Sometimes I Wish I Could Disappear

I watch Zack walk back to his room, I felt disappointed, I want him back out here with us. He did look tired though, he kept zoning out. I watch until he shut the door, I turn my attention back to his best friends, who I came accustomed to, especially Matt. “Frankie!” Jimmy shouts, “Drink with us my little man!” he pressures me. I didn’t want anymore, I wanna stay sober for Zack, because he’s sober. “No thanks Jimmy,” I reject for like the millionth time.

“Your such a cutie,” someone whispers in my ear. I quickly turn to my right and see a grinning Brian, I smile back, “Uh…thanks.” He then rubbed his hand on my arm and smirked. I felt my stomach drop, I was feeling uncomfortable with him already. “Are you gay?” he asks me while whispering in my ear. “Uh…yeah,” I answer, he smirks again. “Good,” he then instantly grabs me and sets me on his lap. I gasp and was trying to pry him away, the guys were all laughing, well all except Matt, he seemed pissed off.

“Brian let go of him bro,” he says kindly. “No way man!” he then squeezes the shit out of me. I felt like I was having the air sucked out of me. I then see Matt grow more agitated by the minute. “Let him go Brian,” he hisses this time. I felt lips on the side of my head and realized Brian kissed my temple. I gulped and stared at Matt for help. He angrily got up and trudged towards me and Brian. Brian was laughing his ass off thinking this is all a joke. It was so not funny.

Matt then grabbed me and pulled me out of Brian’s lap. I felt like hugging him tightly for saving me from the drunk. “Mattie! He’s mine!” he whines and grabs for my other arm. I was then pulled back to Brian and Matt pulled my other arm. They were fighting over me. I felt so used.

“Guys!” Jimmy bellows. “Really? Put the poor guy down, he looks like he’s going to have a heart attack at any moment!” you got that right Jimbo! They suddenly quit and let go of me, making me fall on my ass. I was internally pissed off, but I don’t show my emotions much.

I slowly backed away from them and sat on the spot where Zack was sitting. It was still warm from his body heat, good enough for me. The room suddenly got quiet. Then we hear a door open.

“What the hell was all that yelling about?!” an angry Zack appeared. We all looked at him feeling guilty. “Sorry,” Johnny says. “Jesus Christ get out!” he yells. We all felt really bad for a moment, realizing Zack does really need sleep, he’s moody.

“Sorry Frank , you can stay, But guys get out, I’m tired he’s quiet your not take the liquor and get out!” he yells again. They all put their heads down looking defeated and slowly make their way to the door. Brian then came up to me real quick and leaned towards my face. I pushed him away a little. “Call me,” he whispers and then kisses me so hard on the lips. I gasped and shoved him away from me. “oh you know you want me,” he smirks and walks away.

I put my focus on Zack who was boiling with anger, he rushes back in his room and slams the door so hard I swear he could have broken it. I sat there in utter disbelief. I most certainly did not want Brian.
I want Zack.

-Time Lapse to 6 hours of sleepy head Zee (hehe I hate sleeping, I’m a nightowl or hamster or whatever)-

I sat there waiting for Zack to wake up. Yes I waited all that time, he’s worth it. After like 6 hours of sleeping, he finally emerged from the room with an irritated expression.

“Good Morning Sleepyhead!” I chirped. He looked up and had a sudden realization that I was there. “Oh, hey forgot you were here, wait you stayed there all day?” he asks sounding surprised. I nod and a small smile appeared on his face. “Thanks,” he says satisfied. “Um…Zack?” I say out of no where. He looks at me and waits for me to continue. “Why did Brian do that?” I ask him, his face changed back into anger. “I don’t know, maybe just messing around with me or really trying to get at you,” he answers unsurely.

I furrow my eyebrows and stare at the floor. “Hungry?” he asks me, I look up and smile. “I guess that’s a yes,” he says again. I stand up and follow him to the kitchen. He looks through the cabinets and I cant take my eyes off of his bare torso. He’s so beautiful, I’ll never be with him, I’ll always be fat and alone all my life.

“Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Fruit Loops?” he asks, I snap out of my trance. “Cinnamon Toast Crunch!” I yell excitedly. He laughs and grabs two bowls, two spoons, and milk. “I like it without milk,” I say. He looks at me surprised. “You to? I thought I was the only one!” he exclaims. I laugh and he puts the dishes away and hands me the box. “The guys give me shit for not liking milk with my cereal,” he tells me. I chuckle and pat his shoulder. “Its because I’m lactose and tolerant,” I admit. His face turns into shock, “Oh dear,” he shakes his head and gives me an assuring smile.

We pour the cereal in a big bowl and walk into the living room. “Movie?” I nod in reply and chooses 28 Days Later and pops in the disk. As soon as the movie starts we already finished half the bowl. “God I’m such a fat ass,” he sounds disappointed. “Your not fat, your actually beautiful,” I say to him, but quickly covered my mouth. He looks at me and a blush rose on his face, along with mine.

“Thanks,” he says quietly. He looks away with me and I see a small smile curl on his juicy lips. I want them on me, Brian’s were Ew!

I look away ashamed and embarrassed at my comment. “Sorry for making you feel awkward,” I apologize. “No no! its okay, you made my day,” he says smiling. I melt every time when his smile is real. Those dimples not as deep as Matt’s but are just as amazing. Come to think of it, I like Matt’s smile to, its always so comforting and warming, like a friend.

“So…what does your California tattoo mean?” I ask Zack, staring at his hands. He looks down and looks at me. “Well, my state, my birthplace, my hometown,” he smiles at me while staring at his tattoo. A grin pasted my face, just staring at him in such a deep of a thought made my heart flutter. “And where my friends and family are from, the most amazing people I’ve met.”

How cute! He’s such a passionate person, I could just tell, he loves everyone, he loves everything, and has the most optimistic views of life. Its quite obvious.

Me on the other hand, so pessimistic about life, myself, and people. I’m glad I tapped his shoulder, not one regret crossed my mind.

“Your added to my collection,” he adds smiling at me. My eyes widen for a moment and I look away from his stare, feeling my blush creep onto me. “Maybe I should get a NY tattoo, because I made an awesome friend in New York,” he tells me.

My stomach dropped as he said that. He will get a tattoo in remembrance of meeting me. This guy is so worth it. I wish I knew if he was gay. He’s definitely not, he keeps calling me a friend, but I want more.

“That’s so rad of you,” I say, mentally slapping myself for using that dumb word. “Ha-ha rad!” he exclaims, laughing. I blush and stare at him, his laughs are cute. The way his eyes shut and the creases on the corner, his smile and perfect white teeth exposing his emotions.

“Shut up!” I playfully punch him. His laughing fit quit. He pulled a serious face on me. He was struggling not to smile. “So that’s how you wanna play huh?” he says. A smirk curling on his lips. I gulped and mimicked his expression.
“Well. Mr. Zack that’s how I start off,” I say in a seductive tone.