Passenger Seat

I woke up to Blue throwing herself down next to me on my bed, “Wake up sleepy head, it’s already noon.”

I groaned and buried my head in my pillow.

“What time did you get home last night?”

“Almost 4,” I mumbled. I drove around with Niall again last night. We’ve been hanging out more and more lately, I really enjoyed his company on my drives now.

Blue poked my face, “How is Mr. Boy Band?”

I rolled over onto my back and stretched, “He’s fine.” Blue just sighed, which caused to look over at her. She was staring at me with an unreadable face, “What?”

She shrugged, “Are you sure nothing’s going on with you and Niall?”

I yawned, “Yes. I promise you, if there was, I would tell you. We’re just friends.”

“I don’t know how you do it. He’s so fit, and he has that killer accent,” she giggled, “If I was in your shoes, I would have jumped him by now!”

I rolled my eyes, “He is all those things, but I just don’t see us happening as anything more than friends. So just calm down.”

“I just want my best friend to be happy, and fall in love. Is that so wrong?”

I shook my head, “No. But stop putting so much pressure on me with Niall. It’s not happening.”

“Never say never.”

I just grunted in response as I stared up at the ceiling.

“You are so… secretive about your friendship, it’s hard not to jump to conclusions.”

“We aren’t secretive,” I shot.

She scoffed, “Come off it, I still have yet to properly meet him outside of the bakery.”

“That’s because you’re never around when he is.”

“Right,” she rolled her eyes, “Have you met his friends, or is it just you that’s keeping him hidden.”

“I’m not hiding anything,” I groaned, “And no, I haven’t met any of his friends. Well Liam in passing a few days ago.”

She was quiet, not responding.

I glanced over at her, “You can meet him any time you want. There’s nothing I’m hiding. And I’m hopefully dragging him along to the concert coming up.”

“Speaking of, have you talked to Josh yet? Every time I’m over at Max’s he asks about you.”

Josh. To be honest I’ve been kind of avoiding that whole situation. I was never a fan of confrontations. That, and I hated hurting people… not that I was sure I was hurting Josh or anything.

“Nope,” I said answering her question.

She rolled onto her side to full on face me, “It’s been almost a week Ayd. You have to face the music sometime right?” I just shrugged. She sighed, “You’re my best friend, but he’s also my friend, don’t string him along, yeah?”

“I know,” I moaned and rubbed some sleep out of my eyes.

“Hit him up today. Get it over with.”

“I’m busy tonight.”

I didn’t have to look at her to know she was smirking, “With Niall.”

It was a statement, not a question. I let out a big sigh, “Yes. Still doesn’t mean we’re anything more than friends.”

“Please,” she scoffed, “You hang out with him almost as much as you hang out with me now.”

“Whatever bitch,” I said sitting up. Niall and I have been hanging out a lot. But it didn’t mean anything. In fact, I think he thought of me as like, one of the guys or something.

Blue laughed and stood up, “Wanna go get lunch?”

I nodded, “Sure. Let me shower real quick.”

When she left my room, I grabbed my phone to check if I got any emails or texts during the night. There was a text from Josh waiting, sent at 10am, while I was practically I a sleep coma.

From: Josh FranSEXY
Just booked a tour with All Time Low in the states. Thought you’d enjoy that!

Okay, I really needed to change his name in my phone back to something normal. When we first exchanged numbers, I had a massive crush on him, so that’s how I saved it. He saw it once and made fun of me so bad for it. But it worked to for me, since we started hooking up after that.

I smiled at the ‘thought of you’ part. The part of me that still had slight feelings for him felt triumphant that he did think about me when I wasn’t thinking of him. I sighed, thinking about what he asked at the concert last week. I knew I had to tell him I was done being anything more than friends with him. I just didn’t want to lose him completely over it.

I bit my lip, thinking over my options. I could go talk to him before I went to Niall’s tonight, and just get it over with. I groaned as I typed a quick text to him about hanging out of a bit later before I left my phone on my bed to go shower.

*****

Blue and I had lunch at the sandwich shop down the street from out flat.

“So how is the Drop Dead shoots going?” Blue has been busy working with Tom shooting for Drop Dead’s new line coming out.

She swallowed her food, “Good. I’ve been working with Oli and Amanda mostly. Oh,” she sighed dramatically, “And Matt Godfrey. God he’s fit.”

I laughed, “That he is.”

“Oli and Amanda have been asking about you. They want me to bring you along to a shoot.”

I shrugged, “I’m game, depending on when.” I’ve never been to a clothing line photo shoot before. Up until now Blue’s only done concert shots. Josh has invited me to his clothing lines shoots before, but I never took him up on the offer.

“I’ll be at it all day tomorrow if you want to come after work.” She picked at her crisps, “We’re shooting in the Drop Dead store tomorrow and out back.”

“Alright,” I threw down the last few bits of my food, full, “I’m working 9 to 1 tomorrow, but I’ll swing by.”

She smirked, “Can I convince you to let me shoot you?”

I glared at her, “Is that why you want me there so bad?”

“Oh come on,” she pleaded, “Amanda agrees that you’re too beautiful not to be shot! And Oli said he’d love to have you on his site! And you get paid!” she rambled, “it’ll be extra money in your pocket!”

I sighed, “I don’t want to be a model.”

She scoffed, “Having your picture taken for Drop Dead won’t make you a model, just awesome!” she laughed. “All you have to do is wear a t-shirt and like leggings or skinny jeans, not a stretch for you,” she said eyeing my skinny jeans and Dance Gavin Dance shirt I was wearing. I rolled my eyes at her as she continued, “And I can use pictures of my best friend in my portfolio! So when I’m this big famous photographer I can thank you and the little people.”

I rolled my eyes, “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

“Please! Pleeeeeease!”

I threw a crisp at her, “I said I’d think about it, you tosser!”

“Okay, fine,” she surrendered. “I’ll get you to let me shoot you one way or the other,” she said lightly. I rolled my eyes at her comment.

When we finished lunch we made our way down the street back to our flat, “Are you headed over to Max’s?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well I’m headed over there to talk to Josh, so we can carpool if you want.” I shrugged.

She laughed, “I thought you were too busy to talk to him today,” she brushed her shoulder against mine.

I smirked, “Well you’re right, I can’t just keep putting it off, so might as well do it now.”

She threw her arm around my shoulder, “Whatever makes you happy darling,” she kissed my cheek with a loud smack.

I shoved her away laughing, “Yeah, I love you too.”

*****

When we got to Josh and Max’s place, Blue and Max wondered off to his room, leaving Josh and I alone.

We were sitting in the couch, awkwardly. I didn’t know where to begin. Thankfully, Josh beat me too it.

“So you’ve been avoiding me,” Josh said with a smirk. I hated when he did that. It was so hard to read what he was thinking when he masked his emotions behind a smirk or cheeky grin. It’s why it was so hard being with him in the first place. It’s probably why we only hooked up for a few months and stopped when he left for tour, I didn’t know if I could trust him enough to tell me everything.

I ran my hand through my long brown hair hair, something I did a lot when I was stressed or nevus, “I’m sorry about that. I just… don’t know what to say. I don’t really know what you want from me.”

He shrugged and looked away from me, “I want to be with you, I guess.”

I bit my lip and looked down at my lap, “Like before? Or like as an actual couple?”

“Why do we have to label anything?”

I looked back up at him and he was still staring away from me, “Because when we don’t label things, I’m not sure where we stand, and it just makes things complicated.” I sighed, “I don’t want to do that anymore. I told you that the last time we… yeah,” I felt my face heat up thinking about the last conversation like this we had. It was only a few weeks ago, after a party. Even though we weren’t like we were last year, we still had a habit of falling into bed with each other from time to time.

“You mean when we had sex, then you bailed on me right after saying ‘I’m not doing this anymore’?” He shot, he didn’t sound angry, just annoyed.

My face burned more by how bluntly he stated that, “Uh, yeah.” I sighed, trying to gather my thoughts, “Look, Josh. I love hanging out with you, you’re one of my really good friends, but I don’t want to just be a hookup anymore. I deserve more than that.”

He sighed and finally met my eyes, “I get it. But I don’t think I can give you what you want right now.”

I nodded, “I’m not asking you too. I’m just saying that I don’t want to be that girl you call for a warm body anymore.”

“Is there someone else?” he asked out of the blue. He didn’t look accusing, just genuinely curious.
When he asked that, Niall’s face popped into my head. The shock and how unexpected the thought was made me falter. I tried to keep my face composed, but I don’t think I did a good job, because he gave me a curious look, “No, there isn’t another guy. I just don’t want this anymore.”

Josh eyed me for a moment. I didn’t know if he believed my answer, but if he didn’t he didn’t mention it, “Okay. I guess I can accept that. Simply friends it is then.”

I smiled, “Yeah, friends.”

He pulled me into his side then in a hug, “But you know, if you ever want to take out any sexual frustrations on someone, my doors always open.”

I laughed, “Oh, thanks,” I said sarcastically smacking his chest. I felt a laugh vibrate through his chest.

“So, while you’re here, you want to hear some of the new tracks we’re working on?”

I shot up out of his grasp, “Fuck yes I do!”

He smirked at me, standing up and pulling me with him down the hall to his room.

I’d like to say I was fully focused on listening to the new rough cuts of You Me At Six, but I wasn’t. My mind kept floating to how Niall popped into my head when Josh asked if there was someone else.

I don’t know why it happened, but it bugged me that it did.

*****

When I got to Niall’s building, I noticed a few photographers around. That must be so weird, having people follow and wait outside your place for you. I walked right by them and most of them didn’t even give me a second glance. A few snapped a picture, asking who I was, just in case I guess. I just ignored them and kept on walking.

Niall’s door flew open as soon as I knocked, but it wasn’t Niall I was greeted by.

A guy with a full head of curly hair smirked at me and leaned against the doorframe, “Well hello there, love. You must be Ayden.”

“And you must be Harry?”

“The one and only,” his eyes raked down my body.

“Are you checking me out?” I laughed.

He looked back up at my face, shocked at my accusation, “Maybe. Niall didn’t tell me his friend was so-”

“Harry!” Niall snapped, coming up behind him, pulling the door open more. “God, I told you to let her in, not flirt with her at the door step,” he smacked his shoulder then turned back to me, “Hey babe, come on in.”

I walked in, slipping by Harry, who didn’t move an inch out of the doorway.

Niall walked around me when he shut the door, leading me to the living room. “Sorry about my mate here, he’s got no manners.” I turned just in time to see Harry rolling his eyes, “And he was just leaving.”

Harry laughed, “Yeah, okay, I can take the hint.” He walked over to me and kissed my cheek, “It was nice meeting you love. Hopefully Niall will actually bring you around sometime.”

“Yeah,” I smiled, “Nice meeting you too.”

When Harry walked passed Niall he lifted his eyebrows suggestively, which made Niall go bring red. I turned to act like I didn’t see the exchange. I’ve never seen Niall like that. He’s always so confident and cheeky with me.

When the door clicked, signaling Harry’s departure, Niall cleared his throat awkwardly, “So uh, I ordered take out. Should be here soon.”

I turned back to him, “Awesome. What you get?”

“Chinese,” he smiled. “Wanna beer?” he gestured towards the kitchen and started walking over.

“Yes please,” I said, following him. I sat down on a stool at the counter. He popped the top and slid a bottle at me. “Thanks.” I took a long sip, “Oh, so I brought High Fidelity, since you still haven’t seen it.”

He laughed, “I knew you would.”

“Oh, you think you know me?”

“At this point, I think I do a bit.”

I scoffed, “Lucky guess.”

He smirked and took a swig of his beer, “So what you do today?”

I shrugged, “Not much. Spent most of the day with Blue really. You?”

“We were in the studio writing some things, other than that nothing exciting,” he laughed.

I nodded sipping at my beer. I always felt like I drank them too slow when I was around Niall, but I think that was because he threw them back like a champ. “So have you given anymore thought to coming to that concert with me? Backstage, I promise. We’ll keep your appearance on the down low.” I laughed.

He smirked, “If you want me to come, I’ll be there.”

My stomach erupted with butterflies. It always happens when someone agrees to let me drag them to a show or concert. That and I think I was just really excited to share it with Niall. I started picking at the label on my bottle, “Of course I want you there. It’s why I invited you.” When he didn’t say anything I looked up. He was looking over at me with an unreadable expression. Like a mix between amusement and curiosity. “What?”

He shrugged, “We’re seeing You Me At Six yeah?” I nodded. “So I looked them up… Your ex is their singer.” It was a statement, not a question.

That explains the look he gave me. “Uh, yeah.”

He nodded slowly, “I recognized him from the picture in your flat. So… it won’t be weird? If I’m there I mean? I mean we’re friends, but he’s not like…”

“Overly jealous?” I offered.

“Yeah, like he won’t want to kill me just cause we’re friends?”

I shrugged, “I don’t think so.” And I didn’t. Josh was never the type of guy to start drama over something as ridiculous as a girl. Especially at a concert. And seeing as we worked things out earlier, he shouldn’t care who I’m friends with. “Josh isn’t like that. We’re friends.” I shrugged.

“Just thought I’d ask. Me management would kill me if I got in a fight in public,” he laughed.
I smirked, “I promise to keep you out of harm’s way,” I held tree fingers up, “scouts honor.”

The doorbell rang then, “Must be the food, I’ll be right back. Meet you in the living room.”

As soon as Niall walked away to the door, his phone started buzzing on the counter next to me. I glanced at it as I drank my beer. Demi flashed across the screen. I knew enough about his band to know that it was probably Demi Lovato and he has or had a huge crush on her. That they were friends or close friends. But he had never once mentioned her in conversation, so it was a bit surprising to see her name flash away on his phone.

It eventually stopped, and I got up to head to the living room, but then it started vibrating again. I sighed and turned back and grabbed his phone and took it with me.

When I got into the room he was setting two bags of feed on the coffee table, “So Demi keeps calling,” I said holding his phone out to him.

He grimaced as he took it, hitting ignore and setting it on the table. Instead of asking I tried changing the subject, “Think you ordered enough food?” I joked as I sat down on the couch.

He barked out a laugh, “You’re asking me if I have enough food? The limit doesn’t exist to me!”

“Good point.” His phone started ringing again, “You can answer that if you want. I don’t mind.”

He shrugged hitting ignore again, “I kind of don’t want to deal with that right now,” he said digging into the food.

I tried to hide my smirk at his bluntness, “I know the feeling.”

“It’s just,” he started, “Never mind.”

“You can talk about it if you want,” I offered. I didn’t care if I heard his reasons for ignoring her or not, but if he wanted to vent I wouldn’t stop him.

He handed me one of the paper plates and I started loading it with food. He did the same before he sighed, “We’re friends you know? And I liked her a lot, but she kept jerking me about and now I’m over it.”

“You have no idea how much I understand what you mean right now,” I said taking a bite of my eggroll.

“Where they want to be with you but not actually with you?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed.

“Bollocks.”

“Preach it Niall!”

He laughed, “Thanks. Anyways, I’m over it, but she calls every once in a while so I just ignore it most of the time. Don’t need the drama.” I just nodded and continued to eat, “So where’s that movie.”

*****

“It was good.”

“Good? That’s all you have to say?” I said dramatically. We had just finished High Fidelity, and I wanted to know what he thought.

He smirked, “Well I can see why it’s your favorite movie. You’re just like the main character,” he chuckled.

I threw my hand over my heart, “That is such an amazing compliment!”

He laughed standing up, “You’re so cute. Want another beer?”

Did he really just call me cute? “Oh, uh, yeah, sure,” I tried to cover up my surprise at his comment.
He came back with two beers, and he popped in another movie. But I couldn’t concentrate on it at all. Sitting in a dark room, alone, I had this ridiculous pull to just lean over and kiss him.

What the fuck was that? We’ve watched movies before, and I never had this uncontrollable urge. What is with me today? Is it because Blue keeps putting it in my head or is it because I could maybe, really, actually like him?

I tried to push all those thoughts from my head and concentrate on the movie.
*****
I woke to my phone alarm going off. When I started to feel around, I realized I wasn’t at home and in my bed. That, and my phone was in my pocket. I reached in and turned it off. I sat up slowly, and took in the situation. I was pressed between the back of the couch, and Niall, and I was practically laying on top of him.

I vaguely remembered feeling tired but didn’t remember actually falling asleep. And I definitely didn’t remember falling asleep like this. The time on my phone said 7:45, so I had enough time to get home and shower before I had to get to the bakery.

I slowly sat up more, trying to get up without waking him. I untangled my legs from his, and was just about to crawl over him, when his arm wrapped around my waist more, pinning me to his chest. I was practically straddling him at this point.

Well fuck. This is probably going to be the most awkward thing ever. I started to try and remove his arm from my waist, and shake him awake a bit, “Niall. Hey, Ni wake up.” I patted his cheek a bit, trying to sit up at the same time.

He stirred a bit before opening his eyes. When he noticed how close we were his eyes opened wider, “Uh, hi?”

“Hey,” I chuckled awkwardly, “You’ve got me kind of stuck here,” I said nodding towards his arm.
He realized what was going on and let me go, “Oh sorry.”

I slid off of him and stood up, “It’s alright. I didn’t mean to fall asleep last night.”

He sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes, “S’okay, I did the same thing. Obviously.” The sleepy eyes, plus the smile was giving me was the most adorable thing I think I’ve ever seen.

Oh god, what it wrong with me.

I smiled back awkwardly. I straightened out my shirt and ran a hand through my hair, “I should get going. I need to shower and change for work.”

He nodded standing up. I tried not to notice his shirt ridding up as he stretched, “I’ll walk you to the lift yeah?” I smiled in thanks.

When he opened his door, his hand fell to the base of my spine. It’s like his touch set electricity through my body. This is all Blue’s fault! These thoughts wouldn’t be going through my mind if she hadn’t planted them there!

“So if you go on a drive tonight, and want company, call me,” he said as we reached the lift. He pressed the down button and smiled at me.

I nodded, “I will. Last night was fun.”

“It was. Except for Harry being… Harry when you got here.”

I chuckled, “I didn’t mind. He seems like a good time.”

Niall snorted, “He can be.” The lift doors opened then, “I’ll see you later Ayd.”

“You will,” He pulled me into a big hug before I backed into the lift. I waved to him as the doors closed.

I sighed and leaned against the wall, “What is happening?” I moaned.