I Wanna Be Sedated

After the argument happened in breakfast, I went to look for Chris. He must be upset right now. I can't fucking believe Mike! I opened his door and I admit, what I saw hurt. It hurt a lot. Chris was sitting on the floor, his sleeves were pulled up, exposing his burns. Some old, some new. When I say new, I mean like a few minutes new. Fucking hell. Also, for the second time today, Chris was crying his eyes out.

"Chris." I whispered, stepping into his room. His head shot up.

"Tony." He whimpered. "Why do they hate me? Why does everyone hate me? What did I do?" His voice, I could hear how hurt he was. How broken and sad he was. Shit.

"Hey, they don't hate you." He scoffed. "Just because Mike is a dick, doesn't mean all the other guys are." I sat next to him.

"I- I just don't know what I did to him. What's so bad about me liking fire? Why does it have to be a bad thing?" I just rubbed his back, staring at the wall, hoping it'd clam him down. It did.

"Tony?" He looked at me. I turned my gaze to him.

"Hmm?" He bit his bottom lip.

"I. I, uh. C- can I, uh. Umm.." He was nervous. Aww.

"Can you what? Spit it out Cerulli." I chuckled.

Suddenly, Chris leaned in, his lips meeting mine. I was shocked. Too shocked to do anything but sit there. When he realized I wasn't kissing back, he pulled away.

"O- oh God. Tony, I am so. I didn't mean to. I, I just. I'm sorry." I looked back at the wall.

"Tony, please. Don't hate me. I'm sorry. Please. You're my only friend here. Please. I'm sorry!" I looked back to him.

"Don't be. Listen Chris, you're a great guy and I'm glad we're friends, but I don't like you in that way. I hope you understand."

He blushed, then looked down. He's hiding something. There's a reason he kissed me. I mean, maybe it was because he liked me.But there's something he's not telling me. Oh, no. I don't do secrets. He's going to tell me.

"Chris?" He looked back at me, a light blush on his cheeks.

"Something you wanna tell me?" I questioned. He bit his lip, the blush getting darker.

"I like you Tony, but that's not why I kissed you." I cocked an eyebrow, waiting for him to tell me his motives. "I've sort of been Bi- Curios for a while. I just had to find out." I smirked.

"In that case, do it right." He looked at me, confusion clear on his face.

I leaned in and kissed him. At first, he was shocked. Then he moved his lips against mine. I tugged one of his lip rings, and he opened his mouth. Our tongues faught for dominance, which I surprisingly won. Then we both pulled back.

"Wow.." He whispered.

"What's the verdict?" I asked with a cocky tone.

"I could definitely see myself doing that again." He said.

"You fucking slut." A voice growled. Me and Chris both looked at the door. Michael. Of course.

"So I go from a liar to a slut?" I looked at Chris. "Well damn, I must be horrible!" Chris chuckled at my sarcasm.

"Fuck you Cesar." Michael sneered. Oh, he wants to play this way? Fine.

"Chris, I need to move out of my room. Care to help me pack my stuff?" Chris blushed, then nodded.

I got up, offering him my hand. He took it and we walked to the door. I slammed my shoulder into Michael's, tugging Chris behind me.

When we got to my room, I pulled out my suitcases. As we started packing, Michael came in.

"So that's it, huh? You're going to just pack up and leave? Don't even have the balls to talk to me? What a pussy." He snarled.

I snapped.

"You know what Michael, shut the fuck up! I don't care what you have to say! I am so sick of your shit! All you do is complain about every thing I do. Every fucking mistake I make, you throw it in my face! I am fucking done. You and me? Us? Whatever the hell we were, it's over. I'm leaving, and as of this moment, you're fucking dead to me."

With that, I grabbed my bags and left. For the time being, I put my stuff into Chris's room. I needed to talk to someone named Samuel about changing my room apparently. I walked to the room with the door labeled "Sam". I guess this is it. I knocked, twice, then waited for him to let me in.

I walked in and sat down. He looked at me and cocked an eyebrow.

"My name is Cesar, I go by Tony. I need to request a room transfer. Me and my roommate no longer get along and with my disorder I just might end up hurting him, so before it escalates to that, I would like a new room." I explained.

He blinked, then nodded. He said we were going to have a group meeting to discuss my new room.

After everyone was gathered around, we waited for Sam. Austin asked me what happened. I just told him I didn't want to room with Michael anymore. He nodded, then went back to talking with Alan. Chris patted my shoulder and I shot him a smile.

"Alright everyone, I have it all figured out. Christopher, you have a single room, correct?" Samuel asked. Chris nodded. Sweet! Me and Chris!

"Alright. Richard, pack your stuff. You will be moving in with Christopher. Tony, you will move in with Richard's old roommate. He said. I shot him a confused look.

"Well, who's his old roommate?" I questioned.

"Victor." He stated, then left. Shit.

I knew that it would make no sense to argue. I mean, I haven't gotten into any arguments with Vic. Yet. I knew he'd give me hell for what I said to Mike. Fuck. My. Life. I was in Chris's room, giving him a hug, when someone knocked on the door frame. We both looked up to see Ricky. I gave him a smile, which he returned. I grabbed my bags, then headed to the door. Ricky whispered a small 'good luck' to me as I left. Oh, I was going to need it.

I went into Vic's room, setting me stuff down. He gave me an angry glare. Might as well do this now.

"Listen, you don't want me here, and I don't want to be here. But guess what? I'm stuck here. I don't care if you ignore me. I don't care if you mutter rude things under your breath. But I'm telling you right now. Don't touch me. And don't judge me. You don't know what happened between me and Mike-." He cut me off.

"I know you broke my little brothers heart." He growled. I sighed.

"Yeah, well I'm sorry. Like I said, go ahead and hate me. Whatever."

I started unpacking my stuff. I heard a loud sigh, from Vic, and ignored it. That was, until he was beside me, one of my bags in his hand. He started taking the stuff out. My shirts. He folded them, then set them in a drawer. The fuck? He turned around.

"If you're going to be my roommate, I could a least try to get along with you." He said.

I gave him a smile and a nod. After my stuff was unpacked, again, I sat on my bed. Vic sat across from me.

"Something you want?" I asked.

"Look, I will admit, you shouldn't have lied to him about talking to Chris. And you definitely shouldn't have kissed him-." I cut him off this time.

"He was questioning his sexuality. All I was doing was helping a friend." I said. Realization crossed his face, before he shook his head.

"But I will also admit Mike didn't have to react that way." He said.

Wait, what? Did he really just say that? Why was he being nice to me? He's supposed to be taking his brother's side, not mine. I didn't understand, at all.

"Why are you taking my side?" I questioned. He leaned in closer to me. The fuck?

"Because you don't deserve the shit Mike said to you." He got up and left.

I laid back on my bed. My fingers traced the scars that my tattoos covered. I thought back to just last month. The tormenting, the name calling. Everyone at my school, how they hated me. Except Jaime, of course. Vic was wrong. Vic was so, so fucking wrong. I deserved it. I deserve it all.