Sullen Girl

I’m not really sure how Honey and I was walking towards my house but here we were in front of my house with me leaning on the door as I was trying to put the key in the damn hole, it was too damn cold to even move I wondered how Honey was just smoking a cigarette leaning on the other side of me.

“You sure you don’t want me to help? You seem shaken up.” She must have seen the look I gave her so she quickly added “You know from the cold.”

“I got it.” I said quickly as I pushed the door open she quickly flicked her cancer stick and walked in with a smile gracing her face as I looked over to her.

“Are these the section 8 buildings? I’ve been trying to get in here for a while but I guess queers don’t count on the list of the needy.”

Queer? I guess she likes girls too. I hummed an answer back to her as we walked up the stairs seeing how my apartment was on the second floor. I opened my door to my apartment quickly to get a greeting from Micky as he yowled at me.

“Is he nice?” I heard Honey say from behind me but he was already running towards his bowl. “He seems hungry.”

“He doesn’t really like strangers.” I said as I put my jacket it up and Honey quickly followed my steps, she also locked the door for me too which was nice even though she didn’t lock the door properly but I will fix that later. As I walked in my house I was flicking on the lights and slowly reached Micky’s bowl which was slightly empty but he was a picky eater so I quickly filled the bowl.

“You have a message!” Honey stated I saw it when I first walked in the house the red light blaring in my face but I didn’t really want to answer it. “Want me to press the button?”

“Alright, honey.” I said quickly feeling a little annoyed by Honey at the moment she seems very busy and really at this moment all I wanted to do was sleep.

“Hey honey, it seems that you are out again.” I heard my mother’s voice invaded my apartment quickly and instantly my stomach turned into hard knots, she sighed into the phone. “I miss you….you know it’s hard to know what’s going on in your daughter life when she doesn’t speak to you in a month. I was close to calling a missing adult report to the police but thankfully Janet. You remember Janet right? Well Janet saw you leaving a bar with a gentleman so I figured you were doing alright. I really wish you would answer your phone when I called…or when any of us call. Alright well hopefully you’ll call us back, love you Olivia.”

I felt my face twisted in anger but I tried my best to quickly sallow down the bitter feeling but it was too late as Honey walked in the living room with knitted eyebrows and sympathetic eyes. I quickly turn my back on her to open a window; it was too hot I felt like I was sweating to death.

“Don’t like your parents either? I feel yah. My parents kicked me out of the house when I was eighteen. Good for nothing pieces of shits.”

I sighed as the cool air came into the room and I slowly walked over to the couch sitting away from Honey, she looked around the room with interest but I’m sure I bore her to death. I don’t really have many things just a few books scattered around the computer desk and a computer that was off. Micky found his way over to Honey as he quickly looked at her before jumping on her lap letting her pet his arched back and off he went towards me. I smiled gently as he quickly sat on my lap into a ball, and I felt a surge of happiness.

“You got cable?”

“Yeah.” I said lowly as Honey nodded her head. “The remote is next to you, put anything on.” I said even though I wanted to sleep as I looked out the window again I saw the snow was falling and hard. I sighed looking back over to Honey. “You can stay over if you like.”

“Why?”

“The snow is falling again.” I said as she looked away from the tv out towards the window and shook her head.

“Thanks. You know I feel bad, I should get going.” She said quickly getting up from the couch making me furrow my eyebrows. “I’ll see yah tomorrow, and Olivia.”

“Yeah?”

“Be happy.” She said before turning on her heel and before I had the time to get up she was already gone and now I felt bad. Shit.

I replayed my interaction with Honey in my head all night which caused me to not fall asleep. For the first time in a while I felt bad for being aloof to a person. I mean how could I be really mean to Honey? She seems so sweet and kind and I just pushed her out of my life. I do that a lot I noticed; it really takes a person to make me open up to them. I should have opened up to her, she helped me with Jersey but I just couldn’t find it in my heart to let her in. Am I really that much of a bitch? Am I too damaged? Why did I let this happen?

I skipped out on working both jobs, I didn’t feel like going in to deal with Jersey and I really didn’t want to see Lucas at the moment. I probably look like crap seeing how I didn’t fall asleep at all since my thoughts kept me up. Micky was happy I was home as we stood up and watched tv all day with him on my lap most of the time or all of the time. I didn’t even bother to eat today as I became one with the couch. Funny how I missed this uncomfortable thing, I missed it more than my bed. My bed has become something I am too familiar with; I’m almost never home to love and get a feel for the couch. I should have hated how uncomfortable I was but I just stood in the same spot for more than six hours. Why should I feel comfort when I don’t deserve it? As I zoned out on to what was on the tv I heard loud knocks at the door. My heart skipped a beat as I turned my head to look at the door, and looked back at the cable box.

3:00 am.

How the fuck did I stay here in this one spot all day? Did I fall asleep? Did I just go into my mind and act like everything was okay? I’m not too sure but I looked to see Micky was still on my lap but he rolled off to go look at the front door, I furrowed my eyebrows as I slipped off the couch feeling the numbing feel which turned into hot pins and needles causing me to stumble over myself and fall on my knees. The knocking happened again causing me to panic, who the hell was here at 3:00 am. I sighed pulling myself up trying my best to ignoring my pain, as I walked past the answering machine I have three more message. I sighed ignoring them as I slowly walked towards the door, I didn’t know who would be at my door this late and it left fear clinging on my throat slowly closing up my wind pipes. I got to the door with shaky hands and I slowly unlocked some locks with a heavy and deep sigh I pulled it open to see the blonde that I kicked out yesterday. She turned around with her large blow out bubble gum before popping it sucking it in her mouth.

“Are you going to let me in or what?”

And my heart started to soar because Honey wasn’t going to leave so quickly and I was glad that someone hasn’t given up on me. I unlocked the door pulling the door opening letting the cold air and Honey in. She quickly smiled over to me as I smiled back to her while closing the door as she slowly got out of her outerwear.
“So Jersey was mad you didn’t show up or answer your phone. That creep seriously has a thing for you.” She said as I raised an eyebrow to her as she slipped off her boots. “But I told him you were feeling well and that he wouldn’t want you puking on people. He was mad and told me to shut up but he left you alone yeah?”

“Uh…” She turned to look at me with furrowed eyebrows before shaking her head over to me.

“You didn’t check your messages then? You’re a mess Olivia, a beautiful mess.”

She walked in my house like she owned it which should ruffle my feathers but didn’t shockingly enough as she walked towards my answering machine and played the two messages which happened to be from my mother again, she stopped playing them as soon as my mother voice came through then Jeresy’s wild rants came in and she deleted them.

“I saved the ones from your mother, you might want to listen to those. Ayy, you didn’t even feed your cat?”

She’s right I didn’t. I thought while following Honey as she quickly grabbed the cat food pouring it in a bowl for him, as Micky arched his back rubbing her legs before running towards the bowl. I felt my heart pinch in sadness; I didn’t even know where I was today.

“Did you shower?” She asked looking over to me as I bit the inside of my cheek as she sighed over to me. “Alright go in the shower, I’ll clean up.”

“Why are you doing this?” I asked as she sent me a very warm smile but her eyes showed off her sadness for me.

“Because I know when a friend needs help.” She said truthful as I furrowed my eyebrows over to her as she walked over to me grabbing at my hands…I only flinched a bit.

“I don’t need help.” I said softly as she gave me a face I couldn’t really explain but I knew she didn’t believe me, and I really didn’t believe myself either.

“Well then I am a friend, who is cleaning up after your ass, have you seen your apartment?” She said as I looked around seeing it looked okay could be better. “Listen my mother was a clean freak and this would never be allowed in her house therefore I will not allow it in your house because sadly I am like my she-devil of a fucking mother. So go wash up and I’ll cook us some later dinner because from the looks of it you haven’t eaten a meal since you were in high school.”

I furrowed my eyebrows to her but listened to Honey as I spun on my heel to go wash up and try my best to live a “normal” life like she wanted because that’s what friends are for right?