school?" she asked

"Good" we said

"Glad to hear it, anything exciting happen?" she asked

"Nothing really" Elyse said

"Cool. Are you okay Alex, you dont look good" her mom said

"Im fine" i said

"Your not getting sick right?" she asked

"No im not. Im just on anxiety medicine thats making me really out of it" i said

"Really?. Im a psychologist, what did they put you on exactly?" she asked

"Uhmm...some high dose of xanax i believe" i said

"High!?. How much do you weigh?" she asked

"Like 120 or something" i said

"Well. I definitely think thats to much. Some doctors just prescribe on the mental information, weight and everything else really needs to be considered" she said

"Yeah i can tell" i said

"Tell your mom you need a lower dose" she said

"Im just gonna tell her i wanna get off the medicine all together. Im not okay with this whole change its doing to me" i said

"Yeah its making you one pissy little girl" Jack said

"Shut up" i said

"Well i definitely think somthing should be done" she said

"Yeah" i said