Returning Love

Somehow the boys had managed to convince Chanti and I that we should all catch up tonight; head down to a local pub and just have a few drinks catch up as they so politely put it. And really it wasn’t I that they convinced it was Chanti the way she looked at Matt; there was no way that I could say no.

So here I sat dressed in tight torn up jeans a casual singlet with my jacket thrown over me protecting me from the cool London nights, in a bar surrounded by the boys and Chanti at my side. Thankfully these boys knew how to keep up a conversation starting by delving into interesting events on their current tour. A tour I had just learned was over, they now officially had three months holiday before they were needed back in the studio.

“What about you Indie?” Lee asked, “What are you doing with yourself these days?”

“Well actually at the moment I’m a tattoo artist.” I told them and they all just laughed

“So are you telling me that all this time we could have been getting free tattoos?” Nichols asked still laughing, though Oliver had a small sneaky but what looked to be proud smile on his face. He had barely said a word all night and nothing changed now.

“Well, yea I suppose but I haven’t been doing it for long maybe two years before that I was a make up artist and hair dresser” I told them

“Oh God yes the hair.” Matt Kean laughed

“I remember that, your first job ended horribly then we all went crazy and partied like mad for a month.” Lee reminded they were all still laughing except Oliver who didn’t even have a smile present on his face. And I realised why though it was funny now at the time it hadn’t been and that crazy month he spoke of was practically the reason I left.

Conversation moved on for a while to Chanti they were curious as to her name which when I explained was Chantelle it was as though a light bulb went off in each of their heads. They asked how we new each other and what she did for a living and the conversation moved on quite freely for a while. It was nice to see the boys there was no way I could deny that, it was as though I hadn’t realised how much I had missed them until I saw them again.

“So what did you think of our performance today?” Lee asked simply

“It was great.” Chanti exclaimed so excited

“I have to agree though it isn’t they first time I have seen you play live” I admitted and they just laughed

“We know you used to watch us all the time.” Kean announced

“No I mean I saw you play Soundwave festival in Australia a couple years back.” I told them shyly “I always had to keep track…is that weird?” I asked to one in particular and that was when things got awkward, though they reassured me it wasn’t weird they all also decided to go get drinks and Chanti decided to see if they knew how to dance.

Basically they were giving Oliver and I a chance to speak in private and I was scared.

“I’m sorry Oliver.” I spoke quietly but I knew he had heard me, though he still didn’t look up or acknowledge me at all. “Fuck…you can’t even look at me.” I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes and I was ready to get up and leave. I knew I had hurt him but this was just too horrible to endure.
Though as I was getting up and pulling my jacket up from the back of my chair he spoke.

“Why did you leave Indie?” He asked and I sat immediately he was looking directly at me now and I didn’t know what was worse

“Did you read the letter?” I asked he nodded “Well the letter explained it” I told him

“No not really.” He countered

“Oliver, our relationship was not healthy, and it was my fault. Just you needed to be concentrating on the band and making something for yourself, and I was doing nothing but holding you back” He gave a silent nod but didn’t say a word more

“How’s Carol and Tommy?” I asked after a moment

“How can you even ask about her?” His voice sounded full of spite

“Don’t be mad at her Ol…she did what she thought was right” I told him

“Bullshit.” He spat back

“Don’t be horrible, she is your mum and she would do anything to look out for both you and Tom. And that was exactly what she was doing Oliver she was being a mother and protecting her children and guiding them on the right path.” I was getting heated.

“How can you say that, you would have no idea” He wasn’t mad but he wasn’t all that happy either, just confused that I was defending Carol.

“I have perfectly good idea Oliver I would do anything in this world to protect my daughter”.