Passenger Seat

I woke up an hour and a half before I had to be at the airport to pick up Niall. I had a text from him waiting for me that said Paul was going to pick me up in an SUV and take me to the airport because a bunch of fans were already at the airport waiting for my boyfriends arrival.

Well I guess we wouldn’t get any alone time until Paul dropped us off. Boo.

I still felt like crap from all the drinking I did last night, so I downed some Tylenol and hopped in the shower. I was irritated at myself for drinking so much and for being somewhat of a bitch to Harry and Niall. I should take a breather from drinking for a while, at least that heavily.

I got out and changed into the new bra and knickers I’d bough just for Niall’s return. Mock me all you want, but I regret nothing. I looked amazing in the red lacey boy shorts style knickers and the matching bra that made my boobs look a full cup bigger. But other than that I didn’t put much effort into getting dressed, especially since now I wouldn’t even be leaving the car. Just threw on a pair of black yoga pants, an old The Script shirt and one of Niall’s hoodies.

Paul picked me up right as finished getting dressed. Perfect timing. “You excited to see Niall?” he asked as we were on our way. He looked at me through the rearview mirror where I was sat in the back seat. Even though I insisted I sit up front with him, he wasn’t having it. So I was being chauffeured.

I smiled at him in the mirror, “Yes. Extremely.” Paul and I continued to make small talk on the drive to the airport. He was a real cool guy, seeing as he was pretty much a glorified babysitter.

When we pulled up to the airport there were so many fans outside waiting. “This is way more than I anticipated,” I said aloud.

“This is why I had to come,” Paul said. “I have to double park, airport security know he’s coming in, so I’m going in to get him and there will be security outside of the truck while you wait here, yeah?”
“Uh, yeah okay.” This was mental. It wasn’t even the entire band, it was just Niall! Sometimes I think I underestimate my boyfriends popularity.

As soon as Paul got out of the car, the fans started getting loud with excitement. They also tried to see into the SUV’s tinted windows and started shouting the names of other One Direction members, including my own. Two big security guys kept them at a distance though. I checked the time on my phone; 15 minutes until Niall’s plane actually lands, so it’d be about 20 or 30 until I saw him, and that’s not including the time he’d have to spend getting through the fans. I’m trying not to be bitter, but I haven’t seen him in weeks alright!

So there I sat, alone in the car, while I watched One Direction fans try to peer at me though the dark windows. I texted Blue to kill some time, but when I heart shrieks and screams I knew he was here. He was a few feet away from me. I could just barely make out the top of his snapback over the crowd of girls swarming him. It took everything in me not to throw myself from the car and shove my way to him.

I think I was shaking. I was gripping the edge of the seat in anticipation. This was killing me! He was so close but still so freaking far away! I could see Paul moving slowly through the crowd, guiding Niall no doubt.

And then I saw him. There was a break in the crowd and I saw him, bent slightly signing something for someone. He looked up at the fan and I caught the smile he gave her as he handed her stuff back- my favorite smile. My heart kicked into over drive by that. He was here. He was going to be in this car, next to me, in only a few minutes! And why am I shaking? This is so embarrassing!
Finally he was moving more quickly towards the car now, saying goodbye to the fans as he passed. Right when he got to the back door he handed Paul his bags to put in the boot and climbed in next too me. As soon as he had shut the door I launched myself at him. I was practically on top of him, burying my face in his neck.

“Hey,” he chuckled. “Miss you too.” He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me to him tightly. “You’re shaking babe.”

“I know,” I mumbled. “I don’t know why, and it’s embarrassing.” I vaguely registered hearing Paul get back in the car, and the SUV start to move, but I stayed where I was, sitting on Niall with his arms securely around me, and he let me. We sat like that, in silence, just holding each other. He placed soft kisses on the crown of my head every now and then and gently rubbed patterns into my hips. We were probably breaking several car laws, but I couldn’t bring myself to care enough to move over and put my seatbelt back on. I was letting myself be ridiculous for once, and I was going to enjoy it. Wasn’t like Niall was complaining or anything.

He lightly pressed his lips to my ear, “I’d really like to kiss you babe,” he whispered.

I shook my head, still in his neck, “You’ll have to wait until we’re not in the presents of Paul. That’d be a bit rude, yeah?”

“You’re killin’ me,” he chuckled. “Can I at least look at your face? You hid it from me as soon as I got in the car.”

I leaned up and pressed me forehead to his, “Hey,” I smiled. He smirked and tried to leaned up and kiss me, but I was faster than him, “Nice try Mr. Horan,” I leaned away from him but his arms were still firmly around my waist keeping me on his lap.

He shrugged looking unapologetic, “I’m not sorry for disobeying. I had to try.”

I laughed and glanced at Paul over my shoulder. He was paying good attention to the road, pretending we weren’t here. I reached down and dethatched Niall from my waist as I scooted back into my own seat. Niall reached over and laced our hands together and I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder. Then he rested his head on top of mine contently for the rest of the ride.

When we pulled up to his building there was a small group of fans. I held back my sigh, “I’ll take your bags up to your flat and wait for you yeah?”

“You don’t have to do that,” he protested, “I can just tell them I have to go.”

I scoffed, “It’s fine Ni, there aren’t that many of them anyhow. Give me your keys.”

He huffed but handed over his keys nonetheless. We all got out, Paul included to stand by Niall’s side, as I went around to the boot and grabbed his duffel bag and his big roll away suitcase. When I came around, Niall was already in the middle of the fangirls. He caught my eye for a moment and I gave him a reassuring smile, which he returned, as I headed into the building and up to his flat.

When I walked into his empty place, it was exactly how it was when we left to take him to the airport a month ago. Nothing had changed, although I don’t know why I had expected it too seeing as no one’s been in it since. I lugged his bags into his room (where I noticed his bed was still unmade from when we crawled out of it that morning), and set them against the wall to wait to be unpacked and washed.

To kill some times as I waited for him to get up here, I went into the bathroom to re-brush my hair, and brush my teeth. As a spur of the moment decision I took off my shirt and just threw back on Niall’s jumper over my bra. I felt nervous in the bottom of my stomach and I didn’t know why. We’d only been apart for 2 freaking weeks. I almost hated myself for how I felt right now.

When I heard the door open my heart jumped into my throat, “Ayden?” Niall called.

“In your room,” I shouted back, shutting off the bathroom light and walking back into his room. He was in the doorway to his bedroom within seconds and just stood there staring at me.

“You look good in my clothes.”

I bit my lip to hide my smile, but I’m sure the blush on my cheeks was a dead giveaway, “I’m sure I look even better out of them, yeah?” a massive smile crept its way on his face, but he stayed where he was in the doorway. “You just gonna stand there or what?” I asked, then reached down and pulled off his jumper leaving me in just my yoga pants and red laced bra.

Niall’s eyes bugged out of his head as he stared at me. He took a few quick strides before he was in front of me with his hands on my hips, “This is new,” he said staring down at my chest. He reached up and lightly fingered one of the straps, “You’re breasts look massive.”

I chuckled, “That’s the idea of bras like these Nialler.”

He smiled, glancing up to look me in the eyes, “Can I kiss you now?” he practically whined.

I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, “I’m not going to stop you.”

As soon as the words were out of my mouth his lips were on mine. He sighed into my mouth as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me flesh against him. He was kissing me like his life depended on it, and I was doing it right back. When his tongue touched mine, I couldn’t take it. I reached down and pulled his shirt off over his head. Our lips dethatched for only a second before they were smacked back together as I tossed his shirt away.

His hands danced across my skin up and down my sides while mine did this same down his back and up his chest. I reached down and undid the jeans and left them hanging off his hips. He pushed my yoga pants down and I shimmied out of them, the whole time never breaking out kiss.

His hands brushed across my knickers and he pulled away to look down at them, “These are new too,” he smirked up at me, “I like ‘em.”

In response I went to kissing and nibbling on his neck. I was in no mood for talk right now. I needed him, I needed him close. When I bit down rather hard on his collarbone he let out a hiss before he roughly grabbed at my bum, grinding me into him. I could feel him through his jeans which turned me on more. He reached up and undid my bra before pulling it off of me, throwing it to the ever growing pile of clothes. He pushed me back a bit, indicating he wanted me on the bed already. I sat back and scooted to the top of it as I waited for him to follow. I pulled his shoes and jeans off before he crawled on top of me. “I missed you,” he said against my neck.

“I missed you too. Almost too much,” I moaned when he bit down on the skin where my jaw met my neck. He started kissing down my body, sending shivers all over me.

He kept whispering my name, and saying ‘I love you’ as he went. I mumbled if back as he assaulted my skin. He hooked his fingers under the waistband of my knickers as he nibbled and sucked on my hip bones.

“Are you really giving me love bites on my hips?” I asked as I sat up on my elbows looking down at him.

He smirked sitting up a bit, “You told me I could leave them in your neck because it wasn’t classy, remember?” I did remember this conversation, but before I could answer though he was pulling off my knickers.

*****

The sex was slow and gentle. His thrusts were like waves and he wouldn’t go faster even when I begged. The way he moved made me feel things I wasn’t prepared for. We were making love[i/] in every sense of the term. It was just like the sex we had before I left America. By going slow I noticed that Niall was able to last longer which was able to give me multiple orgasms, and ladies- it was amazing.

Once we had both finished we laid in his bed, naked, just holding each other. He absentmindedly traced pictures into my bare shoulder, leaving kisses on it here and there as he did. I had so many thoughts and emotions running through my head that I didn’t know what to do with.

“What’s on your mine babe?” Niall asked, breaking me through my thoughts. I looked of him shocked. He smirked, “You were staring off into space for a bit and you sighed a few times. I kind of picked up on it.”

My first instinct was to deny any and everything. But the better part of me was trying to be open and honest, and make this relationship last. I took a deep breath, “I’m scared.”

He looked alarmed and his fingers froze on my skin, “Of what?”

I bit my lip, “Of us. How much I feel for you.” I looked back up at the ceiling, “The last two weeks have been hell without you. If it’s this bad for only a few weeks, how am I going to deal when you’re gone for months at a time?”

We were both quiet for a long time after my confession. Niall’s fingers were still frozen in place on my shoulder and I was afraid to look at him. “Are… are you breaking up with me?” he said out of the blue.

“No!” I said instantly. I rolled so I was facing him. He had a look of hurt on his face that was like a stab in my heart, “No, I’m not trying to break up. That’s the last thing I want!” I insisted. “I’m just trying to tell you how I feel, what I’m thinking about.”

Relief washed through him when I said that and he let out a sigh, “You about scared the shit out of me Ayd, jeez.” He ran his hand through his hair.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean too.”

He leaned over and placed a slow kiss on my lips. Yes, the one that got me every time, the one I could feel all the way down to my toes. “We’ll be okay,” he mumbled against my lips when we parted. “You can visit as much as you can. I’ll make sure I have more time to call and skype, we’ll have to work hard, but we can do it.”

“I hate talking to you on the phone,” I sighed, “’S’not the same.”

He pulled me in close, “I know. I know it sucks and almost feels worse, but what do you want me to do? It’s my job.”

“I know, and I knew going in it would suck. It’s just hard sometimes, yeah? And you told me to talk to you when I felt like this, so I am.”

“I’m glad you are. I just hate seeing you all tore up when I can’t do much to change it.” He kissed my forehead, “We’ve got a whole month together before I have to go off to perform on all the X-Factors. We’ll be fine. We can do this,” he insisted.

I leaned over and buried my face in the crook of his neck, wrapping my arms around him. He pulled me in without a second thought and held me. “I’m sorry I’m being weird about this,” I mumbled before placing a kiss against his skin.

“’S’alright.”

“I just… I didn’t expect to love you so much. It’s new to me.”

“It’s new to me too babe,” he chuckled. “I don’t think I ever truly loved someone until you. This is a whole new level.”

I popped my head up at stare down at him, “That’s exactly how I feel too!”

He leaned up to press a quick kiss to my lips, “We’re gonna get through this Ayden. Don’t worry so much.”

I sighed contently and rested my head on his chest. We would be fine, we’d figure it out. I just needed to stop stressing.

I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “Tell me about your first time.”

“What?” He laughed.

I shrugged, “How old were you when you lost your V-card. Who was she?”

He sighed, “You really wanna know?” I could head the smile in his voice without even looking.

“Yeah why not.”

“He name was Emily. I was 17.”

“Oh, so it was during X-Factor?” I cooed.

“No,” he chuckled, “Right after. We kind of dated before I tried out. When I came home I saw my opportunity and took it.”

I laughed, “Nice one.”

“Thank you. You’re turn.”

“His name was Drew and I was 16. Total nobhead, but for some reason I liked him at the time. Made him wait a whole 6 months of dating before he got it. He was terrible at it. I could tell even though I had nothing to go on,” I laughed. Niall hummed and he started tracing random shapes into my skin again. “Tell me about the first time you were in love, or thought you were.”

“Well,” he sighed, “I guess it was this girl Jenny…”

We went back and forth like that talking about our dating history. We had talked about a lot before we started dating, but for some reason, aside from Josh and Demi, we never talking about relationships. It was a good light conversation surprisingly despite the heavy topic. Even when he brought up his time with Demi, I didn’t let it get to me. I was trying to let myself fully trust him.

If anything, this conversation just cemented how much he really did care about me.