Rebel Yell
For You
“I hate myself,” I cry shoving my face into the soft pillow avoiding Ashley’s glaring eyes “I hate my large thighs, I hate the way my stomach sticks out too far making me look damn pregnant, I hate the fact my chest is too flat I might as well be a guy, I hate that my hair never looks the way it should, I hate my skin it revolting, I’d die for your cheek bones unlike my non-existent ones.” I babble on in between sobbing into the dampening pillow. “I hate the way you guys treat me like I’m something special when I’m not Ashley, I’m not!” I yell tears now streaming down my face I roll back over to see him staring down him at me with his jaw dropped just gawping. “I understand if you want to run back to your band mates, just go everyone does!” I whimper before getting and running into the ensuite locking the door behind me. My knees were trembling I could hardly take it anymore. I slowly collapse to the floor sliding down against the side of the bath bursting into uncontrollable sobbing. He’s never coming back now he’ll run just you watch. Who would something so disgusting when he can have anybody he wants with a click of his fingers. Just then I heard the door of the hotel room slam. He was gone.
*Ashley’s POV*
“Why Scar?” I choke out between whimpers. “Why would you do this to yourself?” I look up at her pretty little face it was plastered with shock and horror. Her silky golden locks flows down by side. “Why?” I whisper gently. I’m shell shocked what do I say or do? She’s beautiful doesn’t she see that?
“I hate myself,” she cries shoving her face into the pillow “I hate my large thighs, I hate the way my stomach sticks out too far making me look damn pregnant, I hate the fact my chest is too flat I might as well be a guy, I hate that my hair never looks the way it should, I hate my skin it revolting, I’d die for your cheek bones unlike my non-existent ones.” She babbles on in between sobbing into the black silk pillow. “I hate the way you guys treat me like I’m something special when I’m not Ashley, I’m not!” She yells rolling back over I just sit there staring at her with my jaw dropped just gawping like a damn idiot. “I understand if you want to run back to your band mates, just go everyone does!” she whimpers before getting and running into the ensuite I hear lock turn behind her.
I sit there in utter shock. Why? Why would she do that…think that why? She’s a pretty girl no scrap that, beautiful. I remember this morning when I woke up turning over to see her bent over pulling on cowboy boots. She has an amazing figure way too skinny I must admit but with a bit of weight put back on she’d be perfect seriously. She has such a little angelic face honestly. I kicked myself for pulling her while I was drunk even more so when I found out she was BVB fan. Then seeing that her perfect stomach starved, carved into. It makes me feel physically sick. I stumble out of the hotel room tears streaming down my face. I need CC he’ll know what to do.
I reach CC hotel room “169,” I read aloud the number I couldn’t help but chuckle even in my upset. “Chuppy!” I yell while banging on the wooden door just as it quickly swung open. I fell through the door face first landing on the rough carpet while Chuppy just watch with amusement on his face. “Alright down there, man?” he sniggers trying the hardest not to laugh I can tell. “No, it’s Scar we need to talk about Scar.” I spoke urgency filling my voice now wasn’t the time for our usual silliness. He swiftly held his hand out pulling me to his feet. “Yeah, what about Scar?” he voices softly as we sat on the rather uncomfortable couch together. “She…she didn’t eat…she has words carved into her stomach man. She hates everything about herself but she’s beautiful.” I shove my head into my hands. “She’s bloody beautiful.” I mumble under my breath. “Whoa, man you like her.” CC notes with a smug look on his face. “Really dude? I tell her how she starves herself and cut full damn words into herself and you can think of is I like her!” I exclaim in desperation. Seriously chuppy I thought to myself shaking my head in disbelief. “Where is she?” he mumbles looking around the hotel room as if she’ll suddenly appear. “She locked herself in the bathroom.” I sigh heavily while looking over at Chuppy his face saying it all shock, horror and most of all sadness this girl had done this to herself. “You should go back comfort her, try and get her to eat something!” he chirps with that I get up giving him a brotherly hug and head back to her. My Scar.
I unlock the hotel room door and step in. “Scar.” I say loudly hoping she’ll come out. I slowly tread closer to the tatty bathroom door. I can hear her sobbing loudly inside. It’s tearing my heart apart just standing here listen every whimper was a dagger to my sore my heart. Aching for her. I turn the brass door handle in hope it would open thankfully it did she must of unlocked it I note to myself. She was leaning against the bathtub shaking like a leaf, her eyes are bright red, she look like a deer in highlights as I walk in. Tears were still pouring down a face. I couldn’t help but stand there with tears freely flowing myself. I quickly pull myself together pace over towards her little body picking her up from the cold hard floor bridal style and holding her against me. I softly peck her little nose. “You don’t realize how perfect you are to us, me.” I whisper to her resting my head against hers and quickly pressing my lips to hers. She trails her tiny childlike hand through my hair to my cheek caressing it gently. She has a mixture of curiosity and terror in her sparkly sapphire eyes. “I’m not running anywhere Scar,” I sigh walking out the small bathroom with her still resting in my arms I slowly lower her onto the bed “Not without you.”
I grab her guitar that was set at the edge of the bed and started playing the morticians daughter.
I open my lungs, dear
I sing this song at funerals, no rush
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush
A baby boy you've held so tightly
This pain it visits almost nightly
Missing hotel beds
I feel your touch
I will await, dear
A patience of eternity, my crush
A universal still, no rust
No dust will ever grow on this frame
One million years, and I will say your name
I love you more than I can ever scream
We booked our flight those years ago
I said I loved you as I left you
Regrets still haunt my hollow head
But I promised you that I will see you again, again
I sit here and smile, dear
I smile because I think of you and I blush
These bleeding hollow dials, this fuss
Fuss is made of miles and travel
Roadways are but stones and gravel
A bleeding heart can conquer every crutch
We booked our flight those years ago
You said you loved me as you left me
Regrets still haunt your saddened head
But I promised you I will see you
We booked our flight those years ago
I said I loved you as I left you
Regrets no longer in my head
But I promised you and now I'm home again
Again
Again
I'm home again
Again
Again
I'm home again
When I finish she seem much calmer she was looking up at me with her pretty sapphire eyes I’ve learnt carry so much hurt. “Will you teach me to play that?” she whispers seeming unsure of herself. “Of course I will on one condition.” I smile at her. “What?” she asks as she slowly sits herself up on the double bed. “You have to try and eat you also need to stop this,” I tug gently on her top gesturing her Scars “Starting tonight for me.” I grab the pizza box sitting it on the bed her face expressing pure terror of the thought of having to eat. “For me Scar.” I remind her. She gulps nodding “For you.”
*Ashley’s POV*
“Why Scar?” I choke out between whimpers. “Why would you do this to yourself?” I look up at her pretty little face it was plastered with shock and horror. Her silky golden locks flows down by side. “Why?” I whisper gently. I’m shell shocked what do I say or do? She’s beautiful doesn’t she see that?
“I hate myself,” she cries shoving her face into the pillow “I hate my large thighs, I hate the way my stomach sticks out too far making me look damn pregnant, I hate the fact my chest is too flat I might as well be a guy, I hate that my hair never looks the way it should, I hate my skin it revolting, I’d die for your cheek bones unlike my non-existent ones.” She babbles on in between sobbing into the black silk pillow. “I hate the way you guys treat me like I’m something special when I’m not Ashley, I’m not!” She yells rolling back over I just sit there staring at her with my jaw dropped just gawping like a damn idiot. “I understand if you want to run back to your band mates, just go everyone does!” she whimpers before getting and running into the ensuite I hear lock turn behind her.
I sit there in utter shock. Why? Why would she do that…think that why? She’s a pretty girl no scrap that, beautiful. I remember this morning when I woke up turning over to see her bent over pulling on cowboy boots. She has an amazing figure way too skinny I must admit but with a bit of weight put back on she’d be perfect seriously. She has such a little angelic face honestly. I kicked myself for pulling her while I was drunk even more so when I found out she was BVB fan. Then seeing that her perfect stomach starved, carved into. It makes me feel physically sick. I stumble out of the hotel room tears streaming down my face. I need CC he’ll know what to do.
I reach CC hotel room “169,” I read aloud the number I couldn’t help but chuckle even in my upset. “Chuppy!” I yell while banging on the wooden door just as it quickly swung open. I fell through the door face first landing on the rough carpet while Chuppy just watch with amusement on his face. “Alright down there, man?” he sniggers trying the hardest not to laugh I can tell. “No, it’s Scar we need to talk about Scar.” I spoke urgency filling my voice now wasn’t the time for our usual silliness. He swiftly held his hand out pulling me to his feet. “Yeah, what about Scar?” he voices softly as we sat on the rather uncomfortable couch together. “She…she didn’t eat…she has words carved into her stomach man. She hates everything about herself but she’s beautiful.” I shove my head into my hands. “She’s bloody beautiful.” I mumble under my breath. “Whoa, man you like her.” CC notes with a smug look on his face. “Really dude? I tell her how she starves herself and cut full damn words into herself and you can think of is I like her!” I exclaim in desperation. Seriously chuppy I thought to myself shaking my head in disbelief. “Where is she?” he mumbles looking around the hotel room as if she’ll suddenly appear. “She locked herself in the bathroom.” I sigh heavily while looking over at Chuppy his face saying it all shock, horror and most of all sadness this girl had done this to herself. “You should go back comfort her, try and get her to eat something!” he chirps with that I get up giving him a brotherly hug and head back to her. My Scar.
I unlock the hotel room door and step in. “Scar.” I say loudly hoping she’ll come out. I slowly tread closer to the tatty bathroom door. I can hear her sobbing loudly inside. It’s tearing my heart apart just standing here listen every whimper was a dagger to my sore my heart. Aching for her. I turn the brass door handle in hope it would open thankfully it did she must of unlocked it I note to myself. She was leaning against the bathtub shaking like a leaf, her eyes are bright red, she look like a deer in highlights as I walk in. Tears were still pouring down a face. I couldn’t help but stand there with tears freely flowing myself. I quickly pull myself together pace over towards her little body picking her up from the cold hard floor bridal style and holding her against me. I softly peck her little nose. “You don’t realize how perfect you are to us, me.” I whisper to her resting my head against hers and quickly pressing my lips to hers. She trails her tiny childlike hand through my hair to my cheek caressing it gently. She has a mixture of curiosity and terror in her sparkly sapphire eyes. “I’m not running anywhere Scar,” I sigh walking out the small bathroom with her still resting in my arms I slowly lower her onto the bed “Not without you.”
I grab her guitar that was set at the edge of the bed and started playing the morticians daughter.
I open my lungs, dear
I sing this song at funerals, no rush
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush
A baby boy you've held so tightly
This pain it visits almost nightly
Missing hotel beds
I feel your touch
I will await, dear
A patience of eternity, my crush
A universal still, no rust
No dust will ever grow on this frame
One million years, and I will say your name
I love you more than I can ever scream
We booked our flight those years ago
I said I loved you as I left you
Regrets still haunt my hollow head
But I promised you that I will see you again, again
I sit here and smile, dear
I smile because I think of you and I blush
These bleeding hollow dials, this fuss
Fuss is made of miles and travel
Roadways are but stones and gravel
A bleeding heart can conquer every crutch
We booked our flight those years ago
You said you loved me as you left me
Regrets still haunt your saddened head
But I promised you I will see you
We booked our flight those years ago
I said I loved you as I left you
Regrets no longer in my head
But I promised you and now I'm home again
Again
Again
I'm home again
Again
Again
I'm home again
When I finish she seem much calmer she was looking up at me with her pretty sapphire eyes I’ve learnt carry so much hurt. “Will you teach me to play that?” she whispers seeming unsure of herself. “Of course I will on one condition.” I smile at her. “What?” she asks as she slowly sits herself up on the double bed. “You have to try and eat you also need to stop this,” I tug gently on her top gesturing her Scars “Starting tonight for me.” I grab the pizza box sitting it on the bed her face expressing pure terror of the thought of having to eat. “For me Scar.” I remind her. She gulps nodding “For you.”