Darling, You'll Be Okay

I started to bawl but then Jaime jumped up and grabbed me pulling me into a hug that he kept for awhile

"You don't deserve that and it fucking brakes my heart that that happened. To you that those people were such ass holes that you resorted to that" He said wiping my tears from his eyes

Vic mike and tony got up and joined the embrace
"Never do it again promise?" Vic asked

I couldn't promise ,anything

"I can't vic, I can't promise anything, I'm a huge mess and a waist of your time please just forget about me I'm better off dead " I said

"No we fucking love you and would go nuts if you left Jess we r going to get you through this I swear " vic said sternly
We sat down
"Now Jess first step, when was the last you cut?" Jaime said looking woridly at me.

I froze , I couldn't tell them

"Jess.." Mike asked

"Last night" I mumbled

They sighed and looked at me again
"Show us your scars" tony said softly
"All of them." He replied
"We need to know " Jaime said
I sighed
" give me a second" I ran upstairs n went to Tony's room

I put one of his tank tops and shorts on and then sweatpants over the shorts and my hoodie over the shirt I walked quietly downstairs and stood in the living room

" first please don't hate me and stop talking to me because I need you" I said scared

" your stuck with us Jess now please" mike said

I sighed and took the pants off and then my sweatshirt off
i stood in front of them
Scars covered both arms up to my shoulder and cuts started below my knees and up which was covered by the shorts but I was going baby steps
They got up and picked my arms up
I looked down as they looked at the words cut into them

Failure
Worthless
Freak
Die
Perfect
Me

"Fuck Jess" vic muttered

" that's not all " I said lifting up the tank top above my stomach revealing cuts all over my stomach similar words carved into it

"Jess." Tony said eyes watering

"There's still more" I said lifting my shorts up revealing my thighs

I put my shorts down and Mike pulled me Into a hug

" you shouldn't do that to yourself you don't deserve it your the most beautiful girl in the world , I love you and never want to lose you please stop"
I looked at him tears forming before I could answer his lips were on mine
We held the kiss then broke apart

" Jess I know it's hard to ask to stop but please for us .. We need you here you may not think so but your important, at least to us " tony said hugging me

" you really mean that?" I asked as we broke the hug apart.

" yes" they all said

"Fine ill try because honestly your all I have" I said
Jaime was the next to hug me
" anytime need us were only across the street or a call or a text " he said squeezing me then letting go

Vic gave me a hug then grabbed my hand
" Jess I need to talk to you alone is that ok?" He said nervous
" yeah of course" I said curious

He led me to his room and closed the door
He sat on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to him on the right.
Once I sat down he put his arm on my shoulder
" I need to show you something , something to show you that you aren't alone" he said removing his arm from my shoulder
I nodded curious on what it was
He then started to take the bracelets off that lined alittle of his right arm and gave me his arm.
I gasped a little as I noticed white scars on his arm obviously from a few years ago but still visible
There weren't as many as me only on about 7 but they were still there.
"Vic I didn't know"I whispered
" I know Jess" he said taking his hand away and putting it around me
" the guys know but I wanted to wait to show you , but since you were brave to show us I decided it was the right time to show you.now listen I was never as bad as you, but I did feel what you feel, i felt alone , I was bullied and sad and this was my way of coping but listen, it's not worth it. you only hurt the people around you and Jess it kills me and the others to know that you, someone we love so much, do this , I understand why you do it and how it helps with the pain but it's not helping you at all .
your destroying yourself even more"
He then moved his body to face me and I did the same he took my left arm and traced over the scars
I saw tears forming as he traced the word failure

" your not " he whispered

He then traced the word worthless
More tears were in his eyes

He picked my arm up and kissed all the scars

"Far from it " he said as he picked up my other arm and traced the scars

His had stopped at the word die
"We couldn't handle you dying" he said tears in his eyes again

He then went to my wrist and hovered over the stitched cut that was from my attempted suicide

" never ever think about trying thy again you hear me"
He said sternly looking in my eyes
" promise me right now"
I choked on words
" I promise" I said
He then did the same as last time
and kissed my scars

He then picked up one of his bracelets it was a a black rubber one that said strong in white letters

" mike gave me this the day i stopped cutting and I kept it ever since and never cut again"

He handed it to me

" now I want you to have it , because you are strong and you can beat this I promise "

I put it on and started to cry.

I needed to stop I was going to stop this time for good, for myself and the boys, my family

" I promise vic ill try the hardest not to." I said wiping my tears away

" that's all I needed to hear , we'll help as much as we can if you get depressed come over here I don't care how early or how late .if Nobody's up
Wake one of us up it'll be worth it."
He said pulling me into a hug