The Boyfriend (Experience)

“Sweet heart…” A female voice rings in my head. “Wake up, breakfast’s ready.”

It’s probably one of the voices in my current dream. The dream’s a total mess. Gibberish words spin around, blotches of different colored paints splatter about and conversation extracts who don’t connect with each other pour into my ears. What the hell?

I want to change dreams when loud sounds of cymbals banging bring me to awareness. Then I roll to the ground by a foreign force. My ass lands first.

I’m going to teach the intruder a lesson for pushing the Dillon Everett off his bed. My nostrils flare up like a raging bull in a corrida. I flip my eyes open.

“Woke up?” I adjust my vision to the morning light and I freak. It’s her Everleigh!!!

“What the hell are you doing here!?” I demand, enraged.

“Made you breakfast.” Everleigh replies. “Oh and it’s already set on the table.”

“Which idiot gave you my address???”

“Oh right,” she slaps her forehead. “I was walking on the street after having shopped for groceries and I decided to inform you about my arrival. Then I tried several times to join you but failed. I-“

I laugh so hard. She actually thought that it was my real number! She also kept her offer.

“Why are you laughing?”

“ ‘Cause that’s not my real number!”

My supposed girlfriend frowns.

“It doesn’t matter. What really matters is that a kind girl named Shelley, who saw us arguing yesterday, approached me. She asked if I had a problem and I told her everything. After, your friend explained to me where you live.” The red head smiles.

Ugh, I’m going to kill Shell. I’m so assassinating her when we catch up with our friends later. My down-to-earth friend will regret her mistake forever. An evil grin forms on my lips.

“Do you need medication or something?” Everleigh glances at me, worried.

“What?”

“Never mind.” She shrugs off. “Get dressed. NOW!”

“Otherwise what?” I look at her teasing her.

Miss bossy warns me. “You don’t know what I’m capable of. Seriously, do you know how I even got inside? I picked your door with this bobby pin!” She withdraws the tiny thing out of her head.

Who is she in fact??? What I found out that she’s not normal. Better not creep on her nerves, a note to myself.

I grab my clothes and I gesture to Everleigh to go away. Although I have pretty good abs, she’s not going to stay watching me taking off my pajamas! She does and I get dressed.

I open the door and my nostrils are filled with delicious smells of crispy bacon, buttery scrambled eggs and scones? I sit and am fairly impressed by what stands before me. A hotel breakfast buffet!

“What are you staring at dumbly?” She worries. “Well, dig in!” I do as I’m told.

I stuff myself, my cheeks round and stuffed like a chipmunk. I just eat, eat, EAT. I lick my fingers when I’m finished and scrape off the tiny rests from plates. I stretch my arms, my belly full. I go straight to the front door and slip on my sandals.

“Don’t forget,” my dear “love” surprises me. “Lunch is at twelve. Don’t be late otherwise the consequences can be dire.”

Ooh I’m so terrified! I don’t listen and rush to the garage.

“Where are you going?” She shouts.

“To Baubridge Bar.” I shout back.

***

“Dillon has a new girlfriend!” Shell gleefully brings up the subject.

“You broke up with Monique?” Sam enquires. “You guys only went out for a week!”

“Whatever dude,” I defend myself. “She was useless so she deserved it.”

“Is she hot?” Aiden, the usual flirt, says curiously. “What’s her name?”

“Her name’s Everleigh, Aiden,” Shell takes my place to answer him. “And she seems too focused on Dillon.” She winks at me.

“She might be at first,” my Casanova friend opposes. “But when Dillon breaks her precious heart, she would gladly run into my arms.” He opens them proudly.

What makes him think that every female in this town will fall for him? Sure he has the money, the honor, the fame. Yet apart from those qualities, we are both assholes. He’s worse because he’s trying to hide that fact and he’s not that handsome.

“She makes me breakfast.” I reveal flattered. “Her predecessors never did that. So she’s a keeper, I’m telling you!”

“Stick to your word, man,” Sam intervenes. “I mean you consider that she’s the one but later when she does something which bothers you, you dump her.”

“I’m telling you,” I assure him. “She loves me so much that she can’t stand that I’m a minute late.” I take a sip of my beer.

Suddenly the entrance door flaps open and I see a familiar face. Not Again... What is she doing here!? I pray she’s not coming to the bar, instead is heading towards a table. No such luck. I quickly turn my face. Her hand grabs my shoulder out of a sudden. I gulp nosily, preparing for the worst.

“Why are you still here!?” She panics. “It’s past twelve!”

“So…?” I look at her clueless.

“We are supposed to see the obstetrician fifteen minutes ago!” She screams.

I choke. My friends stop talking. I feel like I’m watched by all of the people at Baubridge. Now great, she made everyone believe I knocked her up! For what!?

“Guys, this is complete bullshit!” I try to put an end to this misunderstanding.

“You call the marvelous moment we spent weeks ago, bullshit?” She trembles. “Then our little angel is bullshit too???” She bursts out crying.

Everybody gasps in horror.

Man, she can shed tears fast!

“Dillon!” Shell is consoling Everleigh. “How dare you say that when you took part in this… this incident!”

“Is this the reason you broke with Monique?” Sam stares at me unbelievably. “Wow I knew you were a dick but not like this. Wouldn’t be friends with you if I don’t want bad reputation. Especially from the ladies. .” He takes off.

Whoopee my friends are dumping me for something I didn’t do!

I’m searching for quick support. Certainly not from Aiden who’s snorting with laughter crazily. I’ll deal with his ass later. Shell’s eyes are insisting me to react that I do.

I put my hand on Everleigh, soothing her.

“Look, I’m sorry for whatever I did.” I start. “But the truth is how can you get pregnant when we didn’t-“

Everleigh stops crying miraculously and stares at me.

“You’re apologizing!” She talks happy. “So you love our baby, right?”

I open my mouth to object. She kisses me. WHAT THE HECK!!! Still I have to say that this kiss was pleasant. She makes me feel like we are the only two beings in this world. I’m beginning to judge her positively. She doesn’t force me and starts softly. Later I join in but she pauses briskly.

“We can’t just stand here!” She frets. “We have to hurry! The obstetrician will be pissed off!” Again!

I don’t budge but she takes my hand and rushes outside while running. God, she’s strong for someone who’s tow times smaller than me! We run until we reach an empty valley.

“What…what was all that about!?” I pant.

“I told you that there will be dire consequences if you come home late for lunch.” She reminds me.

“For that!?” I gasp. “Jeez, why couldn’t you just spoke to me?”

“Yeah and you’ll listen pretty much,” she rolls her eyes. “I realized you have a stubborn, unpredictable personality.”

“I would pretty much listen!” I argue. “I would rather follow you and taste your gourmet lunch than spending fifteen bucks on a microwave pie at Baubridge!”

“Sorry! Wait I can fix this misunderstanding!”

“How?”

“We’ll go to your house and will wait for an hour. Then you’ll text to your friends that the pregnancy was a false alert and they’re invited to lunch to put some relief to this tension.”

“I hope it will work genius.”

“Sure it will. Trust me.”