Passenger Seat

I had been awake for a while now. It was almost 10 in the morning, and I was completely content to just lie in Niall’s arms as he slept. But sadly, I had to be at the bakery at 1.

I was lazily running my fingers through his hair as his head rested on my chest. He was practically on top of me, with his leg shoved between mine, and arms securely around me. It was awesome to wake up like this, but also unbelievably hot, which is kind of why I woke up, but I didn’t mind.

He shifted suddenly, and his breathing changed, signaling he was waking up. “Don’t stop,” he whined as my fingers froze against his scalp.

I chuckled, “Sorry,” I muttered before I started up again.

He shifted his head around so he was looking up at me, “How long have you been awake?”

I shrugged, “About an hour.”

“Why didn’t you wake me,” he groaned.

“Because you looked so content sleeping.” He just groaned in response. “How you feeling after drinking last night?”

He shrugged, “’m fine. A bit thirsty, but not too bad.”

“I’ll go get you water.”

“Noooo,” he whined, clinging to me as I tried move. “Stay, I’m not that thirsty.”

I laughed, and gave up trying to move. Niall turned me so we were lying on the bed facing each other, “Morning.”

“Morning,” I smiled.

“What time do you work?”

“At 1.”

He made a face in disapproval, “too soon,” he said as he buried his head in my neck. We laid like that for a bit, content to be wrapped around each other. “I have to start packing today,” he moaned.

I laughed, “You’re leaving in two days and you haven’t started packing yet?”

He rolled to lie on his own pillow, “I always wait to the last second. I think the only one that doesn’t is Liam. Zayn doesn’t even pack half the time.”

“He’s an odd duck.”

Niall erupted into a fit of laughter, “I’d say he was.”

I smiled, reaching down and lacing my fingers with his. I love moments like this with him, where we’re just alone, being us. It really hits me how much I’m actually in love with him. It freaks me out a bit, honestly. “I don’t want you to go,” I whispered. I hated myself as soon as the words left my mouth.

The happiness was whipped off his face as he turned to look at me. He turned into me and brushed his free hand through my hair, “Hey, it’ll only be for a few days, then you’ll be flying out of the weekend.”

I nodded, “I know. Just gonna have to get used to the distance, yeah?”

He grimaced, “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head, pushing away the negative thoughts a bit, “It’s fine, don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No, hey, I like that you said it. We should be able to talk about this.”

I was getting frustrated with myself. I felt like I wanted to cry, and I don’t cry. And I especially didn’t want to do that to him. I told him I wouldn’t cry over this when we decided to be together. I needed to steer the conversation away from where it was headed, “Just think of how great the sex will be after we’ve been apart for awhile,” I smirked.

He threw his head back into the pillow laughing before he rolled us so I was on my back with him hovering over me. He kissed over one side of my neck before kissing across my collarbone to kiss up the other side of my neck. He popped up and kissed my lips quickly, “Can our sex get better? ‘Cause honestly it’s amazin’ right now.”

“Oh, it’ll be mind blowing,” I giggled.

“Well then, I can’t wait!” He rested down against me again, letting one of his hands slip under his tank top I was swearing. My skin heated up under his touch. As his hand reached up to my bare breast, his phone went off with an alert. He groaned, “Worst timing ever.” He rolled off of me and grabbed his phone. “Harry wants to hang out,” he sighed.

“Maybe he’ll help you pack? Team work!”

He smirked at me before typing a reply, “Did he tell you Dakota broke up with him for no reason?”

“Yeah. I’m sure there’s a reason though,” I shrugged.

He scoffed, “Then she should let him know, yeah?”

I nodded, “I’m gonna try talking to her, see if I can help.”

“I’m surprised she didn’t tell you herself. Something’s up with her.”

I shrugged again, “Yeah, it’s obvious. Just having a rough time.”

“Girls are weird,” he smirked.

I leaned over and kissed his shoulder, “Yep.”

He wrapped his arm over me, pulling me under him, “Do you want to shower?”

“Is it a long shower?”

“Obviously,” he said in a duh tone.

*****

On the way to work, I called and texted Dakota, asking her to call me.

When I got to the bakery, Blue, Jess and my aunt were all at the counter, huddled around Blue’s camera. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Showing them pictures from the shoot yesterday,” Blue said.

“You all look amazing Ayd,” my aunt said. I came up behind them to view the pictures. They were looking at one of me, Josh and Niall between takes. It was a candid of us, and we were all in a state of laughter, “Can I get a copy of that?”

“Of course,” Blue smiled.

Jess shook my shoulder, “I can’t wait to see this video! I can’t wait to say ‘oh, I know her,’ when people talk about it.” I hip checked her before I wondered off to the back to clock in.

The bakery today was less busy than it has been. Which was awesome, because I was knackered. Another plus, the few obvious One Direction fans that came in were nothing but nice, which I was thankful for.”

On lunch, I went out to the back and checked to see I had a missed call from Kota. I sat at the bench as called her back.

“So who told you?” she said as soon as she picked up.

I bit my lip, “Harry.”

I heard her sigh, “I was gonna tell you. But then I just… didn’t want to deal with the world for a while.”

“I understand. But you know you can talk to me. I mean, if you want.”

“I know,” she said softly. “What it me do you get off today?”

“Six. I’m closing.”

“Do you want to have dinner with Eleanor and I?”

I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me, “Of course.”

*****

“So what happened? How long has this been going on? Why didn’t you tell me?” Eleanor said as soon as we were seated in the restaurant.

Dakota looked wrecked, much like Harry had last night. “I don’t know. It’s mostly my fault, I know that, but he fucked up too.”

“Well why don’t you start from when it started. What started the fighting?” I asked.

She shrugged, “I don’t know. I think part of me resents him for all the hate I get in the media and online. I try so hard not to let it get to me, but it does.”

“You should have told me,” El interrupted. “No one understands how hard that is more than me. You know that.”

Kota shrugged, “I don’t know. I didn’t want to dump it all on you. Especially because you deal with the same crap, probably worse. But you have thicker skin than I do.”

“Kota,” Eleanor cooed softly. “You know you can come to me with anything.”

We paused our conversation to order our food. We were quiet, waiting to Kota to continue after the water left. El and I exchanged uneasy glances.

“When did it get worse?” I asked, “When did the fighting escalate to the point it’s at?”

“He forgot our anniversary.”

“He what?!” El shrieked.

Kota shrugged, “Didn’t even notice we’d been together for a year.” She sighed, “It’s not like I care about anniversaries, except for big ones. Like the One Year Milestone. That’s kind of a big deal. But instead, he went to a club with his friends. He didn’t even talk to me the whole day.” She was getting teary eyed.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” El asked.

She shrugged, “I didn’t know how. But I know I should have instead of letting it eat away at me, but I just didn’t know how.”

“You still can,” I said. “It’s not too late.”

She shook her head, “But it is. For me anyway. I need to take some time, you know? I’m not happy. I need to get back to being me.”

Eleanor slumped in her seat, “I just want you to be happy with Harry. But I understand.”

“I just… I just need some space. And when I get back to being the real me, if he still wants me, then it’ll work out,” Kota shrugged. “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”

“It is!” El insisted.

Dakota smiled lightly at her friend, “Just… tell Harry I need some time.”

We spent the rest of dinner talking about other stuff. It was obvious that Kota didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so El filled the conversation with classes and random stories of Louis being stupid.
“She’s hiding something,” El said after Kota drove away and we were walking to our cars.
“You think so?”

She nodded, “I could tell. I mean, everything she said was probably true, but there’s something else going on…”

I looked over my car at her at hers, “What do you think it is?”

“No idea. But I’m going to figure it out.”

*****

“I can’t believe I forgot our anniversary!” Harry groaned into his hands.

After dinner with Dakota, Eleanor and I went over to Liam’s house, where all the guys were. When we got there, they all started grilling us on what Dakota said.

“Smooth one, Haz. You idiot!” Zayn shot.

Harry glared, “Oi, I didn’t see any of you reminding me!”

“S’not our relationship,” Niall said sarcastically, “Didn’t know I was supposed to keep track of your important dates.”

Harry ran his hangs down his face in a frustrated manner, “I don’t get it. Why didn’t she just talk to me? I mean, obviously the anniversary thing is my fault, but she could have said something about the media and stuff. That’s not like her not to say something. We could talk about everything.” He sighedand pulled out his phone.

“She said she wanted space, mate,” Louis threw out.

“Well I don’t fucking care,” Harry snapped.

Liam took a seat on the couch next to him and out a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Hey, calm down yeah?”

“I can’t Liam! The girl I’m in love with broke up with me because she wouldn’t just talk to me! If Dani did this you’d be doing the same as me right now.” He shot up from his seat after his outburst, “I’m going home.” We all watched him march out of the room followed shortly by the front door slamming.

“Now that he’s gone…” Eleanor piped up, “I think what Kota told us wasn’t all that’s going on.”

“What does that mean?” My boy friend asked.

She shrugged, “She was just, I don’t know how to explain it, but I could tell there was something else bothering her. I like to think I know Dakota pretty well, and I could just feel that something wasn’t right.”

“Well what are we supposed to do about it?” Louis asked.

El shrugged, “You lot don’t have to do anything, but I’m going to figure it out.”

“I’ll help,” I interjected into the conversation.

She sent me a grateful smile, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

Zayn eyed us for a moment, “And how are you two going to do that?”

“Don’t worry about it Zayn,” EL shot, “We’ve got it handled. Just make sure Harry is on his game this week. Don’t let this bring him down too much.”

“I’ll go over tomorrow and make sure he’s packed,” Liam said. When the room was silent he looked at the three guys in his living room, “None of you have packed have you?”

“I’ve been busy!” Louis defended.

Zayn shrugged, “You know how I am.”

“Right,” Liam shot as he turned to Niall, “And what’s your excuse?”

“Yeah, I’d like to hear it too,” I said nudging my shoulder into his, “You had all day.”

“I was with Harry all day!”

Liam rolled his eyes, “You’ve only got tomorrow, we’re leaving at 5am Friday morning.”

Louis threw a hand up, waving him off, “Okay Daddy Direction, calm down. We’ll be packed, we aren’t children!” When he said that Liam, Eleanor and I started laughing. “Oi, fuck off, the lot of you!”

We all laughed at that, and Niall leaned into me, pulling me against him, “Wanna help me pack?”
I sighed dramatically, “I suppose I could do that, yeah.”

We got up and said out goodbyes to everyone and I followed behind Niall in my car to his flat. We walked into his room and of course his suitcase was still empty, in his closet.

I got him to pull it out, as well as his carryon and got to work, “Alright so how long are you going to be gone, 17 days?”

He thought about it, counting in his head, “Yeah, sounds about right.”

I nodded, “So we’ll pack like 20 shirts and 20 pairs of boxers, and as many pants as you see fit I guess.”

“My god, where have you been all my life?”

“Shut up and bring me your clothes.”

“Are you gonna fold them too?”

I rolled my eyes, “Do you not fold them?”

He shrugged, “Not since I moved out of my mom’s house.”

I shook my head, “Guys are so predictable.”

He just kissed me on the cheek as he went to pull stuff out of his closet. After he tossed a pile of clothes next to the suitcase I was in front of, he came behind me and wrapped his arms around me as I started to fold and pack his bag.

“If I didn’t love you before, I sure would now,” he said resting his chin on my shoulder. I could hear the smirk in his voice.”

“You’re a wanker.” He laughed and kissed my neck.

Once I was had his suitcase about halfway full, Niall sat on the bed on the other side of his bag and laid on his back and watched me.

“So who’s taking you to the airport?” I asked.

He shrugged, “I’ll probably crash at Louis’ or something and get a ride with him.”

I bit my lip as I focused on folding one of his jumpers, “Can I take you?”

He sat up on his elbows, looking up at me, “You want too?”

I tossed the now folded jumper down before looking at him, “Well, yeah if you don’t mind,” I shrugged.

“We’d have to leave at like 3am to get there in time.”

I nodded, “I figured.” I don’t know why I was nervous asking my boyfriend if I could take him to the airport, “But that way, I could see you as much as possible until you’re gone for a week.

He smiled up at me, “I’d love that.”

“Really? Cause if it’s easier to go with Louis, I understand.”

He shook his head and stood up, wrapped his arms around my waist, “I’d rather spend more time with you.” He smiled, placing his forehead on mine, “S’gonna be the longest week ever until I see you.”

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, “I know.”

He leaned in and placed his lips on mine, kissing me slowly in that way that turns my knees to jelly. “I love you,” he said against my lips.

“Ditto,” I mumbled before pulling him into a deeper kiss.

*****

Because of work, the next day went by way to fast. After I got off I went straight to Niall’s flat where we spent the rest of the day together. We got food and watched the tellie, and even had sex a few times. I think he was trying to make up for the dry week ahead of him. I was a bit sore by the time we got into his bed to try and sleep, but I didn’t care. It was worth it.

Niall passed out almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, but I couldn’t get myself to sleep. I didn’t sleep at all as I dreaded when the time would come for us to head to the airport. It was like I was worried I’d wake up and he’d already be gone. I knew it was a ridiculous thing to think, but I couldn’t help it. I kind of felt stupid too, because I’d see him in exactly a week’s time.

2:30 came all too soon. Niall didn’t even stir when his iphone’s alarm started to go off. I reached over him and turned it off before I started uncurling the blonde Irish lad from around me. “Ni, get up, you’ve got a half hour to shower real quick and make sure you’ve packed everything.”

“No,” he stated without even moving or opening his eyes.

I chuckled, leaning down to place a kiss on his cheek, “Yes, now get up.”

He huffed before he rolled and stretched out next to me on the bed, “Fine,” he sighed. He sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, “Shower with me?”

I smiled but shook my head, “No, we don’t have time for that.”

He just groaned before he got up and sulked into the bathroom.

I sat on the bed for a few minutes, just trying to collect my thoughts and control myself enough to not cry. When I heard Niall shut off the shower water after his quick shower I hopped and headed into his kitchen to find something quick for us to eat for breakfast. I found some poptarts and threw them into the toaster as I heard Niall shuffling about, shoving things in his carryon. As he ran by the kitchen at one point, I held out a cooked poptart for him. He snagged it before kissing my cheek and carrying on his way back to the bedroom.

I ate my poptart there at the counter as I watched him do a sweep of the flat. “Alright, I think I’m ready.” I nodded as I finished the last of my tart. I went to pick up his carryon with shaky hands, but his grabbed my hands in his instead, “Hey, are you okay?”

I inhaled deeply before I let out a shaky breath, “Yeah. Well no, but I’m fine.”

He grabbed my face pulling my eyes up to meet his, “Hey, I’ll be seeing you 7 days from now, next Friday night. Not that long.”

I nodded, “I know, I just… I don’t know if I can go into that airport with you. I might cry, and I don’t want to cry in front of you.”

He kissed my cheek, “That’s fine. We can say goodbye in the car.”

“I’m sorry. I thought I could do this but-”

“Hey, it’s okay. I get it. It might be easier for me to say goodbye at the car too.” He kissed my lips slowly, “Come on, we should go.”

I grabbed his carryon, and he grabbed the big suitcase before we headed down to my car. We loaded his bags into the boot, and when I closed it, I noticed my hands were still stupidly shaking. Niall reached over and pulled my keys from my hand, “I’ll drive, alright?” I didn’t trust my voice to I just nodded. He kissed my head before he walked over and opened the passenger door for me.

I was a wreck the whole ride, and the only thing I cared about was holding his hand. I didn’t even care that the radio was on to some top 40 crap. I was so annoyed with myself for how I was reacting right now. He was going to be gone for two weeks, and I’d be seeing him between them. I was being annoying. This behavior is why Niall didn’t want to be in a relationship. Why did I have to be such a girl?

When we got to the airport, Niall parked in the VIP lot. We were parking right as Liam, Zayn and Harry were walking towards the airport. Louis pulled up with Eleanor only seconds after we did.

Niall raised our tangled hands to his mouth and kissed my hand, “Are we saying goodbye here?”

I was about to answer when Louis banged on Niall’s window, “Come on love birds, let’s go!”

Niall flipped him off before he turned back to him. “No, I wanna go in.”

“You sure?”

“No. But I’m going in with you.”

He leaned over and pecked my lips before we both climbed out of the car. We got his stuff out of the boot, and I carried his carryon again. We walked with Louis and El in silence into the airport. There were a few photographers there, but surprisingly no fans.

Eleanor and I stood back as the guys checked their bags, then we walked with them to the security checkpoint.

“Alright ladies, this is where we say goodbye,” Paul told us all. He had gotten here right as the boys were bag checking.

I said goodbye to the others, hugging them and wishing them a good time. I hugged Harry a bit longer than the others, telling him that he’d be alright. He told me to look after Kota for him, since he couldn’t anymore. His sad tone broke my heart.

And then it was just Niall left. He held his arms open for me and I fell into him, “Just 7 days, yeah? It’s nothing.”

I nodded into his chest, “I know. We’re not saying goodbye.”

“Nope.”

“And we’ll skype if you have time?”

He smiled down at me, “I’ll make time.”

Then his lips here on mine. It was that slow, deep kiss again. It felt so good over the ache in the chest.

“Come on guys. Niall, Louis, let’s go,” I heard Paul say. Niall pulled away then.

I still clung to him though, throwing my arms around his neck, holding him in a bone crushing hug. Over his shoulder I could see El and Louis in a similar embrace. The others were already going through security.

“I love you,” he said into my hair before placing a kiss on the crown of my head.

“I love you too,” I whispered. I could feel the tears coming, but I held them back. Only a few more seconds and he’d be off.

He pulled back then, placing one last kiss on my lips before he grabbed his carryon from where I had dropped it at our feet and walked over to security. I bit my lip so hard to keep myself together. He glanced over his shoulder before he stepped through the metal detector.

Eleanor was at my side then, linking her arm through mine. As soon as she touched me a tear leaked down my cheek and I turned around so Niall wouldn’t see in case he looked back again.

She wrapped her arms around me and I completely lost it. My body shook in full on sobs. “I need to get out of here,” I said through labored breathing and giant tears.

“Come on, love,” she said softly and started leading me out of the airport and back to the cars. I tried to calm down as we walked, but it wasn’t helping much. She stood with me at the car as I cried myself out. She shed a few tears too. “It’ll get easier. It sucks every time, but it won’t hurt as much after a few times.”

“I don’t know if that is comforting or terrifying,” I laughed through tears.

“I know,” she laughed with me. She whipped her tears and helped me whip mine, “You okay to drive?”

I nodded, sniffing the last few tears away, “Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” she pulled me into a hug, “You call me if you need anything or just a good cry, yeah? We’re in this together. Dani’s coming home in a few days as well.”

“I will. Thanks.”

She gave me a comforting smile, and kissed me cheek before she climbed into Louis truck. I turned and fell into mine and sat there for a minute to just catch my breath. I pulled my phone out of the cupholder where I left it to check the message that was blinking.

From: Nialler
It’s okay you cried. I love you.

My heart seized at those words he typed. He had seen me lose it in the middle of the airport.

I typed an ‘I love you’ back before I took a deep breath and started the car.