Where Did the Love Go?

I opened the door and Sidney was standing there. With a girl.
“ Hey Nicole can I talk to you for a minute?”
We were still standing at the door way. No way was I going to let him in my house, when he brought some girl with him.
“ Nicole this is my umm.. girlfriend Crystal.” Sid said avoiding eye contact with me. Wow if that doesn’t sound like a stripper name I don’t know what does. I started to shake and I could feel my head getting heavy. I felt someone put there arms on my shoulder, and I immediately turned around and saw Jordan standing behind me. He gave me an encouraging smile. I couldn’t stand on my own and he knew that. So I leaned back against him, and he helped me stand up and keep my composer. He gently started rubbing my back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“ Guys we have some news for you!” Sidney yelled in the locker room. All the guys quickly turned around and stared at us.
“ Guys were getting married!” he said telling all the guys in the locker room. They all cheered and told us congratulations.
“Good for you Sid. You finally did it ,you know if you didn’t ask her to marry you soon. I would have asked her to marry me.” Kris Letang said wrapping his arms around me.
“Yeah no way was I letting you have her. She is all mine forever and you are not going anywhere near her.” Sid said with a laugh wrapping his arms around me from my back and letting me lean on his chest.
“ Oh your never going to let me go?” I asked in a flirty voice
“ Nope never.”
“good.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What happened to all that love? Where did it go? Did it just disappear?

He told them he wouldn’t let me go, but he did. Not only did he just let me go, he pushed me away and forced me to go.

“Oh Jordan what are you doing here?” Sid asked looking a little confused.
“ Mommy and Uncle Jordan had a sleepover .” My youngest son Brent said before I could answer. I felt my heart drop. What do you say to your ex-husband when he finds out that his friend and teammate spent the night at your house. Wait a minute why do I car, he is the one that is bringing some bimbo with fake boobs over to my house. Its not like Jordan and I even did anything.
“ Ummm…” was all Jordan said I knew he didn’t know what to say, and neither did I.
“Jordan stayed here because I was scared and alone. We only got divorced a week ago and I needed to not feel so.. So abandoned.” I said not caring if I was being rude to the bimbo.
“ So you call my teammate?” Sid said sounding a little angry.
“ Uncle Jordan comes over every night. He tells us about hockey.” My son Sid Jr. said to his father.
I saw the look on Sidney face get sad and depressed. I knew that this hurt him. Hockey was the one thing that he shared with the boys. Many nights after dinner Sid would sit down and watch hockey games with the boys. The often didn’t understand the rules or calls, but they understood what they player were trying to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There I was laying in the hospital bed after just giving birth to our first son Sidney Jr. Sidney was laying in the hospital bed with me watching me as I held our son.
“Wow I can’t believe we actually have a baby.”
“ I know. He is perfect.” I said gently rubbing my sons head.
“ He is perfect. I cant wait to teach him everything I know about hockey. Maybe he will even follow in my footsteps and play in the NHL.” Sid said sounding very excited.
“ Lets not get ahead of ourselves here. We need to teach him how to walk first.” I said giving a Sid a small smile.
“The minute he learns to walk we are going to buy him skates and then every night until he is in the NHL I am going to sit with him and watch a hockey game until he knows everything there is to know about hockey. Unless he doesn’t like hockey.” Sid said with a laugh
“Yeah he can do that after he does his homework.” I said laughing slightly. I remember thinking just how lucky I was. I had an amazing husband a healthy new baby boy. I had everything I had ever wanted minus a few kids. That was one of the many nights that I had with Sidney that I went to bed truly happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What happened to all that love? Where did it go? Did it just disappear?
“ You watch hockey with him?” Sid asked obviously heartbroken.
“ Yes daddy Uncle Jordan is the best!” my son Brent said going over to Jordan and hugging his leg. Jordan bent down and picked him up and placed him on his hip and started talking to my two sons. Jordan picked the both up and held each one of my sons on his hips.
“ come on boys lets go leave the adults to talk about boring stuff.” Jordan said giving me a small smile he leaned in and whispered “ if he does anything to make you upset come get me and I will beat him.” I started laughing at what he just told me.
“thanks Jord.” I said laughing at him
Jordan walked out of the room with my two sons. I had no other choice but to let Sid and the bimbo in.
“ So unmm. Nicole this is my girlfriend.”

“Yeah I know you told me already.”

“ Right. Sorry well I just wanted you to meet her, because she is going to be spending time with the boys if that is okay with you.”

“ Um actually Sid I don’t know. I don’t really want the boys getting attached to someone who might not be around in a few months. You know what I mean?”
When I said that I saw the anger in his eyes. I knew this made him mad, but I really didn’t care. He crushed me and left me devastated when we got separated.
“Not really. They can get attached to Jordan, but not my girlfriend?” he said in an angry voice.
“ Jordan isn’t going anywhere. How do I know that you wont break up with her in a month for someone else and then the boys are devastated. They have gone through enough this year.” I said giving him a very angry voice and raising my voice.
“ Whatever Nicole. Don’t take your anger with me out on Crystal.” he said in an angry voice.
“I’m not angry with you, actually disgusted is the right word. You can take the boys tonight, but I want them back at 10 am tomorrow.” I said getting up and walking away. I walked into the boys play room, and Jordan immediately looked up and ran over to me and gave me a hug. I didn’t want to cry in front of the boys, but I was very close.
Sidney soon walked in followed by the bimbo. Jordan let go of me only to stand directly behind me.
“ Mommy are you going to be okay all alone?” My son Brent said in his sweet little voice.
“ Oh yeah I’ll be fine.” I said kneeling down so that I would be at his eyelevel.
“ Are you sure mommy?” My other son Sid said.
“ Your mommy will be fine. I‘ll take care of her. ” Jordan said bending down
“ Yeah I’m sure you will.” Sid said in a quiet voice but I still heard him. I gave him a really dirty look.
“And then tomorrow when you guys come home, I will take you two and your mommy to the zoo. Deal?”
I looked over to see the really pissed off look on Sidney’s face. For the first time in a long time, I actually felt bad for him. I still loved him and I didn’t want to see him in pain.
“Yay!” they both yelled and the clapped their hands.
“ Alright boys I will see you tomorrow.” I said leaning over and grabbing them both into a giant hug.
“ Love you mommy!” they both said at the same time
“Love you too!” I said. They walked over to Jordan and gave him a big hug
“ Love you Uncle Jordan.” they both said
“ Love you too boys.”
We walked out to the front door. Crystal was already at the car and the boys were heading down the steps. Sidney turned around gave me a small smile and said “ Bye Nicole.”
I felt the tears forming in my eye.
“ Bye Sid.” and I closed the door very quickly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“ Bye Sid.” I said kissing Sidney on the lips.
“ What did I tell you about saying ‘bye’” Sid said
“ Sorry I forgot I know. ‘ bye’ sounds sad, and it sounds like we will never see each other again and that bye is meant for people that aren’t in love” I said
“ yes it does. So I will see you in three days.”
“ Alright see ya in three days. Better?”
“ Much. I love you.”
“ I love you too.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What happened to all that love? Where did it go? Did it just disappear?
Thinking about that, made my cry. I walked back into the living room, and immediately ran over to Jordan. He put his arms around me and let me cry in his chest.
“ How could he do that Jordan? How could he do that?! We have only been divorced for a week.”
“ I don’t know Nicole, but it will all be okay I promise. He is an ass.”
“ How could he do that to me? Did he never love me? Have the past seven years been a lie?”
“ I don’t know how he could do that to you Nicole. You are amazing I have never really met anyone like you. The way you are with your kids is amazing. He is just stupid, or he is just going through something. I really don’t know, but I do know that it was not a lie, he did love you.”
“ Jordan.” I looked at him and didn’t know what to say. That was honestly the sweetest thing that anyone had ever said to me since Sidney. I did the only thing I knew to do. I leaned in and kissed him, I crashed my lips down on his.
The minute I realized that what I was doing I stopped.
“ I’m sorry. I should have realized that you didn’t like me like that.” I quickly said getting up off the couch.
“ No its not your fault. Listen Nicole, I do like you more than you know, but I just don’t think your ready for this. I think that deep down you are still in love with Sidney. I just don’t want to rush this, and then one of us will end up getting hurt. Believe me, if you weren’t newly divorced from one of my friends, I would probably have you in bed by now. I mean you know if you wanted to.”
I didn’t know what to say, its true. I was still in love with Sidney, no matter how hard I tried to forget him, or to be mad at him, I never could. And the last thing that I wanted to do was hurt Jordan. He was one of the sweetest people that I have ever met.
“ I’m Jordan. Your right, your right about everything. I am still in love with Sidney and I don’t know how to make it stop. You have no idea how badly I don’t want to be in love with him. I try to hate him, but I can’t.” I said starting to cry
“ hey Nicole don’t worry it will all be okay. You okay?” I nodded.
“ Hey why don’t we go out to dinner and then we can come back and watch a movie.”
“Thanks Jordan.” I said and smiled at him. We got ready got dressed and went out to dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ at the restaurant
“ Jordan I think people are staring.” I said as we walked to the restaurant and to the table. People obviously recognized Jordan because he was a Pittsburgh Penguin. Pittsburgh was pretty much obsessed with the Penguins. People obviously knew who I was, because our divorce was all over the local papers. Sidney as you know was obviously the star of the penguins, so whatever
“ No they aren’t. Okay maybe they are.” He said looking around the restaurant.
“So who cares if they are looking. They probably just cant believe how good you look after two kids.” He said while laughing.
“ awww Jordy thanks.” I said smiling
We finished dinner, got back to my house, and watched a movie and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up at about two in the morning and saw that I was laying on top of Jordan .
“ Come on Jordan lets go to bed.” I said as I got up off the couch and pulled Jordan up with me. We went to bed, and I snuggled into his chest and he put his arm around me, and I fell straight to sleep.
“Nicole!” I woke up the sound of Sidney’s voice, and I thought I was dreaming. I quickly pulled away from Jordan and sat up. I looked over at him, and he was standing there shirtless and in boxers. Standing at the end op my bed was Sidney with our two sons.
“ Sid what are you doing here?!” I asked jumping out of bed.
“ You told me you wanted them here by ten! What the fuck is going on?!” He said raising his voice at me
“ Don’t you dare say that in front of our kids! And don’t you ever talk to me like that again!” I said walking over to him and grabbing my two sons hands and walking them out of there. I didn’t realize that I had left Sidney and Jordan alone in my bedroom until I heard people yelling.
“ go to your rooms boys.” I said looking at my sons and pointing down the hall. They did what they were told, and they walked straight to their rooms.
I didn’t know what was going on in the room, so I decided to listen.
“ She is my fucking wife! How could you do this to me?!” Sidney said screaming
“ First off she is not your wife anymore, and secondly you did this to yourself.” Jordan said in a calmer tone.
“ What do you mean I did this to myself?! I didn’t do this to my self! I didn’t tell my ex best friend and team mate to sleep with my wife!”
“ You pushed her away! You fucking ass hole! I didn’t sleep with her and you are the one who brought his girlfriend here a week after you fucking get divorced! Were you serious with that one?! Did you not care that Nicole still loves you, and do you not care that last night you left her crushed.”
“ You think she was crushed I had to wake up to a newspaper in my face telling me that my best friend was dating my wife! How do you think that made me feel.”
“ I’m not dating Nicole, I should be but I wouldn’t do that to her. She is still in love with your stupid ass and she can’t even see that I love her.”
“ You don’t love her! NOT LIKE I DO. I mean did whatever. This is ridiculous how could you do this to me!”
What happened to all that love? Where did it go? Did it just disappear?
and with that Sidney walked out of my bedroom and looked me straight in the eye and said “are you happy now?!” in an angry voice and went down the stair
“SID!” I yelled!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did he stop or didn’t he?