Wasted.

When Jordan kissed me, I think I may have fainted for a split second.

We end up ditching school and walking back to my house. Jordan was sat on my bed and I was just strumming along on my guitar, humming softly.

"Tony sing to me." Jordan mumbled into the blankets. I looked up at him, feeling my face get warmer.

"I-I'm not much of a singer, Jord..." I said, until my oh so lovely brother decided to fly down the stairs.

"I AM! And I know Tony has some lyrics in a book of his, let me just find it and I will sing and he'll play!" I almost choked. The only person that had ever seen my lyrics was Vic, and he only gave me pointers on where things could use work, he even used some of them sometimes.

"Jaime, I don't think that's necessary..." I mumbled - clearly miserable. Jordan smiled; "Please Ton! I wanna hear some of it!"

I couldn't say no to his big blue eyes, god they kill me. I picked up my acoustic, giving Jaime my book and him flipping through the pages.

"Ou! This one?" He beamed. I nodded, strumming the first few cords.

"I just finished this up a few days ago, so don't judge - Vic hasn't looked at it yet." Jordan giggled. I continued to strum until Jaime sang.

I'm missing you so much, I'll say you died tonight
Just so I can get to you before the sun will rise
I know these times are hard and I feel this too
None of that ever seems to matter when I'm holding you

And I'm wasting away, away from you
And I'm wasting away, away from you

I looked up from my guitar to see Jordan looking at me. I locked eye contact, continuing to listen to Jaime.

What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to

You had me at hello.

I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours
It's simply radiant, I see it more with everyday that goes by
I watch the clock to make my timing just right

Would it be okay,
Would it be okay if I took your breath away?

Jordan smiled. I melted a tiny bit.

And I'm wasting away, away from you
And I'm wasting away, away from you
What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to

You had me at hello.

You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)
You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)
You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)
You gave me butterflies (you had me at hello)

You gave me butterflies (you are so you)
At the mailbox (you had me at hello)
You gave me butterflies (you are so you)
At the mailbox (you had me at hello)
You had me at hello.
You gave me butterflies (you are so you)
At the mailbox (you had me at hello)
You gave me butterflies (you are so you)
At the mailbox (you had me at hello)

What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to

You had me at hello

I finished strumming, finally breaking eye contact with Jordan. We were all silent.

"I wrote that for you." I looked up to Jordan, my words destroying the silence. He just nodded. I felt a pang in my heart. That's it?

"That's a really good song Ton, I'm gonna go to my room though.." Jaime said, tensely. I nodded, still staring at Jordan. Was he going to say anything at all?

"I think I better go home Tony."

Fucking classic.

"O-okay.. will you be in History tomorrow?" He just nodded, walking up the stairs. I heard the door close, and I lost it.

Tears in my eyes and clenched fist I stormed up the basement stairs and up to the second floor into my brothers room.

"THIS IS WHY I NEVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT SHIT. I FUCKING HATE FEELINGS AND I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE. WHY CAN'T I JUST BE FUCKING HAPPY." I shouted. He jumped when I started to yell, but he soon realized I wasn't mad at him.

"YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID? HE SAID NOTHING AND JUST LEFT. I OPENED UP AND I STILL FUCKING LOOSE." I punched the wall hard, collapsing into the same wall, I let the tears fall freely.

Jaime sat with me and put his arm around me. I sobbed into his shoulder, harder and harder with every second.

"I'm gonna go call the boys and tell 'em to come over. Why don't you go lay down and I'll get them to come see you, okay?" I just nodded, following Jaime out, and then down the stairs. I flopped my face into my bed.

The bed just smelt like him. I screamed and ripped off all of the covers, throwing them away from me. I still had a while before the boys got here...

I quickly went to my dresser, pulling out the razor from underneath my sweaters. I raised my sleeve and made a slow, deep cut. I felt tears prick my eyes as I made more shallower ones across my wrist.

"TONY!" someone screeched. I looked up to see my tall lanky best friend staring at me - tears in his eyes. I muttered a "fuck" under my breath.

I collapsed onto the floor. Why did I have to fuck up everyones lives? He came running to me, cuddling me into his arms, rocking me back and forth. His tears fell onto me, and mine just continued to rush.

"I'm so fucking sorry Mikey." I whimpered. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me, nodding his head. "Don't, it okay Tony, it's okay." Vic soon rushed down the stairs and Jaime slowly after him. Why did Vic get here after Mike?

"Hey bud, why are your sheets all over the place?" I sobbed hard. "They smelt like him.." I whispered. He nodded, kissing my forehead. "Common, lets go watch some movies." Jaime said. I nodded, standing up and following the boys up the stairs. I walked to the bathroom and cleaned my wrist up before returning downstairs.

I scurried and sat on Jaime's lap, who was sitting between the Fuentes boys. I snuggled into his chest and watched the movie on the screen til I fell asleep.