I'll Never Be Good Enough

"Are you sure about that?" The voice said in my ear.

Yes. Completely sure.

"Really?"

Yes, now go away.

"Jack! Come over here!" Alex yelled, his brown hair being whipped into his eyes by the wind.

As I walked over I noticed that Tay was clutching his right hand. Tears sprung to my eyes and I turned away and walked in the other direction.

"Jack! Where are you going?" Alex called through the wind.

I couldn't answer, if I had, I would've started crying there and then. I heard footsteps behind me and then felt a hand grip my shoulder. I shook it free and ran away from Alex, towards my house.

I knew it wasn't a smart idea, after all he had a key to my house, but it was the only place I could think of.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I slammed my front door, locked it and slid down to the tiled floor. I slowed my breathing until it was normal again.

I leant forward until my forehead was on the floor and I was sprawled across the hallway. Tears were streaming down my face, I realized.

"Jack! Let me in!" Alex yelled.

"No." I said, still on the floor.

"Jack, come on, let me in." Alex pleaded.

"No."

I heard him sigh and a thump as he slide down to sit on the other side of my door.

I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand.

I can't face him, not when he says he loves me, but then still goes out with Tay.

"Cut, it'll help your pain." The voice murmured in my ear.

Maybe it would, I thought.

I stood up and went into the kitchen, checking behind me to see if Alex had managed to gain entry to my house yet. I browsed the drawers, searching for a suitable knife to cut myself with. I found one and sat down on the kitchen floor.

First I lightly traced my forearms with the tip of the knife and then I pressed down harder until blood seeped out.

"Jack." A voice said.

I looked up and saw Alex stood near the door. He had tears running down his face.

I stopped cutting and put the knife down next to me.

"Jack, why?" Alex choked, walking over to me and sitting next to me.

I sniffed, "Y-y-you said you love me, several times and then you go out with her."

"How do you know that?" He replied, shocked.

"Well, you sort of told me about a month and a half ago...

"I did?"

"Yeah you said, if I remember correctly, 'I love you, more than a best friend should, but I don't care.'" I explained, watching his hands as they wiped away the blood.

"You were awake?"

"Just about."

Alex blushed, "Crap."