We Only Breathe For So Long

It has been a week since the band did their opening show. I haven’t heard about the boys or John in a week. In order to keep my mind astray from thinking about the reasons they haven’t reached me yet, I did the usual boring things I do – work and then go home. Work was forever the same except for this week. Greg and Lisa were dating so they couldn’t keep their hands or eyes off each other. Although that sounds bad, it wasn’t the worst. Eric wasn’t around because he was sick. I missed him. Work wasn’t quite the same without him around.

I was going with loneliness. John hasn’t showed any sign of existence, Eric was gone and my dad was too busy with work lately. This feeling is a son of a bitch. It has tormented me so much that I had thought about getting a cat. How pathetic and lonely! As much as I pushed certain thoughts away, they always haunted me once again. I kept wondering if John had found someone else, had bumped into someone more interesting just like he had bumped into me. What if that kiss was nothing to him? A mistake? If it were such, he’d be backing away just like he is now. As much as I wanted to call him to hear his voice and do something together, I couldn’t find myself dialing his number. Maybe it was for the best, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe I should let it go. I tried but I couldn’t. It was the one thing that clouded my mind.

My shift ended and I rode my way back home. Was Eric so sick that he couldn’t work for almost a week? I was getting worried. I needed him to cheer me up and I’m sure he needed someone to do the same for him. An idea enlightened my mind and I didn’t think twice about realizing it. As soon as I got home, I washed my hands and prepared myself to bake cookies. I had no idea how to but I’m sure I’d figure it out one way or another.

As I started getting all the ingredients out and on top of the balcony, Angela entered the kitchen.

“Honey! So glad to see you,” she said, kissing my cheek. “What do we have here?”

“Hi Ang! Um, one of my co-workers is sick, what better than cookies to cheer someone up?” I smiled.

“I absolutely agree with you. Just a co-worker?” asked Angela, intrigued.

I playfully rolled my eyes. “Well, a friend. His name is Eric.”

“Is he by any chance a gentleman that picked up your bike?”

“Yeah, that’s him!” I said.

Angela took her apron and put it on while tying it around her small waist. “Let me help you with this.”

“Oh, thank goodness… I had no idea of what I was doing,” I said in relief.

She sweetly smiled. “I know! I don’t want you burning down the house.”

We both laughed and she started mixing ingredients together as I handed them to her.

“He seems like a very good guy,” she softly spoke, concentrating on the mixture.

“He is. Probably the funniest you’ll ever get the chance to meet.”

I knew where she wanted to go. I might not have had any motherly contact since everything but I’ve had a mother. I knew exactly where she wanted to go.

“There’s nothing going on between us,” I continued. “If that’s what you want to know…”

“Of course not Kylie.” She said with a low voice while turning her full attention to me. “I just want you to have someone you can open yourself to. It’s not healthy to bottle up and I’d love to be the one to help answer the millions of questions travelling through your mind.”

Her hand touched my shoulder gently and she gave me a soft smile. “You’re really like a daughter to me. It’s funny, I even think you resemble me when I was your age.”

I chuckled and hugged. “Thank you. When there is something thrilling happening in my life, you will be the first one to know,” I reassured her.

We spent hours baking these cookies. I had so much fun doing it though. I added M&Ms, a bit of Nutella and colorful sprinkles to the cookie dough. By the time the cookies were baked and fresh out of the oven, I was covered with flour and chocolate. The sun was nowhere to be found.

Angela removed the last tray out of the oven. “Mission accomplished!”

“Thanks for the help, I would’ve never done without you!” I hugged her once more.

“Always here, honey. I better go take a shower to get this scent out of my body or else I might come back to devour all of these cookies,” she joked.

“I’m going to do the same then head to bed. Goodnight Ang.”

She kissed the top of my head. “Goodnight sweetie.”

I took a hot, steamy shower and blow-dried my hair after to prevent any sickness to take hold of me. Although I didn’t do much today, I was exhausted. As I got into bed, it felt like heaven. I found a comfortable position under the covers and prepared myself to drift off and sleep. Before I could do so, my phone buzzed on the nightstand.

“Argh,” I moaned.

I slowly shifted my body position to reach the phone. I answer the call, too tired to bother to check the caller ID.

“Hello?” I answered, half asleep.

“Did I wake you up?” His hoarse voice was unmistakable.

John. John’s voice. I blinked and sat up fast, grabbing the sheets.

“Oh, hey John. Um, no. I was just about to.”

“I’m sorry. I’d better go then.”

“No, no. It’s all right. What’s up?” I tried to send the sleep away by rubbing my eyes.

“I just wanted to call to, y’know…”

“I actually don’t know.”

He chuckled. “To say we’re in Toronto. The tour officially starts here and then we move down to Vancouver.”

“That’s awesome. Is it nice over there?” I politely asked.

“Not as nice as there,” he replied. There was a long pause. “I just wanted to let you know before you went thinking that I ran away or something.”

“That’s exactly what I thought, actually.”

I don’t know how but somehow I knew he was smirking on the other side of the line.

“I’ll be there by the end of the week or during the weekend.”

He actually called, that’s good right? And if he was telling me he’d be back, that’s even better right? I didn’t quite know but I assumed so. I was excited on the inside but I pulled myself together.

“That’s good,” I said.

“Are you calling mommy Jonny boy?” a mocking voice spoke on the background. “Go away!” John pleaded through laughter. “I’m sorry about that, Kylie.”

“It’s okay. Tell those morons that I managed to reach level 41.”

He laughed; his laughter was music to my ears. “I will, tomorrow. Or else they will bug me to call you and ask how you managed to do so.”

“Deal!” I said.

“I should let you sleep now. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“You don’t even have to ask, John.” My voice was slowly fading away.

“Goodnight Kylie,” he said.