Never Going Back Again

Billy didn’t get to Valencia’s until later on that evening. He couldn’t go and see her. He didn’t want to go see her. She was different, and he didn’t like her different. He loved her they way she was before she started acting like him. He knew that everything was going to get worse if he did what she asked and offed her father. But Billy had no choice. He loved her too much to lose her to a dick she hasn’t seen since before her brother was born. So if taking him out was the only way Val could stay, then he would do it as many times as it took.

When he pulled up to her mother’s home, he saw Joe sitting outside smoking a cigarette. Billy could tell that Joe was shook up a bit. Billy got out of his car and made his way towards his brother.

“What’re you doing, Billy?” Joe asked. “Val hasn’t said a single word since she got home. Not even to her brother. What’s going on?” Billy didn’t say a word. He walked pass Joe and entered the home.

Billy was surprised when he got inside. The home looked vacant. All the lights were off and there wasn’t a person in sight. Except for in Valencia’s room. The door was ajar and light was shining into the hall way. Billy walked back there slowly, not sure of what he’ll find. Valencia was sitting on her bed, just staring at the wall. “Val,” Billy said. She looked up at him. Her eyes were red. She had been crying.

“So,” she sighed. “What’s going on? Are we doing it?” She asked. Billy nodded. Valencia let out another sigh and nodded also.

“I want to go.”

“What?” Billy asked.

“I want to go,” she said again. “I want to be there when you do it.” Billy felt uneasy, and it took a lot to make Billy uneasy. No way was he taking Valencia to watch her father die.

“No,” he said evenly.

“Billy,” Valencia said. Billy shook his head dismissively. “I want to be there.”

Billy groaned as he knelt down to her level. He took her face in his hands as he spoke. “There’s only so much I can do, Val,” he said. “This is fucked up enough already. You know that.” Valencia’s face contorted into something like pain as she started crying. “You don’t need to be there Val. It’ll screw you up.”

“I don’t care. I‘m already screwed up,” she cried as she jerked away from his hands. “I need to go.” Billy stood up and looked down at her scornfully. Valencia returned the gaze. They stayed there like that for a long moment, until they were interrupted by Billy’s phone. He picked it up quickly, his gaze still on Valencia.

“Yes,” he answered.

“I got him,” Bodie said. “I’m sitting in his hotel parking lot. Are you ready?”

“Which hotel?” Billy asked. Valencia’s eyes went wide. She got up off the bed and quickly looked around for some shoes. “Wait for me.” Billy said before he hung up.

“Which hotel?” Valencia asked.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re not going,” Billy said as he turned around. Valencia picked up a shoe and hurled it at Billy’s back. He spun around so fast, it made Valencia rethink her action.

“I’m fucking going, Billy,” she said. “That’s final.” Billy looked at her, but said nothing else. He just turned around and headed for the door. Valencia followed him, almost beaming. She had no idea what she was about to get herself into.

When outside, Billy started barking orders. “Go back inside and wait for us to get back.”

“Where you going?” Joe asked.

“Make sure her brother doesn’t wake up,” Billy said as he opened his car door.

“What the fu-” Joe began.

“Don’t fucking ask questions!” Billy barked. “Do as I say!” Joe nodded as he headed back inside the home. When both Billy and Valencia were in the car, he turned his barking onto her. “This isn’t a fucking game, Val!” He said to her. “It’s not a fucking movie, this is real life. What you’re about to do-”

“I know, Billy,” Valencia said calmly. “I understand.”

“Then why the…” Billy trailed off as he looked at her.

“I want to make sure he dies,” she admitted. “I want to watch him die.” Billy ran his hand down his face. He started up the car, not saying another word. She was gone. His Valencia was gone.


When they pulled into the hotel parking lot, Billy immediately spotted Bodie. It took a while for Valencia to find him. He was parked at the end of the lot in the dark. All three got out of their cars. “Nineteen,” Bodie said. Billy nodded. Bodie looked down at Valencia, then back up at Billy. “Why is Val here?”

“Don’t ask questions,” Billy warned. “Just stay out here until we’re done.”

Until we’re done, Valencia thought. We’re actually going to do this. Never in her life, did she think she would be doing something like this. She was going to watch her father die. That was something many people wish they never had to see. Not Valencia. She had asked for it. She knew Billy was right about this screwing her up. She knew for sure she would never be the same after. But she also knew that she would never have her father threaten to take her brother away. She would never have to leave Billy.

“You knock on the door, Val,” Billy said. Valencia nodded. She began walking across the parking lot towards her father’s room, when Billy grabbed her hand and tugged her back. Valencia looked back up at him. He had this terrible look upon his face. His brows were scrunched up together in a frown, but he wasn’t angry. He looked sad, almost hurt. Valencia looked at Bodie. He immediately looked down and began walking towards the trunk of the car.

“You really gonna do this?” Billy asked. Valencia nodded.

“Yes.” Now Billy nodded as he looked down. He looked like he hated himself at that moment. Valencia brought her shaking hand up to his shaved head and brought it down to the back of his neck.

“You have no fucking idea of what you’re about to get yourself into,” Billy said quietly. Before Valencia could say anything, Billy’s lips was on hers.

This was killing him and she knew it.

She felt her lip tremble as he pulled away. Her hand fell to her side as she opened her eyes. Billy was expressionless. “You ready?” He asked. Valencia nodded. Billy cleared his throat and Bodie turned around quickly. “Be ready,” he said.


Valencia’s heart was pounding as she knocked on the door. She had to remind herself to breathe normally every couple of seconds. She was huffing as if she had just ran a mile. This is it, she told herself. You’re doing this. No Turning back now. Right when she had another thought to breathe normally, the door opened.

“Valencia?” Her father asked. A smile slowly formed on his lips. Valencia felt her heart crumbled. “I’m guessing you’ve made a decision.” His smile grew wider.

“I have,” Valencia said breathlessly. Her father took a step forward, letting his temple meet with the barrel of Billy’s gun. Valencia finally looked at him. He was leaning against the wall. He pushed his gun a little deeper in her father’s forehead as he forced his way inside. Valencia was right at his heels. She closed the door quietly and even locked it.

“What is this sweetheart?” Her father asked.

“I can’t let you take him,” she sighed as she came to Billy’s side. “You didn’t even want him. Why do you want him now?”

“I want to get to know my son.”

“You can’t take him,” she cried. She was trying so hard not to cry, it was choking her. “And I won’t leave. Please, please,” she begged. “Change your mind.”

Billy looked down at Valencia for a quick moment, or so he thought. In an instant, Valencia’s father had knocked Billy’s hand out of his face and had snatched up Valencia in his arms.

The sound Valencia made when it all happened put Billy in a completely different mode. She was terrified, Billy was livid. He raised his gun pointing it straight ahead at her father. Valencia squealed again.

“Now,” her father said to Billy. “You might want to put that down.” If Valencia’s screams weren’t enough to drive Billy to murder, then her appearance was: her mouth was agape in horror, her cheeks drenched in her tears, and her hands were clenching at her father’s arm which was snaked around her neck.

“Billy!” She squealed.

“Billy,” her father said evenly. “Put the gun-”

He never finished. His body hit the floor before his eyes even closed.

For a moment everything was quiet. For a moment, Valencia was in a trance. Couldn’t see or hear a thing. Couldn’t feel, couldn’t breathe. Everything was dark. It was if she were sleeping. She blinked a few times as she finally began to breathe. Her vision came back in a blur and for a second, she forgot where she was. She stared up the milky, white ceiling as she tried to remember where she was. Then she realized she was on the ground, and that she had blood on her. Her father’s blood. She turned her head slightly and found herself looking at her father’s dead body. Staring right into the bullet wound between his eyes. And in that moment, she lost it. She let out this horrifying screech as she scrambled to get on her feet.

Billy was at her side. He helped her up and sat her down on the bed. She was hysterical. What would you expect after seeing your father murdered right in front of you? But she asked for this. All Billy could do was hold her, and try to calm her down.

Valencia held onto Billy as she cried and sobbed. She knew this was going to be tough, but she didn’t know it would be like this. She figured she’d get some sort of satisfaction for having her father put down after everything he put their family through. With leaving her mother while she was pregnant, for not speaking a single word to her or a brother up until the time of her mother’s death, and for threatening to take her brother away from her. She thought she would be just a bit happy. But no. There was nothing but pain. All she could do was cry. Her shitty father was dead and it was all her fault. Worst of all, she was crushed about it.

“It’s over now, Val,” Billy said to her as she sobbed. Valencia knew it was a lie. Everything was just getting started. Now they would have to deal with cops again. This time for the mysterious disappearance of her father. “You’re not going anywhere.” That much was true. And as Valencia calmed herself down and stopped sobbing, she tried to figure out for how long.

After a while she was completely silent and Billy was so damn confused. He stared at Valencia as she stared at the wall in front of her. Completely still and silent. Her hair was a mess, her tears had dried against cheeks, and her mouth was agape. She looked years older than she really was. This is such a cluster fuck, Billy thought. He kissed her forehead just before getting up and going to the door.

“Bodie,” he called in a low voice. Bodie jogged over to the room where he saw Billy, Valencia, and her dead father.

“Everything good?’ He asked. Billy shrugged dismissively.

“As good as it’s gonna get,” he sighed. “Get rid of him, all right.” Bodie nodded. “I’m gonna take her home.” Bodie was about to step inside when Billy stopped him. “If you run into trouble, and I sure fucking hope you don’t, call me. You got that?”

“Yea,” Bodie nodded. “Billy,” he said just as Billy was turning away. “We’ve got a problem.” For the first time in minutes, Valencia looked at something other than the wall. Billy pushed Bodie out of the room and closed the door behind them.

“What kind of problem?” Billy asked with a clenched jaw.

“When I first found him, Val’s dad, he was just leaving the hotel. I followed him.” Bodie looked at Billy as if he were afraid to continue.

“And?” Billy asked livid.

“He went to the shop, Billy. He went to go see Bones.”

“What?” Billy asked. He was praying that he heard him different. “He went where?”

“He went to go see Bones.”

“How long did he stay?”

“Almost an hour. Why the fuck would he go see Bones?” That’s exactly what Billy wanted to know.

“Don’t mention a word to anyone, especially Val.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” Billy nodded as he opened the door. Valencia was kneeling down next to her father’s body. She ran her fingers through his blood soaked hair before looking up at Billy and Bodie’s shocked faces.

“We can go now,” she said. Billy walked over to her and helped her up. Bodie tried his hardest to keep his eyes off of Valencia and not say a word. He knew, just as much as them, that shit was about to turn ugly.