Finding John
Chapter Seventeen
Jack could tell there was something on my mind. As soon as I walked through the door, he shot through the kitchen, then the living room, and finally to the front door to greet me, his tail wagging happily the whole time.
“Hey buddy!” I knelt down and patted Jack’s head, his tail suddenly moving even faster than before. I kissed him on the head and he immediately licked my nose as a way of telling me, ‘Hey, I like you too!’
My dad, on the other hand, was clueless as to what was going on in my head.
Oh, but I knew what I was thinking about, constantly; like a never ending dream, it kept going on and on: Alex.
He wasn’t blunt like most guys, checking out your ass or winking at you. Alex was quite the opposite actually. He was mysterious, and that’s what drew me to him, the fact that you could never tell what he was thinking, so you were surprised when he told you.
I didn’t want bluntness; I wanted surprise, spontaneity, compassion.
I wanted Alex.
As that realization came to me, I fell down onto the floor, not able to support my suddenly wobbly legs. I leaned up against the pale green walls of the living room. They were cold, just like my heart. For Alex had already announced that the kiss we shared, however amazing it was and however amazing it made me feel, was nothing to him. Absolutely nothing.
And that was that: Alex and I would never be anything more than friends. And I had to deal with that.
---
I waited for Alex to say something, anything at all, as we sat at our lunch table. He kept sneaking glances at the people surrounding us. They were all staring, quite bluntly, at us. It seemed as if it would never stop; the stares, the whispers, the snickers, everything. It would continue on to infinity. I didn’t want that. I wanted everyone to just leave us alone.
But they didn’t. They refused to give up. We were the talk of the school. Even the teachers gave us weird looks. Everyone wanted to know what had happened between us, what had made Alex talk, and why he had chosen me to be the one to talk to. Even I wasn’t sure.
That’s why I was waiting for Alex to say something. I needed to know what was on his mind. I needed him to come out of his shell. I needed him…period.
But as the silence continued, and it seemed as if nothing would ever happen during that lunch period, my hope grew lesser and lesser, until all that was left was a thin sliver.
And that’s when Alex decided to talk.
“Hey buddy!” I knelt down and patted Jack’s head, his tail suddenly moving even faster than before. I kissed him on the head and he immediately licked my nose as a way of telling me, ‘Hey, I like you too!’
My dad, on the other hand, was clueless as to what was going on in my head.
Oh, but I knew what I was thinking about, constantly; like a never ending dream, it kept going on and on: Alex.
He wasn’t blunt like most guys, checking out your ass or winking at you. Alex was quite the opposite actually. He was mysterious, and that’s what drew me to him, the fact that you could never tell what he was thinking, so you were surprised when he told you.
I didn’t want bluntness; I wanted surprise, spontaneity, compassion.
I wanted Alex.
As that realization came to me, I fell down onto the floor, not able to support my suddenly wobbly legs. I leaned up against the pale green walls of the living room. They were cold, just like my heart. For Alex had already announced that the kiss we shared, however amazing it was and however amazing it made me feel, was nothing to him. Absolutely nothing.
And that was that: Alex and I would never be anything more than friends. And I had to deal with that.
---
I waited for Alex to say something, anything at all, as we sat at our lunch table. He kept sneaking glances at the people surrounding us. They were all staring, quite bluntly, at us. It seemed as if it would never stop; the stares, the whispers, the snickers, everything. It would continue on to infinity. I didn’t want that. I wanted everyone to just leave us alone.
But they didn’t. They refused to give up. We were the talk of the school. Even the teachers gave us weird looks. Everyone wanted to know what had happened between us, what had made Alex talk, and why he had chosen me to be the one to talk to. Even I wasn’t sure.
That’s why I was waiting for Alex to say something. I needed to know what was on his mind. I needed him to come out of his shell. I needed him…period.
But as the silence continued, and it seemed as if nothing would ever happen during that lunch period, my hope grew lesser and lesser, until all that was left was a thin sliver.
And that’s when Alex decided to talk.