You Couldn't Hate Enough To Love

"Mikey, Mikey!" Frank tried to keep his voice calm as his knuckles were turning a freakish white color after gripping the steering-wheel way to hard on the way to Mikey's apartment.

It had been 3 am when Mikey called Frank, telling him that he had finally decided to let go of life, and thanking Frank for sticking with him for so long. Frank had panicked and ended up in his car on the way to Mikey, he still had his phone clutched in his right hand.

Actually, Frank had completely forgotten about his phone, and now that he remembered that he still had Mikey on the line, he desperately tried to make contact with him. When Mikey didn't reply Frank panicked again.

All that Caused him to lose control of his car to for a few seconds. Fortunately there were no sane, or sober, human awake at 3 am. So no one were there to witness Frank's little accident where he might, or might not have made some scratches on some fancy guy's Mercedes that was safely parked in someones driveway.

---

Finally Frank managed to get his car, halfway, parked in the parking lot and hurried out. With everything that Frank had on his mind, he forgot to lock his car, but no one would actually steal that piece of crap. And even if someone did bother, Frank would feel blessed, 'cause his mother had manage to persuade him to actually get a decent insurance on it. So if someone would steal it, Frank would get a brand new car. That though alone made him wanna pay someone to take a little tour to the land of nowhere with it.

As Frank reached the apartment door, he already had Alicia's spare key clutched tightly in his left hand, ready to open the door. At this point, Frank finally found the strength to force himself to breath, he needed to prepare himself for what he might find on the other side of that door.

Mikey had never been a person who could take bad news in a good way. He only ended up freaking out, and while trying to make things better, he made everything worse.

Like when Gerard found out that Alicia had been cheating on him, with his beloved little brother. Mikey was terrified that Gerard would hate and leave him. He obviously did. But Mikey and Gerard had a stronger bond than what Gerard and Alicia had have. They had grown up together, and they knew each others bigger secrets. Basically, they needed each other.

So Mikey has been using years trying to get the same brotherly relationship they once had, back. Gerard still didn't trust Mikey though, and Mikey knew that. But that didn't mean he would stop trying. And it was doing great, as long as he didn't mention Alicia of course. Gerard had been furious when they told him that they were gonna stay together.

Mikey would force Gerard to do something with him at least once every second week. It was only simple things though. Like watching a movie, or staying up late playing video games, just like when they were younger.

Mikey didn't dare to loose his older brother again, last time, he was probably a bigger wreck then what Gerard had been. But Mikey had Alicia with him to share the pain, easing it 'cause she was also in Mikey's position, but she was ready too let go of Gerard at that time, Mikey never will.

He always knew that he couldn't have both: a great and loving girlfriend, or Gerard. Because it didn't exist words that could describe Gerard, Gerard was Gerard, and the people who met him would realize that the moment he opened his mouth, Gerard was a special person, and it was an honor to know him, or be close to him in any way. No one forgets Gerard when you've met him. That's the unwritten rule.

Mikey was proud of being his brother, it was never "I'm Gerard's brother." But more like "Gerard is my brother". That's how special he was. And Mikey would never, ever, dare to loose that.

But Mikey had too choose, he had has this heavy weight on his shoulders for 3 years, knowing that eventually, he had to decide.

And then Alicia had made it clear, Mikey had to choose. She wanted to marry him. And there it was: their relationship or Gerard's and Mikey's.

But don't take her wrong, she loves Mikey more than anything, she had chosen to leave Gerard for Mikey, and that itself was a big sacrifice.

And Mikey loves Alicia, if he didn't love her so much, he would never risk his relationship with Gerard, and Alicia knew that, she knew how special Gerard was. Hell, she had even had him inside of her. Mikey and Alicia had risked a lot when they left Gerard together.

So Mikey agreed to Marry Alicia, even though he knew he wasn't ready for a commitment like that. Actually, he was terrified of Marrying Alicia, mostly because he didn't know how Gerard would react.

Gerard hated her, inside out. She had brutally ripped his heart out and stepped on it, Gerard was allowed to hate Alicia, and she knew that. So she left Mikey for some days, giving him time to drop the bomb for Gerard, she doesn't want to be in the house in case Gerard would randomly appear on the doorstep. That, and the fact that Mikey wanted some space so he could think about if he really wanted to do this. It was also pretty obvious that Mikey wanted Gerard as his bests man.

That was also one of the reason for why Alicia had given Frank one of her keys.
"If anything happens, don't hesitate to barge into our house in the middle of the night." It obviously had been a joke, but now that Frank actually were in that position, well, it wasn't good.

Frank and Alicia both knew that if Gerard didn't approve, it wouldn't be a wedding. Alicia wouldn't leave Mikey though, even if he did refused to marry her because of his brother. Alicia was just pushing him, Showing him that she was tired of Gerard's little dominance over their relationship.

Alicia had only seen Gerard a few times since the day she left him. And when they did meet, their only socialization would be a few words and a maybe a nod. It was overall awkward in every single way, even for Mikey. So they mostly avoided each other.

Gerard was cold to Alicia, he had a reason to hate her. Alicia however, wanted to have a friendship with Gerard. And sometimes, after one of Mikey's and Gerard's meetings, Mikey would come home, all exited and happy, telling her about how great his brother is. and that sometimes, made Alicia really miss him.

It wasn't before she heard that Gerard had moved on with Amy, the only women he had ever loved besides Alicia, that she would hold fast the memories she had with Gerard. It wasn't like she got depressed by the fact that Gerard had moved on though, she was rather happy for him, and Mikey knew that there was no need to feel guilty for stealing Alicia from her. Not that he ever voiced his guilt to anyone, but Alicia knew that Mikey had never forgiven himself for hurting Gerard like that.

And then Amy died.

Alicia might have felt like the worst person alive, when she heard the news. It wasn't her fault, she just felt so bad for Gerard. Knowing that if she never had left him, he wouldn't have met Amy, therefore he would never experience the sorrow of her death.

Alicia never saw Gerard again after the funeral. But it was clear that he wasn't doing too good. It was always obvious if Gerard was miserable, because Mikey got moody too. It had always been like that.

Eventually things went back to normal, but Alicia never believed that Gerard managed to recover from Amy's death properly.

---

All these thoughts went through Frank's head in those few seconds he had been standing outside Mikey's door. And when he finally put the key into the hole, he knew exactly what had happened, Mikey had told Gerard, and Gerard was not happy. He had definitely said something that pushed the trigger in Mikey's head.

That was the only explanation.

Frank had never met Gerard, he had heard great thinks about him from Mikey, and not so great things about him from Alicia. So he had grown a weird form for respect for the unknown man named Gerard.

But right now, Frank hated him more than anything. Gerard was a selfish bastard that obviously couldn't let go of his past, and he couldn't accept the fact that Mikey was happy with Alicia. Frank hated Gerard in so many ways at that moment. And all of the respect he might have had, disappeared the moment he walked into the way-to-quiet apartment.