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Taken
Junior year is tough enough without having to go through a loss, even something as stupid as what I was going through. I was trying everything at one point to see him, because, damn, I missed him! Every night I fell asleep thinking of him, every morning I woke up hoping to see him. It wasn't just a stupid crush anymore. It wasn't an obsession, in the stalker sense, but it was big. It was bigger than what I had ever known, what I have ever experienced. I didn't know how to handle it.
I began opening up more to my friends about him, making jokes and swapping stories. My friend Jamie had a small suspicion that he liked me; I too thought so at this point. I was able to get away with anything in the classes he used to be in, we exchanged a few stare-downs, small things that I didn't really notice too much back then, but dwelled on this year. I was always happy when I saw him, he'd wave to me whenever he saw me. I always waved back, but if he didn't see me I would never call out or wave first. I was afraid, I was too scared to draw attention to myself.
But I soon got over that. I asked for him to help me in math, which didn't help once I realized I had to be with the underclassmen to be near him, and couldn't get any time with just him. My new-found friendship with a girl named Shataria was now on my mind. She would make jokes with me about Zappa, she was the one who pushed me to even contact him. It was that year where I thought everything was going pretty good, I figured that nothing bad could really happen. I was wrong, in a way.
Prom would be coming up in about two months; of course, it was the prom for the seniors then, but juniors were allowed to go. Shataria was on the prom committie, and wanted me to go to prom. We joked about Zappa being my date, I remember her saying she would ask him.
"Really? When?" I asked, giggling. I never thought she was serious.
"Today, after school. I'll ask him." She gave me a nod.
"I'll wait outside of the door for you," I replied, face on fire. I was sure she wasn't going to do it.
School soon let out, and I soon realized that yes, this girl really was asking him. Oh shit, I thought, waiting anxiously for her to come back. She told me all about what had happened as we walked down the stairs.
"He didn't say anything, he didn't say yes or no," she told me, smiling.
I asked for details, what was exactly said.
She said that it went like this;
"Zappa, are you going to prom this year?"
"No, sorry, I can't make it."
"Oh, well, you should go with Haley."
"What?"
"Haley..."
"That's not appropiate..."
"She's 16, Zappa, she's legal!"
She said that he just waved her off, and for awhile this made me so happy. I never truly thought about anything. It was that next night when everything went downhill.
I began opening up more to my friends about him, making jokes and swapping stories. My friend Jamie had a small suspicion that he liked me; I too thought so at this point. I was able to get away with anything in the classes he used to be in, we exchanged a few stare-downs, small things that I didn't really notice too much back then, but dwelled on this year. I was always happy when I saw him, he'd wave to me whenever he saw me. I always waved back, but if he didn't see me I would never call out or wave first. I was afraid, I was too scared to draw attention to myself.
But I soon got over that. I asked for him to help me in math, which didn't help once I realized I had to be with the underclassmen to be near him, and couldn't get any time with just him. My new-found friendship with a girl named Shataria was now on my mind. She would make jokes with me about Zappa, she was the one who pushed me to even contact him. It was that year where I thought everything was going pretty good, I figured that nothing bad could really happen. I was wrong, in a way.
Prom would be coming up in about two months; of course, it was the prom for the seniors then, but juniors were allowed to go. Shataria was on the prom committie, and wanted me to go to prom. We joked about Zappa being my date, I remember her saying she would ask him.
"Really? When?" I asked, giggling. I never thought she was serious.
"Today, after school. I'll ask him." She gave me a nod.
"I'll wait outside of the door for you," I replied, face on fire. I was sure she wasn't going to do it.
School soon let out, and I soon realized that yes, this girl really was asking him. Oh shit, I thought, waiting anxiously for her to come back. She told me all about what had happened as we walked down the stairs.
"He didn't say anything, he didn't say yes or no," she told me, smiling.
I asked for details, what was exactly said.
She said that it went like this;
"Zappa, are you going to prom this year?"
"No, sorry, I can't make it."
"Oh, well, you should go with Haley."
"What?"
"Haley..."
"That's not appropiate..."
"She's 16, Zappa, she's legal!"
She said that he just waved her off, and for awhile this made me so happy. I never truly thought about anything. It was that next night when everything went downhill.