I Wanna Be Sedated

I was sitting there in the bathroom stall. Blade pressed to my wrist and tears running down my face. I knew it'd be easy to just cut, but I couldn't. I couldn't break my promise to Jaime. Or to Mike, Chris, or even Vic. I know, he broke his promise to me, but I couldn't do that to him. So I got up and put the blade back. Then, I went back into my room, and shut the door. Vic wasn't in there, so I just laid on my bed. There was a knock on the door.

"It's open!" I yelled. Mike came in.
"Oh, hey Tone. My bad, I thought Vic would be in here." He said, still standing by the door. I sat up and motioned for him to sit with me. He did.
"It's cool. I wanted to speak with you about something anyways." I said. He cocked an eyebrow.
"What'd you wanna talk about?" He asked, cocking his head slightly.

"I have a question, Mike, and I need you to be honest with me." I told him, seriously. He nodded.
"Okay, shoot." I smiled at him.
"You like Oli, don't you?" I asked. His eyes widened.
"W-what? N- no, don't be silly Tony. Me and Oli are just friends." He whispered.
"Mike, it's okay if you do." I said gently.
"No it's not! He'd never like me! He could do so much better than me! And it hurts Tony! It fucking hurts..." He whispered the last part. I felt my heart break.

I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay. But for now, all I could do was give him moral support. I rubbed his back. He leaned his face into my neck and started to cry softly. Shit.

"Shh, don't cry Mikey. I'm here, it's alright. Don't beat yourself up over this. It's gonna be okay, I promise." I whispered, hoping to soothe him. He clung to my shirt.
"It hurts so bad Tony!" He shouted. I switched out rubbing his back, to running my fingers through his hair.
"I know Mike, I know. But you have to keep it together, please. For me, for Vic, for Kellin, for Chris. Just please. Please." I whispered. He nodded.
"For you guys, I'll try." I smiled.
"That's all I ask." He nodded again.

Then, the door opened. In stepped Vic. We stared at each other. He seemed frozen at the door. I saw tears forming in his eyes, and I felt bad. Then, his eyes landed on Mike and he tensed.

"Mikey, what happened?! Who fucked with you?! I'll kick their ass, just give me their names!" He yelled. It was kind of cute, how overprotective he was being. Mike lifted his head up.
"No one fucked with me Vic. Me and Tony were just talking about something." He said softly. Vic bit his lip, but nodded and went to his bed.
"I'm telling you Mike, just tell him. You'll never know unless you TRY. Anything is possible, I promise." I said, still running my fingers through his hair. Mike thought it over, then nodded.

"Alright, I'll tell him. But if I get rejected, we're going to have a problem Perry." Mike said with a smirk. I laughed, then nodded.
"Yeah, alright Fuentes." He stuck his tongue out at me.
"Catch you later big bro." He called to Vic. Vic nodded, then smiled.
"Later little bro." Mike smiled back.
"Bye Tony! And thanks, for everything." I simply nodded. With that, he left.

Vic and I sat there, in complete and utter silence. I wanted to talk to him so bad, but I knew he'd never forgive me. Sure, he called me a psycho, but I shouldn't have exploded at him like that. I had a million different ways to handle it, yet I chose the worst one possible. My thoughts were cut off by Vic.

"You know, I learned a song from Kellin. If it's okay, I want to play it for you." He whispered. I nodded.
"Go for it." I said softly.
"Okay." He whispered back. He pulled out his acoustic, then tuned it.
"This song is dedicated to you, by the way." He said. Before I could reply, he started playing.

"Oh, my stomach's tied in knots
I'm afraid of what I'll find if you want to talk tonight
Oooooo, oooooo
See the problem isn't you, it's me, I know
I've seen it time after time
And I'll push you away, mmm
I get so afraid.

And I can't live without you now
I can't even live with myself
And I can't live without you now
And I don't want nobody else

I only have myself to blame
But do you think we can start again?
Cause I can't live without you"

He placed his guitar back in its original spot. He got up and sat on my bed in front of me. He took my hands in his.

"That's all I learned. And if it's not clear, that's my way if saying sorry. Sorry for hurting you, sorry for breaking my promise. I'm just sorry, sorry for everything. And I know you won't just forgive me, but I'm willing to-" I cut him off with a kiss. He kisses back, tugging on my hair.

"I forgive you. I forgive you for everything. Just please, never hurt yourself again. Don't hurt me again. I mean, please don't ever call me that again. That- that hurts a lot." I whispered. Vic held my face in his hands.
"I promise. I swear. I'm so so sorry." He said. I nodded.
"I- I love you Tony." He said, so softly I almost didn't hear it. He loves me. Victor Vincent Fuentes loves me! I smiled.
"I love you too Vic!" I squealed. He chuckled, then kissed me again.

My life couldn't get any better.