Finding John

I found Alex in the library, searching for a book. I didn’t know how to approach him, so I just stood there for a few minutes, hoping he would see me.

I heard a cough and looked up. Alex was standing in front of me. “Hey,” he said. “Uhm, do you think we could, you know..talk, maybe? Later?”

I nodded vigorously. “Yeah. My house?”

Alex smirked. “How about mine?”

And so, with a final nod goodbye, I walked away, never having felt more nervous in my life. Because I knew, I just knew, what that night might hold.

---

Alex’s house was certainly not as nice as mine. You could tell that his family didn’t come into much money. But it was quaint, just near the end of the road, and looked pretty great compared to the houses surrounding it. “It’s pretty,” I told Alex.

He laughed. “It’s really not,” he replied. When we reached the inside of his house, he told his father, who drove us home, that we were going to his room. He opened the door to his room and I saw two little girls, his twin sisters I was guessing, sitting on the floor playing with their Barbie’s. “Karla! Samster! This is my friend John,” he announced, and they smiled up at me. “John, these are my twin sisters Karla and Samantha.” He turned to Karla and Samantha. “Hey, do you guys think you could go hang out with daddy while I talk to John?” Karla and Samantha gave each other knowing looks, smiled, and then ran out of the room. “Sorry about them,” Alex said.

“It’s fine. So, this is your room? It’s quite--pink.” Alex and I laughed. “Look,” I said.

“No, let me talk,” Alex interrupted. I nodded. “Gosh, uhm, I don’t know how to say this.”

I smiled at him. “Just say what’s in your heart. I know it’s hard, but I have faith in you.”

Alex took a deep breath. “I really care about you, John. But I’m scared. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel.”

“I’m scared, too,” I said, stepping closer to him.

“I--I’ve just never felt this way before. It’s all so new to me.” He paused. “I meant what I said to you that one day. Your eyes do shine like the ocean when the sun hits the waves. They’re so captivating, just like the rest of you. I don’t even know what I’m saying now; I’m probably just rambling, but..I really, really feel a connection between us. A strong one. Do you feel it, too?”

I nodded. “Alex?” I said, hesitating. “Can you do me one thing?” He nodded slowly. “Can you show me what you feel?”

Alex kissed me. And as tears started falling from my eyes, that’s when I knew: I was going to be alright. And so was Alex. Because even though we’d been through such devastating things, we found each other in the midst of it all. And maybe this friendship or whatever we had wouldn’t work out in the end. But for the moment, I was happy. All because of one guy who was determined to find me, determined in Finding John.