Returning Love

“Please, please, please,” Chantelle begged almost dragging me over to the signing both at Download festival. We had just seen Bring Me the Horizon and now she wanted to meet them, while my head was screaming no my heart could not deny her of meeting the boys I secretly adored. Plus she was my best friend and she had helped me out so much I kind of owed her for eternity. Even though this was the case I was still trying to get away, trying being the key word, I tried the ‘I need to go to the bathroom you go without me’ card.

Chanti had been my best friend for three years and it wasn’t as though I had never spoken about the boys I had just never used the words ‘Bring Me the Horizon’ I guess I never saw them that way therefore she never knew about my past with them.

“No Indie, please you can’t do that to me you have to come if you don’t you know I’ll say something stupid and they’ll think I’m a tart.” This made me laugh because it was true Chanti was famous for embarrassing herself.

“Oh fine,” I gave in knowing I would never win this battle with her unless I explained the year and a half I spent with the boys, falling in love with each one of them in a different way, and that was not something I was prepared to do in the middle of a festival in London. And even then I figured she would drag me along anyway.

“I love you,” She cooed like she was talking to my two-year-old daughter not me.

The line even though it was long moved surprisingly fast, well at least it seemed to for me, while I fidgeted and bit at my nails. ‘Maybe they wont remember me’, I thought to myself before I realised I would be even more hurt if they had forgotten me I started inwardly laughing at my own stupidity. It seemed it didn’t matter how much I tried to put it off. I mean five years is quite a long time I was eventually going to run straight into my past and that as going to happen to me today, I a matter of minutes.

I knew fate had finally caught up to me.

“Oh my god, hi guys great show can you sign this for me please” Chantelle gushed as she met the boys thrusting a t-shirt in their faces. While I on the other hand stood back trying to hide behind Chanti using her as a protective barrier between my fears and me. But I should have known that wouldn’t have lasted long Chanti was only tiny I had no hope.

“Does your friend wasn’t anything signed” Matt Kean’s voice made me smile he was always polite in some case too polite. But I couldn’t help myself from looking up at the boy who spoke and I watched as each of their facial expressions changed as recognition washed over them.

“Indie” Matt Nicholls almost yelled rushing around from behind the table engulfing me in such a hug I thought the man before me was going to crush my bone.

“Hi Matty,” My voice was small and quite I was scared and I couldn’t help it. He pulled back a little resting his hands on my shoulders to look at me, I shivered a little.

“My God look at you.” He chuckled, he was taking in my appearance I had changed a little over the five years my hair was longer again and a slightly darker shade of brown with a couple red streaks sticking out here and there, I had my lip pierced and a couple tattoos sticking out here and there not all visible behind the clothes I wore.

“I could say the same for you.” I said as he gave me another small hug.

We did the rounds and I gave them each a hug being reunited with the boys I once called my family. Nicholls embraced me with open arms, "You look exactly the same Matt." I giggled and he pinched my cheek before introducing me to their newest member Jona who had a very familiar Australian accent. But he was the last one, as I gave the rest of the boys a hug he stayed seated almost as though he couldn’t get up. Like he was paralysed, or just in heavy shock.

When I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to be acknowledged by him he finally got up and came over to me. Standing in front of me he had changed as well over the years he had even more tattoos if that was even possible, he had lost his baby fat and toned up and his hair was shorter then I remembered it bein. But there was something else something different about him that I just couldn’t put my finger on, but as he stood there looking down at me taking I’m my appearance I felt so small under his gaze that I wanted to disappear.

That was before his arms opened and he finally embraced me my arms instantly went to his waist hugging him back, taking in his all too familiar sent. The way he held onto me was as though he was protecting me, either that or he thought I was going to disappear as soon as he let go.

“Hi Oli.” I whispered into his chest not realising that I had held my breath, closing my eyes.

“Oh Indie…” He sighed out a heavy sigh like he had been holding his for five years.