Symphonies of the Damned

“What are you thinking about?”
The curiosity lingering in Christian’s voice snapped me out of my thinking haze, letting me look up.
“Family First.” I answered, recalling the tattooed words on Asking Alexandria’s guitarist.
“What about Ben’s tattoo?” CC smirked, making the connection with the phrase.
“I was just thinking...it’s supposed to be Family First, but I placed my own selfish needs before the child’s. This baby is going to grow up in a broken family, because I told Juliet the truth!”
“It was for the best.” CC assured me, patting my arm.
No, it wasn’t.
Honestly, I didn’t tell Juliet about Andy’s cheating because she deserved to know, I told her because I wanted Andy available for myself.
It was selfish.
I had ruined an unborn child’s future for a slim chance with the man I loved.
Fuck my life!
I just majorly screwed up the life of another Biersack.
“Ashley, listen to me.” CC spoke up. “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? You told Jules what she deserved to know.”
“I didn’t tell her because she needed to know! I wanted to tear her apart and keep him for myself!” I yelled.
“Wait, what...”
Fuck.
Before I could come up with a decent explanation, the door swung opened and Jake stepped on the bus, followed by Jinxx.
Thank fuck.
“Finally!” CC cheered. “I thought I was going to starve from lack of food!”
“We weren’t gone that long.” Jake muttered, setting the grease-stained bags on the table.
He rummaged through the mini-fridge and pulled out a couple beers to go with lunch.
Jinxx kept his distance, glaring at Jake from his post against the wall.
Either Jake was stupidly oblivious to it, or he was maturely choosing to ignore the stare.
“Will you stop giving me that look?!” Jake demanded after a few moments of sullen silence.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jinxx huffed, sitting down at the table.
As far away from Jake as possible, I might add.
There was an obvious tension on the bus when the door opened again, and Andy stepped in.
He completely ignored all of us, marching towards the bathroom and locking the door.
“What happened with Andy.” I finally asked, after everyone had turned away from the closed bathroom door.
“You’ve completely fucked up a good relationship, Ashley.” Jake sneered.
“I’m sorry!” I burst out, feeling guilty.
“You didn’t do anything.” Jinxx emphasized. “That asshole deserves to have his life fall apart for everything he’s done.”
“If you count being a faggot as a reason, then yeah.” Jake laughed, giving me a pointed look.
“Will you just shut the hell up?” Jinxx yelled, getting angrier by the second.

“No! I refuse to share a bus with a bunch of dick-loving cunts like those two!” Jake answered haughtily.
“I’m right here...” I whispered meekly.
“You don’t have to.” Jinxx retorted. “You can gladly leave.”
“Why should I leave? It’s Ashley who should leave, Andy too if he’s lying about his sexual preference.
“I’m not comfortable with this conversation...” Christian spoke up.
“See, CC agrees with me. We don’t want a couple fags sharing this bus with us.” Jake glared.
“Actually, I’m not comfortable knowing my best friend is a homophobe. It’s not that I care about., it’s that he isn’t accepting of my other best friends!” CC defended.
“Come on, C.” Jake groaned. “Don’t defend these ‘people’. They’re all going to hell anyway.”
“Will you shut the fuck up!” I yelled, standing up.
“No.”
Pushing my food away from me, I stood up and left the tour bus. Jake and Jinxx were still arguing.
Christian followed me off the bus.
“Ashley!” he called out, running towards me. “I’m so sorry about Jake.”
“It’s fine.” I sighed. “It’s not your fault, I just wasn’t expecting Jake to think that.”
“If he insults you or Andy one more time, I swear to God, I’m going to punch him.”
“You don’t have to.” I assured. “Wait. You don’t care that I’m....”
“Not at all.” CC smiled. “It all makes sense now, actually. I wouldn’t be surprised about Andy either. I always wondered why all the people who cheated on Juliet with were all guys...”
“You’ve got him there.”
Leaning against the wall of the tour bus, I looked up at the sky and just tried to clear my thoughts.
I needed a distraction. desperately..
“Hey, Ashley...?” CC spoke up, looking hesitant.
“Yeah?”
“Can I introduce you to someone? I haven’t really had the chance to officially introduce her, and...”
“Sure.” I nodded. “I could use the distraction.”
“Great!”
He led me towards Falling In Reverse’s tour buses, picking the one that didn’t belong to the band.
Stepping in, he gingerly called through the living area. “Kayla?”
After a second, Falling In Reverse’s merch girl appeared from the back, a smile on her face.
“CC!” she laughed, throwing herself at the lanky drummer and kissing his cheek.
Her almond-shaped eyes sparkled with happiness, before closing in bliss as CC pressed his lips against her.
“Ahem.” I muttered awkwardly, after two minutes of their intimacy.
“Oh, sorry.” she blushed, pulling herself off Christian. “I didn’t notice you were standing there.”
“It’s okay.” I coughed.
“Anyway!” CC bounced. “Ashley, this is my girlfriend Kayla. Kayla, this is my bassist and best friend, Ashley.”
“I know who he is.” Kayla laughed, offering a hug as a greeting.
“How long have you been together?” I asked casually, hugging her back.
“Since the UK tour...”
“You chose now to tell me?” I demanded. “CC, that was like three months ago!”
“I know! But, everyone was always fighting, fucking, or sabotaging in that last tour.”
“I know...” I trailed off.
“Anyway, it’s given us a chance to really become close without being harassed by other band members or fans.” Kayla smiled.
“True.”
It was watching them cuddle that brought a wave of jealousy over me. They had it so easy.
Love was supposed to be a simple and carefree thing, not a basic complication.
There were so many problems revolving around Andy and I, and we were never even together!
This feeling of need, brought another idea to my head.
Maybe there was a way to get Andy into my arms after all. Sabotaging his relationship had made him a free man, but not mine.
It was a two-step process, and I had only completed one step.
Bidding goodbye to Christian and Kayla, I hopped off the crew’s bus and followed the sound of distant cheers.
There was already a gathering of fans outside the venue, waiting for the doors to be opened.
It was fairly early, they still had a good wait in front of them.
Most of our fans were obviously under eighteen, and eager fangirls.
Their screams raised an octave when they saw me approaching, if that was even possible.
“Hey.” I smiled, winking at a couple.
I went through the crowd, taking pictures and signing a couple pictures and foreheads.
After about ten minutes of this madness, I found what I had been looking for.
Hot black-haired babe, with winged eyeliner. She was obviously over twenty-one, dressed in a bandeau top, skirt, heels, and a motorcycle jacket.
“Hey there.” I smirked, using as much charisma in my smile as physically possible.
“Ashley...” she whispered, giving an adorable pout.
“Walk with me?” I asked casually, leading her away from the crowd and inside the venue.
Her heels clicked in the cement hallway as he edged our way through the dark venue.
Once we had reached the empty backstage, I shoved open the door that would be BVB’s dressing room.
A print=out of our logo was already taped over the door.
“In here.” I whispered seductively, flipping on the lights.
My hair was a tousled mess, a result of not brushing it after last night’s show this morning.
It gave off that casual sex hair, that caused her to bite her lower lip and flick her tongue out.
Her hand trailed from my shoulder and down my chest, grabbing at the collar of my cut-up Kiss shirt.
“Ashley...”
It just occured to me that I didn’t even know her name.
It’s not like it mattered, I wasn’t ever going to see her again, right?
As her fingernails raked down my spine, a chill shook through my body and I leaned in to graze my teeth against her collarbone.
No wonder Andy loved fucking everyone he laid eyes on; he received the pure sensual bliss without the responsibility of commitment.
“Ashley...”
Closing my eyes, I let instinct take control as my hands wandered over her hipbones and pulled her jacket off.
This is what I needed; a proper distraction from everything going on.
She was barefoot, standing on her tiptoes as she leaned against me, the cool metal of her belly button piercing rubbing against my tattoo.
My hands were grazing her thighs, feeling the soft skin become the neutral fabric of her underclothes.
My teeth were working on leaving a mark above her breast, when the door to the dressing room swung open.
“Hey, Ashley.” Andy’s voice pierced the silence. “I’ve been looking for yo-”
He stopped short as he took in the scene before him.
“What...”
“Hey Andy.” I smirked casually, not bothering to look at him.
“What are you doing.” Andy demanded, hurt and shock lingering in his tone.
“What the fuck happened to your hair?” I asked in surprise, taking in the suddenly chopped locks.
“I cut it.” Andy answered, distracted. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Oh, you know...” I trailed off. “Just the same thing you’re always doing, you cheating asshole.”
“Ashley...”
“Yes?” I yawned, finally pulling away from the girl.
He shook his head, shutting his eyes and gripping at the ends of his short hair, in an attempt to not react.
“I think you should get going...” I suggested awkwardly, handing the girl back her shirt.
“Oh, okay...”
She left then, her heels still in hand as she shrugged into her leather jacket and closed the door behind her.
“What’s up?” I asked, slouching against the worn out couch and stared up at Andy.
I’m not sure what I expected him to say.
“Is, is this how it feels to know I’m fucking someone else that isn’t yourself?” Andy sighed.
“What?”
“This...heartbreak. Is this what it feels like Ashley?”
“Yes.”
“I’m so fucking sorry Ash... I just, it was always for my enjoyment and I just, I didn’t consider what you would feel like. Juliet didn’t know, so I didn’t care. I keep forgetting we used to have something, and I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
“No, it isn’t! I don’t know what to do Ash, and I let Jake control my emotions earlier and I fucking agreed with that bastard! I’m sorry...”
Nodding, I recalled Jake’s earlier words.
“I understand.”
“Ashley, you are fucking amazing. You’re too kind and forgiving of all the mistakes I make, and-”
I didn’t let him finish his sentence, instead pressing my lips against his and quieting him down with a kiss.