Violence, Give Me Violence, ('Cause They Say We're the Worthless Ones)

Neil POV

Everything started when I was about fourteen years old. I moved to Ocala High School. I walked through the front doors, my anxiety taking over my whole body, making me breathe rather heavily. Everyone already knew I was gay, I decided to tell them that when I was being introduced at the school over that summer. That was a bad idea on my part. The jocks picked on me for being gay, and for dressing differently, they still do now. No, I do not dress up in pink button downs, scarfs, and nice shoes. I wear skinny jeans, shorts, converse, vans, and band tees, (mostly blink 182) I also have gauges. I know what you're thinking, fourteen and gauges? punk ass. No, actually my mother said I could start them on my birthday that year, which I did. Anyways, I was walking down the hall heading to my locker when a bunch of jocks pushed me on to the floor, calling me "faggot!" "cock sucker" "worthless homo" when I heard "HEY! Leave that kid alone, bastards!" Jeremy McKinnon, saved me from crying and getting beat up. Since that day we have been best friends, hardly ever leaving each others sides.

This leads us to today.

-

I texted Jeremy at around 1:30 in the morning, I was drunk on a school night, which wasn't a good idea. I was also having a mental break down.

Me; 1:29 a.m. "hey dud can i come ovr im freakn out"

Jeremy; 1:31 a.m. "ya come threw my window everyone is asleep, be quiet ill open it for you"

Me; 1:31 a.m. "thx dude ill be there in a sec"

Jeremy; 1:32 a.m. "okay c:"

-

Another good thing is that Jeremy and I live right next door to each other, and out rooms are on the bottom floor, right across the little yard from each others rooms. I snuck out my window, being sure to leave a little crack so I could get back in.

I literally sprinted over to Jeremy's house cause I was having a panic attack. Like Jeremy said he would be waiting for me. He helped me get in with as little noise as possible.

We walked over to his bed, I sat on the edge, my head in my hands and I started crying. Panicking even worse. Jeremy sat next to me, setting his hands around me, pulling me into him.

"shhhh, Neil, what's going on kid?" Jeremy asked. I looked up at him, finally moving my hands. His eyes showed he was concerned, and worried. I'm really thankful I have him in my life.

"J-Jeremy, I-I drank again tonight. A-and I was laying on my bed over thinking again a-about how I'm not good enough for anyone around here. A-and how bad I am at sch-school." I was sniffling and mumbling. Jeremy moved us farther onto his bed. We're now sitting cross legged, Jeremy still holding my hands in his.

"man, Neil.." he started, "You know I really want you to stop drinking, yeah? It's not helping with your attacks.. But, I think you're good enough, I think you're amazing... You're also a really good guitarist and singer. School is shit Neil... I'll help you threw your projects, and math.. Cause I know you hate anything to do with those two, yeah?" Jeremy says looking over to me.

By this time I've sobered up, "I know, Jer. It's just how I deal with all the s-shit... And I'm really not that great at s-singing.. But, thank you Jeremy.. You really know how to make me feel better..." My attack was slowly going away, as I stopped crying. "Could y-you s-sing to me, please?" I asked while hugging him.

"hey Neil, you've always got me, okay? And I just really need you to stay strong for me okay? I love ya, and of course... which song?" Jeremy smiles at me.

"I love ya too broski. I know, I know... And, Another Song About the Weekend?" I ask, I've always loved Jeremy's original songs. He's had me play guitar and sing with him before at talent shows which were fun.

"okay, haha, you've always loved that song..." We smile at each other. "but wait, are your parents going to be pissed that you're not home?" He was always worrying about me getting in trouble.

"No, if I fall asleep here it probably won't be for long, plus, its already 2:30 in the morning, we'd have to wake up for school in a bit so I can go over at 5:30." I say.

Jeremy just nods, then tells me to get settled with him on the bed.

I look at him and smile a bit, "siiiiiiiiinnngggg Jerrrrrr." I whisper.

"okay but I can't be too loud," He smiles.

"They keep playing sad songs on the radio
And I feel like I'm so alone
On this 15-hour drive
And all the while I tell myself to just believe
Cause nobody can give so much
And never get anything
(never get anything)

Everyone I used to know
Says they don't know what I've become
But I'm still the same
Not much has changed
I still know where I came from

I fell asleep with the lights on
And I can see that you’re the first one in a long time
That had some faith in me
(have faith in me)
Tell my friends we won’t be long
The Florida sun begs me to come back home
And it feels like I'm ready for anything
If you can wait for me"

He stops a minute and smiles at me because I'm joining in with him.

"And all the while I say too much of what I think
And I can't remember what it's like to find meaning in anything
For the life of me
Everyone I used to know
Says they don't know what I've become
But I'm still the same
Not much has changed
I still know where I came from

And all I ever wanted was so far from what I need
I'll write my songs, they'll sing along, and hope time heals everything

I fell asleep with the lights on
And I can see that you’re the first one in a long time
That had some faith in me
(have faith in me)
Tell my friends we won’t be long
The Florida sun begs me to come back home
And it feels like I'm ready for anything
If you can wait for me"

I start drifting off to sleep and Jeremy kept going. I finally fell asleep and what felt like only ten minutes later Jeremy was poking my cheek.

"Neil get upppp. You have ten minutes before your mom will check up on you." When he says that I jump up which I regret cause I have a tad hangover. I tip over a bit but Jeremy catches me.

"you okay man?" He asks.

"yeah just small hangover." He gives me the look he always gives me when he is sad but mad at the same time. "I know..." I say because I know exactly what he is thinking.

"Want me to give you a ride to school?" He asks.

"No I want to bike there" I say sarcastically, "yes I want a ride"

He just laughs at me and says "dude get going your mom will be pissed."

"oh shit yeah!" I smile and jump out his window the short distance to the ground.

-
Jeremy and I are at school now. Which is hell. I'm failing every class and I am probably going to get held back, but right now I honestly have no fucks to give.
-

Jeremy's POV;

Last night I was really worried about Neil. He means so much to me, and is really the only friend I have these days. I don't mind that he is my only friend, I just wish he would stop drinking. He is 17 years old and I really want him to be okay.

I was in my music class when my phone went off. "All along we talked of forever
I kind of think that we won't get better
It's the longest start, but the end's not too far away
Did you know I'm here to stay?" After Midnight by Blink 182 - Neil's Ringtone.

Everyone looked at me, thank god the teacher knows this ringtone is Neil's and that I need to help him when he needs help. I smiled up at the teacher and she mouthed 'take care of him' i nodded.

The text said "bathroom by your locker. now."

I texted back an okay and for him to sit down.

Walked to the teachers desk and said " I need to go check on him" She looked at me with a knowing look and said "go take care of him ill have your guys' passes." I quickly thanked her and ran to that bathroom.

"Neil!" "Neil, mad what's up?" I asked out of breath.

He was shaking, "please take me back to your house I'll explain there. I can't take this."

"okay c'mere." I grabbed his hands. I went back to the music room telling the teacher the situation and getting our hall passes.

-

We got back to my house and Neil was hugging me and crying, "Neil... Please tell me what's wrong?"