Rebel Yell
No one wants me
I gingerly open the pizza box the smell of the food fill my nostrils sending that familiar feeling of nausea swishing over me making my gag reflex go crazy. I look up to see Ashley watching me while eating a slice himself. “You don’t like it cold?” he asks tilting his with a worried look on his face. I used to like it cold…when I used to eat that wasn’t the problem. “No, I don’t mind it cold.” I smile back at him weakly he smiles back and carry on munching on his Hawaiian pizza. I cautiously separate a slice of the pizza from the box while my stomach doing Olympic standard somersaults and not in a good way. I gradually move the slice of pizza closer to my mouth I lightly nibble at the end. Can’t you see how fat you are? Think that’s going to help how disgusting you are? The voices in my head torment me as they swirl around and around as I try to carry on eating. You’re doing this for Ashley I remind myself. I manage to eat two and a half slices in the end surprising both me and Ashley I think. I was proud in a way but equally disgusted at myself.
I sat cross leg on the bed while Ashley was taking a shower ready for bed I was watching big bang theory one of my favourites. I was laughing at Sheldon’s and his smart arse comments when Ashley came walking in wearing just a plain white towel on his lower half. Not leaving much to the imagination. I couldn’t help but stare but at his body his perfectly muscled stomach and chest. His face is perfectly drawn amazing cheekbones and jaw, his beautiful liquid chocolate eyes. I sigh heavily and look back at the TV hiding my blush that was appearing. He doesn’t want you here you stupid girl he only pity’s you the voice in my head chuckles interrupting my nice thoughts. I look down at the crimson red duvet cover. What if it’s right? What if he only pities me? I worry quietly to myself.
“Scar?” Ashley calls bringing me out of my thoughts I gaze over at him “Do you want to borrow somethin’ to sleep in?” he asks making me realize I only have the one set of clothes from yesterday. “Yeah please.” I smile looking over at him. He walks over to his large black suitcase rummaging through before throwing me over a pair of hello kitty boxers and a black vest. “Never worn the boxers promise.” He widely grins walking over to me tapping me on the nose on the way past he grabs his star necklace that is lying on the floor from the night before. I grab the clothes a scurry in the bathroom locking the door behind. I throw on the clothes Ashley let me borrow and scrap my golden hair into a scruffy bun.
PJS: http://www.polyvore.com/ashley_another_night/set?id=67922696
I shuffle out the bedroom my stomach fluttering with nerves to see Ashley lying on the bed in his boxers flicking through the latest Kerrang magazine. “You alright?” he asks looking up from his magazine. I shook my head gently walking over to him. He closes his magazine sliding it on the nightstand where the lamp was on making the room glisten. “What’s up Scar?” he speaks gently wrapping an arm around my waist and gently littering kisses over my tummy. I couldn’t help but let out a giggle it tickles terribly. “Ash,” I whine between giggling “I’m worried.” I mumble. He leans back on the bed pulling me with him I slip one leg either side straddling his waist as he lies back on the bed. “What you worrin’ about?” he sighs intertwining his fingers in mine playing with them gently. “You, us…home” I stutter looking away embarrassment greeting my cheeks. “First of why are you worrin’ about me?” he says softly tilting his head like a curious puppy. “Do you…pity me?” I choke out tears filling my eyes. He must do why else would he be near me? How stupid am I? I criticize to myself. “No,” he stares up at me wide eyed “I care about you greatly Scar, you have issues I want to help you with of course…but that doesn’t stop me from lovin’ you.” He nearly audible whispers at the end his face flushing a hot red he pull his hand out of my covering his face. Ashley Purdy is blushing! I pull his large manly hands away from his face which reveals shock. Shock at what he had said. “Say it again please?” I beg him while stroking his red cheeks with my fingers. “No.” he mumbles looking away. He’s embarrassed aw. “You love me?” I whisper lowering myself down to his ear. He nods still looking away his cheek flushing even more. “I love you too.” I whisper snuggling my head into the warmth his neck. I felt him wrap his arms around me as I drift off to sleep.
*****************
“Scar,” A voice deep voice whinges in my ear making me groan as the hotness of their breath tickles my ear “I need wee.” I felt the bed squirm. I open my eyes to see Ashley below me desperation on his face “I love you but move I need the bathroom!” he “I need a wee dances” underneath me. I roll off him pulling the covers over me and settling back down as Ashley run to a bathroom not even bothering to close the door. I hear water sprinkling “Damn!” Ashley yells. Ew, relationships do have their down sides even with rock stars. I note to myself. “Next time close the damn door.” I shout at him disgusted. “Next time don’t sleep on me.” He argues back chuckling before coming back in a kissing my cheek and snuggling down beside me under the covers. He pulls me closer to him and we cuddle up in the hours of the night. I lift my head up to look at him he was staring me with a cute little expression on his face. I run my hands through his hair, gently across his cheek stroking it gently. I run my finger down his jaw to lips. He gently pecked my fingers with playing with my hair the other wrapped round me drawing things onto my back in-between breaks when he wasn’t playing with my hair. He leans down a little more capturing his lips in his he starts kissing me gently with passion. After a few minutes of pure shock I start to kiss back he runs his tongue over my bottom lip begging for entry I deny him breaking off the kiss. I peck his nose softly “Not now, I’m tired pisshead.” I play grumpy which he chuckles at. “Sleep then darlin’, sleep.” He whispers as drift off back into my dream world.
I woke up to banging to banging and shouting at the hotel room door. I groan sitting up I look over to Ashley he was snoring lightly through the racket somehow. How does he do that?! “Scar, Ash, open up man!” CC bellows the other side of the door. “Coming CC, calm down!” I yell back annoyed. I slide out of bed storming over to the door unlocking it and swinging it open to come face to face with CC “What?” I snap at him. “We’re urgh, moving on to the next city isn’t Ashley awake?” he mutters awkwardly. “No, he isn’t,” I reply pulling the vest down feeling self-conscious “What’s the time CC?” I ask a little nicer now waking up a little. “9am we’re leaving at ten get Purdy ready yeah?” he mumbles before walking off. “CC, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap at you!” I yell after him he turns round a gives me smile. “I know sleepyhead!” he chuckles walking off down the corridor.
“Ash,” I moan slightly sexually while biting down on his ear. Don’t even ask I’ve tried everything talking to him calmly, water, yelling and pinching. Everything. “Mm.” he moans rolling over underneath me. “Oh, Ash that feels good.” I groan deeply in to his ear as I pull back his eyes shot open staring at me. “Don’t even ask honestly I’ve tried everything to get you up!” I laugh trying to explain to him. “Talking dirty like we’re having sex works though.” I nod which he blushes deeply to I giggle and kiss his cheek. “Get up; you have 40 minutes till you have to be on the bus.” I sigh moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
He jumps out of bed dashing for the bathroom about ten minutes later he reappears washed and changed. He’s leaving me. I’ll never see him again. “What up you?” he asks kneeling down to my level lifting my chin up to look at him. “You’re leaving me.” I state as tears welled up in my eyes I look away suddenly finding the lamp oh so interesting. He plays with my hair gently slipping his down under my chin turning my head so I would look at him. “I’m not though am I? Not if you want to come with me.” He whispers resting his forehead on mine he was staring right into me. He just asked me to go on tour with me I internally squeal. I kiss his lips and wrap my small arms around his neck. He kisses back passion growing every moment that passes. He nips lightly at my bottom lip making me groan.
“Uhm.” I hear a girl cough in background Ashley and me depart and see a girl with long black hair standing in the background. “Sorry, I just though your lady friend might want some new clothes,” she gestured to the small hand luggage sized bag in her hand. “I’m Ella I hear you’re called Scar the boys seem rather taken to you.” She giggles looking at Ash. “Clothes would be amazing.” I giggle looking up at ceiling. Thank you god! Here she gestures me to take the bag “There’s some other bits in there that might come in handy.” she smiles before walking out the door. I ran in the bathroom grabbing a shower that greeted my body like a well-known lover would do so. Before rummaging in the bag to see what she put in there sanitary towels, new makeup ,deodorant, and hairspray some new bra’s in the right size, socks, panties then just clothes in general. I threw on this and added some make up.
Outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/ellas_help/set?id=67937914
I walk out the bathroom carrying the colourful floral bag I bent over putting it down near the door only to hear a wolf whistle coming from behind. I blush trying to hide it behind my hair I turn round to see Ashley sat on the bed. “Whoa, you look…oh come here,” he walks over picking me up in his arms. “Ash put me down!” I squeal as he spins us around. “Nooo,” he whines grinning at me before stealing a kiss “My girl’s a sexy thing.” he smirks proudly before letting me back down on my feet. He grabs his suitcase and swiftly steals mine out my hand “I was carrying tha…” I whine but Ash buts in. “I know but I don’t like girls struggling, especially you.” I smile at that who can argue with him and his cuteness.
We walk down the corridor Ashley carrying the bags refusing to let me help while I open the doors for him on the way out. We reach the bus Andy comes flying out nearly crashing to the ground but somehow his feet recover his landing. “Hey batman!” I cheer smiling at him as he runs over snatching me off the ground. “Batman help Ashley with the bags for me?” I pout fluttering my eyelashes at him. He releases me setting me down on the ground and salutes me. “Batman will!” with that he grabs both the bags off Ashley and charges into the bus. Me and Ashley exchanges looks shrugging and follow him onto the bus.
We we’re all settled on the couch eating some kind of breakfast. Ashley had made me cereal while he was sitting beside me eating toast with chocolate spread upon it. I’m slowly mooching on my cereal though every mouthful wasn’t helping my unforgiving nausea. You think he really loves you? How sad he could love something so repulsive. The voices taunt inside my head. “Which one of you fat ugly shits ate the last of cereal!” Jake yells from the front of the bus I look down at my food my stomach turning. Tears welling up in my eyes I drop my food from my lap rushing out the bus. My feet pounding on the pavement as I run faster and faster swerving in and out people as I try and get away. I’m fat, ugly, and repulsive, disgusting no one wants me. No one ever will.
I sat cross leg on the bed while Ashley was taking a shower ready for bed I was watching big bang theory one of my favourites. I was laughing at Sheldon’s and his smart arse comments when Ashley came walking in wearing just a plain white towel on his lower half. Not leaving much to the imagination. I couldn’t help but stare but at his body his perfectly muscled stomach and chest. His face is perfectly drawn amazing cheekbones and jaw, his beautiful liquid chocolate eyes. I sigh heavily and look back at the TV hiding my blush that was appearing. He doesn’t want you here you stupid girl he only pity’s you the voice in my head chuckles interrupting my nice thoughts. I look down at the crimson red duvet cover. What if it’s right? What if he only pities me? I worry quietly to myself.
“Scar?” Ashley calls bringing me out of my thoughts I gaze over at him “Do you want to borrow somethin’ to sleep in?” he asks making me realize I only have the one set of clothes from yesterday. “Yeah please.” I smile looking over at him. He walks over to his large black suitcase rummaging through before throwing me over a pair of hello kitty boxers and a black vest. “Never worn the boxers promise.” He widely grins walking over to me tapping me on the nose on the way past he grabs his star necklace that is lying on the floor from the night before. I grab the clothes a scurry in the bathroom locking the door behind. I throw on the clothes Ashley let me borrow and scrap my golden hair into a scruffy bun.
PJS: http://www.polyvore.com/ashley_another_night/set?id=67922696
I shuffle out the bedroom my stomach fluttering with nerves to see Ashley lying on the bed in his boxers flicking through the latest Kerrang magazine. “You alright?” he asks looking up from his magazine. I shook my head gently walking over to him. He closes his magazine sliding it on the nightstand where the lamp was on making the room glisten. “What’s up Scar?” he speaks gently wrapping an arm around my waist and gently littering kisses over my tummy. I couldn’t help but let out a giggle it tickles terribly. “Ash,” I whine between giggling “I’m worried.” I mumble. He leans back on the bed pulling me with him I slip one leg either side straddling his waist as he lies back on the bed. “What you worrin’ about?” he sighs intertwining his fingers in mine playing with them gently. “You, us…home” I stutter looking away embarrassment greeting my cheeks. “First of why are you worrin’ about me?” he says softly tilting his head like a curious puppy. “Do you…pity me?” I choke out tears filling my eyes. He must do why else would he be near me? How stupid am I? I criticize to myself. “No,” he stares up at me wide eyed “I care about you greatly Scar, you have issues I want to help you with of course…but that doesn’t stop me from lovin’ you.” He nearly audible whispers at the end his face flushing a hot red he pull his hand out of my covering his face. Ashley Purdy is blushing! I pull his large manly hands away from his face which reveals shock. Shock at what he had said. “Say it again please?” I beg him while stroking his red cheeks with my fingers. “No.” he mumbles looking away. He’s embarrassed aw. “You love me?” I whisper lowering myself down to his ear. He nods still looking away his cheek flushing even more. “I love you too.” I whisper snuggling my head into the warmth his neck. I felt him wrap his arms around me as I drift off to sleep.
*****************
“Scar,” A voice deep voice whinges in my ear making me groan as the hotness of their breath tickles my ear “I need wee.” I felt the bed squirm. I open my eyes to see Ashley below me desperation on his face “I love you but move I need the bathroom!” he “I need a wee dances” underneath me. I roll off him pulling the covers over me and settling back down as Ashley run to a bathroom not even bothering to close the door. I hear water sprinkling “Damn!” Ashley yells. Ew, relationships do have their down sides even with rock stars. I note to myself. “Next time close the damn door.” I shout at him disgusted. “Next time don’t sleep on me.” He argues back chuckling before coming back in a kissing my cheek and snuggling down beside me under the covers. He pulls me closer to him and we cuddle up in the hours of the night. I lift my head up to look at him he was staring me with a cute little expression on his face. I run my hands through his hair, gently across his cheek stroking it gently. I run my finger down his jaw to lips. He gently pecked my fingers with playing with my hair the other wrapped round me drawing things onto my back in-between breaks when he wasn’t playing with my hair. He leans down a little more capturing his lips in his he starts kissing me gently with passion. After a few minutes of pure shock I start to kiss back he runs his tongue over my bottom lip begging for entry I deny him breaking off the kiss. I peck his nose softly “Not now, I’m tired pisshead.” I play grumpy which he chuckles at. “Sleep then darlin’, sleep.” He whispers as drift off back into my dream world.
I woke up to banging to banging and shouting at the hotel room door. I groan sitting up I look over to Ashley he was snoring lightly through the racket somehow. How does he do that?! “Scar, Ash, open up man!” CC bellows the other side of the door. “Coming CC, calm down!” I yell back annoyed. I slide out of bed storming over to the door unlocking it and swinging it open to come face to face with CC “What?” I snap at him. “We’re urgh, moving on to the next city isn’t Ashley awake?” he mutters awkwardly. “No, he isn’t,” I reply pulling the vest down feeling self-conscious “What’s the time CC?” I ask a little nicer now waking up a little. “9am we’re leaving at ten get Purdy ready yeah?” he mumbles before walking off. “CC, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap at you!” I yell after him he turns round a gives me smile. “I know sleepyhead!” he chuckles walking off down the corridor.
“Ash,” I moan slightly sexually while biting down on his ear. Don’t even ask I’ve tried everything talking to him calmly, water, yelling and pinching. Everything. “Mm.” he moans rolling over underneath me. “Oh, Ash that feels good.” I groan deeply in to his ear as I pull back his eyes shot open staring at me. “Don’t even ask honestly I’ve tried everything to get you up!” I laugh trying to explain to him. “Talking dirty like we’re having sex works though.” I nod which he blushes deeply to I giggle and kiss his cheek. “Get up; you have 40 minutes till you have to be on the bus.” I sigh moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
He jumps out of bed dashing for the bathroom about ten minutes later he reappears washed and changed. He’s leaving me. I’ll never see him again. “What up you?” he asks kneeling down to my level lifting my chin up to look at him. “You’re leaving me.” I state as tears welled up in my eyes I look away suddenly finding the lamp oh so interesting. He plays with my hair gently slipping his down under my chin turning my head so I would look at him. “I’m not though am I? Not if you want to come with me.” He whispers resting his forehead on mine he was staring right into me. He just asked me to go on tour with me I internally squeal. I kiss his lips and wrap my small arms around his neck. He kisses back passion growing every moment that passes. He nips lightly at my bottom lip making me groan.
“Uhm.” I hear a girl cough in background Ashley and me depart and see a girl with long black hair standing in the background. “Sorry, I just though your lady friend might want some new clothes,” she gestured to the small hand luggage sized bag in her hand. “I’m Ella I hear you’re called Scar the boys seem rather taken to you.” She giggles looking at Ash. “Clothes would be amazing.” I giggle looking up at ceiling. Thank you god! Here she gestures me to take the bag “There’s some other bits in there that might come in handy.” she smiles before walking out the door. I ran in the bathroom grabbing a shower that greeted my body like a well-known lover would do so. Before rummaging in the bag to see what she put in there sanitary towels, new makeup ,deodorant, and hairspray some new bra’s in the right size, socks, panties then just clothes in general. I threw on this and added some make up.
Outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/ellas_help/set?id=67937914
I walk out the bathroom carrying the colourful floral bag I bent over putting it down near the door only to hear a wolf whistle coming from behind. I blush trying to hide it behind my hair I turn round to see Ashley sat on the bed. “Whoa, you look…oh come here,” he walks over picking me up in his arms. “Ash put me down!” I squeal as he spins us around. “Nooo,” he whines grinning at me before stealing a kiss “My girl’s a sexy thing.” he smirks proudly before letting me back down on my feet. He grabs his suitcase and swiftly steals mine out my hand “I was carrying tha…” I whine but Ash buts in. “I know but I don’t like girls struggling, especially you.” I smile at that who can argue with him and his cuteness.
We walk down the corridor Ashley carrying the bags refusing to let me help while I open the doors for him on the way out. We reach the bus Andy comes flying out nearly crashing to the ground but somehow his feet recover his landing. “Hey batman!” I cheer smiling at him as he runs over snatching me off the ground. “Batman help Ashley with the bags for me?” I pout fluttering my eyelashes at him. He releases me setting me down on the ground and salutes me. “Batman will!” with that he grabs both the bags off Ashley and charges into the bus. Me and Ashley exchanges looks shrugging and follow him onto the bus.
We we’re all settled on the couch eating some kind of breakfast. Ashley had made me cereal while he was sitting beside me eating toast with chocolate spread upon it. I’m slowly mooching on my cereal though every mouthful wasn’t helping my unforgiving nausea. You think he really loves you? How sad he could love something so repulsive. The voices taunt inside my head. “Which one of you fat ugly shits ate the last of cereal!” Jake yells from the front of the bus I look down at my food my stomach turning. Tears welling up in my eyes I drop my food from my lap rushing out the bus. My feet pounding on the pavement as I run faster and faster swerving in and out people as I try and get away. I’m fat, ugly, and repulsive, disgusting no one wants me. No one ever will.