Dedication Takes a Lifetime but Dreams Only Last for a Night

Jacks POV: 

I woke up curled up in Alex's arms. I turned around so I could see him. He was still sleeping a soft snore leaving his mouth every few seconds. I couldn't wake him up. I grabbed my phone checked the time and realized I was supposed to be in school.

Screw it. My boyfriends leaving the hospital. I'm staying with him. I can miss school sometimes right? I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't.

I started to day dream. I could just see Rian Alex and I in a band. This could work. We could actually be a band. I was so excited. I've always wanted to be in a band.

We planned on practicing tomorrow and I was so excited. Just listening to Alex's perfect voice makes me melt. When Alex and I practiced together we sounded great. With Rian we'd sound even better maybe. I was looking forward to it so much.

Yesterday was so amazing. Alex's face yesterday. It was one of those moments you just want to freeze and live in forever. I could see myself just being with him forever. Just sitting there and talking to him was so much fun. He was so funny and smart. I could talk to him forever.

The passion in his eyes as he told me he loved me. I knew he meant it.

He wasn't Blake. Blake told me he loved me as he was fucking me. He never said it again. When I asked him once after I admitted I loved him he answered with "Love you? C'mon you're acting like a girl. No wait like a gay wuss. Oh right you are one." Then he'd smile and say just kidding.
I honestly thought I loved him. But what I had with him is nothing to what I have with Alex.

Alex suddenly turned around and stretched as he woke up. "Morning Lex." I said smiling.

"Morning Jay"

"Jay? That's a new one."

"You like?"

"Yep." Jays a cute name. I leaned and pecked him as he muttered "Gross! Morning breath."

"You know you love it! Now wake up." I answered as he broke the kiss, turned around and tried to sleep again.

After awhile of me calling his name as he muttered about sick people needing sleep, this doctor dude entered and Alex sat up.

"Hello I've come to check if your ribs are healed so you can leave. Now please leave the bed. And Alex stand here."

He said pointing next to him. After he finished prodding, and asking Alex to breath he said "Very well. You're free to leave. I hope I'll never see you here again." as he smiled and winked.

"Thank you so much." Alex said.

We packed up everything quickly and went home. Alex was being so dramatic about being free and fresh air as I realized how lucky I am to have him. I was just so happy.

We drove home and dumped all of Alex's stuff in his room. Then Alex suggested a movie marathon. I obviously said we should watch home alone and after begging and giving Alex puppy eyes he agreed.
The day after that went so fast. We watched all the Home Alones and then fell asleep. When we woke up we both shared ecstatic looks.

Today we had our first band practice. We ate breakfast and went off to Rians as he said we could practice in his basement.

Rian also seemed really excited. I barely knew him but we seemed to click really well. At first he disliked me but then we talked and just had fun. He even told me that I was not like all the rumors. To me it was such a great compliment.

We started by playing first date by blink 182. I got to admit, we weren't bad. Alexs voice was as amazing as usual. Rian was a incredible drummer.

Soon Alex started text then said " I know I didn't tell you guys and please don't be angry but I invited this kid Zack to audition. Hes a bassist and a friend of Ben the kid who helped me with Blake. So let's give him a chance right?"

Rian and I were annoyed he didn't tell us before but agreed. Just as we did so this muscly tall kid with black emoish hair holding a bass entered the room.

"Hi I'm Zack." he said shyly.

I looked at Alex and could have swore he was checking him out, looking at his jeans covered legs, Three Days Grace shirt, and gelled hair. Blake used to do the same thing. First with boys, then with girls. He

Stop it Jack. He's your boyfriend. He's not Blake, I thought as Alex answered.

 "What? Oh yeah hi. I'm Alex. That's Jack and that's Rian. " He said pointing us out with a smile.

"Let's play something." Rian suggested.

"Good idea. Do you know Dizzy by Jimmy Eat World?"Alex asked.

"Yeah it's one of my favorite songs. " Zack smiled shyly at him and Alex returned that smile. I saw that and was slightly hurt. I know its just a smile but isn't that how it always started with Blake? First a smile, then a hug, then a kiss, then a blowjob.

Never mind. I looked at Zack again. He had a nice body and was hot I'll admit it. His jeans fit him perfectly. His shirt looked like it was made just for him. His hair was perfectly arranged. He was tall like me but unlike me he wasn't lanky, and instead was muscly and strong looking. He would be a good boyfriend for Alex if he was gay. Better than messed up me.

I missed the intro as we started to play. Zack did the back vocals as he said he sings. He had a good voice, almost as good as Alex's and he was great with that bass.

No doubt about it, he was talented and could be good for the band. We did need a bassist and a person who'd do back up vocals.

But through the song I saw Alex and Zack stare and smile at each other as they sang. Each smile felt like a slap.

I told you Alex was too good for you. He can be happy with Zack. Zack's not messed up like you. Zack is perfect for him. The little voice in head yelled.

And I felt it was right.

When we finished playing Zack asked if he was in. Rian and Alex instantly said yes and I didn't have anything else to do but nod even though the only thing I wanted to do was scream no. For the band Zack would be excellent. I had to think of the band first. My stupid insecurities wouldn't ruin the band.

Zack and Alex started talking as Rian went upstairs to get food and I just stood there awkwardly. I'm not good enough for Alex. I'm just a tall lanky skinny kid with a huge nose and eyebrows and scars all over his wrists and thighs.

Face it. Zack is tall muscly, hot, funny apparently by the way Alex was laughing and super talented.

I sighed as I remembered Blake kissing another girl as I stood there watching him asking me later "Did you really think I loved you?" Smirking as he saw my tears. He said he'd love me I'd I beat up that one kid. Soon he started threatening me as I didn't want to do what he said. The cuts just got worse and worse.

Alex saved me but why would he love me? I mean look at me next to Zack. I might be a bit too jealous, insecure, and crazy but I swear he was flirting. And I was crushed.